"Low Spring" "I'm Stupid"
Dark Plum Blossoms, I am uneducated,
Lying on a branch, I feel so sad, my IQ is very low,
I hear it lying like water in the distance. If you want to ask me who I am,
I can easily see the spring green. A big stupid ass.
The shore is green, I am a donkey,
The shore is green, I am a donkey,
The shore is green. I'm a stupid donkey.
It is difficult to say goodbye when we hug each other, and we are so weak that we yawn. --(Li Shangyin)
I felt dizzy and rubbed the corners of my eyes vigorously. I was too playful last night and lacked awareness. --(Meng Haoran's "Spring Dawn")
The foam rushed away, and the waves washed away the waves, revealing two rows of sharp teeth. --(Su Shi's "Niannujiao-Chibi Nostalgia")
The Sixth Army will have no choice but to stop and go, it will definitely be too late. --(Bai Juyi)
The days are slowly getting too long, so I will just dawdle around with nothing to do. --(Qu Yuan)
I am awesome here and you are beautiful over there. I miss you every day but don’t regret it if I don’t see you. If you do, don’t regret it. --(Li Zhiyi)
Playing chess at noon, with a small mouse in hand. Who knows that black and white seeds are all "heart" painful. --(Li Shen)
Poetry on a Quiet Night (Thief Edition)
The moonlight shines in front of the bed,
The thief climbs the wall.
Picked up the mace,
Li Bai fell to the ground.
Talking about four poems
Today is Thursday,
Li Bai is going to take the exam.
After taking the exam forty-four,
went home and watched TV.
Seeing the Shaolin Temple,
I want to learn real skills.
Being beaten into tomatoes,
He also said that he was capable.
Quiet Night Poems
The moonlight shines in front of the bed,
Li Bai opens the window.
Encounters X-rays,
All my teeth have fallen out.
"Wang Lushan Waterfall"
The oven in Rizhao produces green smoke,
Looking at the Beijing roast duck restaurant in the distance.
The saliva flowed down three thousand feet,
There was no money when I touched my pocket.
"Like a Dream"
I drank too much last night,
and strayed into the depths of the campus.
Vomiting, vomiting, startling countless mandarin ducks
Spring Dawn
If you don’t wash your feet in spring,
mosquitoes bite you everywhere.
When I turned over in the middle of the night,
I was crushed to death.
Quiet Night Poems
The bright moonlight in front of the bed
The Li family (Li Bai’s family) opened the window
Throw a grenade
His family is all dead (rats are all dead)
Naruto's spoof
Today, Teacher Iruka taught Chinese class and asked everyone to take turns reciting "Water Melody Uda Mingyue" When will there be?"
Sasuke: The underworld is squeezing Itachi to death! Ask the sky for wine.
Ningci: I don’t know what year it is in the Zong family palace.
Sakura: (Looking at Sasuke silently with affection) I want to get Sasuke, but I am afraid that I am not good at ninjutsu and will be incomparable.
Shikamaru: (helpless) Dancing like a Hokage, how can he be in the room...
Iruka was close to collapse and asked the Jonin to demonstrate, and the result—— —-
Kakashi: (Lazy) Turning around the corner, I got lost again, speechless. Late again...
Kai: (flashes teeth) What's the matter with the blood chakra eye! ?
3 Ninja saw the excitement and came here————
Orochimaru: Ninjas are born, old, sick and die, and containers are high and low.
Jiraiya: It is difficult to draw all the materials from ancient times.
The 5th generation: Konoha can last for a long time, and thousands of miles can reach the beauty of the moon.
What a beautiful girl
When will the beautiful girls appear? I asked netizens on the phone. I don’t know the beauty online. Who is this girl? I want to log off and go back, but I am afraid that it is too far away to find me. I will search Choosing a good name is not like being in an Internet cafe. Making phone calls, taking pagers, and paying single orders should not be distressed. When do you not want to spend time together? The moon waxes and wanes, and the Internet has dinosaurs and frogs. This matter is difficult to solve in ancient times. I hope it goes well. Meimei. Qianli *** Chat.
Qianpian
An old monk in the black pine forest,
lives invisibly in mid-air;
Although it is not the abode of gods,
The king of hell created death and created life.
Kun Pian
A ditch in the black pine forest,
water flows all year round;
there are no cattle or sheep coming to graze.
But I saw a monk coming to wash my hair.
In the Chinese class...
The teacher said: "Classmate! Since ancient times, no one has ever died, please take the next sentence!"
Poor that one How could classmate A know if he doesn't study hard?
But he replied calmly:
"Since ancient times, who has no shit in life, and who does not use paper for defecation?"
We will see you again after the next semester. There is no trace of classmate A.
