Death impression Zhao
My first intuitive impression of death was when I was four or five years old. Once I went to the countryside, a pregnant woman died in the town. Many people went to see her, and I followed the adults. The pregnant woman was wearing a black suit and lying on her back on the door panel. She bled to death during childbirth, but the child survived. This pregnant woman is about 20 years old. She is pale, but serene, like a sculpture. She was a woman when she was alive.
The first time I saw a dead man in such a close place, I had no fear at all. What impressed me most at that time was her pale and beautiful face and her husband, a heartbroken young man. He sat next to her with a newborn baby in his hand. When others were crying, he just stared at his wife silently, and his face was covered with tears. His eyes were full of tears. Is to look at the baby in his hand When he looked at his wife, his eyes were sad and sad When he looked at the baby, his eyes were complicated, and he loved and complained ... His wife died to give birth to a child and drew blood for her offspring, paying the price of her life. A funeral ceremony for death, a birth ceremony and a birth ceremony were held at the same time, and the one sandwiched between the two ceremonies was that one.
Death often comes suddenly. No one can violate the death schedule. In movies, patients often say a lot before they die. People lying in bed also know that they are dying. The dying man says what he wants to say and then dies peacefully. Such a situation is rare in life after all.
Reading The Scholars, it is hard to forget the story about Yan Jiansheng before he died: this miser, who loves money as much as his life, refused to die for a long time until the insider picked out one of them. This story is a bit exaggerated, but I think there is probably a similar life as the basis.
However, people's will can sometimes really delay the pace of death. This will is often based on an instinct and a deep hope. This instinct and hope are so strong that death is discouraged. A good friend of mine, a poet, once told me a story about death with great emotion. The protagonist of the story is his mother. Many years ago, the poet's mother was dying in the countryside and was a poet thousands of miles away. I want to see my mother for the last time and say a few words with her, although he knows that this possibility is almost impossible, because when he got the news, my dying mother had reached the end of her life, and it will take him five or six days to return to my remote hometown mountain village. The old lady lying in bed was haggard, with only a weak breath left, and even the strength to say half a sentence was gone. Her eyes were slightly closed. Every evening around 5 o'clock, she suddenly opens her eyes and stares out of the window. At this time, the only long-distance bus passing through the mountain village happened to pass by in the distance. The old lady's almost extinguished eyes suddenly brightened up when the engine sound of the car drifted gently through the window. Everyone knows that she is expecting her son who is far away from home to return, and she wants to see him before she dies. People in her hometown have begun to prepare for the funeral of the poet's mother, and everyone knows that the poet can't come back. Her consciousness is as weak as a candle, very quiet, only a little bit like a grain of rice, looming, but it will never die. A mother misses her son's sincere love and overcomes the aggressive death. On the afternoon of the fifth day, when the engine sound of the coach floated in, the dying mother opened her eyes with her last strength, and her son's travel-stained figure finally appeared in her vague vision. ...
When the poet told the story, there were tears in his eyes. He will never forget his mother's dying scene. Her mother held his hand and wanted to say something. A thousand words condensed into two crystal tears, flashing in her sunken eyes ... A god of death, who was as cold as ice, was probably moved by her mother's heart and waited patiently for five days. He didn't panic until his mother's last wish came true.
There is an idiom in China, which is called "Death by accident". When you say "accidental death", you mean that you died suddenly when you didn't deserve to die, that is, you died abnormally. Suicide can probably be regarded as this category.
During the "Cultural Revolution", I once saw many people who committed suicide, all of whom were unfortunate lives. Like a tree that was suddenly broken in a storm, this tragic death really destroyed life.
Seeing a living person die under your gaze, the impression will never be indifferent One day during the Cultural Revolution, I passed a tall building and happened to meet a man who jumped down from a high window. At that time, it felt like a blue dress slowly falling from the air. When the blue dress landed on the ground not far from me with a bang, I realized it was a person! The man lay on his back on the ground a few steps away from me. He is a young man in his thirties. He's alive. When I walked up to him, his eyes were slightly open and his mouth was panting loudly. His face is still normal, and his eyes look up at the sky with painful light. After a second or two, his face turned red, then purple, then grayish yellow, and his breath in his mouth became weaker and weaker. That's a little open. It becomes empty and gloomy. When he finally stopped breathing, his face suddenly turned as white as paper, and dark red blood flowed out ... in this way, I watched him die in front of me. This process is so short and so long. Because things happened suddenly, I was so flustered that I couldn't remember what to do, but I was shocked by his dying expression. The feeling at that time was not fear, but a helpless sadness. It's tragic.
