In Shaanxi, I bought Fuwa painted by Tang Bohu and "One World, One Dream" written by Wang Xizhi.
Actor's lines
Guo: Thank you, thank you for your applause.
Y: applause from two people on the stage and one person from you.
Guo: I'll shoot it for you again (applause). Thank you again for your applause. I'm so happy to say it. I'm just kidding.
Yes
Guo: My brother and I have been working together for six years. If Degang Guo has achieved so much, it is entirely because of myself (Yu Qian) and my own efforts.
Y: I want to discuss something with you. If you don't want to introduce me in the future, don't compare with me, ok?
Guo: I'm not finished yet.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: A single filament does not make a line, and a single tree does not make a forest. How many nails are full? Can we have today without the help of others?
Y: I dare not.
Guo: I want to thank my wife, who helped me make use of a treasure house in Shanghai.
Y: Is there me here or not?
Guo: I have you.
Y: Hey, tell me about me.
Guo: Without you.
Y: A。
Guo: I have long been popular.
Y: Ah, I've been confused, haven't I?
Guo: Are you kidding?
Y: Just kidding.
Guo: Where did I leave you?
Yes
Guo: In cross talk, I am the A.
Y: Hey, I'm the best,
Guo: Just kidding.
Y: I am the champion.
Guo: For example, I am a star in the sky.
Y: and I am?
Guo: I am the sun.
Y: You said it again.
Guo: If I say insulin,
Y: what about me?
Guo: Your blood sugar is on the high side.
Y: There is such a big competition.
Guo: If I am Pleasant Goat, you are Big Wolf.
Y: All the cartoons have come out.
Guo: This is; & gt
Y: what about me?
Guo:>
Two movies.
Guo: If I am an orange in Guangyuan, you are Sanlu's milk.
Y: I can't sell it.
Guo: If I were.
Y: Oh, I'm not Cecilia Cheung.
Guo: You are your son. Your name is uncle.
Y: There is no such metaphor.
Guo: Tell a few jokes.
Y: A。
Guo: If you don't talk, you won't laugh, you won't be lively, and Li Er won't smile crooked.
Yu: Tullier
Guo: Just smile.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: Eliminate all the depression in people's hearts.
Y: Let it be.
Guo: Well, actually, to tell the truth.
Y: A。
Guo: I have a question I especially want to ask my teacher.
Y: ask me?
Guo: I'm afraid you're not happy.
Y: Then what's the matter?
Guo: The level is limited.
Y: that's all right.
Guo: I have a cold. Let me ask you a question.
Y: oh.
Guo: Should I take the liberty?
Y: hey.
Guo: Let me ask you a question.
Y: you said
Guo: Hehe, you (ahem), you are under great pressure.
Y: Can we cut the crap? Are you playing dumb and swearing?
Guo: Oh? Shanghai people also know this?
Y: nonsense! Now promote putonghua.
K: Oh, I'm sorry. Speak some Beijing dialect and solve the case.
Y: There is no such problem.
Guo: Are you under pressure?
Y: there must be.
Guo: Tell me about it.
Y: Well, for example, you have to publish a new book next to it every year.
Guo: Well, there is some pressure.
Y: Whether the audience accepts or not after the work comes out is another pressure.
Guo: It's true. How uncomfortable are these pressures? You have to work hard. You say these unhappy things, which makes us very happy.
Y: What kind of mentality? Le Er, right?
Guo: No, we are in the same boat.
Y: You too?
Guo: No one understands. Look at the platform Oh, it's dazzling, laughing and cursing.
Yes
Guo: It's all pressure.
Y: Everyone is under pressure.
Guo: Oh, well said, the audience scolded the street, well said, the peers scolded the street.
You are totally cursing the street.
Guo: It's easy to become popular, and a bunch of shameless people sue you.
Oh, great, you made it.
Guo: It's all about things. Fortunately, you are a good actor, thinking of the people.
Yu: I also think of the people.
Guo: You stand here and say cross talk. I hope everyone likes you.
Y: it's all like this.
Guo: There is still a gap between you and mainstream actors.
Y: Am I different from them?
