Reading at ten o'clock is original
Suddenly found that unconsciously, in adult relationships, comfort has become the most important part.
The most comfortable relationship between people is that you don't have to stick to the form when you get along. You are you, I am still me;
That is, we don't need to please each other. I respect your choice and you understand my thoughts.
Life is a long road. When we get along comfortably, we cherish and take care of each other.
Don't stick to form, just be yourself.
Recently, I was chasing a variety show "We Are Real Friends" with high ratings, in which four real good friends, Big S and Little S, Mavis Fan and Aya, were brought together to travel together.
This group of "old sisters" in their forties have gone through the transformation of their careers and the baptism of love together, becoming wives and mothers and entering another stage of their lives together.
In the past twenty years, people around me have come and gone, and everything is changing, but my feelings have not changed.
During the trip, they can stay up late, have slumber parties, sing and dance, and fight wildly.
Watching them indulge in music and dance, who would have thought that this is a group of women in their forties.
Only when you are with your sisters can you get rid of the titles of "mother", "wife" and "40 years old" that are gradually superimposed on them, and you are natural and unrestrained, much like a girl 20 years ago.
Of course, you don't have to think about restraining yourself to be a virtuous wife, a great mother, or even a daughter-in-law who is liked by her mother-in-law. On the contrary, you can enjoy yourself in front of your sisters, get rid of the bondage and be your truest self.
Think of the good friends around you for decades. They are so good because, like their four sisters, they don't need to be stiff and worry too much about each other, and they can be themselves at will.
Being familiar with each other and getting along casually, all conversations and jokes are the most natural.
Chatting doesn't take seconds to return, and you can always say that you are sleepy when you want to sleep;
No stranger to your home, you can unscrupulously open your refrigerator to find coke to drink;
It's okay to borrow money, just ask, as long as the other party has it, transfer it to the account in seconds;
Success doesn't need flattery, because you know the hard work and effort behind it;
Failure will not leave, while calling you stupid, while helping you find a way. ......
The most comfortable relationship between people is that everyone keeps his own personality, blends with each other, is warm, interesting and lively.
You are you, I am still me.
We are bright, we are free.
Friendship is like this, so is love.
Do not please, respect and understand each other.
Two days ago, Lin Zi, who was going to get married in a month, suddenly sent a sentence in the chat group: "I don't want to get married", which shocked everyone.
They began to fall in love on campus. They live and work in the same city after graduation. At the beginning of this year, Lin Zi informed a group of friends around him that they were getting married this year.
Unexpectedly, before she entered the marriage hall, Lin Zi was fed up.
She shouted in the group:
Since I was with him, I seem to have become less and less self-centered. Everything revolves around him. I am really tired.
After graduation, Xiaojie returned to his hometown without saying a word, without consulting with Lin Zi.
For their feelings, Lin Zi refused the job arranged by her family and flew to a foreign land thousands of miles away to accompany Xiaojie.
Xiaojie doesn't like Lin Zi's short hair. Lin Zi has long hair for four years.
Xiaojie disliked that Lin Zi was too fat, so Lin Zi stayed in the gym and lost to double digits.
Xiaojie doesn't like takeout. Linzi learns to cook from scratch and prepares love lunch every day.
.......
Just before the wedding, her husband's family suddenly asked Lin Zi to resign and make good preparations for the wedding. She also said:
"Anyway, I will resign after I get married, and I will prepare for pregnancy and do housework at home."
As soon as the words were thrown out, they decided the direction of Lin Zi's future marriage life without authorization.
Xiaojie didn't help Lin Zi say a word from beginning to end.
On the one hand, she struggled for many years, on the other hand, she cherished her lover for many years. The Woods are confused and disappointed. ......
In fact, it is not difficult to see that from the beginning, this relationship is that Lin Zi is blindly pleasing Xiaojie, and the relationship between the two has long been different.
On the one hand, in order to show my best side in front of my lover, I have been hiding my true thoughts. On the other hand, it will give the other party a lot of pressure to please and pay blindly.
Long-term accumulation, grievances and anger, stress and fatigue may directly lead to the breakdown of this relationship.
Many times, when we meet the people we love, we seldom say "no".
But because of his happiness and happiness, because of his sadness and sadness.
Once the balance of love is out of balance, the only thing that can maintain this relationship in the end is to constantly please and pay.
But ah, love is not one person's effort, but two people's maintenance.
The person who really loves you doesn't need to please, and the person who needs you to please is not the one who really loves you.
A good relationship is never boring.
No matter love or friendship, the most important thing for a relationship to last is that it can't get along.
A relationship that is not tired of getting along can be simply summarized as two points:
First, you can speak without any worries and feel at ease.
Zhang Jiajia once wrote in "The Store in the Cloud":
A comfortable relationship between people is that you can talk all the time or at any time.
In a relationship, you don't need to think twice, you don't need to organize concise language, and you are not afraid to say anything wrong.
You don't have to chat all the time, but I sent a message, and you will naturally reply when you see it;
I won't think about it because you don't have a second, and you don't have to regret not having a second.
Because we both have a sense of stability in knowing each other and not being abandoned.
Second, we can respect each other, get used to or like each other.
Attend to city wrote in the poem:
The grass is sowing and the wind is waving its leaves. We just stood and said nothing, and everything was fine.
Think about how comfortable we are in real life.
You can read your favorite books, I can watch my favorite plays, and we sit in a space with our favorite things.
But I can also stop and listen to your feelings after reading a book, and you can also listen to my complaints about the plot.
I respect your love, and you understand my preferences.
We love each other, but it doesn't prevent us from loving each other.
I have seen an interesting description about the way I get along with Zhihu netizen @nite:
We just met by chance, and then teamed up to explore this beautiful world and defeat the monsters along the way, without being bound to each other or sacrificing for it.
When we are together, we will live more interesting and meaningful life than when I am alone, so as not to waste our love.
In this life, we met many people and missed many people. Those who are destined to leave will always come, and those who have no chance will leave no matter how they stay.
You believe that he will not leave, and he knows that you will not change.
Mutual understanding and respect are the most comfortable relationships.
I hope we can all find a comfortable relationship, shed our disguise and grow up as we please.
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Eleven, accompany you in a daze, accompany you to see the sea. Ten o'clock gentleman's man. This article started reading at 10: 00 (ID: duhaoshu), and more than 28 million people subscribed to the nationwide reading scale. Please reply "Reprint" in the background.
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Han Xing, the host of Zhengzhou News Comprehensive Broadcasting, signed a contract for anchor reading at ten o'clock. Let endless busy, temporarily get a kind of comfortable corner. WeChat official account: Han Xing (ID: Hanxing FM), with a good voice, meet a better self.
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