Death, like life, is an event of life and a mystery of nature. In the journey of life, death is the last link, and no one can escape. However, this link does not seem to be in our own hands-"life and death are determined by fate", Confucius said. "I don't know where to go to the grave?" What is this "fate"? What is "yellow"? Is impermanence? Is helpless? Is it an erratic wind? Is it an ever-changing invisible shadow? Is there really a mysterious force that arranges everything, manipulates everything, manipulates everything?
No one can give a convincing and clear answer to this question.
However, people who hold the reins of death in their own hands are not lifeless.
I saw an unforgettable news in the newspaper: a female doctor, suffering from cancer, was terminally ill when she was found. The female doctor kept her illness from everyone and worked until she exhausted all her physical strength and lay in bed. At this time, death is wandering around her with leisurely steps. However, instead of hiding, she took the initiative to reach out to death. She chose to die quickly. She decided to use her own death. Do an experiment for human medicine. She injected herself with a deadly injection, then opened her notebook very calmly, recorded the physical and mental changes after the injection and recorded the feelings at the last moment of her life. She recorded everything she felt with trembling hands until the last moment of her life. She wants to use her own death.
Later, some people questioned the behavior of female doctors and thought it was against convention and humanity. The so-called understanding of the agreement and humanity of death is to do everything possible to protect life and prolong every minute of life on earth. However, is this convention humane for all? When you are tortured to death by illness, there is no hope of survival and you can't beg for death. When you want to die peacefully and safely, it is hard to say that you are not a relief and a kind of happiness. Nowadays, many people are debating whether patients waiting for death in pain and "vegetarians" who will never lose consciousness can be euthanized. I think this argument will eventually come to a reasonable conclusion. This conclusion should be to let the dying people who are tortured by pain go home safely. Since the embrace of death is inevitable, it is probably not inhumane to speed up the arrival of death instead of being tortured to death slowly, making yourself miserable and making others miserable.
"God gives death as a gift to the dearest." This is Byron's poem.
Longfellow's poem is even more wonderful: everything is immortal! Death on the surface is actually a transition; The world where the living live is only the countryside of heaven, and the gate of heaven is what we call death. No one alive can paint a trance, and no one can paint a picture of the kingdom of heaven. However, people handed down from generation to generation have been spreading stories about God and the kingdom of heaven, and nothing can stop this spread, because there is mysterious death in life.
Death is like a wide river, flowing slowly on the earth and between people. Its waves roll around us all the time, and everyone in the world will be swept away silently by it.
Death is like a silent mountain, in which all the joys, pains, laughter and noise of life are buried. No one can cross the mountain.
Death is an endless black hole. The power of this black hole is so powerful that no matter how fresh, beautiful and powerful life is, it will eventually be sucked in and sucked away.
Death is like a white flower, which opens quietly in silence and solidifies its flower in darkness. Only such white flowers in the world will not fade.
Death is actually a solemn declaration of life: please remember that I lived!
1995 sibuzhai early spring
After reading:
Zhao's "Looking at Snow" is cleverly conceived, starting with the description of heavy snow, creating a thick intoxicating atmosphere. Then the snow scene is transferred to the activities of characters, from static to dynamic, from scenery to people. Facing the overwhelming snow and the activities of people and birds, we can feel the magical power of nature and realize the beautiful life and pursuit. The lyrical technique of borrowing scenery makes the article full of emotions, such as drinking. The beginning of this passage points out the time and implies the memory of the old dynasty. "After three days of heavy snow, all the birds in the lake died." What kind of state is this? We have all read Liu Zongyuan's famous sentence "Jiang Xue": "There are no birds in a hundred mountains, no footprints in a thousand paths, a boat with a leaf, a bamboo cloak, and an old man fishing for the cold river-snow." Looking back, it is not difficult to find how similar the realm created by these two words is. The scenery he wrote is a true portrayal of their loneliness. The writer didn't write directly about his mood, but his mood has emerged at the moment. When describing the snow scene in the lake in detail, Zhang Dai only used "Wusong". The sky and clouds, mountains and water are white. The shadow on the lake is just a trace on the long bank. There is a mustard and Yu Zhou in the middle of the lake. There are only two or three people on board. "This sentence describes the faint brushwork is so meaningful to read. Zhang Dai is an "idiot", as Zhou Zi said, but there are people more stupid than him. Who is it? The Jinling people who live here are on the pavilion in the middle of the lake. The most rare thing in life is to meet a bosom friend at the ends of the earth. "Although the country is broken, the mountains and rivers will last forever." Two people who have traveled all over the world meet. It's a long story Seeing the snow in the middle of the lake is an out-and-out beautiful article. While we are obsessed with the description of scenery and human feelings, what is behind the words is something that everyone should chew carefully. Strong coffee needs to be tasted slowly. Great.