Will it hurt the child's self-esteem to tell the teacher if the child accidentally poops in his pants?

There is a saying in China: "The upper tube governs the world, and the middle tube urinates and farts!" It's a proverb and a kind of irony to satirize those who are lenient in their affairs and meddlesome in everything, but it really happened to their daughters in preschool. As the saying goes, people have "three urgency", one of which is "urgency to urinate, urgency to defecate and urgency to fart" from the physiological point of view of people. The ancients called it "urgency to kill the toilet", which is necessary for everyone almost every day. Since it is "urgent", it should be released in time, and it should not be forcibly stopped artificially. There are two reasons: one is that stopping it will hurt the body, and the other is that sometimes it is impossible to stop it. Even in an inconvenient situation, from the control point of view, the control ability of adults is much higher than that of children. My daughter is only six years old, and her control in this respect is definitely not "ideal"! Teachers' majesty is always above everything else in students' minds, especially for preschool children (kindergartens, which do not include children under three years old). In children's minds, teachers' words and deeds are always right, which seriously affects children's psychology, thoughts and cognition. ———— Liu Jinsui I was having tea and chatting with my friends the afternoon before yesterday. Teacher Han, my daughter's preschool class, called and said that her daughter peed in her pants during her lunch break at noon and asked me to deliver clothes. I felt very strange at that time, because my daughter had never peed her pants for so many years! But in any case, I have to send the changed clothes to my children first. I bid farewell to my friends and went home to get clothes and rushed to the kindergarten. My daughter was still covered with a quilt on the crib in the kindergarten dormitory. I smiled and said to my daughter, "Haha, how can I pee in my pants?" I'm afraid of causing stress to my daughter. When my daughter saw me smile, she covered her little face with her hands and vomitted. small tongue also smiled embarrassedly. At this time, Teacher Han came over and explained to me: When the child just went to bed at noon, he said that he had to urinate. Because many children used to cheat the teacher in the name of urinating when they didn't want to sleep, she thought that her daughter was cheating on her, so she said, What do you want to urinate? Go to bed quickly and pull your pants if you want to. After that, I left. Later, a teacher came. My daughter told her to pee, but the teacher didn't let me go. My daughter couldn't hold back and peed her pants. Teacher Han also apologized to my daughter and me for this matter (I don't want to pursue the responsibility of Teacher Han blindly here). Originally, it was a trivial matter for a child to urinate and pull his pants, which should not be a topic by rights. But when the child came home at night, it made me think a lot. My daughter said, "Dad, it wasn't that I accidentally peed my pants. I told the teacher that I wanted to urinate, but neither teacher would let me go. The child cheated the teacher, but I didn't lie to the teacher, so why didn't the teacher let me go?" I haven't answered my daughter's question for a long time. This is the first time I haven't answered her question positively. I think my daughter didn't just tell me that it's not her fault to urinate and pull my pants. There are teachers who don't understand her. Why don't the two teachers believe her? Why don't you even let me pee? Because the daughter didn't lie to the teacher. I can't tell my daughter "because other children have lied" or interpret it as "the teacher is lazy", let alone say "because you told the truth". On Saturday night, my friend's family visited my house, and I talked to her about it (my friend's child is also in kindergarten, one year younger than my daughter). My friend said that his daughter's kindergarten teacher was also like this, and she wouldn't let her children let the toilet during her lunch break. It seems that this phenomenon is not only happening in the kindergarten where my daughter is located, but also in the kindergarten of my friend's daughter, and even more kindergartens are happening. If this is a common phenomenon in kindergartens, it will be very terrible. First of all, there is a crisis of trust in this phenomenon: trust is the basis for establishing good relations and exchanges between people. If one of the two sides has distrust factors, the result can be imagined. Children's hearts are flawless and pure. Children are more eager for trust than adults. Trust is the greatest encouragement and comfort for children, which will make them safer, more confident and more happy. In children's mind, parents and teachers are the people who can be trusted most and give