The art of making people laugh, its main expression is humor. The essence of humor is to be funny, ridiculous and meaningful. Humor is the crystallization of human wisdom and an advanced emotional and aesthetic activity. Any mediocre value orientation and rigid way of thinking have nothing to do with humor.
In real life, we can often see that the two sides argue fiercely, tensely and at a stalemate. Often the dispute can be resolved by one or two humorous words from a third party. The two parties in the dispute laughed dumbly
and said goodbye
for joy, turning hostility into friendship. In a lifeless and monotonous situation, someone's humorous talk
laughing often breaks the silence, activates people's tired and numb nerves, and creates a lively atmosphere. , healthy and interesting atmosphere. Therefore, in a sense, humor is a mediator that resolves human conflicts, a stimulant that activates and enriches human life, and is an elegant spiritual activity and a beautiful way of behavior.
The sixty-eight humorous stories selected here reflect ancient Chinese society from multiple angles, especially the social life and human conditions since the Middle Ages.
These jokes are either fantasy, reality, revelation, criticism, praise, satire, ridicule, or explanation. They are varied and colorful, bringing people into an ancient and realistic world. Fascinating world, so as to obtain the greatest spiritual and emotional satisfaction.
Stealing Meat A certain person went to the capital to sell meat. He stopped to relieve himself in front of a toilet on the roadside and hung the meat outside. Seeing this, Person B quickly stole the meat. Before he could go far, A had already walked out of the toilet, grabbed B, and asked B if he saw someone taking his meat from the toilet. Fearing that A would see through, B had already held the meat in his mouth, and said impatiently: "You are such a fool! How could you hang the meat outside the door without
throwing it away? If you are like me, put the meat If you hold it in your mouth, how can it be lost?"
——Wei Handan Chun's "Laughing Forest"
Name Game Xu Zhicai, the king of Xiyang in the Northern Qi Dynasty, was very eloquent, especially good at it. Word play. Before he was crowned king, he tried to play with Wang Yuanjing, the minister.
Wang Yuanjing laughed at Xu Zhicai's name and said: "Your name is 'Zhicai', what's the point? In my opinion, it's better to call it 'Wucai'." After hearing this, Xu Zhicai couldn't help but laugh at Xu Zhicai's name. Angry and not angry, he immediately mocked Wang Yuanjing's surname: "The word '王', with the word '王' on the left,"
The horns and tail will turn into a 'sheep'." Wang Yuanjing was speechless and embarrassed.
Another time, Xu Zhicai entertained guests, and Lu Yuanming was also present. During the dinner, Lu Yuanming teased Xu Zhicai's surname and said: "'Xu' means Wei Ruren ("Wei" plus "彳" and "Ru")." Xu Zhicai immediately mocked Yuan Ming's surname. Surname -
—The character "Lu" (traditional "Lu"): "The character 'Lu', An'ah Yin Zhenyi
When a boy is born, he becomes 'Lu' () ', and 'horse' (horse) becomes 'donkey' (donkey)." Lu Yuanming's face turned red and his ears were red, and he was speechless
In response, everyone in the audience burst into laughter.
——Old title of Sui Dynasty Hou Bai's "Qi Yan Lu"
Bird's Nest and Calf Hou Bai later became an official in the Tang Dynasty, and often guessed riddles with people. Hou Bai answered them first Everyone made a three-chapter agreement: "The thing you guessed
must be a real thing that can be seen; second, it cannot be used as an explanation to confuse everyone; third, if the explanation is completed, it will be seen
If you don't have this, you should be punished." Then he first revealed the riddle: "The back is as big as the house, the belly is as big as the pillow (the crossbar on the back of the car), and the mouth is as big as the cup." Everyone guessed. After waiting for a long time, no one guessed it, and they all said: "Where in the world is there an object with a mouth as big as a cup and a back as big as a house? There is no such thing. You must fight with all of us. Bet." After Hou Bai finished the bet with everyone, he explained: "This is a swallow's nest." Everyone suddenly laughed.
