First, good physical condition. This is a hardware condition. It is an irresistible natural law that all kinds of physical functions will decline when people get old. We don't ask old people what else they can do to help children, but we'd better take care of ourselves in life. Nowadays, the pace of social life is fast, and young people are under great pressure, especially in cities. Once there are old people who can't take care of themselves at home, the situation of young people will be "worse" (except local tyrants). If you hire a care worker, the cost of the care worker is a lot of money, and it also involves whether the care worker gets along well with his family, whether the care worker's service is in place, and whether it can reassure people. If you don't hire a care worker, at least one young man should take care of the elderly full-time or part-time. For a family, a young man can't devote himself to his work, which means that his family income is reduced. Moreover, taking care of an old man who can't take care of himself for a long time is a kind of torture to the caregiver's body and mind. Therefore, it is an unavoidable objective fact that there is no filial son in front of the hospital bed for a long time. If the elderly want not to be annoying, they must have a good body and at least be able to take care of themselves. Of course, this hardware condition is not entirely determined by individuals. However, apart from force majeure, everyone should manage their personal health. Having a healthy body when you are old can not only improve your quality of life, but also not add extra burden to the younger generation, so as not to be annoying.
Second, have a certain economic ability. Many family problems, in the final analysis, are economic problems, especially in rural areas and economically backward areas. It is the legal obligation of every citizen to support the elderly, which is beyond doubt both legally and morally. But if the elderly have no financial ability at all, it will objectively increase the economic pressure of young people. Especially when people reach middle age, they are old and young. When a family's material resources are effective, give priority to the small ones, because they are the future of the family. Then protect the elderly, because they have the grace to raise us; Only oneself can be mean. In the long run, young people face both psychological and economic pressures. In the past, in the vast rural areas, many old people in No Country for Old Men were like people forgotten and abandoned by time. At present, the country has included the rural elderly over 60 years old in the scope of protection, which has given the rural elderly a certain economic ability, eased the economic pressure of young people, eased family conflicts, and improved their quality of life to a certain extent.
Third, give young people some help within their power. A family is a small group. Only when every family member "thinks wholeheartedly and works wholeheartedly" can life flourish. Old people can give young people some help within their power, which can not only make full use of "waste heat" to contribute to the family, but also bridge the relationship between family members and create a good family atmosphere. This kind of "help" can be physical, material or spiritual. Physical strength, help in specific family matters; If you can afford it, give it a material help (except for the elderly); Neither of them can do anything about it. At least they can provide some guidance, guidance and care for young people with rich life experience. How can a person who can contribute to his family be suspected?
Fourth, don't get too involved in the lives of young people. It is normal that there is a generation gap between the old and the young. Influenced by many factors, such as the ethos of the times, social environment, education level and life experience, there are differences between the elderly and young people in living habits, values and consumption concepts. Faced with these differences, the elderly can "seek common ground while reserving differences" and let the young people live their own lives, as long as they remember the saying "children and grandchildren have their own blessings", as long as it is not a matter of principle.
In short, I think that as long as the elderly do the above four points, they will basically not be bored. Of course, it's just something sexual. If young people don't know how to be grateful and don't speak filial piety from the heart, he will resent the actions of the elderly. This is for the elderly to pay for their failed education for young people, and no one can do anything about it.
I think about this problem from the perspective of young people and old people and talk about what to do when people are old.
First, don't live with children. Neither in-laws nor in-laws should live with children. You must have your own home. Don't go to your child's place even if his living conditions are good and he is not short of money. If you need to take care of the children, leave when you are not needed. It's good to get together for dinner and chat once in a while.
Second, don't be an old man who does a lot of things, let alone an old man who picks things up. Don't care too much about the old, don't worry too much, and don't always find fault with the young. This is wrong, it is not. In particular, don't criticize the son-in-law or daughter-in-law in front of the children, which will stimulate family conflicts. To be a simple old man, to be an old man who says nothing, everyone is not tired.
Third, don't get involved in children's family affairs. How people live is their business. Never use your own habits and good E Lai to ask your child's family life, such as whether to fold the quilt in the morning, do the dishes after dinner, do the laundry, and how to educate your child. It's none of your business. Social development is changing rapidly, past practices and concepts have long changed, and the cognition of the elderly is far from that of modern society. Don't "show the way" at will.
Fourth, if you have the ability, you can help your children's families as much as possible. Including economy and life. When appropriate, you can lend a helping hand to show your concern for young people's families, which is conducive to bringing children closer to each other and the harmony of husband and wife's feelings. It can be direct economic help or material help. This is very important!