But the next year, the students and the teacher met again!
During class, the teacher asked the same question again, "Classmate! Who has never died since ancient times? Take the next sentence!"
This time the students were smart~
p>He said slowly:
"Since ancient times, who has no shit in life, who can defecate without paper. If you don't use toilet paper, unless you use your fingers."
Teacher After hearing this, I was very angry, but I couldn't show it. I could only coldly tell the student to stand.
We stopped to have sex at night in the maple forest, and the boat has already passed the Ten Thousand Mountains!
The little lotus just showed its sharp corners, and a branch of red apricot came out of the wall!
Apes on both sides of the Taiwan Strait can’t stop crying, and the shepherd boy points to Xinghua Village in the distance!
(This MS does not count.............)
"Qinyuanchun-Examination":
Examination room The scenery is like paper flying thousands of miles away, and glances from thousands of miles away. Looking inside and outside the classroom, the scenery is very beautiful. They are whispering to each other and it is very lively. They want to compare with the examiner. They have to come one day to see the test results and congratulate each other. Cherish the eight-legged essay to get scholars and shake your head. Memorizing by rote is very distressing. A proud man of a generation and a proud man of the times, he cheated in exams and came up with clever tricks. It's all gone, let's count the romantic masters, but let's look at the present.
"Like a Dream" (Irregular Test Style)
I always remember cheating in exams, the teacher is extremely beautiful;
My eyes seem to be all over the place, I picked up the note and put it on the ground ;
Weird, weird, the punishment is hard to escape.
When the Chinese teacher turns around, Lu Xun is willing to be a bully;
When the math teacher turns around, he can ask for six yuan six times;
When the English teacher turns around, sorry plus thank you;
When the chemistry teacher turns around, carbon dioxide turns into gasoline;
When the physics teacher turns around, a lever pries the earth;
The biology teacher turns around When the geography teacher turned around, Ye Yun lowered his head in fear;
When the geography teacher turned around, he could swim in the Baimu River;
When the history teacher turned around, Qin Shihuang came to push the shot put;
When the physical education teacher turns around, Daiyu can also play football;
When the labor teacher turns around, scrap metal comes to the show;
When the music teacher turns around, an eight-magnitude earthquake explodes the earth ;
When the art teacher turned around, Mona Lisa also became romantic.
First line: If you don’t cheat in the exam, you will be a junior student next year
Second line: It is better to have no personality than to fail
Hengbiao: Just pass!
"Drowning in Class": Erecting the head will never come, even if the water flows from the corner of the mouth.
"Poppy" When will the spring flowers and autumn moon come? How much do you know about the exam? Last night in the classroom, the scores were reported again. The results were unbearable. Looking back at the bright moon, the lingering fear from last time is especially present now. It's just a change of subjects. When can I ask you? Graduation is like a pool of stagnant water with no hope.
The sky is blue and the wild fields are bright. The hope for this year is too slim. The water is winding, the road is long, and the days without money are too long. The buildings are high and people are busy, wanting to rob the bank right away.
A Tsinghua MM wrote:
One day while walking at dusk, I saw a boy pretending to be cool, vomiting, vomiting, and just wanted to lower his head and hit a tree
The Tsinghua boy followed Post:
One day in the middle of self-study, I saw a girl hit a tree, vomited, vomited, even a dinosaur dared to act cool
Another student posted:
Recently, I had an unexpected encounter at dusk. I saw two people vomiting. They were pretending to be cool and accidentally bumped into a tree.
The fourth person commented:
While walking in the garden one day, I suddenly saw three people. People vomit, why, why? Just because they are all in Shuimu
Another strong person posted:
Walking around Shuimu with nothing to do, I was surprised to hear that four people hit a tree. Angry, angry, I will punish you. Four people planted trees
A sixth person commented:
Four people planted trees that day, and one person supervised them. It was cruel, cruel, and the tragedy was unsightly
Beijing University GG also came to join in the fun:
I was leisurely strolling online when I suddenly heard someone vomiting. I laughed, laughed, and laughed, Mizuki students hit a tree!! If you hit a tree, you have to plant a tree. Destruction and punishment are repeated. You are stupid, you are stupid, why not build roads at Peking University? ?
New "Inscription on the Humble Room"
If you don't get high marks, just pass; if you don't study deeply, cheating will be useless.
This is a classroom, only for my leisure time. Novels spread quickly and magazines are turned over frequently.
Thinking about playing chess and watching movies. Good at copying homework and hunting for anecdotes.
There is no noise of books to disturb the ears, and no effort to study.
Although it is not a dance hall,
it is comparable to an amusement park. I thought: "I just got a diploma!"