Another time, Hou Bai attended a large banquet. During the dinner, everyone asked him to make a riddle for fun. The guessed things should neither be strange nor difficult to recognize, nor should they be abstract and unreal. Hou Bai responded and said: "There is something as big as a dog and its face is very much like a cow.
What is this? ”
Everyone kept guessing, some said it was a deer, some said it was a deer, but they were all rejected. Hou Bai was asked to tell the answer.
Hou Bai Bai laughed loudly and said, "This is a calf. ”
——The old title of "Qi Yan Lu" by Hou Bai of the Sui Dynasty
In the early years of the Tang Dynasty when He Zhizhang begged for Tianbao, Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty, the well-known secretary Supervisor He Zhizhang wrote to the court, wishing to He resigned and returned to his hometown of Wuzhong.
Li Longji respected him very much and treated him differently than others.
When He Zhizhang said goodbye to Tang Xuanzong, he couldn't help but burst into tears. . Tang Xuanzong asked him what else he wanted. Zhizhang said: "I Zhizhang has a dog who has not yet been named. If your majesty gives him a name, it will be an honor for me to return home." Xuanzong said: "Faith is the core of Tao. The one who is good is faith." Qing's son should be named Fu. "Zhizhang thanked me for the order.
After a long time, Zhizhang realized something and thought to himself: "The emperor is making fun of me too much. I am from Wu, and the character 'Fu' is the character '子' added below the character 'Zhao'. He named my son "Fu". Doesn't he call my son "paw"? ”
——Gao Yi, Song Dynasty, "Living in Groups"
I don’t know what poetry is, but Ai Zi likes to write poems. One day, Ai Zi wandered between Qi and Wei and stayed in a hotel. . At night, he heard someone in the neighboring house talking: "A song. "After a while, he said: "Another song. "Ai Zi was confused. He felt no sleepiness at all and had no sleep all night.
Lying until dawn, he heard the man in the neighboring room say about six or seven times, that is, six or seven songs. Ai Zi thought The man in the neighbor's house must be a poet. He was concentrating on reciting poems in the quiet moonlit night. He felt respected in his heart and loved the man's quick thinking, so he decided to get acquainted with him.
Early in the morning, Ai Zi got out of bed, put on her clothes, straightened her headband, and stood at the door to greet her. After a while, a man who looked like a merchant walked out of the neighboring house. He was thin and looked sick. Ai Zi felt very disappointed and thought: With this appearance, how can he look like a poet?
Perhaps, one cannot judge blindly by appearance, so he stepped forward and asked, "Listen." He said that he has many poems. Could you let my students have a look?
The man said: "I am a businessman and I never know what poetry is." "Always refused to take out the poem
. Ai Zi said stubbornly: "Last night I heard you saying 'one' in the house, and then saying 'one' again. Is that so
Isn’t it poetry? "
After hearing this, the man burst into laughter: "You misunderstood. I had a bad stomach last night. Every time I had diarrhea, I couldn't find paper at night, so I wiped it with my hands. I had diarrhea all night and soiled my hands almost six or seven times. The ‘hand’ I am talking about is not the ‘first’ of the poem. "Ai Zi was so ashamed after hearing this.
——Old title of Su Shi's "Ai Zi's Miscellaneous Theory" of Song Dynasty
Word Game Su Dongpo heard that Wang Jinggong's "Zi Shuo" had just been completed. He went to Jinggong's place to congratulate him and jokingly said: "It is said in the masterpiece: 'Bamboo' whips' horse' is called 'du'. But I still have a question: "I don't know if you can whip a dog with bamboo, so what's so funny about it?" Jinggong laughed but didn't answer, but asked: "Dove" Is there any evidence that the word '九' comes from 'bird'?"
Dongpo immediately replied: "The Book of Songs says: 'The dead dove is in the mulberry tree, and its son is seven-year-old', plus Their parents are exactly
nine." After hearing this, Wang Jinggong nodded happily. After a long time, I realized that Su Dongpo had made another big joke on him.
