But inevitably, we always have to experience the departure of our loved ones again and again.
When I can't see my relatives' voices and smiles anymore, I can only mourn for the things he used, the books he read, the letters he wrote and the clothes he wore. ...
What would you do if you were asked to sort out your relics?
Are you afraid to face and touch the grief that cannot be solved? Or will it be cleaned and carefully kept?
In fact, these relics can not only entrust their thoughts, but you may not notice that if put together, these ordinary relics are the rich life of the deceased.
So, in order to let people know their loved ones again, 27-year-old Jiang Tian founded her first relic sorting company.
Cross your hands, bow and bless. ...
This is the most basic ceremony before her introduction to show her respect.
Quickly confirm the location of valuables, classify and pack them and return them to the families of the deceased.
While dismantling the handmade bookshelf, he murmured, "I think the master must be a skilled carpenter!" " "
"He also likes cats very much. If he is still alive, we will get along well. " Open the pet loyalty card in the corner, and the voice and smile of the deceased will emerge in Jiangtian's mind.
By touching the traces of life left by her hands, she met more than 100 stories of the dead in two years.
The 95-year-old man who lives alone keeps an unsent love letter, the young man who died young keeps a pencil bought by his father when he was a child, and the mother who runs away from home keeps a diary that she never reveals. ...
In these unsuccessful wishes, she saw that the most difficult thing in life is to reconcile with herself.
Walk into the home of 95-year-old Ms. Jing Hui.
Collapsed wardrobes, scrapped televisions ... are all "useless things" that refuse to give up.
Jiang Tian spent three days counting all the relics.
She is a stubborn, paranoid and arrogant antique in the eyes of her niece.
My brother's sister has a bad temper and can't communicate at all.
Unmarried all his life, living alone in the suburbs in his later years, nobody cares.
"But people still have something to recommend!" Jiang Tian thinks.
The collapsed bookcase is full of awards, calligraphy works and thank-you letters.
Open the paper on the surface and look, "She is such a famous calligraphy teacher."
There is also an unsent letter in the copybook.
"I am grateful for my care when I am sick and my support in calligraphy ... I wish to be married in the afterlife", and the shyness and affection between the lines are unprecedented in my family.
In fact, Ms. Jing Hui, who has never been married in her life, has already taken a heart. However, her infatuation and persistence are "lonely and helpless" in the eyes of others.
Childless and childless, she is taken care of by her brother and sister.
But in order not to disturb the joy of others' "children and grandchildren", she insisted on moving to the suburbs alone for 20 years. ...
"Although stubborn and irritable, there is still such a gentle place in my heart!" After reading the letter, my brother took off his glasses and sighed.
American sociologist Bryn Brown shared this view in her ted talk:
"The biggest obstacle between people is that they are not worthy of this relationship. However, if you want to have a relationship, you must let yourself be seen. "
Their contradictions before their death were all built in each other's hearts and finally resolved at the moment when they returned their relics after their death.
If possible, please don't let reconciliation come too late.
But if we can't be kind to ourselves, we can't really reconcile with others.
When Ms. Jinghui was depressed, she began to write and practice calligraphy until her mood was stable. Those "unsatisfied" dissatisfaction and anger are also gently reconciled in one stroke. ...
These relics are left by her deep affection for herself and attachment to the people around her.
Just living alone all the year round, I broke the chance to say goodbye to them, and the relic told the truth for her.
My niece, who was going to throw away all her relics, couldn't help crying when she saw this framed work.
"I remember when I was a child, she went out to play behind my back, helped the whole family arrange dinner, and took care of her younger siblings to sleep in the middle of the night ... I remember all these bits and pieces."
When you see this word, you can think of her serene and firm appearance when practicing calligraphy every day. "So there she is, keep looking at us!" "
The relics carry our unsuccessful wishes and reach a second reconciliation with this "human world".
The hardest thing for people is to reconcile with themselves! The hardest thing is not to face your own vulnerability.
Even before he became a relic organizer, Jiangtian's own life was full of setbacks.
