M: This is our first time here.
Zhao: This is the first time.
M: But we are old friends with everyone.
Zhao: What's the matter?
Because we often appear on TV.
Zhao: People often watch our programs.
M: I just haven't seen it myself.
Zhao: There is no such opportunity.
Man: So everyone is very interested and wants to get a ticket to see: What does this Ma Ji look like?
Zhao: Everyone is very concerned.
M: Now I'd like to take this opportunity to have a public exhibition here.
Zhao: Huh? Where is the exhibition?
Ma: Welcome to visit, please don't take it away!
Zhao: Hey! Who can hold it?
M: There is a performance ahead.
Zhao: That's right.
Man: What about us? Let's have a special program here.
Zhao: What's the program?
M: Let's hold a sports competition here.
Zhao: Where is it?
M: Right here on this stage.
Zhao: Can you move on this stage?
M: We don't have big competitions.
Zhao: Then what shall we play? Shall we play chess?
M: I can't play chess. I can't see clearly.
Zhao: Then let's tug of war.
M: Tug of war is a collective event.
Zhao: Then let's play boxing.
Ma: Boxing? None of us should hit people.
Zhao: Then what shall we play?
M: Let's boast in the competition.
Zhao: Hey! Bragging?
Man: Ah.
Zhao: Are you talking big?
M: This is a new competition. There are many boasters at all times and in all countries.
Zhao: Really?
M: There are many ways to brag.
Zhao: How do they play?
Horse: Blow straight, blow obliquely, blow each other, hold and blow, and sweep the sky.
Zhao: Hey! There are still many patterns.
Ma: Let's cross out those boastful faces and recommend them to everyone through today's friendship competition.
Zhao: Huh?
You can learn anything you like.
Zhao: Has anyone studied this?
M: Let me show you.
Zhao: Yes. But I don't have much bragging experience.
M: It doesn't matter. Practice makes perfect. As long as you keep blowing, often blowing and blowing hard, it won't be long before you can blow out of Asia and go to the world.
Zhao: Huh? I play Asia?
You should have confidence. Your conditions are really good!
Zhao: What do I have?
M: He has a thick skin.
Zhao: Hey ... Who is it?
M: How about that?
Zhao: In that case, I'll give it a try.
Man: OK, let's start the bragging contest.
Zhang: OK, OK.
M: Please sit down. If anyone here is interested in bragging, you are welcome to come up and brag together.
Zhao: Don't expand this team.
M: OK, now the bragging contest begins, and athletes from both sides enter.
Zhao: What about the entrance ceremony?
Ma: (learning to play)
Zhao: What band is this?
Ma: Accompanied by wind music.
Zhao: Well, they are all blown together.
Ma: First of all, Zhao Yan, the seeded player, plays!
Zhao: Good! Me!
M: Huh?
Zhao: I really haven't played with this thing.
M: If we want to blow, we should blow as much as possible.
Zhao: Of course, we still want to break the record.
M: That's right.
Zhao: If you want to brag!
M: Huh?
Zhao: No one here can compare with me!
M: It's very simple.
Zhao: I have praised it for more than ten years.
Ma: It's not easy! Haha, have you been playing for more than ten years?
Zhao: Ah.
M: I have been playing for more than twenty years.
Zhao: He is better than me. I have the ability to brag now.
M: I have a secret recipe for bragging.
Zhao: I can draw a square into a circle.
M: I can blow the short line into a long line.
Zhao: I can blow the ugly into the beautiful.
Ma: I can blow the dead alive.
Zhao: Hey, you are really something.
Ma: Blow!
Zhao: I tell you, our family is a boastful family.
M: I tell you, our family comes from a boastful family.
Zhao: Our family is a bragging workshop.
M: Our family is a bragging factory.
Zhao: Our family is a bragging company.
Our family is a braggart.
Zhao: Our home is the bragging center of the world.
Man: We ... your center was bombed by our house.
Zhao: Wow! There is no comparison. What a blowjob!
Ma: Blow!
Zhao: No!
Ma: Blow! You lost from the start! Can't you? Let's do it again.
Z: Come on.
M: Let's change it.
Zhao: What's it like?
Ma: Let's blow!
Zhao: What do you mean by blowing around?
Ma: You blow me, I blow you, blow around, the purpose is still to support myself.
Zhao: Wow! There are many tricks to brag about.
M: That's what all boasters do! Come on, blow!
