In real life, we have to face many people and have many opportunities to talk. Many professions also require us to have good speaking skills. When getting along with others, how to better present ourselves and how to make others understand and accept us also requires certain skills. Speaking in interpersonal communication is called oral creation. Relevant people believe that eloquence should become a unique art. A good Q&A, debate or wonderful speech or conversation, like poetry and other literary works, can provide people with many aspects of artistic enjoyment and ideological enlightenment. The art of speaking, like other literary works, also has a unique artistic personality.
The unique artistic nature of speaking can be summarized as:
Logical rigor: Whether the logic of speaking is rigorous and complete is the key to whether the explanation and argument can be tenable. , a successful masterpiece of eloquence, whether it is euphemistic or to the point, whether it is circumstantial, making use of the past to satirize the present, or praising and criticizing the current shortcomings, speaking outright, even in a few words, there is a certain logical thinking process.
Agility of thinking: Speech in interpersonal communication is generally impromptu speech, and impromptu works such as casual responses cannot have enough time to think deeply like writing, and it is difficult to spend "reciting words" One word can break several roots." Moreover, in many conversations or debates, the situation is changing rapidly and cannot be predicted. You must have the ability to adapt to changes, deal with problems in a timely manner, and respond quickly accordingly. In this sense, eloquence is talent, a flash of inspiration and a combination of wisdom.
Purpose of the content: Whether you are talking to friends, exchanging information, having a close relationship, negotiating business with a company, or going for a job interview, you must speak with a purpose. Most of the literary works of the ancients were not created for art, but were rhetorically organized to impress and persuade the other party. Therefore, they are highly targeted in content. Only when you have a clear purpose of use in certain communication activities can you correctly convey your meaning, make the conversation successful, and make the interaction smooth.
Skills in expression: Oral creation requires a lot of attention to technique. The common oral creations we see often use ancient metaphors to satirize the present, or use physical metaphors to metaphorize principles, or use near metaphors to metaphorize distant ones, or use small metaphors to metaphor big things. Some are bluffing and asking questions knowingly; some are using the topic to express criticism; some are puffing up and down; some are talking eloquently and making witty remarks; some are sincere and magnanimous and unpretentious; some are the first to get the upper hand, and some are the last to strike. These are all manifestations of speaking skills. Mastering these can make your communication world broader and more exciting.
Intuitiveness of demeanor: Speaking is a face-to-face communication. The speaker’s temperament and demeanor are extremely important to highlight the effect of expression. Good temperament and demeanor can make up for the lack of speaking. A person’s temperament and demeanor , also highlights the person's personality characteristics and can form a unique expression style. In ancient times, there was a saying that “writing is like the person”. In fact, it can also be said that “words are like the person”. Therefore, although the content and form of some people's speech are different, familiar people can often identify someone's style when they hear it. It is also like the words written by a mature calligrapher, which are self-contained and decisive. Not easily confused with others.
“Three feet of ice does not freeze in a day.” Learning spoken English and mastering communication skills is not only about learning language skills that are good at persuading others, but more importantly, cultivating one’s rigorous logical thinking ability and improving The ability to observe problems and be able to control them when unexpected happens is the great realm of speaking.
Speaking also requires certain skills. You cannot speak the same way with different people and on different occasions. Just like you can't say to a bride: "Don't get married, otherwise your life will be very tiring." You can't say to a mother who has just given birth to a child: "I didn't speak today. Don't blame me if the child dies." words. Of course, you can say that, but it is definitely not a pleasant thing to say, and you might even get beaten out with a broom.
Note on speaking skills:
1. Why speak?
When speaking, you should pay attention to whether what you say has an effect or whether it will have the opposite effect. , if it will have counter-effects, then don’t talk about it. Most people tend to speak carelessly or lose control of their speech after drinking.
2. When to say it
There are certain requirements for when to say what to say, such as saying "Happy New Year!" during the Chinese New Year. Blessings for happy things and blessings for sad things. Enlightenment and so on. You can't say when others are sad: "Ah! I'm so happy that you are finally sad." Well, then you will be regarded as a fool. When to say what to say, some have become established rules.
3. Where - what occasion
What to say on what occasion, it is equivalent to saying that you will tell people what they say, and you will tell ghosts when you see ghosts. It is like comforting family members at funerals. Never say when someone is sad: "Congratulations on another death in your family. It doesn't matter if you die early and get promoted early." I guess if you don't get bruised and swollen, the family member is too sad, or , I am so angry with you.
4. Who is speaking - and in what capacity
When an experienced person speaks on stage, many people will be convinced because he has rich experience. If a primary school student gives a speech on the stage, even if the speech is very good, it will be greatly compromised. Because you don’t have enough prestige, you must clearly understand what role you are and who you are speaking to.
5. Who is listening
Before speaking, it is also very important to understand the surrounding environment, what kind of occasion it is today, and who is present, so as not to An embarrassing situation occurs where someone says the wrong thing.
Even if you have enough speaking skills, but if you don’t have the ability to speak, you can only talk on paper. Therefore, in order to be comfortable and comfortable in communication, you must also have good speaking skills.
Speaking ability is the combined conversational ability of speaking and listening. Because conversation is not a game that can be completed by one person, you will say, you must also learn to listen to others, or learn how to make others listen to you.
Being able to speak means enhancing the persuasiveness of your words. To say something that can catch people's hearts and move people's hearts. With this kind of speaking ability, even if a person's eloquence is not very good, if he can say something meaningful and add his own thoughts and knowledge to the words, he can still attract the other party's heart. . Many human actions are governed by emotions. To motivate a person, reason is far less effective than emotion. To call on a person, it is easier to please than reason. Psychological research shows that in the relationship between emotion and rationality, a common phenomenon is not that rationality covers up emotions, but that emotions cover up rationality.
In conversation, the speaker's tone is a subtle use of the speaker's emotion. In fact, listening to the speaker's language is to accept reason, and hearing the speaker's tone is to accept emotion, as the saying goes : Reasonable. Only understanding can make you reasonable, so adjust your tone of voice when speaking. At the same time, to achieve the intended purpose of speaking, you must also pay attention to harmonizing the relationship between the two parties, and understand the speaker's basic needs and state of mind at the time, so that the other party can accept your meaning in a calm situation.