him safety. If children feel that even the teachers she trusts and admires most no longer trust her, their young and fragile mind will certainly be severely hit, and children will not be able to adjust themselves like adults. The child won't analyze why the teacher doesn't trust her, let alone understand why the teacher does it. She can't resist, but she can only accept it helplessly and passively. The final result is that the child's young mind is cast a thick shadow. Secondly, this phenomenon is forced to suppress: children don't know how to explain the word repression, and they don't know that they have been suppressed. Although children don't know more about the right and wrong things, it is completely certain that children should not pee in their pants. A teacher even said to their children, "If you want to pull, pull it in your pants!" In the end, the child forced the urine that should not have been pulled into his pants under the circumstances, and the teacher's behavioral ability forced him to pull it down in his pants. Not only do I have to ask, why did the teacher do this? Why stop the minimum physiological excretion problem of a few-year-old child? Don't teachers need to excrete? Did the teacher pee in his pants? Who's interests are hurt by urinating? Don't say that children don't know, even I am in my thirties. The teacher's reason is very simple, simple because other children have cheated the teacher. Is this reason really enough for a teacher to hurt the heart of an honest child with his words and deeds of "pulling in his pants if he wants to"? Who gave the teacher such rights? Lying is a common phenomenon in society. Not only children can lie, but also adults often tell some lies. Some social psychologists have done research and textual research. Under normal circumstances, people will tell at least one to six lies every day. Is it a child's fault that the child lies? Why do children lie? I am not a child psychologist, and I have no right to make any big remarks, but I firmly believe that as long as a psychologically normal person has never denied everyone's truth because someone has told him lies, let alone an educator who is a teacher by example. I think everyone knows that what an educator should do is how to educate children not to tell lies, rather than deny the truth of children. Let's assume that the teacher is dealing with this kind of thing from another angle: (Many children don't want to sleep in bed during lunch break, so they make a temporary escape on the grounds of "teacher, I have to pee"). Child: "Teacher, I have to pee." Teacher: (I don't know if it's a lie or the truth) "Ok, I'll take you there. Be careful when you get out of bed." Child: "Thank you, teacher. I know." (The child went to the toilet, and the teacher followed him to care about the child's safety. As a result, the teacher finally found that the child didn't urinate.) The teacher said, "Why didn't you urinate?" XXX (name) told the teacher, don't you want to sleep in bed? (Gentle tone) The child knew that the teacher had guessed his mind. Child: "hmm" or don't talk (indicating default) Teacher: "XXX (name) can you tell the teacher why you don't want to sleep? Children usually don't talk ... Teacher: "Do you know why the teacher wants you to sleep at noon?" (Gentle tone) The child doesn't talk or says he doesn't know (or maybe he knows). Teacher: "Do you want to grow better and smarter?" Child: "Think!" Teacher: "Very well, the teacher knows that XXX (name) is a good boy. The teacher tells you that sleeping at noon can make children smarter and taller. Do you know why the teacher knows so much knowledge? It is because the teacher slept every noon in kindergarten when he was young. As long as you insist on sleeping during lunch break, I believe you will be as smart and tall as the teacher. Well, let's go to bed. " Send the child to bed, cover the quilt, and then gently give the child a warm kiss on the forehead. If the above scenario is true, then the first thing is to educate the children, which not only instills the idea that sleeping can grow taller and smarter, but also allows the children to take a nap on their own initiative, without exposing the child's lying behavior, protecting the child's self-esteem, and it is even less likely that the child who tells the truth will pull urine into his pants (it is even more terrible if he pulls shit into his pants). The teacher's duty is to "teach and educate people". I think the words and deeds of "pull in your pants if you want" should not be linked with the duty of "teach and educate people" in any case. It can be said that it is a deviation in itself, and even smacks of coercion and intimidation. Is this behavior to dispel doubts and educate people? The slogan "education must start with dolls" has been shouted for many years. I think it is right to start with dolls, but the key question is what kind of educational methods should be used to start with dolls? This is worth thinking about.