Fifth, health problems. When you can take care of yourself, but need someone to take care of you, you should consider going to a nursing home or looking for a nanny. Even if the child is filial and willing to take care of himself, it is best not to go. Because the pressure of children's work and life is already great, taking care of the elderly for a long time will definitely lead to contradictions. Although the conditions in the nursing home are definitely not as comfortable as their own homes, although the nanny is definitely not as careful as her family, she still has to accept it. This is the biggest and most difficult problem faced by the elderly.
If I am old, I will follow the above points. Where's everybody? what do you think?
1. Save some money yourself.
Don't live with your children.
3. Don't be too gregarious
Step 4 keep it clean and tidy
Don't ask too much for anything.
6. Don't hire a full-time nanny when you can move.
7. Don't tell your children what to do.
8. Don't get along well with your neighbors.
My in-laws are over 70 years old. Last Spring Festival, due to well-known reasons, the four of us stayed at our girl's home for more than two months and stayed with our two grandchildren for dozens of days day and night. I found a problem. When Grandson was in the fifth grade, every time we ate together, as long as it was a dish bowl that Grandpa's chopsticks had caught, this little thing would never put food on that dish again, and he didn't like being close to the old people very much.
My own old man is almost 90 years old, and all kinds of functions are gradually deteriorating. I didn't think much when I was 60 or 70 years old, but as I grew older, I had more problems when I ate, such as coughing and blowing my nose. At the same time, he felt an indescribable smell of old people. Considering that I am only 60 years old now, I have a little antipathy to my elders. Is it possible that my children or grandchildren will dislike me so much? So today's question makes me feel a little sad. What should I do when I am old so as not to be annoying? Share my views and opinions on this issue with my peers.
Why don't young people like it is a natural law to be born, sick and dead, and no one can escape? It is normal for young people to be more or less suspicious of the elderly, and we have come from this stage. The problem is that when people are old, they must know what aspects they may be annoying, understand these problems, and then look at themselves from the perspective of young people, which is good for both people and themselves.
After retirement, old people should pay attention to their image. I don't know if you feel this way. Many retired veteran comrades pay great attention to their image and etiquette when they go to work. Soon after retirement, they dressed casually and rarely tidied their hair and beard. They are completely different from before retirement, giving people the image of a bad old man. It seems that he is more than ten years old at once, not to mention that there is a gap in the child's heart, even his former colleagues and subordinates are not pleasing to the eye.
Therefore, retired old people should never think that they are old and useless, and their clothes and appearance no longer deliberately package themselves. You should know that as an elder in the family, you should not only live for yourself, but also consider the feelings of your children. Everyone wants their parents to go out clean and decent.
Old people try to pay attention to hygiene habits at the dinner table. When they are old, they smell a little old. This smell is imperceptible to the client, but young people are very sensitive. Maybe they don't dislike their old people on the surface, but they often show it inadvertently. I have known this since I was a child, especially for grandparents or people in their 70s.
People are self-aware. When the elderly reach a certain age, as long as they have the ability to take care of themselves, they should try not to live with their children. Keeping a relatively suitable distance is beneficial to both sides. If they really want to live in a room, they must pay attention to good hygiene habits. Daily necessities and children should be strictly distinguished. When eating together, they should use chopsticks and spoons, and it is best to put their own dishes on another plate in advance. It would be embarrassing if the grandson who is not sensible said it directly.
Don't always ask your children about family matters. The more you manage, the more annoying you get. Young people often talk about the generation gap. The so-called generation gap is indeed an indisputable fact. When you are old, you can try to help your children do some housework or help them take care of their children, but don't stick to your own education methods. There is nothing wrong with this statement. The education methods of the elderly are very different from those of the young. People and children of our time. There are also young couples who talk less and quarrel less about family matters, and the more they manage, the more annoying they get.
When you are old, you must hand over the power at home in advance. When you get old, you should stop thinking that you are the head of the family. In addition to ensuring your daily living expenses and medical expenses, you should leave everything else, such as real estate, deposits, debts receivable, etc. , for the children. I think this is very important.
Many elderly friends may disagree with this view. In fact, it is this that will cause misunderstanding to children, make them suspicious and lead to disgust or disgust. Imagine who you can rely on when you are really lying in a hospital bed. What's the use of leaving more private money? It is better to pay the money and electricity early to make the children feel more at ease. In this regard, everyone can discuss and share their views in the comment area.
