Courage is not the absence of fear but the victory over fear.
I discovered this sentence in a subway station in Guangzhou. Every time I pass by the stairs when I get off the platform, I will find these luminous words on posters stuck to the wall. , I would stop and read it carefully many times.
This is really heart-breaking and amazing. I have always believed that so-called courage is either an innate advantage, or it is having self-confidence and being certain of one's own abilities that can lead to such courage. If I hadn't seen these lines, how long would it have taken me to realize that courage is not innate, but the courage that can be cultivated by overcoming the panic and fear in the mind.
Looking back, for the first time in so many years, I realized that overcoming courage also requires forcing yourself. If you don't have the idea to take the first step, you can only stand still. First of all, you will set a label for yourself as "you don't have the courage to do it." Lack of self-confidence, timidity, fear, I know I can't control these, but I haven't thought about changing anything. I already regard "lack of courage" as a difficulty in life, and no one has ever taught me how to deal with it. And overcome, so that there are many things in life that can be obtained through competition, but because we only have ideas but are timid and do not do them, we often regret it again and again.
This idea of ??"my instinct" just stayed in my mind, but I didn't know that fear had become a stumbling block on my way.
This is a very sad thing.
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Not long after the university started, my first-semester courses were almost all public classes, and more than a hundred people attended each class in the lecture theater. After a period of time, in order to better manage us and assist students with trivial matters in life and study, the counselors of each class began to recruit people and asked to select a few students from more than 100 people as class assistants. Then, after a certain class, I brought up the idea of ??running for class assistant. So I was excited at first, but I needed to go on stage among more than a hundred people to give a simple self-introduction and basic reasons for running. This was what I was particularly afraid of. How frightened was it? My heartbeat is racing, my palms are sweaty, my hands and feet are cold, I need to go to the toilet, and in severe cases, my stomach hurts... In short, it's fear. I'm afraid that I can't control it and don't dare to show up in front of so many people. What should I do? But I wanted to show off again. Seeing that the expressions of the previous students were good, I was worried that I would be incoherent, awkward, and uncomfortable in various ways. Finally, I stood up. Yes, I was pushed out by several classmates next to me. I simply stood up first. The next thing I knew I couldn't sit back, so I strode towards the podium.
I introduced myself in a special way. I usually speak very fast at that moment, so I clarified my thoughts and even had an outline of my speech in my mind.
Among several candidates, I was elected with the third place vote. Actually, I wasn’t surprised at all. It was expected. Besides, my performance on the podium that day was still very good. I should have been trusted and liked by quite a few people. I am more confident about my performance than when I took the step out. Also sure.
No wonder the old people often say, take the first step, and then you will know what to do.
So what should we do to take the first step? This is the above-mentioned overcoming fear, take a deep breath, have a dialogue and encouragement with yourself first, give yourself confidence, since you want to get it, then you have to pay, put aside the bad factors, imagine what if you get it Will this thing make you a special person? Someone you admire? No need to think too much, just enough. Secondly, it is action. Having an idea means that you are moved. To put it bluntly, action is worse than being moved. Then start, stand up, or step out, or speak. After completing this series, you will find that you are not afraid of expressing. It's about being unable to break through the heart of fear. I am a good example of a negative example. I have always been someone who dare not say hello to others. It’s not that I don’t know what to say, but I just don’t dare to speak. This is due to timidity. When I try to look up at the other person, Even if it's just a smile and a nod, that'll do the trick.
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Everyone who seems to be brave is not afraid. It is because of fear that they have learned to overcome themselves and are worthy of the word courage.
In order to make myself brave, I tried every means to show myself. Mock interviews in the room, simulate classes, simulate everything that can be said, let yourself talk to yourself, start from the heart, and truly have courage.
We are not people without the ability to speak. It is precisely because of fear that we have no choice but to not express ourselves and prevent our ideas from being realized. When we have this awareness, we have to change, even from a small matter. Just start, even if you take the initiative to speak at the class meeting, only when you start can you keep moving forward.
In the calligraphy class last semester, we had a calligraphy star competition. In addition to writing beautiful words, we also had to persist in class... But in addition to writing better, I also ran away when I was in a bad mood. I've had several classes. When our president said there were still a few places left, I still had the idea of ??running for the election. I wanted to try everything I liked, and I also understood that striving for small things over and over again is valuable. .
Because I liked this energy, I went on stage to express my thoughts. Voted, didn't get elected. But I am happy. I am happy to think that I am one step further away from cowardice and fear.
Do you think so too? As is the case with all things, what you lose must be what you gain.
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Another time, during the winter vacation, I met the operator of a public account because of it, and later entered a story group created by the operator. The group owner stipulated Each week, one person will be asked to share a few stories. You can chat with him privately and let him tell it, or you can take the initiative to tell it yourself. During a chat with the group leader, I was invited by him to be the story sharer for that week. Of course, I was scared and excited. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to tell the story well and how to start. I didn’t dare to start anything. I explained this to the group leader clearly. After thinking about it, he said something that I will never forget, since you are afraid, why don't you change?
Change? How to change? He went on to say, start from sharing your story this time and act boldly. In my nervousness, I agreed to be the story sharer for that issue.
In the evening, the group owner sent a window link, and I successfully entered the main window for sharing stories. Then it started, and then I listened to the group owner’s suggestion to share it by voice. At first, I was panicking inside. Just kidding, how could I pronounce the voice with a rough voice? I was afraid that I would dislike myself.
Still posted.
After it ended, the group leader asked me, am I still scared? I laughed and said, it didn’t feel like it happened, but I admired myself very much. He said that's right. You have to overcome it so you won't be afraid. In the future, when you enter society, you will have more opportunities to speak and express yourself. If you don't change, it will be difficult to adapt to society. Well, that's probably what it means.
During the growth process of everyone, they will lose a lot of things that they can instinctively obtain because they have no courage. We humans are constantly crawling forward in order to make ourselves brave people in life. If we all avoid In the shell of timidity, it may be difficult to step out and see that there is actually a better version of yourself.
To overcome fear is to overcome yourself. Our biggest enemy is not ourselves, but our shortcomings. If your shortcoming is a lack of courage, then the only thing we can do is to defeat it in order to have more possibilities.
And whether we have courage or not will be accompanied by the results we see when we complete everything.
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Just like what Deng Chao said when interviewing a female classmate in "Chinese Partner": Courage is resisting fear and grasping fear, not the absence of fear; also as in Huang Xiaoming said the same thing: There are always more important things that give us the courage to defeat fear. This is for you and for myself.
I hope we can all overcome our fears and see ourselves as better than before.