Zhao: Ouch! Comrade Ma Ji. Your cross talk is so good.
M: No, Comrade Zhao Yan! Your cross talk is better than mine.
Zhao: No, no, you can be called a famous master and an authoritative master!
You can't say that. You can be said to be a rising star and a representative of the new trend.
Zhao: Where, where! Your cross talk is elegant but not vulgar.
Ma: Your cross talk is humorous and implicit.
Zhao: Your cross talk is really popular!
Ma: Your cross talk can be said to be a contemporary leader.
Zhao: Your cross talk is a household name, and it is well known to all women and children.
Ma: Your cross talk can be said to be the best in the world's humorous treasure house.
Zhao: Your cross talk is laughing my head off!
Ma: Your cross talk is a complete failure!
Zhao: Huh? Where is the earthquake? Your cross talk plays a great role in society.
Ma: Your cross talk has a good social effect.
Zhao: Last time a factory in the eastern suburbs caught fire, all the city's fire brigades went. It's hopeless! I can't invite you. You stood there talking cross talk and watched the flames slip away, and the bar went out. You are too helpful.
M: OK, my cross talk is responsible for saving people.
Zhao: OK.
Ma: Your cross talk is more useful!
Zhao: Why?
Ma: Wow, that cow in the western suburb dairy farm doesn't produce milk. Later, I found you. You are travel-stained, regardless of fatigue, and you blow on cows!
Zhao: Did it explode?
You guessed it!
Zhao: Hey.
Ma: I said a cross talk, and the touched cow shed milk along her eyes!
Zhao: Look!
Ma: Wow! ……
Zhao: All right! The door here is open! Not only do you speak crosstalk well! Your pen is great!
Your pen is much better than mine!
Zhao: I heard yesterday that you wrote eight articles in one night.
M: I heard that you wrote three screenplays last night.
Zhao: Your Chinese painting is good, too!
M: Your handwriting is really good!
Zhao: Even your Chinese paintings dare not be sold in public.
Your calligraphy ... will not be exported by the customs!
Zhao: Then why?
M: I'm afraid of shame! Ha ha.
Zhao: Does it make sense? You have not only achieved something in literature! You are still an excellent athlete.
M: You ... I'm still an athlete.
Zhao: Look, you don't exercise much, and your figure is round! Transport-movement-"circle".
M: What kind of athlete am I?
Zhao: You are a gymnast.
M: Yes, if I'm not a gymnast, can I have this line?
Zhao: Hey! He also admitted it!
M: Yes!
Zhao: Hey! A few days ago, you made up a set of difficult moves, such as Kimmy and Li Ning, but you can't do it at all.
How did you know?
Zhao: Can you deceive me in sports?
M: Please introduce it to everyone.
Zhao: Say something?
Man: Ah.
Zhao: That set of difficult moves! That's Thomas on the pommel horse spinning around, then jumping on the uneven bars, a Jenny jumping over, making a big one-arm loop on the horizontal bar, finally falling on the carpet, turning 720 degrees, and then pulling out a big brazier from her arms.
M: Oh, you play well!
Zhao: Well, you played it very well!
M: I can't beat you
Zhao: Why?
Ma: You're really a novice at blowing the world.
Zhao: Where, where! Then I can't compare with you, an altar veteran.
Ma: Hey, you are better than blowing!
Zhao: Hey! You are an old hand at blowing horses, one blows two!
You can't say that. You blow behind the Yangtze River and before it!
Zhao: And you are ...? I have nothing to say!
M: Is it over again?
Zhao: Again, again!
Man: Come on, it's different again.
Zhao: What has changed?
Ma: borrow it!
Zhao: What do you mean by borrowing and blowing?
Ma: Praise yourself by someone else's mouth!
Zhao: Good! That's a lot of tricks
Man: Come on!
Zhao: It is impossible to borrow and blow in Ma Ji!
M: Ma Ji?
Zhao: Ah.
Man: Wait a minute! Is Ma Ji here? Where is Ma Ji? Look! Is Ma Ji here?
Zhao: Hey! This braggart can't even find himself! Aren't you Ma Ji?
M: No, I'm not Ma Ji.
Zhao: Who are you?
M: I am nothing.
Zhao: Who are you?
M: I'm Xiao Zhaoyan.
Zhao: Hey, is Zhao Yan small? Then you are "Zhao Yan". Where have I been?
How should I know?
Zhao: Who am I?
