One day I can't sleep, one day I get up early and often wake up in the middle of the night. I feel a little weak recently, and I just want to sit at home and sweat.
But this is impossible, and working dogs still have to fight day after day.
My mother and I broke up, and both of us deliberately avoided each other. I'm not worried, but I don't want to face it I'm not good at showing my heart, I can only be embarrassed.
They are each other's knots, and this knot has a natural connection.
When I watched the Dunhuang performance in Dunhuang, the ending was touching. History is only a glimpse of a thousand years. A thousand years ago, you were not you, and I was not me. A thousand years later, without you, without me.
Whose legend is recited by the long wind and sand, but buried by the thick dust of history.
The moment I was you, so were you. Everything is a sequence, and everything is illusory.
At that moment, she burst into tears.
Due to my poor state, I feel groggy, and at this time, I have time to pick up sporadic feelings and relive the years of light and shadow in just a few days.
two
I have never had such a fate in the same place. Every time I thought I wouldn't come again in the short term. I was sent there because of various international conferences.
20 17, 20 19, 202 1, a wonderful reincarnation every two years.
17 is another turning point in life. In this year, I changed my job and started my life in a new city. In the lonely northwest this year, Dunhuang is like a thunderous landscape.
At this moment, I can still remember sitting alone on the bus and looking out the window. The whole car is sleepy, and there is a faint conversation in the ear. From time to time, there are low bushes in Gobi shoal, which are also dusty human faces. Nowhere to explore the true meaning of life, but stubbornly rooted in the hard gravel loess. Just as I walk, it's not for an answer.
Back to 19, there is a different feeling, as if it is a cordial feeling to return to an old friend. I smiled when I saw the nine-story tower of Mogao Grottoes. Then the route extends outward, and the northwest can always be described as boundless. The ghost town forged by the rough and wild northwest wind is full of endless lines and gullies, full of unadorned primitive beauty. A seemingly endless road leads us there.
At that time, I didn't know how far to go, just to meet some wind-eroded stones or mounds. The Great Wall of Qin and Han Dynasties has been destroyed with almost no trace. It is still exciting to walk on such a road full of unknowns.
2 1 year, caught off guard. The precipitation of soul and time, a grain of sand, a pile of soil, and a sad and distant song suddenly make people feel excited. It's my familiar and strange old friend. It is the Danghe River flowing happily in Dunhuang city. That night, the wind was warm and the wine was slightly drunk. Dunhuang city is hazy and cordial, which has become an unimaginable bond and concern.
The low little tree on Mingsha Mountain stood there alone and proudly, and the wind rustled, which was a silent and nameless whisper. A few more steps, there will be a group of noisy people riding camels, but comfortable and calm, self-contained.
three
Mogao Grottoes
Not far from the edge of Dunhuang city, there are grottoes in the rolling mountains. After years and history, some of them are just bare caves, and the statues originally enshrined in them are nowhere to be found. Others are protected. Under the mottled and broken walls, there are gorgeous colors that span thousands of years.
You can't help but admire that there is such a place and art that connects faith with religion, life with imagination, painting with music, legends of gods and buddhas with the ingenious care of fireworks on earth. Complex and gorgeous colors, smooth and clear lines, exquisite stories and meticulous carvings directly hit the soul in repeated shocks.
There is such an existence, no matter how many times you meet again, it will only make you more addicted and love each other more.
I can't help but hold my breath in front of the reclining Buddha. People often say that wooden tires are made of clay, which sounds more or less disrespectful. In fact, they are just stating the process of sculpture. First, use wood as the frame, carve the car body with clay, then modulate the color and outline the lines. It is hard for you to imagine that the Buddha statue is endowed with soul charm and worshipped by mortals.
The murals around the sleeping Buddha tell a religious story. As soon as Sakyamuni came in and out, his disciples reacted differently. Some people are heartbroken, some people smile at flowers, some people cut themselves with knives, some people beat drums and sing, and all beings are our shadows. In all this excitement, sadness, joy, confusion and wantonness, the Buddha lay quietly on his side, his eyes seemed to be open, and his expression was calm and serene. Between heaven and earth, he is the only one who is beyond the six Tao, neither angry nor angry, neither sad nor happy. Everything in the world started with him, but nothing has anything to do with him. He stayed out, but he stayed out. He is not walking, but it seems that a lotus is born step by step.
There is also the Lohan Bodhisattva, which at first glance seems to be wandering in clothes. Thousands of years ago, the ancients used their own efforts to create the gods and buddhas all over the sky, sketched the magnificent scenery of the Heavenly Palace, bounced back the pipa singers and played the music of the immortals. Fairy music flutters like sound, singing and dancing, making the world happy. See also the story of sacrificing one's life for righteousness, which is full of profound feelings and makes people feel comfortable and lingering, and they don't know where to go.
Buddha does not cross all beings, but depends on everyone's wisdom.
