Then you need to cultivate willpower:
1. Be proactive
Don’t confuse willpower with self-denial. When it is applied to positive When the target is reached, it will become a huge force.
A businessman on the East Coast of the United States knew that he drank too much. However, he was engaged in a very annoying job, and drinking a few glasses of wine before a meal seemed to relax people's nervousness. But alcohol and tiring work made him drowsy, so he often fell asleep as soon as he finished drinking. One day, the manager realized that he was wasting his time drinking away his sorrows. So he decided not to drink too much, but to spend more time with his children. It was not easy at the beginning, and he often thought of the fragrant wine, but he warned himself that what he was doing now would result in gains rather than losses. Later facts proved that the more he cared about his family and children, the more motivated he was at work.
Active willpower allows you to overcome inertia and focus on the future. When you encounter resistance, imagine how happy you will be after overcoming it; actively devote yourself to the specific practice of achieving your goals, and you will be able to persist to the end.
2. Make up your mind
James Prowse, a psychology professor at the University of Rhode Island in the United States, divided the realization of a certain change into four steps:
Resist- - Unwillingness to change;
Consider – weigh the pros and cons of change;
Action – develop willpower to achieve change;
Persistence – use willpower to keep the transformation going.
Some people are "chronic decision-makers". They know that they should reduce their drinking, but they are indecisive when making decisions and are unable to take action.
In order to make up your mind, you can set a deadline for your goal. Maggie Collins is a teacher in California who is very concerned about how to lose weight. Later, she was elected as the president of a citizen organization and decided to lose 6 kilograms. For this reason, she bought clothes that were two sizes smaller than her own body and wanted to wear them at the annual meeting in three months. Thanks to persistence, Collins finally got what he wanted.
3. Clear goals
Professor Pross once studied a group of experimental subjects who planned to change their behavior starting from New Year's Day. It was found that the most successful were those with the most specific and clear goals. people. One of the men was determined to be kind and equal to his wife every day. Later, he really did it. The other person just expressed in general terms that he wanted to be nicer to the people at home, but within a few days it was the same as before, with the same quarrels.
Don't say empty words such as: "I plan to do more physical exercise", or "I plan to read more books." Instead, be specific and clear - "I plan to walk for 45 minutes every morning", or "I plan to read for an hour on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings of the week."
4. Weigh the pros and cons
If you are half-hearted about physical exercise because you cannot see the actual benefits, mere desire will not make you willingly put on running shoes.
Professor Pross advises people who come to him for consultation that they can draw four grids on a piece of paper to fill in short-term and long-term losses and gains. If you plan to quit smoking, you can fill in the top two boxes with short-term losses: "I felt sad at first" and short-term gains: "I can save a lot of money"; fill in the bottom two boxes with long-term gains: "My The body will become healthier" and long-term losses: "I will promote a way to relieve boredom." Through careful comparison like this, it will be easier to muster the willpower to quit smoking.
5. Change yourself
However, knowing the gains is not enough. The most fundamental motivation comes from the desire to change one's own image and control one's own life. Reasons can sometimes be convincing, but only when emotional factors are aroused can one truly respond.
Tom smokes three packs of cigarettes every day. Although he keeps coughing, he still refuses to listen to the doctor's advice. Instead, he goes his own way and smokes without fail. "One day, I suddenly realized that I was so stupid." He recalled, "Isn't this 'suicide'? In order to survive, I have to quit smoking." Since quitting smoking can make him feel better, Tom had the idea The willpower to break bad habits.
6. Pay attention to the spirit
Touranvois, the famous French general in the 17th century, was famous for leading by example and standing at the front of the team every time he fought. When others asked about this, he said bluntly: "My actions looked like a brave person, but I was extremely scared from beginning to end. I did not give in to timidity, but said to my body-'Old man, you Although I'm trembling, I have to move forward!" He charged forward resolutely.
A large number of facts have proven that acting as if you have a strong will will help you become a person with a strong will.
7. Tempering will
As early as 1915, psychologist Boyd Barrett once proposed a method of tempering will. This included getting up and sitting down from a chair 30 times, emptying a box of matches and putting them back into the box one by one. He believes that these exercises can strengthen the willpower to face more serious and difficult challenges in the future. Barrett's specific advice may seem dated, but his line of thinking is inspiring. For example, you could plan in advance what you want to do on Sunday morning and decide not to eat lunch until you finish it.
Bill Bradley from New Jersey is a star of the New York professional basketball team. In addition to participating in normal training, he comes to the court early every morning and practices foul shots alone. shooting aim. "Hard work pays off", and he finally became the person who scored the most shots on the team.
8. Persist to the end
As the saying goes, "Where there is a will, there is a way." It means fighting against difficulties and overcoming them. Prowse studied people who quit smoking and then started smoking again and found that many people had not thought carefully about how to deal with the temptation of cigarettes. So even though you muster up the strength to quit smoking, you can't stick to it. When someone handed me a cigarette, I took it and smoked it.
If you decide to quit drinking, don't touch your glass under any circumstances. If you insist on jogging, even if it rains heavily when you wake up in the morning, do it indoors.
9. Seek truth from facts
If you are required to lose 25 kilograms within 3 months, or you must engage in 3 hours of physical exercise a day, then for such an unachievable goal, The strongest will is of no avail. Moreover, the consequences of failure can ultimately negate your desire to try again.
In many cases, it is a good idea to break down a single large goal or many smaller goals. Bob, who plans to quit smoking, posted a sign in his room - "No Drinking Every Day." Since the overall goal of quitting drinking is broken down into specific actions every day, you can clarify your determination again the next day. At the end of the week, Bob was full of confidence when he reviewed his series of "victories" in the past seven days, and finally said goodbye to wine.
10. Gradual cultivation
Strong will does not appear suddenly overnight. It is formed step by step in the process of gradual accumulation. You will inevitably encounter setbacks and failures in the process. You must find out the reasons for your lack of fighting spirit in order to solve them in a targeted manner.
The first time Mary quit smoking, she made great determination, but failed. When analyzing the reasons, I realized that I needed to do something instead of holding cigarettes. Later she bought needles and wool and knitted sweaters when she wanted to smoke. A few months later, Mary gave up smoking completely and knitted a wool vest for her husband, which was really "killing two birds with one stone."
11. Advance with victory
Practice has proved that every success will further enhance willpower. If you overcome one bad habit with tenacity, you'll gain the confidence to take on another challenge and win.
Every success can increase your self-confidence by one point and provide you with a solid "foothold" on the arduous journey of climbing the cliff. Perhaps the new tasks we face are more difficult, but since we succeeded before, we will definitely succeed this time and in the future.