Guo: Yes, you live on box office income.
Y: that's right.
Guo: The mainstream actors are genetically modified.
Y: Wow, actors are genetically modified, too.
Guo: You are different from them.
Y: There is a difference.
Guo: It's a good life.
Y: hey.
Guo: Go your own way.
Yes
Guo: To tell you the truth, I am also under great pressure. I am a strong person.
Y: I can see that
Guo: I have done a lot of work.
Y: oh.
Guo: None of them are very satisfied.
What did you do?
Guo: Hey, it's a long story. Sometimes I feel like I can't hold it in my stomach.
Y: I also said.
Guo: I am under great pressure. I am very strong. I really want to show my value. I especially hope that everyone can help me and give me a love. I'll return your one-night stand.
Y: nonsense.
Guo: Wrong.
Y: Isn't that right? You can't talk nonsense like that.
Guo: It's me ... Help me. I'm under too much pressure. How many setbacks have I encountered in these years? Fortunately, I have always been strong inside.
Y: that's all right.
Guo: Lie down if you fall.
Y: I haven't got up since then. I fell down. I can get up from where I fell.
Guo: Where you fall, you fall and get up.
Y: Dad, get up again? Can you use anyone arrested here?
Guo: Get up from where you fell.
Y: I made myself clear.
Guo: Sometimes I can't sleep all night. Alas, I dreamed of trekking to climb the Himalayas.
Y: I'm tired
Guo: Climb Mount Everest.
Yu: the highest
Guo: Climb Mount Everest step by step. "How can I go down? ! "
Y: Your dream is really realistic.
Guo: Thank you for your encouragement. Well, I'm a restaurant.
Y: Oh, I've also done catering.
Guo: Open a restaurant.
Y: oh.
Guo: The hotel is called Qin Hang.
Yes
Guo: Not if you are not diligent.
Y: right.
Guo: How difficult is it? Why does the whole family go to your house for dinner?
Y: it must be distinctive.
Guo: I was ambitious at that time. I want to be a leader in the catering industry.
Y: it's too idealistic.
Guo: I will be Guo Laoda in the future. The hotel I run is called "Guo Laoda Hotel".
Y: It's really hard to say.
Guo: Sit in the room after opening it.
Y: A。
Guo: Come to dinner: "This is Mrs. Guo's restaurant."
Y: Well, this eye is not good, and it has cataracts.
Guo: Look at these two people. I am so angry. I have a can of coke in my hand, and it comes out when I shake it.
Y: wow.
Guo: Put your mouth together quickly, and the coke will come out down your nose.
Y: spit water.
Guo: Where is nonsense?
Y: What is this image?
Guo: Bang.
Y: There's enough pressure.
Guo: I don't think so.
Y: A。
Guo: It's embarrassing. Wow (vomiting), what do you want to eat?
Y: Who else can eat here? !
Guo: He didn't speak.
Y: right.
Guo: Take off your shoes and come to me.
Y: ok?
Guo: Oh, you think I'm Bush.
Y: hehe.
Guo: Sichuan cuisine, Shandong cuisine and Cantonese cuisine are all cooked by people. Should I get something that others don't?
Y: I wish this function came out.
Guo: I thought about it. I sell Henan food.
Y: Are there any cuisines in Henan?
Guo: Henan cuisine is very popular in Guangyuan. I sell Kaifeng dishes.
Yu: Kaifeng restaurant
Guo: I made it full of foreign flavor.
Y: How foreign?
Guo: You can't write Kaifeng dishes. Take the first word of the English alphabet, open, k, seal, f, dish, c.
Y: Listen to these three letters.
Guo: OK, write KFC.
Y: oh.
Guo: Let's take a picture of my grandfather wearing glasses (everyone is very happy) and then eat here.
Y: who is it?
Guo: Not so many diners came in.
Yes
Guo: But I heard from KFC that they all came out to spit on me.
Y: Do you know that you stole someone else's name?
Guo: Otherwise, make real western food.
Y: What is real western food?
Guo: Zhajiang Noodles, Old London.
Y: I haven't heard of it. Is there a river in London?