You can also see many knife marks on the cave murals, and the scars are like silent complaints. Layers of murals are superimposed on it, which is a superposition of wisdom beyond the times. However, not all rediscovery is lucky, but there are more secrets that are lost in the war and people's hearts forever.
When I came out of the cave, the sun was shining outside and the trees were swaying, as if I had turned around in heaven and earth, and I was surprised that I was still on the ground. Thousands of years ago, did that cloud pass over the heads of craftsmen who built caves? We stand on the same river.
We are not in the same river.
four
Mingshashan.
There is no textual research on Mingsha Mountain or Crescent Spring, but at the end of the road, what Huo Ran sees is a long desert. The city is strangely compatible with nature, which is still surprising and exciting.
When asked about the local people, we know that the air duct protection in Dunhuang is also the most important thing, so that the wind and sand in Mingsha Mountain can't blow into the city, and people live in harmony with nature.
Experience riding a camel for the first time. I was assigned a camel with big eyes and eyelashes and a slender body. It follows the camel team safely most of the time and only shakes the camel's hoof when the sandstorm suddenly increases. The cycling area doesn't look vast, but it happened to be a windy and dusty day. I was in a hurry when riding on the camel's back. I am afraid that the mobile phone will disappear in the blink of an eye when it falls into the desert, and I have to resist the raging sandstorm that I have never seen before. After all, I have no time to experience it. The awe-inspiring wonder of nature probably lies in this time.
The wind and sand come and go, and the camel marks you stepped on are quickly buried. I just feel that the seemingly relaxed desert road has taken so long, so long, as if I had stayed on my hunchback for a century. Looking back now, it was a rare and interesting experience.
The second time, I followed the team to the top of the desert and moved up step by step along the long ladder stuck in the sand. I was shaking and scared, and I couldn't get up halfway. The people below are already villains, and the road to climbing is becoming more and more dangerous and difficult. Bullets, or high-altitude climbed to the top.
The top of the mountain overlooks the crescent spring. It is really a small crescent moon, which is a rare tenderness in the desert. The other side of the desert is still an endless desert, inaccessible, desolate and silent. Every piece of sand has no trace of being trampled and desecrated. It is a huge and colorful piece of amber, which will freeze time here forever.
The third time around the back of the crescent spring, tourists rarely go, feeling quieter and more lovely. This girlish spring, gently wrapped in yellow sand, blooms here undisturbed. It is a natural jade created by nature, and it is the mutual perfection of clear spring and desert.
A piece of clear shallow water, surrounded by green reeds, can't imagine where to start and in which century it will end. There are birds flying by and the rustling of branches and leaves. After such a spring, people don't want to believe that everything will happen.
five
I really don't know what I'm doing, but I'm going deeper.
Dunhuang is so fiery, vast, desolate, bright and unrestrained that it will live there forever and is a beautiful picture that will never fade.
I don't write for a long time, as if I cherish it and am afraid of forgetting it. The shock left in my heart has led to a long time and has become a beach in my heart. That place will go eventually.
On the way out of the Mogao Grottoes, I seemed to catch a glimpse of an artistic shadow. Not mysterious, not obscure, not lofty, not widowed It can be found in a bucket of rare broken tile porcelain unearthed from archaeological sites, or it can be found in caves dug out of loess and rubbed roughly and finely. Strong historical elements and the use of colors with great visual impact, you see it, feel it, get close to it and fall in love with it. Every dark cave also carries the expectations and long-cherished wishes of worshippers of past dynasties. What was the mood of artists thousands of years ago when they were tracing outlines and smudging colors one by one?
When I came out of Dunhuang again that night, I was silent and wanted to express myself. I don't seem to know myself very well. When I sing, my eyes get wet. And countless tears, whether to touch spiritual beliefs beyond the essence of religion, or because history is too grand and we are too small, personal pain and sorrow are just a drop in the ocean, but what we watch, believe, persist and pursue is just like the ten teams of messengers sent by Zhang Yichao in that year. Even if we had a narrow escape, even if we died in a foreign country, we would stick to it until the last moment when the gate of Chang 'an was opened.
The wheel of history rolls forward, and they will stay in history forever. We are bystanders of history, and we are also witnesses of history.
Looking through the photos, I found that it was a small photo taken by 19 when she visited the Mogao replica exhibition area. "I feel that life is like a blink of an eye, leaving a period of youth for my heart." The fine print of this painting is very meaningful to read. In fact, we don't have to worry about personal smallness, we can sing and live up to our youth. Nature will be infinitely prajnaparamita.
When Xiaowen was released, it suddenly rained heavily in the city. The afternoon sky is as dark as the deep sea, and there are tall buildings not far away like silent movies. Then there was lightning and thunder, and the hail hit the window sill like a drum. Colleagues say that the water level of the Yangtze River is going to rise. I have also wondered whether Dunhuang, thousands of miles away, is still as hot as the sun.
You are my dream for a thousand years, and you are my eyes for a thousand years.