I tried to close myself, just like the stone I held tightly, in order to throw it further!
Peacock tried to turn on the screen, but his ass was exposed!
If one day I become a hooligan, please tell others that I am innocent. ...
The baby is dead, you feed it!
I struggled to climb to the top of the ladder, only to find that it climbed the wrong wall ...
Today, you beat me to death with a stick. xxx (your own name) is no good. It will be difficult to marry your daughter tomorrow!
Summer is not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind. ...
I not only have a car, but also do it myself. ...
Summer is coming, girls can wear skirts, but not over their knees!
I would rather be lonely for three thousand years and scream at once than invite frivolous women into the sheets to solve loneliness!
From heaven to hell, I pass by!
People who hang up QQ all day these days have nothing to do but go to work and are not loved after work. ...
It was dark at night and I suddenly wanted to study, but it was already dawn when I found the candle. ...
Look at a beautiful MM, but there is no way to strike up a conversation. I picked up a brick by the side of the road and stepped forward. "Classmate, did you drop this?"
Father said to his subordinates, "I told you to take it, not to scare you ~"
For those who don't understand, nothing can be understood. ...
I have done many stupid things, but I don't care at all. My friends call it self-confidence.
Have you heard the story that the big pig said yes and the little pig said no?
If you want to compete with tigers who can starve to death more, you win.
I lost all my money, furniture and clothes. I'm going out like an Arab now. ...
My eyesight is very poor. For example, see the thumbtacks on the wall over there? You can see it, but I can't.
Are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, so you have to throw stones at my head.
Your shooting performance is really poor. If I were you, I would kill myself at once in case you get shot more.
Lack of social experience means lack of exercise.
Money alone can't make people happy, so I also steal some jewelry, stamps, watches and so on.
Iron pestles can be ground into needles, and wooden pestles can only be ground into toothpicks. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.
When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror; When you are old, the mirror is flat.
These are not rubbish! I collect antiques! Of course, you can throw it away if you don't like it.
Artificial intelligence cannot be compared with the stupidity of nature-because we advocate pure nature.
I am different from you because I am human.
The species of animals are decreasing, but the species of people are increasing?
The early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird!
Buy me 10 cigarettes, why don't you go to a nightclub?
I argued with MM about whether whales are fish or not. Finally, I said that "Japanese people also bring character", and she also agreed that whales are not fish.
Friends around you, get famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well …
Never give up, never travel.
I really want to call your grandfather myself: Dad!
Do you have it in your head?
When reading and reading cramps, Steven will collapse like urine.
People always make mistakes, otherwise the right path will be overcrowded.
After seeing me, you will suddenly find that handsome can be so single-minded!
If I were a girl, I would fall in love with me …
I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple …
Life is sometimes like being raped by a eunuch-resistance is pain, not resistance is still pain!
In Egypt, a man can have four wives. How tired you are. China is better.
The Internet is like a prison. You stole a wallet, went in, and went out to know everything.
/kloc-it's a good idea to get married on 0/0 4.
A temporary impulse, a crisis for future generations
Superman went out on a mission today. Who will wash his pants?
Give me 12 beautiful daughters and I will praise the Lord every day. After 20 years, these angels will bring me endless wealth.
The reason why my girlfriend doesn't become a monk is that she didn't pass CET-4 and buddhist nun didn't accept it.
My buddy has a crush on a 39-year-old girl and is currently proposing marriage.
In order to avoid future troubles, dig deep!
Hand over your washbasin! Uncle, I want to wash my pants.
I gently take off your underwear, and then ... and then ... take off mine.
I have never eaten pork, and I have never heard of the price increase of pork!
You can watch advertisements, but don't buy anything advertised.
Rich people are uncles! But there are even more people who owe money and don't pay it back!
I don't care whether you brush your teeth or not, but tell me where my facial cleanser is!
Stars can be more famous if they take off a little, but I got caught when I took off all my clothes!
Now you must look at the object carefully, because there are too many people who are not men or women!
The mosquito is really angry after biting you, but what's more angry is that it bit you and you still can't find it!
What does penis mean? A: Two chickens!
Standing in the bungee jumping place, what do you think most? Anyway, I want to pee most!
I once crashed into a building by bike! I knocked off a piece of skin by the building, and I knocked off two front teeth by the building!