——"Tiao Jie Bian" by Su Shi Yuming and Wang Shizhenci of the Song Dynasty
Three points of poetry, seven points of reading Qin Shaozhang once told such a story:
Poet Guo Xiangzheng once passed by Hangzhou and gave Su Dongpo a volume of poems he had written for appreciation. Before Dongpo could read the poem, he began to chant it vividly and vividly. He read it until his emotions overflowed and his voice was heard everywhere. After reciting the poem, he asked Dongpo for his opinion: "Xiangzheng
How would you rate these poems?"
Dongpo said without hesitation: "Ten points." Guo Xiangzheng was overjoyed and asked again How can there be ten points?
Dongpo smiled and replied:
"When you recited a poem just now, seven points came from reading and three points came from poetry. If not ten points, how much more?"
——Su Shi of the Song Dynasty Yuming·Wang Shizhenci's "Tiaojie Bian"
Tax-free When Su Dongpo was demoted to Huangzhou by the imperial court, he supervised Huangzhou's trade taxation work. A scholar wrote a letter to Dongpo, requesting a tax exemption for his family. The letter said:
"There is no cargo on my ship, so I cannot pay taxes. Everything is under your command. I ask you to let me go to Jingnan
mansion to retrieve my late father's coffin. "Okay."
The officials looked up and laughed.
——Song Dynasty Su Shi Yuming Wang Shizhenci's "Interesting Edition"
Well, Su Dongpo is bold and straightforward by nature, and he can't keep things in his heart. He once said: "For example, If there are flies in your food, you will be tempted to spit them out. "Chao Meishu (characterized by Chao Duanyan) said this to Dongpo every time he went to see him.
On one occasion, Dongpo said to Uncle Mei: "I was selected by Zhaoling to serve in Xianke. At that time, the literary and intellectual leaders often became close friends.
The emperor summoned him in the Bian Hall. The ministers responded, and every time I directly stated the current affairs, the emperor approved and adopted it. Soon, I repeatedly submitted chapters to discuss the matter. Although the purpose of the words was very direct, the emperor never complained. . If I wasn't the one who gave the court advice, who could give it pertinent advice? The only thing I'm worried about now is that the court will kill me." Uncle Mei was speechless after hearing this.
Dongpo sighed for a long time, and then said: "If the court really wants to kill me, what's the point of regretting my little life? There's just one thing.
After killing me, , which is good for you."
The two laughed at each other.
——"Tiao Jie Bian" by Su Shi Yuming and Wang Shizhenci of the Song Dynasty
The poet Shi Manqing (characterized by Shi Yannian), a scholar of the Song Dynasty, was addicted to alcohol and had the genius of Li Banxian (Taibai) . Manqing behaves wildly and is good at talking humorously.
Humorous remarks.
Once, Shi Manqing rode a horse to visit Baoning Temple. The man leading the horse lost control for a moment, the horse frightened away, and Manqing accidentally fell from the horse and fell to the ground. The attendants
hurriedly picked him up and put him on the saddle. When pedestrians saw this, they all gathered around to watch, thinking that he would be furious and scold the horseman for a while. Unexpectedly, Shi Manqing slowly raised his riding whip and half-jokingly said to the horseman:
"Fortunately, I am a bachelor of Shi. If I were a bachelor of Wa, wouldn't I have been smashed to pieces long ago?"
p>
——Song Dynasty Xing Jushi's "Guangzhang Lu"
Huang Tingjian jokingly said to Su Shi: "The calligraphy of Wang Xizhi, the great calligrapher of the Eastern Jin Dynasty, is jokingly called the "changing goose" character by the world; today's Han people Zong Confucianism was greedy. Every time he got a piece of your calligraphy, he would go to the palace commander Yao Lin in exchange for ten pounds of meat. In this way, you can call your calligraphy a trade. "The sheep wrote it."
One day, Su Shi was busy writing in the Hanlin Academy. At this time, Han Zongru sent a letter, with the purpose of getting Su Shi to reply.
His words are exchanged for meat. The visitor was standing under the door, and the supervisor was in a hurry. Su Shi smiled and said to him: "Go back and tell your boss that he will stop eating meat today." >
The old woman painted her face and Wang Meng, a native of Jin Dynasty, kept her promise and always treated guests with tea. People at the time jokingly called it "there will be a flood today."