Ma: Ouch! You are a respected Mr. Ma Lao.
Zhao: Good! Let's change!
M: Oh, Mr. Ma is really something. You are well-read and versatile. You call it a living encyclopedia. Mr. Ma!
Zhao: This guy blows his own horn with someone else's mouth! No, no, my "Ma Ji" is far worse than your "Zhao Yan". You "declared" that astronomy and geography are everywhere.
You can't say that. My little "Zhao Yan" is a drop in the ocean when she meets you.
Zhao: Where, where! I "Ma Ji" see you stay away!
M: How about that? Is it over again? Here we go again!
Zhao: Come again.
Ma: This time, let's blow the sea and sky.
Zhao: Broad sky?
Ma: Blow if you want.
Zhao: Come on.
You do it.
Zhao: I'll tell you! I'm so capable!
M: What can you do?
Zhao: I can read with my ears. I have great ability.
You didn't ask me what I could do, did you?
Zhao: What are your abilities?
M: I often eat with my nose.
Zhao: Then I can use my armpit to find ore.
Ma: I can generate electricity with my throat.
Zhao: I can see people through the wall.
M: I can see your money through your clothes.
Zhao: I'll be careful! Tell you what! I had a high fever last night!
M: I also had a high fever last night!
Zhao: I have a high fever, which is 67 degrees.
M: I have a high fever of 94 degrees.
Zhao: You are not afraid of being burned to death! "
Ma: Burn it!
Zhao: What a serious burn! Touch a corn kernel in your hand and one hand will turn into popcorn.
M: I burned too much.
Zhao: What's the matter?
M: I woke up when I got up this morning. The quilt burned four big holes!
Zhao: You are burning too much!
Ma: You can burn it.
Zhao: I invited someone to dinner last night!
M: I also invited people to dinner last night!
Zhao: How do I blow it? How can he blow?
Man: Come on!
Zhao: It tastes bad. I swallowed the chopsticks!
Ma: I ate it and it broke! I swallowed the spoon!
Zhao: I'm eating, and it's broken again! I bit off a piece on the plate.
Ma: I ate it and it broke! I'll bite off a piece of the big bowl!
Zhao: I'm eating, and it's broken again! I bit off the table!
M: I'm eating, and it tastes terrible. I bit ... I bit off my nose!
Zhao: Huh? Can you reach it?
Ma: I crossed my feet to bite! Do you care?
Zhao: Does it make sense? I'm telling you! I am a mature young man.
M: I tell you, I am premature.
Zhao: I was admitted to the university at the age of ten.
M: I graduated from college at the age of nine!
Zhao: I got married when I was eight years old!
M: I am seven years old. Our child is thirteen years old.
Zhao: Good! Does it make sense?
M: Bragging is not taxed anyway. No, come on!
Zhao: I tell you, I've had senile plaques since I was six years old!
M: I have tattooed my forehead since I was five years old!
Zhao: I was hunched when I was four years old.
Ma: I've had a beard since I was three years old!
Zhao: I went bald when I was two years old!
M: I was just born, and I have retired!
Zhao: That's beside the point!
Ma: Come on, blow!
Zhao: I tell you, I am tall.
M: I tell you, I am much taller than you.
Zhao: I am 2.69 meters tall.
M: I am 3.69 meters tall.
Zhao: Are you that tall?
Are you that tall?
Zhao: I'm sweating with heat and shivering with cold!
M: I expand when heated and contract when cooled.
Zhao: Then you are not as tall as me. I am as tall as the White Pagoda in Beijing.
M: I'm one head taller than Baita.
Zhao: I am still tall.
M: I'm very high.
Zhao: The plane flew over my waist.
Ma: The satellite hit my foot.
Zhao: I'm tall.
M: I'm very high.
Zhao: My head is blue, and my feet can't be higher on the ground!
M: I ... My upper lip is close to the sky and my lower lip is close to the ground!
Zhao: Huh? ! The upper lip is next to the world and the lip is next to the ground?
Man: Ah!
Zhao: What about your face?
Ma: We are shameless braggadocio.
Zhao: Wow!
On "More" and "Less" Universities
A: Good evening, everyone!
I wish you all happiness, happiness, money and good luck in the new year.
B: I also wish everyone in the new year: less worry, less depression, less illness, and more and more subjects fail-less!
We should talk more about the New Year and the new atmosphere. ...