Guo: Old Tansanik steamed and fried buns, while old Tansanik electroplated Nicia.
Y: electroplating Nicia?
Guo: What's your name?
Yu: Indonesia
Guo: Ah, I was wrong. I don't make money.
Y: I don't make money.
Guo: Selling pizza.
Y: Oh, yes.
Guo: Call it a loser.
Y: It's too unrequited.
Guo: If diners don't come in, they will say it's unlucky.
Y: How fresh is it?
Guo: Why don't I sell Korean food?
Y: Oh, Korean food.
Guo: There is a Korean restaurant called "The Moon is 3,000 Li" that sells Korean food.
Y: oh.
Guo: Barbecue.
Y: right.
Guo: Why is it called three thousand li?
Y: Well, people have three thousand miles.
Guo: Ah, our Chinese civilization has a history of five thousand years. It's called three thousand Li, and mine is five thousand years.
Y: People are fighting with each other.
K: It's called.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: For confrontation, Ming is right, Ming is right, and the moon is right.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: He is the Bright Moon Three Thousand Li.
Y: and you are?
Guo: Five thousand years in the daytime.
Y: At that time, you even had to pay people.
Guo: Why?
Y: why?
Guo: The police station called me. "Your hotel is indecent."
Y: Who got up for you?
Guo: I worked in several restaurants, but I spent almost all my money and didn't make any money. What should I do?
Y: huh?
Guo: Gee, later a friend told me that you were going to dump some antique jade articles.
Y: selling antiques.
Guo: This makes a lot of money, but selling vegetables makes limited money.
Y: that's true.
Guo: An antique can fetch a lot of money.
Y: you can make a lot of money.
Guo: Oh, go home and look for it.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: Let's see what antiques we have at home.
Y: Is there anything to see?
Guo: There are many things.
Y: what's the matter
Guo: These are my uncle's slippers.
Y: hey.
Guo: My grandmother pickled sauerkraut.
Y: oh.
Guo: The medicinal liquor made by my grandfather is very powerful.
Yes
Guo: My second uncle drank it to death.
Y: huh? You dare to sell this?
Guo: The formula of forensic autopsy is the same as arsenic.
Y: it's poison. Selling things is not available to others.
Guo: I know.
Y: what's this?
Guo: Uncle's ashes.
Y: who wants it?
Guo: Grab one and try it.
Yu: Nonsense, has anyone tasted the ashes?
Guo: Later people said
Y: A。
Guo: Do you want to get rid of antiques, jade, calligraphy and painting?
Y: A。
Guo: Shanxi and Shaanxi.
Y: That's the ancient city.
Guo: I can't go to Shanxi.
Y: really?
Guo: I really went there with a shovel to dig, dig, dig, and dig into a small coal mine. If I die there again, it's not worth Shaanxi, is it?
Y: ah, yes.
Guo: Shaanxi is very good. The snacks in Shanxi are called mutton and bread pieces in soup.
Y: A。
Guo: In the future, I will be in the ocean of making buns.
Y: That's not afraid of boiling soup.
Guo: Find something and get the money ready.
Y: A。
Guo: Let's drive my BMW.
Y: Er, OK, OK, wait a minute. Li Xia of BMW, what kind of car is this?
Guo: The BMW logo was put on it.
Y: Hey, what nonsense?
Guo: I am creative.
Y: you.
Guo: BMW brands buy apples to eat. I did all this. When I was driving out, someone stopped me and patted my window. I knew her at first sight.
Y: hey.
Guo: Your father, your father Mr. Yu Degang.
Yu: Wait, my father Yu Degang.
Guo: Hmm.
Y: The full name is Degang.
Guo: Beautiful you.
Y: What am I using? What is there to see?
Guo: Ah, your father's name is Yu Deshui.
Y: How fresh is it?
Guo: Water runs away easily.
Y: oh.
K: Put that cylinder on.
Y: What do you think? This is?
Guo: This is your father's idea.
Y: Drink, don't talk nonsense.
Guo: Bang bang, Degang (turning his head) Degang.
Y: hey! Two Germans have just met.
