184 1 March, the British invaded Guangzhou, and the Qing general Yang Fang used the women's toilet to defend the enemy. This matter was introduced in the last article.
Not long after, the British army went north along the coast and arrived in Zhejiang. Soon, Dinghai (now Zhoushan Islands) and Zhenhai (now Ningbo) were quickly captured.
The civil and military officials in the Qing Dynasty began to explain to Daoguang and analyze the reasons for the failure. Some people say that the southern soldiers are timid and scared by the British, so they have to send the northern soldiers. Some people say that China is not prepared for layers of defense, otherwise the British can't get in. Some people say that China's army should concentrate on tracking and surrounding foreign ghosts, and so on.
No one can realize the gap between scientific and technological civilization in the civil and military affairs of Manchu Dynasty.
Daoguang is also a silly emperor, and has been kept in the dark by China's official false reports. Daoguang thinks that we can't be bullied by foreigners all the time. We should fight back and have a big fight!
Daoguang pinned his dream of fighting back on a man named Yijing.
Yijing is the great-grandson of Qianlong and the nephew of Daoguang. At that time, it was the official department minister, equivalent to the head of the Central Organization Department of Daqing. I ching is a good calligrapher, but he is still a primary school student in governing the country. Fei Zhengqing commented on the Book of Changes in the History of China in the Late Qing Dynasty in Cambridge: "This man is an outstanding calligrapher and good at writing articles, but his military experience is mainly limited to the management of the imperial garden and hunting grounds."
Teacher Fei is still very humorous.
People like I ching can take care of flowers, plants, birds and animals. Let him really come to the battlefield to lead troops to fight ... we can sit and watch the drama.
Daoguang gave Yijing the title of "General Yangwei" and sent him to Zhejiang to lead the war. By rights, time is tight. But when I arrived in Suzhou, I was immediately fascinated by the gentleness and wealth of Jiangnan. According to folk records, Yijing stayed in Suzhou for dozens of days, making love with women every day, drinking, smoking and playing cards, and taking bribes for money. At that time, the county magistrate of Wuxian held 80 tables of banquets every day to entertain the Book of Changes, which was expensive, and as long as the Book of Changes was slightly uncomfortable, he immediately slammed the table and kicked the stool to insult the county magistrate. Wuxian county magistrate was finally forced to death by the arrogance of the Book of Changes.
It can be seen that I ching is also an out-and-out bureaucrat. Although he has no virtue and incompetence, he is greedy and can play.
All passers-by urged him to go to Zhejiang, and it was not until three months later,1February, 842, that Yijing arrived in Hangzhou. When I arrived in Hangzhou, the first thing I did was not to rearm and train soldiers, but to hold an essay contest. What's the significance of holding an essay contest? I ching said to the contestants, "I will only have one result this time, and that is victory." If we don't come up with a proposition in this essay contest, you can write about my upcoming victory and see whose victory report is well written! "
The Book of Changes finally selected an article that described the battle best and praised the leading officials best, and won the first prize.
Don't be surprised, these stupid and arrogant people and things only happened 150 years ago.
I have chosen all the compositions of the Book of Changes. What if we really fight? On that day, I ching, who had no military talent, suddenly had a dream that a hurricane blew over the sea, which blew down all the British warships, and both the British and foreigners fell into the sea and were wiped out.
The Book of Changes woke up, convinced that God was helping me and teaching him tricks. The Book of Changes believes that the hurricane at sea must be the result of the struggle between the dragon and the tiger. The dragon king is in the sea. Just throw a tiger into the sea and let the dragon king and the tiger king fight, and the hurricane will come.
After searching for the Book of Changes for several days, I finally found a pair of tiger skulls in the home of an old Orion in Huzhou, sent someone to take them away and threw them into the sea at the mouth of Qiantang River, waiting for the dragon and tiger to fight a hurricane.
As a result, I ching waited day after day, but the hurricane didn't come.
I have heard that the Guandi Temple in the West Lake is very clever, so I went to Guandi Temple to ask for a visa. What I signed was a poem: "Who dares to keep the family safe before the tigers crow?"
I ching and a group of people began to wonder what this sentence meant. Some people say that tigers eat sheep, and sheep are foreign. As long as we dress up as tigers, we can beat foreigners.
The Book of Changes is overjoyed. Well, let's turn a soldier into a tiger. Yijing found someone to make a batch of tiger hats, and every soldier wore one, so the Qing soldiers dressed up as tigers.
Bingham, an Englishman, described the bodies of the Qing soldiers he saw in "The Battle of the British in China" like this: "Their hats have a special appearance, made of tiger skin with a tiger tail hanging behind them."
How many tigers were killed indirectly by a brand required by the Book of Changes.
All right, the equipment is ready. When shall we fight back? People in China pay attention to the weather, so it is very important to find the most auspicious time. This time is set at 4 pm on March 1842.
Why? Because among the twelve branches, Yin belongs to the tiger. 1842 is the year of Renyin, and March is the month of Wuyin. This day is the 29th day of the first lunar month, the 29th is Wuyin Day, and the 4th is Jiayin Time.
In a word, this day is the Year of the Tiger. Yi Jing was uneasy, and Duan Yongfu, the general of Anyi, born in the Year of the Tiger, was ordered to take charge of the military forces.
At 4 o'clock that night, I Ching led an army to attack the British army. People ready to recover Ningbo, but on the way by the British counterattack, all the way back, make a comeback.
Another group of people prepared to recover Zhenhai, but the city gate could not rush in, so they retreated all the way back.
The people on the waterway are going to recover Zhoushan. As a result, many soldiers on the ship never boarded the ship at all. Just set sail, everyone vomited and diarrhea, did nothing but sway for more than 20 days and came back.
I didn't expect that the tiger army I worked so hard to build died worse than a three-legged cat.
The Book of Changes shows that tigers are useless. what should he do ？ He developed the tactical creativity of China people and thought of another animal-the monkey.
There is a man named Zhang Yingyun in the Book of Changes, who was stationed in Caoejiang at that time. Zhang Shuai thinks that the quality of gunpowder in Britain is good, and the content of nitrosulfonic acid is n times that of China, which is very violent. These gunpowder are hidden at the bottom of the British cabin. If only we could find a way to detonate it directly in the British cabin.
In what way? Some people say it's easy. We use monkeys, tie fireworks to their backs, light them and throw them on British ships. Monkeys are running around, and sparks are flying. As long as a spark touches gunpowder and explodes instantly, the British army will be reduced to ashes.
I ching and Zhang Shuai praised them in succession. So Zhang Shuai quickly sent someone to buy 19 monkeys, really set off firecrackers for each monkey, and took it to Camel Bridge in Ningbo, ready to detonate British gunpowder.
However, the monkeys are ready, and a new question comes: how did these monkeys get to the English ship?
I ching and Zhang daren have forgotten this question, which sounds tempting, but how to operate it? Who can put this 19 monkey on the British ship?
Yi Jing and his gang didn't figure out a way from beginning to end. The British army didn't wait, but directly led the troops to fight Yi Jing back. I ching's counterattack was a complete failure.
The most pitiful thing is these 19 monkeys, because they all escaped and no one took care of them, and finally they all starved to death.
An American historian commented on this monkey commando in The Opium War: The Addiction of One Empire and the Fall of Another Empire, saying, "If this scene really happens, it will be the reappearance of The Wizard of Oz."
When I was a child, I heard a song "Monkey Brother, Monkey Brother, you are really amazing", thinking that monkeys can work miracles and turn over English ships with one somersault. Finally, I found out that even Monkey Brother couldn't save him from ignorance and arrogance, let alone the ignorant and arrogant youth.