B: I think it's better to talk less and say less. No matter how much you say, it's much less than what I say.
Are you talking about tongue twisters? ! How's this? Let's make a comparison here, focusing on college life. I'll give you one more sentence.
How about watching less who has nothing to say first?
Cut the crap and get started.
A: There are more and more people falling in love in college.
B: There are fewer and fewer people holding hands when they graduate.
A: Men and women who love each other are talking more and more by telephone.
B: But fewer and fewer people remember to call their parents to say hello.
A: More and more people blindly worship plastic surgery and dye their hair.
B: fewer and fewer people really know what beauty is.
We have more and more extracurricular activities.
B: There are fewer and fewer things that really interest everyone.
A: There are more and more depressed students.
B: That's because their pursuit of higher ideals is getting less and less.
People are taking more and more exams.
B: There are fewer and fewer people who don't cheat in exams.
A: Well, cheating is a bad habit of a few people, but its influence is really bad. Today, in front of the leaders,
In front of the teacher, did you tell me that you cheated in the exam?
I am a famous good student in the whole school. I didn't copy the make-up exam once.
A: You have not surpassed others, not in the examination room, but in the ranking. You didn't surpass others, did you? !
I'm just kidding you. I really didn't cheat in the exam, but once I passed a classroom and someone tested me.
I stood there and watched for a while.
What do you see?
B: I didn't see anything, but I heard a buddy pass by and say something. I almost didn't spray him with diet tea
What did he say?
B: (lowering his voice) Look at it. Clean up one. This guy must be all thumbs and can't use high technology!
A: Hey, isn't this a total loser? ! However, when it comes to high technology, people communicate more and more online.
B: There are fewer and fewer people telling the truth online.
People spend more and more on parties.
B: I hope they know that there is less and less black hair on their parents' heads.
At the party, people drink more and more.
B: After drinking it, you can see that fewer and fewer people can walk upright and understand human language.
A: Not bad. The surprise attack didn't bother you.
B: it's nothing.
A: Then I have to say something more difficult?
Welcome to the toilet door-go ahead!
Where did all this come from? ! Listen, there are more and more professors in some universities.
B: There are fewer and fewer people who can teach.
A: There are more and more doctors.
B: There are fewer and fewer learned people.
A: There are more and more academic books and papers.
What I really write is getting less and less.
Some universities are enrolling more and more students.
B: There are fewer and fewer people who are really qualified.
A: The cost is increasing.
B: There are fewer and fewer reasonable names.
More and more people leave school after graduation.
B: There are fewer and fewer graduation contracts.
A: More and more people are preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination.
B: The admission threshold requires fewer and fewer marks.
A: The number of diplomas is increasing.
B: The gold content of diplomas is getting less and less.
There are more and more courses in the school.
B: There are fewer and fewer outdated and practical ones.
More and more people advocate quality education.
B: There are fewer and fewer people who don't get the scorecard.
A: What you said is a bit extreme. How about we talk about the party tonight?
B: Let's get started.
A: Many leading teachers came to our party in spite of their busy schedules.
B: If I am not mistaken, there are still fewer students than us.
There are many wonderful programs at today's party.
That's still getting less and less.
A: Ah, right, right, right. Our planners, organizers and actors all spent too much time and energy on our party.
It's really painstaking.
Yes, they eat less and sleep less these days. Losing weight is the best!
Hey, see? There are more and more audiences under the stage.
B: Ah, (pause) After listening to our cross talk, there are fewer and fewer people under the stage.
A: It's cold. People are crossing more and more clothes.
Take care of May Day. Girls wear less than boys!
Let me tell you something. Don't be angry.
It's nothing. Go ahead. You are a vegetable at best.
The girl in red over there is much more beautiful than your girlfriend.
B: (looking out) Where? Let me see.
A: (pointing to the back) The boy in the suit in the third row from the bottom is on the left. I know you will open your eyes when I say this.
B: Ah ~ ~, yes, that girl has less youth bean on her face than your girlfriend!
A: As the saying goes, "New Year's Day is coming, can the Spring Festival be far behind?" ? ! "
B: Is there such a saying?
A: I mean, after New Year's Day, it's the Spring Festival. We all want to collect more lucky money as much as you do.
B: Ah, yes, I'm not afraid of more money.
What about yours?
Less, less, less ....................................................................................................................................................................
A: How about that? Stop talking!