Guo: Our relationship is very good. We forgot to make friends, like brothers and sisters.
Y: hand, foot and mouth? ! Feel related to sb.
Guo: Foot-and-mouth disease.
Y: huh?
Guo: Get on the bus and slide the door to the co-pilot. "This car is too small and narrow."
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: "Look at this space, too. Are there eight dishes and two bottles of beer here? ""let it go ""okay, bang! ! "
Did you throw up here? !
Guo: Look, he is not telling the truth.
Y: A。
Guo: Here's another bowl of rice.
Y: it's delicious.
Guo: Open the door. He left.
Y: Just because you threw up? ! Use your car as a trash can, right?
Guo: This man is so wicked. I'll take care of him after he leaves.
Y: A。
Guo: I can't clean it up.
Yu: Youville.
Guo: I could smell the wine from Erli, and I was stopped by the police on the expressway. "How much to drink, your car looks at the top."
Y: Hey, how did the police find out?
Guo: I'm not in a hurry. I have to hurry. Look at my car, zher, turn on the alarm, engaged, engaged ~ ~ ~ ~
Y: Let's go.
Guo: The police are happy. Get down, get down.
Y: no
Guo: Private people are not allowed to install this. Take it off! Doodle, doodle, doodle, doodle, doodle, doodle, doodle, doodle.
Y: A。
Guo: No, it's embarrassing to sit here. The window is open.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: Engen Gengen.
Y: You do it yourself, right?
Guo: I can't speak when I shout to Shaanxi.
Y: I'm hoarse.
Guo: They are all purple.
Y: hey.
Guo: Oh, let's go shopping first.
Y: What's good?
Guo: Antique calligraphy and painting are really good things to buy.
Y: is there?
Guo: Buy some new paintings.
Y: Wow, then you can copy it.
Guo: The works of naturalists in the Tang Dynasty.
Y: it's very precious.
Guo: Oh, beauty.
Y: Hey, draw this for him.
Guo: Mountains and rivers.
Y: He is good at it.
Guo: Fuwa
Y: huh? Tang Bohu painted Fuwa?
K: A set of five.
Y: Hey, what a fool!
Guo: I also bought Wang Xizhi's handwriting.
Y: that's not bad either.
Guo: It was written by the great calligrapher Wang Xizhi.
What did you write?
Guo: One world, one dream.
Y: Oh, I must work hard.
Guo: I appreciate it.
Y: and you?
Guo: I also bought a good fan, which was written during the Qianlong period.
Y: good.
Guo: Qianlong imperial pen
Y: what to write?
Guo: Four big characters.
Y: A。
Guo: Hide secrets and discharge oil.
Y: Oh, don't hold back.
Guo: It's still written at the bottom
Y: A。
Guo: I gave Mr. * * * encouragement.
Y: His old man knows about it.
Guo: I'm going to be rich.
Y: hehe.
Guo: It's all settled. Drive back to Beijing.
Y: come back.
Guo: There was a traffic jam as soon as I got on the expressway. I was anxious. My roots are in front of me.
Yu: Call the police.
Guo: I have already rushed there.
Y: A。
Guo: No.
Y: oh.
Guo: A peddler called me here to "be the alarm of real estate".
Y: That's also true.
Guo: Ah, alarm, buy, buy and install. The effect is really good.
Y: go ahead.
Guo: It's very loud.
Y: oh.
Guo: When it opens here, it says "clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean".
Y: The alarm is too regional.
Guo: Drive all the way back to Beijing.
Y: Is this for Beijing? I can't understand this when I am out of Shaanxi.
Guo: Clean, clean, clean. On the edge of Beijing, the police stopped it.
Y: A。
Guo: Don't you know how to promote Mandarin?
Y: Well, I really don't understand.
Guo: Then what are you shouting? What is this? Look at my license plate
Y: A。
Guo: Say it.
Y: what's the matter
Guo: The Olympic Games is coming. Let's practice even and odd numbers.
Y: yo.
Guo: This is an even number. You can't come out on 3 1 tomorrow. Go home and take a day off.
Y: A。
Guo: I understand. You have to pay for a car.