Su Dongpo once visited a house in his early years. The host was very hospitable and asked for tea over and over again. Dongpo was embarrassed and smiled at the host and said: "As the saying goes, the old woman paints her face." Understand this meaning - apply (tea) and apply (tea) again.
——Xing Jushi of the Song Dynasty, "Lu Zhang"
The Art of Prolonging Life When Pu Chuan was serving as the prefect of Hangzhou, one day, a man of alchemy came to pay him a visit. This alchemist is about ninety years old, but his face is as fresh as a baby's. Pu Chuanzheng entertained him happily, and the two talked very speculatively. Chuanzheng asked him for longevity and longevity. The alchemist replied: "My longevity technique is extremely simple and easy to perform. Basically, there are no taboos. There is only one thing to remember, which is to abstain from sexual desire."
"
After hearing this, Chuanzheng bowed his head and pondered for a long time, and sighed: "If this is the case, then what is the benefit of living more than a thousand years
? ”
——Fan Zhengmin of the Song Dynasty, "Dunzhai Xianlan"
Taboo the word "Luo" Liu Mian, a scholar in the Tang Dynasty, had many taboos by nature. He took part in the imperial examination in his early years. When the servants were talking to him, if anyone said the word "luo" carelessly, he would get angry and speak rudely. If the servant accidentally made the mistake of using the word "luo", he would use a stick. Beat him up. Therefore, when his servants spoke to him, they often referred to "well-being" as "well-being."
On this day, he suddenly heard someone say that the list was posted. He quickly sent his servant to watch. After a while, the servant came back.
Liu Mian hurriedly stepped forward and asked, "Is my name on the list?" The servant sighed and replied: "The scholar is well." ”
——Fan Zhengmin of the Song Dynasty, "Duzhai Leisure Viewing"
The chaste lady Xu Yifang's wife, Liu, often prided herself on being upright and chaste. Once, Xu Yifang was away for a year Mrs. Liu was at home.
Standing alone in her boudoir.
One day, Xu Yifang suddenly returned home after handling his affairs and said to his wife: "I have been away for more than a year, and you are here.
Living alone at home is boring, why don’t you often walk around with your neighbors and relatives? ”
Ms. Liu told him: “Since Lang Jun went out, I feel like I have lost my head and soul. I just stay behind closed doors every day and never leave the house.”
"
Xu Yifang sighed after hearing this. He then asked his wife how she usually finds fun. Liu replied: "Where is the fun?
I just often write little poems to express my emotions. "
Yifang was very happy when he heard it, so he asked his wife to take the poem and read it. He didn't know it until he saw it, but he was shocked when he saw it - it turned out to be the first poem in the book
The title is: "Talking to Neighboring Monks on a Moonlit Night"
——Song Dynasty Fan Zhengmin's "Dunzhai Leisure Reading"
Ai Zizhang's grandson Ai Zi has a grandson who is more than ten years old. , has a lazy and naughty temperament and doesn't like to study. Ai Zi hates him very much and often beats him with a catalpa stick, but he never changes. He was beaten to death. Therefore, whenever his father beat his child with a stick, he would beg for mercy with tears in his eyes. When Ai Zi saw his son's pitiful appearance, he became even more angry.
, teaching him a lesson: "Isn't it a good idea for me to discipline your children for you? "As he spoke, the beating got harder, and his son had no choice but to do anything.
He.
One winter morning, it was snowing heavily, and my grandson was playing with snowballs in the yard. Ai Zi When he found out, he took off his grandson's clothes and ordered him to kneel on the snow. He was so cold that he shivered all over. It was really pitiful. The son didn't dare to plead anymore, so he took off his clothes.
The clothes knelt next to his son. When Ai Zi saw it, he asked in surprise: "Your son has made a mistake and deserves to be punished. What crime do you have to kneel with him
? The son cried and said, "You freeze my son, and I will freeze your son." "Ai Zi couldn't help but laugh and forgive
their father and son.
——Ming Lu Zhuo's "Ai Zi's Afterwords"
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