Someone asked me where there were the most perverts, and I told him that there were women, so he went to find perverts, but that idiot actually went to the women's judo team!
I am a thrifty person. I never shit with paper, never eat with chopsticks, and never wash my hands!
Pigs are animals, but they are also synonymous with fat people!
Children like long days and short nights, and thieves like short days and long nights!
Man was born by his mother, and the demon was invented by his mother!
I told you not to push me. If you push me, I will play dead for you!
It used to be called' grave robbing'. Damn, it's called' archaeology' science now!
When you see a beautiful woman, touch your pocket first to see if you have any money!
Is money important? I think sometimes it doesn't matter. If you don't believe me, I'll throw you into no man's land. Ten days later, I'll give you a million dollars and a bowl of rice to choose from. You will definitely choose rice!
The scale of the universe is unimaginable. The earth is just a dust in the universe. Why should I suffer for losing a dime?
Stars are still stars, the moon is still the moon, but people have changed!
If I become a star one day, I will definitely take it off and show it to you!
It's not necessarily superman who can fly, it's not necessarily a bird man, it may be an airplane!
When I was at school, I thought about holidays every day. Now I have a complete holiday, and I want to go to school again!
You can't blame gravity if you can't shit. Maybe you are constipated!
The latest use of noodles is being beaten by buns!
Cowhide is not bragging, cow B is!
Goubuli steamed buns, because steamed buns are made of paper shells!
Zhu Yuanzhang is my uncle. Call him out and ask!
Fake baby milk powder is not as nutritious as grass. It was better to eat grass at the beginning!
Boy urine can ward off evil spirits, so I decided to sell boy urine to make money. My son is a cash cow!
Outside, men are gentlemen at home, and men are tofu!
Eating grapes without spitting grape skins may cause diarrhea! Eat grapes only when you spit out their skins. You are a magician!
People are not afraid of death, what they fear most is that they don't know how to live!
Surprise him! Hit him from behind!
There is the sun in the sky and the moon in the water. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, which is rounder and which is brighter, hmm! This song tells the story of a psychopath!
In order to avoid domestic violence, I decided not to get married!
All princes like princesses, and so does the frog prince!
The story of Meng Mu's three moves actually shows that she has a good son. If I were you, it would be useless to move it a hundred times!
A good horse with a good saddle, an old man with a beautiful woman!
My future is not a dream, my future is a nightmare!
The sky is wild and the wind blows the grass low.
An old friend left the Yellow Crane Tower and sent a bucket of oil before he left. As my old friend walked, he thought, this boy is really good at digging.
It's noon in the kitchen, and sweat drips from the room. Who knew Chinese food was for your mother?
Network classic quotations, low key! It's the best b show.
1. I liked to play hide-and-seek when I was a child. When others hide, I will go home for dinner.
No matter how powerful Tang Priest is, he is just a monkey-playing.
3. Wolves roam the world and eat meat; Dogs run around the world and eat shit.
4, failure is not terrible, the key is to see if he succeeds?
5, low-key! It's the best b show!
6. There is gold under a man's knee. I cut off my whole leg and didn't even find a copper coin!
7. It was really good in ancient times. Cut it and you can be a civil servant!
8. Don't tell me that you are virtuous. You are just too lazy to do anything.
9. Grandpa said: Jay Chou must be a good monk when he becomes a monk, because his scriptures are so beautiful.
10, Grandpa said: After watching the news broadcast for decades, I didn't see the happy ending.
1 1, grandpa said: the advertisement was well watched, and a TV series suddenly appeared, which was so lame.
12, together, 13 14 is a lifetime. After breaking up, 13 14 is life and death.
13, I caught a QQ drift bottle today, and I caught one. And I collapsed! One more bottle.
14, the PE teacher said: Whoever dares to wear a skirt to my class will be punished for handstand!
15, you let me down, and I gave you no chance to go on stage.
16, it's not the mistress who hates it, but the little beggar who can't stand the temptation of the mistress.
17, calling men animals and insulting those pigs, dogs, cattle, sheep and horses.
18, your name will appear in my household registration book one day.
19, that person looks, how to put it, the pixel is relatively low.
20, the world is so big, I feel so unfortunate to know you.
2 1. Kill you with what, dear.
