Our social development is becoming more and more diversified, and various values can coexist harmoniously in the same dimension. For example, bachelors flaunt long live freedom, and some unmarried people are afraid of besieged marriages.
It is understandable that everyone chooses what kind of lifestyle, which is the freedom of choice in modern society, but I know that except for a few people, most secular men and women are still eager for married life, eager for someone to love and someone to care about.
The recent hit drama "My First Half Life" gives us different marriage survival modes, namely, the marriage status of the heroine Luo Zijun, her mother and her sister, which deserves our reflection.
In the play, Luo Zijun's mother divorced in her early years, took her two daughters to make a living, and finally brought them up and got married. Mother Luo, who thought she had a happy old age, didn't know that her two daughters' marriage had been riddled with holes.
Many people say that the family environment plays a key role in children's growth. Children who live in happy families are certainly more likely to be happy when they grow up than children from single-parent families.
This sentence has been well reflected in the married life of Luo Zijun's mother and daughter, and what we have to do is to get a glimpse of more truth about life from TV dramas and wake ourselves up to be a good example for our children to come from families.
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Let's analyze Luo's mother's marriage first. Although there is not much description about her married life in the play, from her words, we can know that Luo Zijun's father is love rat who abandoned his wife.
According to the time calculation, it should have happened in the early 1980s. Imagine that at that time, when the whole country was tightening their belts, a man abandoned his wife and children and left smartly.
This is the typical image of an irresponsible man. For whatever reason, since a man has a family and children, he should take the responsibility of supporting his family, but this love rat patted his ass and left.
Such a difficult life has greatly changed Luo's character. Judging from her attitude of looking for a rich old man to support the elderly, life has polished her to be sophisticated and smart, knowing that money is a good thing and only money can bring her a sense of security.
Mother Luo has always believed that a woman's best destination is to find a good man and make herself worry-free. This is why she always holds Luo Zijun's husband and often curses Luo Ziqun's husband, because the former can make money and the latter only knows how to be lazy.
Even if Luo Zijun divorced because of her husband's infidelity, what Luo's mother could think of was to persuade Luo Zijun to find another rich man, rather than to persuade Luo Zijun to learn to grow up independently. This is the vision and education that mother Luo can give her daughter.
Therefore, the misfortune of Luo's mother's marriage directly affects the marital happiness of her two daughters. Although Luo Ziqun's husband is not motivated, as a mother-in-law, he divorces his daughter in front of others every day and finds a rich man. Who is not anxious?
This is also the performance of Luo's mother's low emotional intelligence. She was dissatisfied with Luo Ziqun's husband and actually fought directly. Even if she loves and protects her daughter, this is extremely inappropriate.
It is precisely because of the misfortune of mother Luo's own marriage life that her values deviate from the normal track, thus affecting the marriage happiness of her two daughters. Even if the two daughters are completely different versions of the marriage, the final result is the same.
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Luo Zijun, the eldest daughter, married Chen after graduating from college and lived a happy life as a rich woman. Children are brought by nannies, housework is done by nannies, and even shopping malls are carried by nannies. This is also the happiest married life in the eyes of mother Luo.
But the reality is that slapping is really a slap in the face. Luo Zijun cheated and divorced. What was mother Luo's first reaction when she learned the truth? She went to Chen's company to make trouble. This is a typical manifestation of low emotional intelligence.
Does she think quarrelling with her son-in-law can change her mind? One meter can't regenerate one meter. Mother Luo put on a smiling face, cooked a good dish, called Chen home for dinner, and tried to persuade Chen to go back and continue to live with Luo Zijun.
However, Chen, who had made up his mind, didn't take summer-planting at all, which made Luo's mother even more angry. Luo Zijun's cowardice during the divorce was completely influenced by her mother, because she didn't know what to do at all.
We don't deny that mother Luo loves her daughter, but the way she loves her daughter is not good. In her mind, finding a rich and nice man to marry is for the good of her daughter, so she smiles so obsequiously when pursuing Luo Zijun's old money.
The most important confidence of a woman is independence. You can enjoy the comfortable life provided by men, but you can't lose the ability to live independently. This is what every woman should know.
Under the influence of his mother, Luo Zijun only thinks that a man can sit back and relax even after graduating from college, but he doesn't know that he can't even work as a clerk after being abandoned for a day.
Luo Zijun is a typical attached man. She listened to her mother and found a rich man to lean on. After all, she was abandoned by this "dependence" in her thirties, which shows that relying on men is not reliable.
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Luo Zijun's younger sister, Luo Ziqun, has a completely different marriage mode from her. Luo Ziqun has a strong mentality of protecting the weak. She thinks that her husband can't live without her, which is also influenced by her mother.
Living in the shadow of his mother's talons and often ridiculed by his sister, Luo Ziqun had to find his own value in her husband, that is, her husband had to rely on her to support himself.
Although her husband is a lazy and incompetent man in the eyes of ordinary people, Luo Ziqun is willing to raise her and her son. Even if he reaches out to his sister for money, he will raise this man.
Luo's mother has always been dissatisfied with Luo Ziqun's husband Bai Guang. She is not satisfied with running face to face, or even reaching out. The reason is that this man is a drag on his daughter. He can't earn money and support his family.
Luo Ziqun wants to do the right thing with his mother, preferring to work hard and raise this man, that is, to subconsciously fight against his mother and sister and prove that he is capable and can support his own man. Is he great?
However, this man is a pool of mud and can't help the wall. He suspected that Luo Ziqun wanted to find a rich man. He scolded Luo Ziqun and his mother to fuck off. After all, he made Luo Ziqun cold and determined to divorce. The man cried and knelt down and said not to divorce.
The couple's mode of getting along is also intoxicating. There are few such couples in real life, but that doesn't mean there are no such couples. After all, some people still find a sense of existence between each other.
Luo Ziqun is a typical example of attachment to men. She thought that a man who depended on her to raise him would be good to her and her children. Unexpectedly, this man would only scold him with his mouth open and hit him with his hand. Where can he thank his wife who has worked hard to support his family?
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Mother Luo's own marriage is also unfortunate, so she expects her two daughters to have a happy marriage. She listened to her words and found the eldest daughter of a rich man who cheated on her and divorced. She didn't listen to him and found the little daughter of a gangster who was scolded by love rat, but things didn't develop as she hoped.
Every child has more or less the appearance of being from a family, and even many times, without our own awareness, we will run away along the life track of the previous generation.
With the help of good friends, Luo Zijun finally stood up, found a job to earn money and began to support himself and his son, and began to get rid of the influence brought by his mother, even though Luo's mother kept chanting for Luo Zijun to find a richer man from time to time.
Only with economic independence can we have more possibilities of independence, and each of us should have such independent consciousness and ability to have a passport to a happy life.
Luo's mother is like this, and Luo Zijun and Luo Ziqun's sisters should be like this. Not attaching to men, not attaching to men, is the attitude towards life that modern independent women should have.