I'm glad to answer your question. First, you should learn to play dumb. There is an old man around you who always tells his children how to treat their lives. If the child didn't want to, he taught the child: I walked a longer bridge than you, and I ate more salt than you. The old man is over seventy years old, and his personal life experience is quite rich and well informed. However, his children are also in their forties and fifties. They are no longer children, and have formed an independent outlook on life and values. They have their own understanding and views on life. For filial reasons, when their children go against the wishes of the elderly, they will listen to his advice, but it is inevitable that they will not listen to his advice. At this time, the old man will be very uncomfortable. A child's life is his own, and many things may not be clear to onlookers. Only in the office can they understand the feelings of the clients. When you are old, you can give some reasonable suggestions on your children's life and work, but don't tell them what to do as long as it doesn't involve essential problems. This will not only not play a guiding role, but will hinder the normal life of children and make you feel bored. In fact, the old people's suggestions are not necessarily all right, and the children's views are not necessarily all wrong. When you are old, don't interfere in everything, which will make children feel that it is not good to be confused. Second, we should have a good exercise. At the age of 60, our personal food and clothing is getting less and less. When we get old, our bodies are no longer in a young state. At this time, you should learn to pay attention to your health and exercise more. When we are healthy, we can enjoy life well, have the opportunity to experience the fun of children and grandchildren around their knees, and have the physical strength and energy to enjoy the beautiful scenery of the sun, despite his glory. Make a fitness plan for yourself, go for a walk in the park every morning and evening, take a turn, play a dozen Tai Ji Chuan and play gateball. At the same time, our children will not worry about our good health, and their lives will be more quality. From this perspective, our health will be better, and it will also reduce the burden for children and let them worry less. Third, we must have a personal hobby when we are 60 years old. We are no longer the backbone of the company or unit, and slowly retire or retreat to the second line. At this time, we will inevitably be a little lost. At this time, you should learn to transfer your interest and cultivate a hobby for yourself. When we are free, we can take our cameras to the mountains to shoot red maple leaves, or play chess with some old friends in the park, or play table tennis with our golfers ... hobbies are good benefits. Only by doing the above three points can we live a happier life in our later years. Do you think I'm right? My mother is 72 years old this year. In my opinion, she is an annoying old man. Don't worry about the kids. Forget it. I like arguing. When I'm in a hurry, I'm dead. How many times have I thought: How can there be such a mother?
I envy those sisters. To tell the truth, I hate my mother. I can't be nice to her. I often yell at her instead of whispering. I'll regret it after finishing her. I tried to control myself, but found myself depressed. Sometimes I feel really tired.
Last week, I helped pick up my nephew and niece from school. I saw a fried cake seller at the gate of the community. I bought seven for five yuan. I told my nephew to save two for my grandmother.
It's 12: 20 when I get home, and the two children will be sent to school at one o'clock. I hurried into the kitchen to cook, and the porridge had been cooked in advance.
Actually, I haven't eaten fried cake myself for a long time. I thought Xiong Haizi wouldn't want to leave one for me, and I was not in the mood to eat for fear of delaying their schooling.
When I cooked the meal and put it on the table, my mother sitting next to me gave me a bag. I thought there were fried cakes in it, but people still think of me when it's hot.
But as soon as I took this bag, it was very light and there was nothing in it. My mother handed me the trash can.
At this time, I can't say how disappointed I am. I asked my mother: you didn't leave me one!
Mom said, I thought you ate it.
I asked her again: How many did you eat?
Mom said: I don't know, I ate several anyway!
I've been thinking about it at dinner. My mother is really old. When I was young, I thought little about my children, not to mention being old now.
On the way to send the children to school, I asked my nephew how many fried cakes he had. My nephew said he ate three, but my niece didn't eat one, which means my mother ate four.
She likes to eat this food at ordinary times. I often buy her just two, because I don't want her to eat so many sweets.
To tell the truth, my heart is sour. I have a sister and a brother. I am favored by everyone, but I am not.
After sending them to school, I remembered an incident when I was a child on my way back.
Primary schools take part in school competitions and go to middle schools in the town to take exams. At noon, the teacher bought me steamed bread to eat. I think this is the best steamed bread I have ever eaten since I grew up. It is no exaggeration.
I forgot to send some steamed bread, so I specially left two for my parents to taste. My father once told my mother that I am the most thoughtful child.
I have always hoped that as the youngest child in my family, I should get more love, but this is just the opposite of my expectation.