22. If cutting my hair means cutting my memory, will I lose my memory if I cut my hair?
23. Go straight to the point and don't challenge my blacklist with your ignorance.
24, the wife must be cherished as someone else's!
25, Confucius said: fight with bricks, according to the surface, should not be chaotic; No more, no more, no more; If you die, you don't have to forget it; No, the victim was a hero.
26. A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by. A policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: I don't know, just arrived!
27, you engage in art, I engage in you, this is called deep art.
28. If you are so rich, why don't you let the mare go?
Modesty makes people progress, progress makes people proud, and pride makes people lag behind.
30. When I went to assassinate sogou, sogou cried and asked me why. I grinned: Ask Baidu in the underworld.
3 1, Grandpa Mao said: Those who don't want to get married are hooligans.
Don't complain that there is no beef in the beef noodles. Is there no wife in the old lady's cake?
Best b, funniest classic quotation.
17 7,2748,38 Women's Day, Labor Day and Children's Day ...
Ten thousand is the same as one million, because I don't have it!
I'm telling you, it's not that I can't win the Oscar, but ... how many have I won!
Zi Qiao: That was when I was in high school. One day, I dreamed that I was taking an exam. After that, I suddenly realized that something even more terrible had happened. It turns out that I am really taking an exam!
It is not necessarily a big bird that can fly, but Li Ning. Ha, I just don't understand movies at first glance. Commitment is a horror story.
Now all the performers are singing, those who can't sing are writing books, those who can't write books are acting, and those who can't play are singing again. Showbiz is a circle.
If you don't play by common sense, Conan will be angry with Richard Moore if he is still alive.
Narcissism plus brain damage, that is self-mutilation!
My advantages are: I am handsome; But my shortcoming is: handsome is not obvious.
Agent A: Be lenient in confession and strict in resistance. Say, what's your name Ceng Xiaoxian: My name is Jackie Chan. Agent A: Why don't you call Zhen Chen? Put on a straight attitude and say, what's your name? Ceng Xiaoxian: My name is Zhen Chen ... I said, I said, my name is Zeng Ge, and my real name is Zeng Ge. Please believe me!
The method of "counting sheep" comes from abroad. In English, the pronunciation of "sheep" is sheep, which is very close to sleeping. Reading too much will have psychological hints. But how do China people use psychological cues in English? I have a new set that is more direct and effective-jiaozi. Jiaozi-Sleep, this is the psychological hint of China people!
At least it's a man. He sounds like a little Shenyang.
From the Big Bang to the collapse of the universe, you can't find anything thicker than you.
Our reputation, credit and reputation have always been the first!
I'm really not a celebrity, I'm a celebrity.
Be careful, I can rest assured. You are greedy, and I am worried. I'm glad you have a heart. You are a playboy, and I am disgusting. I'm sorry for your ingratitude. Bless all my heart, your moon, my heart, and the Spring Festival blessing is sincere.
You must call me online tonight, otherwise, I will write your name on the tablet.
Since ancient times, no one has died, and whoever dies early will have to die late.
You are more like Donnie Yen than Jet Li!
How can you say that he is crazy? Only if you have a brain.
Three cobblers, Zhuge Liang stinks to death.
I'm Brother Zeng. I told you about that letter. I believe me.
Opportunities have fallen on me. But I dodged.
A good man is me. I'm Ceng Xiaoxian.
Hard life needs no explanation!
Q: What are the four sentences that Friar Sand said the most in Journey to the West? Answer: 1. Big Brother, Master has been taken away by the devil. 2. Big Brother, the second brother was taken away by the monster. 3. Big Brother, Master and Second Brother have all been taken away by monsters. 4. Second brother, the master was taken away by the monster.
Life is like a play, one is in love, the other is married and has children. This is normal.
Left eye jumps, peach blossoms bloom, right eye jumps, chrysanthemums bloom.
I will definitely be chopped into potato chips.
Let's face it, life is often much heavier than those idol dramas.
Help me cut the carrot into diced meat.
What's your status? You have an ID card.
You talk to them until midnight every day. How can they have time to create human beings?
Bet me that it's not what you want, but what I have …
Spitting is used to count money, not to reason.
What's the difference between you and direct reincarnation? !
Is this a turning point? It's obviously the breaking point.
Now the raw rice has been cooked into porridge.
It's not terrible to die, it's terrible to sit back and wait.
God, I jumped into the sea in Japan, and I can't even wash it off.