Everyone is as careless as you. (press b)
A and B: (Bowing their heads)
Talking about advertising
A: I love cold and hot. I don't know if it will rain on cloudy days. Today, I will tell you a story about a Liangshan hero who came to walk the streets for a day. say .....
B: Stop. What are you doing here?
A: Tell a story.
B: so to speak! Never burn out!
A: I don't want a fire either.
B: If you don't want to get angry, you should learn to play the field and make your voice louder than your waist! If you want to fire me, I'll pack it for free.
A: Hey, my mouth is watering, and a fried chicken leg jumped out-I dare not think of beautiful things.
I have a new idea. Insert some advertisements when you tell a story.
A: Stop it. Do you know that the audience has four major dislikes?
B: What are the four biggest worries?
A: The stalls are on the sidewalk, and the karaoke bars are full of screams at night. Crosstalk doesn't make you laugh, TV dramas are full of advertisements!
B: They didn't insert it cleverly. If I put an advertisement in your storytelling, you will become famous overnight. Tomorrow morning, you will be as famous as a star.
Answer: Synchronize with Dawan.
B: The stars are dazzling. Steal people's eyes and ears
A: Don't be rude.
B: I dare not say that you are a girl's idol.
A: I will also become the vomit of middle-aged and elderly people.
B: What! You also said that you were fighting tigers with martial arts. I stood behind you, and you stopped when I patted you. The first beat continues.
A: ok, just do it once!
A: Words.
B: (clap your hands)
I haven't opened the book yet. Just put an advertisement!
B: Can you be angry without advertisements? -hey! Don't go away after the advertisement, whose storytelling is the best, please see the super handsome talent! (patting nails)
A: Speaking of Wu Erlang, when he came to yanggu county scenery that day, he saw a pub with five big characters written on it.
B: (A) Northland nightclub, with excellent facilities and first-class service. You enjoy glitz and dancing. Welcome to Northland Nightclub! (patting nails)
Where did I say?
B: Five big characters.
Yes, the flag says five-Northland Nightclubs.
B: Ah! This Song Wu is still everywhere!
A: It's three bowls!
B: That's right.
Song Wu walked into the store and shouted. Is there anything delicious in the shop that can fill my stomach? Guest, this is the best beef in our restaurant. Please taste it.
B: (Shoot a) Choose beef, pepper and ingredients. Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (patting nails)
This Song Wu is joking with Xiangpo.
Ah! This Song Wu also knows Xiangpo!
While eating beef, Song Wu said, Boss, bring the wine! Xiao er hurriedly brought wine, and the room was full of fragrance. Song Wu knocked on the wine bowl.
B: (Pat A) China people drink XO(Pat A) from China.
Song Wu drank bowl after bowl.
B: (patting his nails) Drink Guiyuan Shenbao. He is kind to me. (patting nails)
Elaine has already done eighteen bowls. Song Wu's face is slightly red.
B: (patting A) What's the matter, man? Cook it.
A: Nothing. I have a cold and a fever.
I have a knack for colds and fever. Let's be on the hour. (patting nails)
This song Wu! (A is knocked down by B) Are you hitting Song Wu's tiger or me!
B: Hey! It's impossible without advertisements. How should I package you?
I know what you mean, but it's art. On behalf of my family, I ask you to ask Song Wu to kill the tiger first!
B: Well, there were no advertisements before the tiger fight!
A: OK, Song Wu raised his post and went straight to Jingyanggang. After walking about four or five miles, Song Wu felt tired and uncomfortable.
B: (Pat A) I always feel sick for a few days every month.
You are such a mess. Wasn't there an advertisement before the tiger fight?
B: Ouch! Forgot!
A: There is a big bluestone not far ahead. Song Wu fell asleep when he passed by, and suddenly a strong wind blew into his ear. A gorgeous tiger appeared in the Woods. The head of this tiger has a copper eye. Open your mouth and show your teeth, Kouga. Good teeth, hey, good appetite, great figure and good taste. ............
What's the matter with you?
I fell into a ditch.
A: Song Wu grabbed the skin of the tiger and hit it with his fist. Tiger! Go to die and live. Come on, come on, come on
B: (Clap your hands A) I'll let you talk, let you talk. I can't tell you anything, but I know Rongchang Kangtai, which treats hemorrhoids by sticking navel, and specializes in treating mixed hemorrhoids of internal hemorrhoids and external hemorrhoids. It is a good blessing to have it!
A: Go to ...