After entering junior high school, every cold day, I will see many parents give their students mattresses and quilts, and I will bring them myself. For many years, my parents never came to pick me up, not once, rain or shine.
Last year, my mother had a sudden cerebral infarction in June 5438+065438+ 10, and left some sequelae after discharge. Before she got sick, she was still helping others earn pocket money, but after this illness, she aged a lot.
I took her to the community fitness facilities. Did anyone say this is your grandmother? I'm used to this situation for a long time. My mother is 40 years older than me. Growing up, I have been told countless times that my mother is so old, how can she have such a small child. I was asked several times in the elevator if my mother was over 80. Mom looks really old when she works in the field.
But compared with the old appearance, this disease makes me feel that she is really old. When I went out, I thought she would go downstairs, so I left her a key. I'm afraid she will lose it. I put the key in the windshield pocket of the electric car outside the door, and I told her how to find it. And she told me she couldn't find it.
One more thing, my mother eats slowly. Every time I cook a meal, I will serve it and turn on the small fan to cool down.
I turned it off for her after the first blow. Then I let her turn it off by herself. I didn't expect a simple switch, but she couldn't turn it off after trying for a long time. I told her how to turn it off, but she couldn't learn it many times. All I could think about was how stupid she was.
My mother is a person who is not very worried. I have been very independent since I was a child. 10 years old, washing clothes by himself and learning to cook by himself. I won't let her help me do what I can.
I made peanuts the other day. I want to turn up the fire, and then turn it down and cook slowly. I went back to my bedroom to write and lost track of time.
After writing, I went to the living room to smell the paste, only to remember the boiled peanuts. I hurried to the kitchen to open the half pot of water I had added, and it was all boiled. The master bedroom is a little far from the kitchen. I don't smell it at all. At this time, my mother saw that I was in a hurry and asked me what was wrong.
I said boiled peanut paste pot, and my mother said, I said, why does it smell like paste pot? I asked her, why didn't you call me when you smelled it? You can't see until there is fire.
To tell the truth, I am so angry that I can't count on her for anything. I put on my clothes and went out for a run, but I was not in the mood. I walked around the community and cried all the way. The more I think about it, the more wronged I am. I don't know how many times this happened when I was growing up.
Just this morning, I reminded her not to just watch TV, but to drink the medicine in time when it is ready, and not to wait until it is cold. I'll help her turn on the TV while talking.
Mom said, I didn't watch TV either? When did I forget to watch TV?
Me: You forget how many times I reminded you two days ago. What's the use of wrangling?
That's how I talked to her. I thought about it and regretted it, but I just couldn't control it at that time. Mom has always been such a person who likes to argue with others. Neighbors know that she has this problem. I can't speak, and sometimes I'm afraid that people will say that I speak badly. In fact, it is also influenced by her to some extent.
Think about the time I spent with my mother, which should be the longest time I have stayed since the fourth grade of primary school. In the fourth grade, I went to school in the village next door. I lived in junior high school and high school, and then I went to work during the holidays. I left home from college and started working after graduation. I am used to relying on myself, and even now I am a little unaccustomed to living with her.
In order to save water, she flushed the toilet after urinating many times. The pool for brushing teeth and gargling is full of food and sundries. When she eats, she will get rid of it. She doesn't change her shoes when she comes in. She won't change her shoes until she changes them. As long as she is comfortable in her own shoes.
I told her several times, but she didn't agree. I have rhinitis. When I sneezed, she asked me if I had a cold. I can't accept her concern at all, because whenever I was sick and uncomfortable when I was a child, she would only say that you went to the drugstore and never took me personally.
But now I see her sitting on the sofa in a daze, why don't I let go of the past?
This is my mother. Although I have always complained about her, I will take good care of her after giving birth to me and raising me.
If you are old, what can you do to avoid being annoying? My opinion: In short, I think people are old. If I can do the above, I won't hate them. We should also pay attention to certain limits in raising children to prevent getting old and getting along with children.
If I am old and can take care of myself, I will not be around my children and will not interfere in their small family life.
When you are old, you don't get tired of doing anything. My feelings are as follows.
First, don't mind your own business when you are old. At home, children live, do things and communicate, whether right or not, you can communicate with children. Don't be subjective, or you will mind your own business. There are many things you don't like outside, so don't participate. Once you get involved, people will dislike you.
Second, don't be a tribal child. Children have the idea of children, no matter whether the family is rich or poor. Old people shouldn't think about their children all day. Children and grandchildren have their own blessings. Your worries are all in vain. It's called worrying too much.