Hard life needs no explanation!
Beating people does not advocate hitting the face and hurting self-esteem. We are brothers. As long as you dare to use violence against any of us, the other two of us will call the police.
Fighting is always bad. Why don't you call?
Your head and ass are upside down again, aren't they?
If you are driving a car with Xiaohong and Xiaoming sitting in it, who is the owner? Answer: Yes, if.
You can escape the monk, but you can't escape the abbot.
Get a hall, a kitchen, kill a Trojan horse, climb a fence, drive a car, afford a house, fight for a mistress, and fight hooligans.
We are two ambitious young people standing on the street, about to fly their ideals.
Q: A turtle drilled its own shell, dismantled it and made a new one, and then went in to play with a health product. A: Calcium cover Q: The tortoise drilled its own shell, dismantled its own shell and made a new one, and then went in to play with a health care product. Answer again: The new cover and the middle cover ask again: The tortoise drilled out the shell again, dismantled it and covered it again, then got in and lived in it, and made a health care product and answered again: Giant calcium.
Your explanation is cover-up, cover-up is fact, and fact is the beginning of evil.
When you fall down with only one drop of blood, ask Brother Zeng to come back to life in the same place.
Counting sheep is done by foreigners, because sheep sleep and sleep are homophonic, and jiaozi also counts them.
This is the road to success, but it is still under construction. Remember to wear a helmet.
"Quiet as a virgin, crazy as a rabbit."
"It is the duty of every citizen to despise you."
Tell your unhappy things to make everyone happy.
That makes sense. Let me count how many people listen to your program. One, two, three, four ... What's six billion times zero?
If my relationship fails, it must be the other person lying on the ground.
As the saying goes, leaders are not afraid of being like donkeys, but subordinates are afraid of being like pigs.
Which seat are you sitting in? I am made of meat.
Close the door and let Xiaoxian go.
Network, low profile! It's the best b show.
1. I liked to play hide-and-seek when I was a child. When others hide, I will go home for dinner.
No matter how powerful Tang Priest is, he is just a monkey-playing.
3. Wolves roam the world and eat meat; Dogs run around the world and eat shit.
4, failure is not terrible, the key is to see if he succeeds?
5, low-key! It's the best b show!
6. There is gold under a man's knee. I cut off my whole leg and didn't even find a copper coin!
7. It was really good in ancient times. Cut it and you can be a civil servant!
8. Don't tell me that you are virtuous. You are just too lazy to do anything.
9. Grandpa said: Jay Chou must be a good monk when he becomes a monk, because his scriptures are so beautiful.
10, Grandpa said: After watching the news broadcast for decades, I didn't see the happy ending.
1 1, grandpa said: the advertisement was well watched, and a TV series suddenly appeared, which was so lame.
12, together, 13 14 is a lifetime. After breaking up, 13 14 is life and death.
13, I caught a QQ drift bottle today, and I caught one. And I collapsed! One more bottle.
14, the PE teacher said: Whoever dares to wear a skirt to my class will be punished for handstand!
15, you let me down, and I gave you no chance to go on stage.
16, it's not the mistress who hates it, but the little beggar who can't stand the temptation of the mistress.
17, calling men animals and insulting those pigs, dogs, cattle, sheep and horses.
18, your name will appear in my household registration book one day.
19, that person looks, how to put it, the pixel is relatively low.
20, the world is so big, I feel so unfortunate to know you.
2 1. Kill you with what, dear.
22. If cutting my hair means cutting my memory, will I lose my memory if I cut my hair?
23. Go straight to the point and don't challenge my blacklist with your ignorance.
24, the wife must be cherished as someone else's!
25, Confucius said: fight with bricks, according to the surface, should not be chaotic; No more, no more, no more; If you die, you don't have to forget it; No, the victim was a hero.
26. A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by. A policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: I don't know, just arrived!
27, you engage in art, I engage in you, this is called deep art.
28. If you are so rich, why don't you let the mare go?
Modesty makes people progress, progress makes people proud, and pride makes people lag behind.
30. When I went to assassinate sogou, sogou cried and asked me why. I grinned: Ask Baidu in the underworld.
3 1, Grandpa Mao said: Those who don't want to get married are hooligans.
Don't complain that there is no beef in the beef noodles. Is there no wife in the old lady's cake?