First of all, why people are more indifferent than others.
Compare the two examples of primary school and university, and you will know.
In primary school, I was always the kind of person who didn't like to talk in class. Basically, except talking to the deskmate, others seldom talk. But because everyone goes to school together, even if they are unfamiliar, she appears in front of him every day, so naturally she will not be ignored. At school, I attach great importance to my grades. My grades are not bad. At least half of my classmates are worse than me. When they think of me, they feel that they don't like to talk at ordinary times, their grades are not bad, and their personality is average. physical education class will come to play with me. There is a girl in the class who looks average and has poor grades. She is the last one. She is very negative and her family's economic conditions are very bad. She often goes to school without shoes and wears curly hair. Actually, it's natural curly hair, natural, but when I was a child, only young people in society would keep this hairstyle. Therefore, she combines all the characteristics of being excluded from others, with poor grades and low value, and anyone can step on it. Don't like to talk, don't communicate with classmates, it's easy to get suspicious. She is eccentric, eccentric and has a lot of negative energy, so many people don't want to go near her. So it is normal to be excluded and ignored. You can see if you have many of these characteristics. It's not just disability. I've seen disabled people. But they all live a positive life, which makes me respect and have good interpersonal relationships. In fact, interpersonal communication focuses on feelings, and negative energy is often impossible. People will avoid being full of negative energy, and such people are easily overlooked.
It's a pity that I became such a person in college, so I was modeled for four years. My grades are not good, and I rank more than 40 in my class, at the bottom. Usually do not like to talk, withdrawn, do not like to participate in class group day activities, class meetings and so on In addition, college life is rich and colorful, everyone has their own things to do, and no one wants to take the time to pay attention to you. It's normal to be ignored. I didn't care at the time. I have my own club and another small group. When I am unhappy, I go to talk to our minister. Occasionally go to the library to read books, and these things are not taken to heart. And I know that after graduation, everyone will go their separate ways, and it is basically impossible to meet again. No matter how good the feelings are, it's no use.
Therefore, we can learn from it appropriately. First of all, we must change the neglected situation. If you live in society, your ability, family background, interpersonal relationship, social status and so on are all in the middle. The school is simple, the academic performance is good, at least the teacher mentioned that you are ok. Then you will never be ignored.
If not, there are two ways. First, find what you are interested in doing, not just doing it, but having a sense of gain. For example, when reading a book, you can feel the sublimation of your thoughts every day and see the world from different angles. Second, making money is very important. When you have money, you don't have to talk at all. When you drive a BMW and Maserati into your village, there must be a lot of people talking about you. Perhaps, the village chief will visit you. Third, find your own small group and accept your friends. Fourth, find the enemy of the person who ignores you and make friends with her. Before being squeezed out by the company, I found the subordinate of that leader and became good friends. I spit out the leader together every day. Although I am excluded every day, I am very happy every time I talk to her about that leader. Then, I found a lot of gossip in private. Actually, I'm not the only one who hates her, and many people in the whole company hate her. It's just that everyone is hiding something, and there is no tear in the tooling. My mind is balanced. There are people who ignore you and those who ignore her, probably more than you.
I don't know if my understanding of indifference is right, but I think people are independent, and it is not that important for others to care about themselves. For example, my husband, his sister-in-law, lived in my house for a while last year. As a result, my daughter left because she was angry and then hacked me. Then she asked me for help, but I didn't succeed. She ignored me when she met me during the Spring Festival this year. At that time, she was very angry. Then I thought, what does she have to do with me? We are all independent. She ignored me, and I ignored her. Who cares as long as I live my own life? What if I ignore it? Life is only a few decades, and I care so much. It is so boring.
We are all eager to be respected and valued, so as to gain a sense of value, which is the spiritual demand of human beings.
When we are ignored, we often have a stinging feeling, as if our hearts have been pricked. We thought we were not bad, but in the indifference of others, our sense of value was broken.
Being ignored proves that we are not important, so our psychology will be unbalanced.
But sometimes we care too much about what others think of us, just because we are selfish, and we put all our feelings on ourselves.
Others may not care, but we interpret it as not caring. Others may indeed ignore us, but is it really that important for others to ignore us?
What does it matter if people ignore you sometimes? Why do you care?
Some people live a free and easy life, and he can ignore the criticism and ridicule of others just because he doesn't take it seriously at all.
There are two kinds of people who will ignore it.
If it is the indifference caused by the low value we can use, the lowest way is to comfort ourselves with Ah Q mentality and ignore their attitude. After all, some people are really snobbish.
The most advanced way is to find ways to improve your own value, turn the emotional discomfort caused by this indifference into a kind of motivation, immerse yourself in self-improvement and use your own achievements to improve your weight.
Let's talk about the indifference of close people. This relationship is always mutual. If someone close to you is indifferent to you, you need to stop and reflect on this relationship. Have you not paid enough in this relationship, not only in form, but also in spirit?
In the movie Don't Ask Questions, Shu Fen arranged everything for xu teacher, but xu teacher ignored her. The spiritual world of the two of them has long built a high and thick wall, and even with a little love, love becomes thin.
Be ignored, either ignore it, or look for problems from the neglected reasons, instead of asking for a psychological balance of self-deception
People have different positions in society; Have different functions in the unit; Play different roles in the family; Have different functions in front of friends.