Third, do not participate in right and wrong. This is a no-no, people are the same at home and away, and the rest are just like chaos. You don't want to make excuses. You know, no one speaks before anyone, and no one speaks after them. People who know right from wrong will be suspicious.
Fourth, the elderly are physically strong and can help their children do something within their power. Do a kind thing, don't eat everything, relax and hate work, and don't do something bad for people and society. Otherwise people will dislike you, too.
Fifth, when people are old, they practice calligraphy, read books, write memoirs and plant flowers at home. If you are an illiterate old man, don't you like raising chickens, growing vegetables and weeding in the countryside? .
Sixth. Old people can't buy their old age by their old age, and they get angry easily. This is what people hate most. People are old, amiable and approachable. People will respect and admire you.
In a word, the elderly must pay attention to their words and deeds and life style, and be an old man envied and unforgettable by their children and outsiders. Never be a nasty old man.
After writing this article, it was published without modification. It's okay today. I am surprised to see this article occasionally. There are many typos on it, such as gossiping, writing right or wrong, writing good things and so on. I feel ashamed. I hope readers will forgive me. In the future, I should be careful and not careless in my practice.
Life is normal, time flies and time waits for no man. People will get old and it will get dark, which is a natural law that no one can stop. People born ten years before and after the founding of the People's Republic of China are all old people when they reach the age of 60-80. Since they are old people, they can't help but have some common characteristics of the elderly, such as hunchback, stumbling, deafness, blindness, gray temples, inconvenient legs and feet, poor memory, constant nagging, gossiping, picky, losing temper, not paying attention to hygiene, acting strangely, taking advantage, picking up waste products and investing indiscriminately. These basic characteristics are intolerable to future generations, and even children will be annoyed. So what can be done to avoid being annoying? Please note the following points.
1, young, healthy, try to live by yourself, reduce the intersection, so as not to expose more shortcomings to them.
2. If you are old, your health is failing, or there is only one person left to go to the children's home, then you must stay honestly, obey and don't make the whole thing. Because your omnipotent era has passed, and now you are under the eaves of others, you should be careful not to be old-fashioned. Nobody owes you anything.
Give them a hand if you can. Such as money, such as taking care of grandchildren, such as doing housework and so on.
4. Under one roof, talk as little as possible, mind your own business, pretend to be deaf as much as possible, open your mouth less, choose to shut up more, participate in and discuss politics less, participate in everything as little as possible and interfere less. Some things should be understood and confused.
5, pay attention to personal hygiene and public health, often take a bath, change clothes frequently, try not to let people smell the smell of old age.
6, often go out for a walk, bask in the sun, exercise bones and muscles, breathe fresh air, stay at home less, and chat with friends more.
7. Do a good job in the relationship between the next two generations. Don't spend too much money, leave some and give them as much as possible. Don't be too stingy, too tight and too stiff.
8. Keep a low profile, but don't be too humble. Don't look like you have to bow your head under somebody else's eaves. Don't be too careful
Farmers often say, old thunder, old bad,,, alas, it is difficult to get old. It's really hard to be old, and it's hard to say how to avoid being annoying when people are old and sick. Personally think! First, either you have money or savings. When you get old, your children will struggle to support you because you have money. Second, you have property. Third, it's hard to say that you are desperately looking for a job, unable to work, without financial resources, and sick. Children are tired of watching you and can only eat according to their faces. That's really a pity. In order not to let the children feel that this is the only way!
Don't talk too much about family affairs,
Don't come forward when the guests arrive home.
People learn from the past, shut up,
Three meals a day is safe.
First, avoid yourself and spend less time with young people.
Two, three do not violate. Not against custom, not against oneself, not against nature.
Third, dress appropriately, not sloppy. Speak rationally and do things solemnly. Etiquette is very important, and there is a sense of ceremony.
Fourth, not greedy for property, generous.
Fifth, more cultured, not old and not handsome. No square dance, no blind exercise, no spoil everyone's fun.
Sixth, if you have nothing to do, call your children less and do what you can.
Seventh, establish a correct outlook on fate. A minor illness is a doctor, and a serious illness is a doctor.
Eight, less reason with others, it is not good to be a teacher. Stay out of children's family affairs, be polite to children and care about grandchildren.
Nine, pay attention to hygiene, love cleanliness, and don't show people. Diet. Try to buy branded products if you can, especially things that young people don't want to buy.
Ten, the degree of food and clothing shows the taste everywhere, so that young people can not be underestimated.