She loves sports in high school and is bent on becoming a sports coach.
Unexpectedly, my mother left unexpectedly because of illness.
Under the pressure of taking care of mother and housework, I also failed the exam.
During college, without family support, she had to work in a fast food restaurant to earn living expenses and tuition.
After graduation 100 many job seekers failed and finally got a "nursing" job.
"I can never agree with my work and life!" A year later, she returned to the fast food restaurant to do odd jobs.
"Yesterday was a youthful look. How can I reach 30 in an instant? What am I suitable for now? "
One step wrong, one step wrong! Jiang Tian is confused and afraid, and often collapses at night.
In the memory of touching objects, Jiang Tian's heart changed a little.
After leaving the woman's bedside carelessly, she found a diary about her husband's memories.
It contains feelings that have been poured out for many years, melting the cold heart of mother.
In the dowry box of the runaway mother, there are neatly collected photos of the girl and a stack of letters from home.
Finally, it passed through her hand and returned to her daughter's hand.
There are also elderly people who live alone and have a bad relationship with their sons.
My home is a mess, but I cherish my wife's photo and my son's report card as my sustenance when I am lonely at night.
She gradually discovered: they are like themselves! Everyone has unspeakable hidden pain, and they are silently suffering.
"I am lucky to feel this fragility and see the hope behind my desire to connect."
Thich nhat hanh once wrote in "Reconciliation with Yourself":
"Let us pain, the in the mind also have pain. He hasn't learned how to deal with pain, so he has been suffering and making others suffer. "
Talking about other people's pain is also healing his own heart. Jiang Tian gradually put down his perfect self and got his true self.
It turns out that fragility is the root of self-worth struggle and the source of happiness, belonging and love!
When asked about her approval of this job, she thanked God for choosing me to do this job.
Learning to coexist with vulnerability is the first step of self-reconciliation, but it is more important to establish a connection!
"Sorting out relics is not only to learn the skills and spiritual communication of relics, but also to re-establish contact with the deceased and their families." Jiang Tian said firmly.
I remember the first time I received a decoration commission, it was a man's house in his forties.
She found it in the corner of the bed, the racing newspaper and the small red pencil.
Seeing that her father was depressed, she handed the tattered red pencil.
"Isn't this the pencil your son used? ? "
"Yes, my son likes horse racing very much!"
The father's face suddenly became radiant, constantly revealing many memories about his son.
This made Jiang Tian more certain: "I am not alone, and people are closely linked."
So she was willing to drive thousands of miles to return the relics.
Willing to sacrifice rest time to listen to family members' thoughts.
I am willing to give a speech in the community every weekend, hoping that more people can participate in the "relics arrangement".
Willing to go to the nursing home to teach the old people to do prenatal care, find the most important things and live a good life around them.
As American psychologist Rogers said, "The real cure comes from real understanding".
It's easy to throw away cultural relics as garbage. If you don't understand and accept them, who wants to listen to the story behind "garbage"?
Perhaps this job is just synonymous with "cleaning up" in others' eyes, but in Jiangtian's eyes, relics carry life.
And she is also willing to be a person who understands the concerns of the deceased and conveys her wishes.
2 years, 3,000 relics, and a gentle dialogue with more than 100 dead people.
Facing the past, Jiang Tian cured the angry child.
And in the face of the future, her heart has been convinced that:
Although I left alone with regret in the end, I left proof of my existence:
They are all true and brave people, and they all live a hard life!
"There is only one life, and you must live desperately every day."
What a simple wish, but let her cherish her every day more and more.
Because, every moment of the moment is birth and death.
As the Persian poet Omar Jiayin said in "Rubaiya", "Drink to your heart's content, and tomorrow the pottery union will make a pottery pot out of your body and clay."
I hope you can also be your own "life organizer", not thinking about the past, not afraid of the future, and not living up to the present.
Typesetting: Qi Ran
Editor in charge: Huncui
Internship Editor: Lao Ni
Proofreading: old mud
About the author: Li. Let's talk about it first-"Please accept my sister" editor, a writing student at the firewood cutting college.