1, escaped the shipwreck without going to Thailand; Didn't go to Indonesia and escaped the tsunami; Didn't go to Japan, escaped the earthquake; Didn't go to Syria and escaped the gun battle; Did not go to Malaysia, escaped the loss of Malaysia Airlines; Didn't go to Australia and escaped; I didn't go to Wuhan and escaped the coronavirus. Looking back, I have avoided many disasters because I have no money. For the first time, I realized that it is good to have no money!
2. These days, a group of philosophers appeared at the gate of the community, repeating the three ultimate questions of philosophy: Who are you? Where are you from? Where are you going? Finally, pat your forehead affectionately to see if you are out of your mind.
Summarize the work in the past year and regret missing two opportunities to make money. First, there were no pigs in the first half of the year. Second, there was no imported range hood in the second half of the year. Who do you blame?
4, this year's Spring Festival is not a door-to-door, but an enemy door-to-door, and the enemy does not open the door.
5. The door for people to come in and out freely is locked; The door of death is open; There is a virus outside shouting, "Come out and play, and set you free!" " "But I deeply know that if you go out, you will die. You only have one life, count the balls, and you will be free in ten days.
6. I used to be afraid of ghosts when I went out at night, but now I am afraid of meeting people when I go out during the day.
7. Everyone finally lived their dream life. Adults don't have to go to work, children don't have to go to school, they can eat when they want, and they can sleep until they wake up naturally. Husband doesn't go out in the wild, wife doesn't go out surfing, and the old people at home don't go out to hang out. This little life feels so good!
It's finally time to lie at home and do nothing to contribute to society. Cherish it.
9, seven days of legal holidays, delayed work after the Lantern Festival, national dream, let Hubei people solve.
10, it has always been humans who keep animals in cages. During the Spring Festival this year, animals successfully raised more than one billion people in cages. Heaven is reincarnation, be kind to creatures.
1 1, this year's Spring Festival, people who can come out to meet are friends of life and death, people who can come out to play cards are fugitives, and those who can come out to date are absolutely true love.
12, the thief should have a headache. Stealing in the street. No one was there. Stealing from the house. Every room is occupied.
13, Husband: My previous dream was to live like a pig. After eating, sleeping and waking up, I deeply realized that it is not easy for pigs to live. Wife: Pork is quite expensive. It can be worth several dollars. What about you? not worth a penny
14, people all over the country have started the confinement mode. Who would have thought that one day, eating, sleeping and eating, lying at home all day, turned out to be a contribution to the government and the country.
15, boy: shampoo, make-up, take photos! I haven't seen a beautiful girl take a selfie for a long time. Girl: I forgot. When was the last time I washed my hair?