(1) The strong wind blew the big trees last night, and I couldn't even stand on the tall building alone. Live. : : The belt is too wide and won’t shrink, so Yi laughs so much that he can’t sleep. : : Everyone tries to persuade him, but he looks back blankly, and the man is still half jealous. : :
(2) : : The westerly wind couldn't hold back last night, so I went up to a tall building alone and felt lost. : : My pockets were empty and my heart was beautiful. I often got drunk when I drank wine with him. : : I searched for him thousands of times in the crowd, but suddenly I found that the man was sleeping in the subdistrict office. : :
(3) : : The strong wind last night was really scary. I went up to a tall building alone and almost lost my way. : : My clothes are getting wider and wider like a hungry ghost. Living for Yi is so damn tiring. : : In the crowd. After bragging for thousands of times, I found out that the person turned out to be a 250-year-old. : : (
四) : : I hit a big tree while walking last night, passed out alone, and lay on Baiyi Road: : I lost all my clothes and I really regret it. It was so embarrassing for Yi: : People searched for me on Baidu, but they found out that they were all the same, they were all from poor households: :
(5) : : Last night, there was heavy snow on the tree, and I jumped off the building alone, but I was still weak. Landing. : : No matter how wide the belt is, I don’t regret it. It doesn’t matter what I am doing. : : I have been searching for death for thousands of times. I have tried and failed over and over again. I became so angry that I went to the Human Resources Department. : :
(6) : : I found the crooked neck tree last night, and I was alone, and I was really scared. : : The clothes and belts are so useful, I love so and so, and I will hang myself for Yi Gan. : : I looked for him thousands of times in the crowd, and suddenly I found the man hanging outside the door. That tree
New interpretation of ancient poetry (hilarious)
Goose, goose, goose
Quxiang Xiangtiange
White-haired Floating Green water
Anthurium stirs clear waves
Goose, goose, goose - this sentence means comparing oneself to a bird. Isn't that "I + bird"? So the goose is the poet's self-perception;
As for Qu Xiang Xiang Tiange, he just wants to be a star again. Alas~ It's a pity that the poet was born in the wrong era, otherwise, he could at least be Being famous like a super girl or a super boy;
White hair floats on the green water - alas~ I have been determined to be beautiful since I was a child: apply cream and powder to make my skin white and tender, and when I grow up, I will be a mistress, green Water is the ancient name for mistress;
Anthurium stirs clear waves - this sentence means that you are ready to use your hands covered with blood to exploit others and muddy the water. Therefore, this sentence expresses that the poet is delicious Lai's bad habits.
In the Chinese class of studying the ancient poem "Mountain Journey" (Du Mu). The beautiful teacher implements the new curriculum concept and requires students to use the learning method of "autonomy, cooperation, and inquiry" to read and interpret the poetry by themselves.
Students read: Far up the Hanshan Mountain, the stone path is slanted, and there are people living in the white clouds. I parked my car and sat in love with the maple forest at night, and the frost leaves were as red as the February flowers.
Student understanding: There is a mountain in the distance called Hanshan. The stone path on the mountain is winding and steep. There is a family where the white clouds grow. There is a beautiful sister there. "I" am not afraid of the long road and the steep mountain. Driving up the mountain to have a tryst with her. It was getting late, so we stopped the car and walked into the maple forest to have sex. After we were done, the leaves swept down by the autumn wind were stained red by my sister’s blood, redder than the flowers in February...
Teacher (furious): Stop! (But then I thought about the new concept's emphasis on "students as the main body", "promoting students' individuality" and "allowing multiple answers", so I forced a smile) How do you say you are "making love"?
Students’ insights: In the poem "Stop and sit in the maple forest at night", "sitting" has the same pronunciation as "making", and "sitting and loving" means "making love". This is a love poem. There are two protagonists, one is GG, who has money and a car; the other is MM, who is beautiful and can be chased even if she lives in the mountains, and she is a virgin, as can be seen from the poem "Red as February Flowers". The main purpose of the poem is to praise the virginity of the beautiful sister...
1. Two orioles sing in the green willows,
A line of white deer ascends to the west.
2. The window contains the snow of Qianqiu in Xiling.
Men Bo's ship capsized in Dongwu.
3. It rains heavily during the Qingming Festival.
Pedestrians on the road don’t have umbrellas.
4. May I ask where the restaurant is?
There is a big restaurant in front.
5. If two people are in love for a long time,
it is time for two people to get married.
6. A good rain knows its season.
It must fall when it should.
7. Sneak into the night with the wind,
get a lot wet.
8. When will the bright moon appear?
From the first to the fifteenth day of the lunar month.
9. I don’t know where the palace in the sky is.
10. The sea is wide enough for fish to jump,
The table is wide enough for me to sleep