Yu: odd number
Guo: You can come out on the 3rd1. Wait a minute.
Y: A。
Guo: Today is the 1st. what do you think?
Y: These two days are connected.
Guo: I hope so.
Y: A。
Guo: Go to Grade Two.
Y: A。
Guo: I lost my car as soon as I went out.
Y: Oh, the BMW brand Li Xia has also been occupied.
Guo: And those with eyes open.
Y: what should I do?
Guo: I sold my calligraphy and painting.
Y: A。
Guo: No one wants it.
Y: nobody wants it.
Guo: Put aside, put aside five dollars?
Y: huh?
Guo: You hate me enough to pay the police.
Y: forget your alarm clock.
Guo: What can I do?
Y: A。
Guo: The car is gone, and so is the money.
Y: You are wrong.
Guo: Let's see where it comes from. I'll sign up.
Y: oh, yes.
Guo: Do something.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: I want to apply for a job at KFC.
Y: go ahead.
Guo: Sit in a row of examiners, "Hello everyone" and "What are your specialties?"
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: I can sing.
Yes
Guo: Sing a song.
Y: A。
Guo: More happiness, more laughter, all in McDonald's.
Y: No matter how good it is, it's wrong. It's like singing in a hot kiln
Guo: I'll come out and his supervisor will come out. "Wait a minute, tell you, I didn't want you because I sang the wrong song."
Y: what's that?
Guo: Your Kaifeng dish is stamped.
Y: This is still under consideration.
Guo: I panicked.
Y: A。
Guo: The pressure is too great.
Y: there is pressure.
Guo: Let's go out for a walk.
Y: A。
Guo: Turn here, turn there, and Shanghai will turn.
Here we are.
Guo: We arrived at Jin 'an Temple. Go in and burn incense.
Y: A。
Guo: God bless me. I went to burn incense. My mobile phone came out and left it in the ethics box.
Y: it's really frustrating.
Guo: (looking around) Nobody. Find a brick.
Y: Break this moral box.
Guo: Four security guards came over and said, "I'll kill you!"
Y: People think they will invest.
Guo: Come to the old road, "benefactor, you have a rich face."
Y: he can see.
Guo: "After a month, you have completely changed. I have a piece of jade here, 5000 yuan, which has been in my mouth for a month. You are all right. " Give someone money and put it in your mouth.
Y: I gave it to someone else.
Guo: In less than a month, my tongue turned green in two days.
Jade: Jade will fade.
Guo: Everyone scolds me.
Yes
Guo: "What a simpleton! Is Jin 'an Temple sophisticated? "
Yes, is this the monk temple?
Guo: Lama?
Y: What Lama?
Guo: Anyone who sees me will ask.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: Are you broken?
Y: Guess what? This isn't it?
Guo: No, I said I drank Sanlu milk. "Sanlu should be white." It smells of mint.
Y: Come on, don't explain it to others.
Guo: Alas, the pressure is too great.
Y: The pressure is increasing.
Guo: There is nothing at home.
Y: ah, it's poverty.
Guo: Well, you have to be careful with your money.
Y: There are many flowers in a flower.
Guo: Eating is a problem.
Y: scrimp and save.
K: Before Christmas.
Y: A。
Guo: I want to relieve the pressure as soon as I stand up. I convinced myself to live a good life.
Yes
Guo: No matter what you see, you will be happy, and you will not feel bad if you don't take it to heart.
Y: good.
Guo: I didn't expect to hear a message.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: Okubo Matsuo is dead.
Y: Do you still have this luxury? ! Starving to death is not much, you know?
Guo: My spiritual pillar.
Y: well, I'll see if I don't eat.
Guo: I pointed out that he was still alive.
Y: ok?
Guo: She left me.
Y: She's gone.
Guo: You didn't say hello to me.
Y: What are you talking about?
Guo: I am not her ... (I'm not sure)
You're finished, you know?
Krishnamurti: Well, I wish you success.
Y: I didn't have a chance either.
Guo: I don't like it.
Y: A。
Guo: Go out to play by yourself. I'm hungry. There is a noodle restaurant that sells Daoxiao Noodles.
