People die like lights go out. I don't believe in ghosts, but how I wish there was a ghost world. If there is a ghost world, the day when Xiao Shan and I met will not be too far away. -Ba Jin
As a famous writer, he attracted countless young men and women with a large number of works. In 1930s, people like China and Ba Jin could easily deduce a romantic and touching love story like Xu Zhimo and Yu Dafu of the same age. But on the contrary, Ba Jin's love is neither gorgeous nor exaggerated, but he found a happy, warm and stable home for himself with simplicity and sincerity.
Love song 1: emotion
The inarticulate Ba Jin suddenly lost a lot of restraint and said happily, "You are more like a doll than I thought! Can you tell me your name now? " So Xiao Shan, who is 18 years old, began to introduce herself. Since then, the two have been in love for 8 years.
From 65438 to 0936 in Shanghai, Ba Jin, who was only 32 years old, was famous. At that time, there were many people pursuing Ba Jin, but he didn't like anyone. Among the patriotic students who wrote to him, one girl wrote to him the most. Her handwriting is beautiful and she doesn't talk much. She always writes "A teenage girl". They communicated with Cinda for half a year, but they never met. Finally, the girl wrote in the letter: "The written dialogue is so harmonious, why can't we face the interview?" I hope Mr. Li (Ba Jin's original name is Li Yigan) can agree to my request ... "The letter not only agreed on the time and place, but also attached her photo. Ba Jin came to the appointed hotel with curiosity. After a while, a girl with a student head and a school uniform appeared. Before Ba Jin could recover, the girl cried happily like an acquaintance, "Oh, Mr. Li, you're early!" Ba Jin smiled humbly: "Alas, you are early! She looked at Ba Jin with big flashing eyes and said with a gentle and pleasant smile, "Mr. Li, you are much younger than I expected." "The inarticulate Ba Jin suddenly lost a lot of restraint and said happily," You are more like a doll than I thought! Can you tell me your name now? " So, Xiao Shan, who is 18 years old, began to introduce herself. Since then, the two have been in love for 8 years.
One day, Xiao Shan came to Ba Jin's residence happily, and in a short time, she came down from upstairs in tears. A friend in the same hospital kindly grabbed Xiaoshan and asked, "Miss Li bullied you. I want to settle accounts with him. " Xiao Shan said shyly, "My dad asked me to marry a rich man. I asked him to decide, but he said you should consider it yourself." At this time, the following Ba Jin explained: "I mean, she is still young. Once she is immature, she will regret it for the rest of her life." If she grows up, has her own opinions and matures, and still wants me as an old man, then I will live with her. Experience "ba jin heartfelt confession strengthened shan's determination to pursue love.
Love Part II: Affection
Ba Jin and Xiao Shan only had two small farewells in the four or five years after their marriage. Besides, he has never left Shanghai, Xiao Shan and his daughter Xiao Lin.
1 May, 9441day, Ba Jin borrowed a friend's wooden house as a new house on the east bank of Lijiang River in Guilin. They didn't buy a cotton, a stool or a table, only a photo of Ba Jin with his mother when he was 4 years old, which is a precious property. There is nothing to arrange. I only entrusted my younger brother Li Jisheng to send a "notice" to relatives and friends in the name of both parents, and spent a three-day honeymoon in a small hotel on the outskirts of Guiyang.
The following year, Ba Jin and Xiao Shan gave birth to a daughter. Five years later, they added their son Li. The new home has brought a brand-new life experience to Ba A Jin, which is a warm, quiet and loving family life that has never been seen in 40 years. He once bid farewell to his hometown in Sichuan because he opposed the gloomy old life order and went to the outside world to find a new life ideal; I also deliberately avoid love and marriage, because I am committed to social liberation. Now, he is a different way of life. He hardly travels any more. Ba Jin and Xiao Shan only had two small farewells in the four or five years after their marriage. Besides, he has never left Shanghai, Xiao Shan and his daughter Xiao Lin. He loves this family deeply. He has said many times: "I am running around, in fact, the last thing I want to do is leave home." In the past, Ba Jin liked to travel and run everywhere, and he was reluctant to go anywhere. Now, he is "most willing to work in Shanghai" because there is a home he and Xiao Shan built together. Xiao Shan is the first girl to walk into Ba Jin's heart. After her, Ba Jin never moved his feelings again.
Xiao Shan also loves Ba Jin very much and treats Ba Jin as her own. "How important you are in my life, you will always be my idol, no matter how many years have passed." "Being your wife will always be something to celebrate for me." Therefore, Xiao Shan has always called Ba Jin "Teacher Li" in front of people and communication.
Love trilogy: divorce
It was not until the end of July 1972 that Xiaoshan managed to live in the ward of Zhongshan Hospital, and the cancer cells had spread. Before she had to go into the operating room immediately for surgery, she said to Ba Jin for the first time in her life, "It seems that we have to part ..."
In the most painful days of the Cultural Revolution, they fell in love. For a time, Ba Jin went to Shanghai Writers Association for "review" every day. Xiao Shan will send him out of the tram station before dawn every day. Because it is rush hour, the bus is particularly crowded, and passengers block the doors tightly. Did Ba Jin ever experience such a scene, so he watched the cars drive away, but he couldn't get on the car himself; But I am afraid of being reprimanded and punished for being late, and my heart is even more anxious. Very not easy to squeeze into a car, half of the body is outside the car, Xiao Shan is pushing Ba Jin's back with slender hands and shoulders under the car, trying to help Ba Jin squeeze in. She is supporting him wholeheartedly all her life and not letting him fall!
During the day, Ba Jin often wrestles. Every night, Ba Jin dragged his humiliated body into the house wearily, and at the sight of his wife Xiao Shan's soothing eyes, all the hardships vanished in an instant. Ba Jin recalled those years like this: At one time, she and I had to take two tablets of Melitong every night before going to bed to close our eyes, but it turned white and we all woke up. I called her and she called me. I said sadly, "Life is sad!" She also replied in the same voice: "Life is sad!" But she immediately added: "Keep it up." Or add another sentence: "persistence is victory." However, fear, anxiety and fatigue still hurt Xiao Shan's health. She suffers from intestinal cancer, failed to get timely examination and treatment, and her body is getting thinner day by day. In order not to worry Ba Jin, she never snorted or complained about the pain of the disease.
Until the end of July, 1972, Xiaoshan finally lived in the ward of Zhongshan Hospital, and the cancer cells had spread. Before she had to go into the operating room immediately for surgery, she said to Ba Jin for the first time in her life, "It seems that we have to part ways ..." After the operation, Xiao Shan only lived for five days. Experience in 1972 August 13, Xiao Shan left. Ba Jin's love is gone.
Researcher Li-min Zhou carefully proofread the manuscript of Ba Jin's Random Thoughts and found that before the last paragraph of the fourth part of Ba Jin's Memories of Xiao Shan, he deleted such a passage when he revised it: "People die like lights go out. I don't believe in ghosts, but how I wish there was a ghost world. If there is a ghost world, the day when Xiao Shan and I met is not too far away. " Although the text has been deleted, it is the truest emotion in Ba Jin's heart and a rare expression. Xiao Shan has never left Ba Jin.