If you feel neglected by others, it is not necessarily that others have ignored you, but that you feel this way.
When people engage in social activities, they will give the greatest sense of existence to people with high status, which is the need of social activities, rather than people with low social status being ignored. Of course, in society, people are equal, and this equality refers to the equality of personality and law.
In the unit, the functional department that studies the theme of things had the most sense of existence at that time, and the irrelevant personnel in other departments were not ignored, but only temporarily irrelevant to them.
In the family, the main role of doing things is at the forefront. For example, when a child is young, the role of the child's mother is at the forefront. Anything that happens to a child is at the forefront, which means that the child's mother is the most important. Others, such as grandparents, grandparents and even uncles and aunts, should make way. This is not neglect, but taking care of children's needs.
In front of friends, the most important thing is what everyone values most. And those who have little or no temporary influence, people see even less, which is not ignored, but determined by the nature of being friends. Because being friends, the first premise is value. You are valuable to me, and I realize that you can be friends.
If you just feel neglected, people give their smiles to others and always talk to others, not you, and your heart is unbalanced. You might as well be a silent audience, think with your brain, and you will realize a lot of knowledge and truth to enrich yourself.
Instead of competing with indifference, it is better to observe others more, constantly enrich and strengthen yourself, and be a person who is not ignored by others.
Everyone is the same. There is no one in the world who can't be ignored. Let's say Trump. I am so awesome in America, and I still ignore him! You think too much! A famous person once said: Don't take yourself too seriously, others will take you seriously! You take yourself too seriously, and others will not take you seriously! This can also be explained from the quantum field. You think that others' bad attitude towards you will form a quantum effect, form a quantum reaction, and affect others' quantum force field. This person is very kind to you and will be influenced by you. Not good! ! Yes, I'm talking nonsense, but that's the truth! ! !
There are always many people in life who complain, blame their families, blame people, blame the sky, blame society, blame their ancestors, blame the government and blame the environment. They are always filled with indignation, always looking for justice everywhere, cursing everywhere, pointing everywhere, always thinking about turning around Gan Kun, always standing on a commanding height to despise all beings, pointing to all beings and pointing to all revolutionary beings.
People's grievances often come from three aspects:
First, childhood has been hurt a lot, but it has never been compensated by the love it deserves, thus forming a sense of insecurity in life, so the resulting grievances will deeply enter the subconscious. Even after many years, the specific things have been forgotten, but grievances often harass real life and devour the happiness and happiness of themselves and people around them-complaining, complaining and resentment.
Second, cultivate children into the psychological habit of "I am right" and "I am reasonable" from an early age. He will not tolerate any false accusations. If he is slightly dissatisfied, he will complain a lot of grievances: "I am not wrong, it is all your fault!" When we praise a child for being smart and sensible from an early age, we should pay attention to the fact that when the child grows up, he often shows that someone will listen to his reason, only he is right, and he will not tolerate others' misunderstanding and incomprehension. He will explain to others everywhere that he is reasonable, and he will constantly prove to others that he is not wrong, even if he is wrong, it is reasonable. In this way, he will gradually become unacceptable and his pain will continue.
Third, I always feel that I have paid more, got less, and been recognized and affirmed less. In fact, inferiority and insecurity in the bones are at work.
In the face of grievances, what I want to express most is to be recognized, seen, understood, valued, afraid of being ignored, and always want to tell and explain. Inner inferiority and emptiness are urgently needed to be filled by the appreciation of others from outside.
In fact, when you are wronged, you don't defend, argue or explain, which is true wisdom and true love. It will lead people to introspection, gratitude and love. And it takes practice!
Be despised-ignored-ignored-looked down upon. What's the use of these? Those actions just show that Zhuang is meaningless. But it has a great influence on you. Why can it affect you!
Think about what's going on. I think you are comparing your own shortcomings with others' strengths. That man just wants to compare himself with others and make people like you feel ashamed in front of him. I lost my balance and found the problem. You can also look at your own advantages and disadvantages. But I don't think this is a good thing, because ... it is likely to bring you more and bigger problems. As long as you know what's going on, your heart will be balanced.
Judging from your question, I feel that you are a little desperate. First of all, you should control your emotions and don't care too much about other people's attitudes. You can't control others, but you can change yourself. I would rather be ignored than insincere. It doesn't matter to be poor, it's not illegal, but you have to work harder than those rich people. Think about it, don't care about those useless things. Work hard, mix, and come on.
Sometimes if you care too much, the more troubles you have, the sadder your life will be.
As He Jiong said, "Making others happy is compassion, and making yourself happy is wisdom."
We live not to please the world, but to please ourselves. Don't compare with others, be yourself.
As the writer Goethe once said, "A small part of the troubles in life comes from survival, and a large part comes from comparison.
I feel that many times I will pay high attention to the existence of various brushes, but my personality is not that kind of silence and introversion, but that kind of liveliness and loveliness, but I often feel that my existence is low and I am often ignored.
Sometimes, the louder you speak, the less people listen.
So, first, enrich the content of the speech.
Second, strengthen your speaking skills.
This is what my master told me.
Well, I hope you can cultivate your hobbies. If you concentrate on one thing, you won't care whether people around you ignore you. Once you find someone who shares your interests, you will have a good chat.
Also, be careful when dealing with others.