Yu: Daoxiao Noodles.
Guo: The big bowl is five yuan a bowl.
Y: A。
Guo: A small bowl costs three yuan.
Y: two pieces are missing.
Guo: I have to eat a big bowl here.
Y: quite a lot.
Guo: But the big bowl costs two yuan more.
Y: it's not good either.
Guo: I want to save some money, and I also want to commemorate Mr. Matsuo of Okubo.
Y: it has nothing to do with it. Just talk about saving money.
Guo: I eat a small bowl.
Y: hey.
Guo: A small bowl is definitely not enough to eat.
Y: three dollars.
Guo: I'll eat quickly
Y: eat quickly?
Guo: I cheated my stomach.
Y: What's it to you?
Guo: I'll take it as full.
Y: where?
Guo: After eating, the greedy bug was teased.
Y: I'm hungry
Guo: Take a walk in the street.
Y: A。
Guo: Hey, there is a big table in the nearby restaurant. Take a look.
Y: A。
Guo: Degang
Y: My father.
Guo: Hey! !
Y: I really like screaming.
Guo: I feel much better now.
Y: Hey, you mean me and Okubo Matsuo.
Guo: Oh, you play with Okubo Songhui.
Y: I haven't heard of it. Who is it? What a mess.
Guo: Your father eats.
Y: A。
Guo: Have dinner with your friends. I'm going in.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: Let's eat together.
Y: eat there.
Guo: I'm full. Someone suggested. "Let's find a place to play cards."
Y: Oh, play for a while.
Guo: There is a five-star express hotel next door.
Y: Is this a five-star hotel?
Guo: I don't understand this. Go ahead.
Y: I wonder where I have been?
Guo: I opened a room.
Y: A。
Guo: Come in and let's play cards. We can win or lose at cards.
Y: oh.
Guo: People are having a good time. Look at the names of several people.
Y: A。
Guo: Live, get rich, get happy, win big, win.
Y: I'm just playing with you, boss.
Guo: I'm sorry about my name.
Y: Don't embarrass others.
Guo: One didn't win.
Y: ok, I'm really back.
Guo: Then I left at 1: 30. I packed my things and left. Let's stay here honestly. I paid for my room, slept for a while and left here. I am very angry.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: Think about them, alas, why do I have so many worries when the phone rings?
Y: hey.
Guo: A woman called, "Can I help you?" (Voice of Li Jing)
Y: Is Li Jing there?
Guo: "What services do you have here?" "Our service here will be exciting" (Voice of Li Jing)
Y: Hey, this is still Jing Li.
Guo: I said you, you are shameless.
Y: A。
Guo: Why don't you eat? This job must be dirty, isn't it? Come on, come on up and I'll teach you a lesson!
Have you been called up?
Guo: I want to reprimand her.
Yes, it's good.
Guo: I reprimanded her critically.
Y: wow.
Guo: I'll be right there, big eyes.
Y: A。
K: OK, sit here. What's your name? Li jingjing
Y: there's another sentence.
Guo: You are so rude.
Y: A。
Guo: What happened to Line 360?
Y: wrong.
Guo: Dirty, low-grade, dirty.
Y: right.
Guo: Why don't you take a bath? !
Y: Wait a minute, come back.
Guo: Purification of the soul.
Y: Can you wash your soul? Where is this guy?
Guo: Sitting there wrapped in a bath towel.
Y: ah,
Guo: Is it human?
Y: A。
Guo: To do or not to do?
Y: A。
Guo: I'm really hot and dry. I am an upright person.
Y: and you?
Guo: A person who breaks away from vulgar tastes.
Y: keep her clean.
K: OK, let's talk.
Y: A。
Guo: The door is open.
Y: huh?
Guo: There are many police comrades here.
Y: wow.
Guo: The public security riot squad has more than 100 PLA uncles.
(The above lines from Baidu Degang Guo, unfinished)
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Let's talk about the students who answered "Antique King" first. Definitely not the "antique king". This is stand-up comedy. Don't fool others with Baidu search. (Who wouldn't? It is easy for people to go out. )