Pretending to be confused while still understanding is the highest state of being a human being!
We have all heard that "Too much talk leads to mistakes". The more you talk, the more mistakes you will make. Smart people think about what to say and what not to say. This is not only respecting others, but also a manifestation of wisdom and kindness.
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Pretending to be confused while knowing something is a kind of respect
As a general rule, friends should have fewer criticisms and more temptations, rewards and advice. yes. ——Wang Yangming
In life, when we get along with friends, we will inevitably have some conflicts or frictions. When we admonish each other, we must pay attention to the way we speak, try to make less accusations and complaints, and more With praise and encouragement, friends can get along more harmoniously.
If you point out a mistake directly to a friend, it will not only hurt his self-esteem, but also affect the friendship between them. What was originally good intentions ended up hurting both sides, so why bother?
There is a short story in "Confucius Family Letters":
One day, when Confucius and his disciples were preparing to go out, it happened to be raining, but they did not bring rain gear. They passed by Zixia At the door of the house, Zilu asked to borrow an umbrella from Zixia.
But he was stopped by Confucius. He said to Zilu: "I know Zixia very well. He cherishes money and generally does not lend things to others easily."
Zilu asked: "I can share my things with everyone, but Zixia won't even lend me an umbrella?"
Confucius said: "Everyone has different ideas. We should respect them. We can't." Forcing others to do things they don't like can make the friendship last longer."
It was possible to borrow rain gear from the disciple's house, but Confucius knew Zixia, and if he didn't borrow it, others would think otherwise. Zixiamu has no respect for his elders; but if he borrows it, he will feel very distressed.
Confucius did not blame Zixia for being stingy. On the contrary, he pretended to be confused, respected Zixia's wishes, and was tolerant and understanding of him.
Many times, we understand in our hearts but don’t say it in person. This is a sign of respect for others. Being a little confused occasionally is not necessarily a blessing.
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Pretending to be confused while knowing something is a kind of kindness
Confucius said: "A gentleman wants to be slow in words but quick in deeds." - " "The Analects of Confucius"
It means that when dealing with others, you must be careful with your words to avoid hurting others and yourself.
People who pretend to be confused while still understanding are kind-hearted people. They can be considerate of others, think from their perspective, and will not tell them off even if they see through them.
In real life, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in many families is becoming increasingly tense, but there are many who get along better.
One of my colleagues is as close as mother and daughter to her mother-in-law. I often see her posting pictures in WeChat Moments. She is very warm and happy. People who don't know think they are mother and daughter.
Later one time, I asked her for advice on how to live harmoniously between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. She said: "People's hearts are made of flesh. If you want to get along well, you need to understand and tolerate each other. Just turn a blind eye to small things. Be kind to your elders, be grateful to them, and don't care too much. After all, Home is a place where love is spoken. ”
Although every family has its own difficulties, sometimes it’s better to be a little confused and think more about others, listen to their true inner thoughts, whisper when they have something to say, and laugh when nothing happens. That way, everyone you get along with will be harmonious.
There are some things that you don’t tell when you see through them; there are some people who know it but don’t comment on it. As the saying goes, "When water is deep, you don't speak, and when people are quiet, you don't speak." Learn to speak, and know how to pretend to be confused while still understanding.
"Cai Gen Tan": A wise person will be confused about small things; a very ignorant person will be careful about small things. Gai Sicha is the root of ignorance, and hazyness is also the cave of wisdom.
You always walk your own path. Some people can make the road wider and wider; some people can make the road narrower and narrower, so that they can no longer accommodate themselves.
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Pretending to be confused while knowing something is a kind of wisdom
In dealing with the world, you don’t have to be serious about everything. As Zheng Banqiao said, “It is rare to be confused.”
Zheng Banqiao has been an official for many years. He saw through the darkness and corruption in the officialdom, and finally chose to resign and return to his hometown. He made a living by writing poems and painting all day long, returning to nature. He pretended to be confused like this, but it was really A great piece of wisdom in life.
As the saying goes: "Leave a line with others so that we can meet each other easily in the future." People who can pretend to be confused while still understanding are the ones who truly know how to behave.
But there are always many people in life who "throw away the watermelon and pick up the sesame seeds". They worry about small things and only think about themselves, but they don't know that they are cutting off their own future.
No one is stupid, they just don’t say it. Saying things clearly will only make you lose your character, friendship and even more important things.
People who are always scheming and taking advantage of all the good things will only live more and more tiredly. Many times, being generous, tolerant, and leaving room for everything is the way to accumulate blessings.
Zeng Guofan, a famous official in the late Qing Dynasty, had been in the officialdom for nearly forty years. He was able to be promoted from a small official to the governor of Liangjiang. This was inseparable from his "pretending to be confused".
The officialdom is complex, and officials are intrigued by each other. Anyone who sees things too clearly will only bring disaster to themselves. Zeng Guofan also said: "The way of heaven prohibits cleverness." Sometimes being stupid and confused is just disguising and protecting yourself.
He trained Li Hongzhang, Zuo Zongtang and others regardless of the cost, and after pacifying the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom, he gave away the credit to others. All these are manifestations of his "confusion".
Ask such a leader, who wouldn’t want to do things for him and be loyal to him? This is an important reason why Zeng Guofan was promoted all the way.
Lao Tzu once said: "Great wisdom is like foolishness."
A truly wise man knows how to "know but don't speak, and keep silent when appropriate", knows how to pretend to be confused despite understanding, and be merciful and merciful!