In life, we always care about other people's opinions, silently suffer grievances, and would rather let ourselves suffer losses and meet other people's requirements.
So as to ignore their true feelings and forget to satisfy their true desires.
Bi Shumin said in Clover of Lies:
When we are not afraid of others laughing, we can live high and fearless.
Schopenhauer, the master of philosophy, said:
When you make some small mistakes in front of a group of people, you will unconsciously expand various associations:
There are many unnecessary troubles in life, all because we care too much about what others think of us.
If you are criticized, you will be unhappy. If others criticize you, you will be depressed all day.
As the saying goes:
In fact, most people don't care if you make a fool of yourself. Everyone has their own things to do and won't pay attention to you.
Read such a story.
Baiyun Shouduan Zen Master once sat opposite Master Yang Qifang.
Yang Qi asked:
"Remember, that song is' I have a pearl, which has been dusty for a long time; Once the dust is full of light, Qian Shan will be cut off. "Baiyun said respectfully, with some pride.
Yang Qi smiled a few times and left without saying a word.
Baiyun just sat there, wondering why Master laughed when he heard his applause. He was bored, thinking about Master's laughter all day, and couldn't find any reason to make Master laugh.
That night, he tossed and turned, unable to sleep, and worked hard all night.
The next day, he couldn't help it He went to consult the master early in the morning.
Yang Qi smiled more happily, and said to the disciple whose eyes were blackened by insomnia:
Hearing this, Baiyun was suddenly enlightened.
Isn't it?
Zhou Zeng said:
I always put my mind on other people's words and deeds and worry about them.
I always imagine a simple little thing to be very complicated, think about it by myself, but I can't figure out why, and finally waste time and energy.
If we care too much about other people's opinions, we will lose ourselves in thinking.
No one can do everything, and there is nothing that is not discussed.
Cai Kangyong once said:
Don't take what others say seriously, because other people's mouths can't decide your life.
There is a story in Zhuangzi:
There is a fish in the sea in the north. Its name is Kun. When it becomes a bird, it is called Peng. It will fly south against the wind and blue sky.
Cicada and turtledove laughed at Peng and said:
Little Turtledove thought that the distance from one tree to the next was the whole distance of life, but joked that Dapeng was fine.
Sometimes, just like Dapeng, when we want to do something, people like cicadas and turtledoves will stand up and laugh at us.
But Dapeng won't stop because of a word from Little Turtledove.
Because people with different experiences and abilities have different goals, Xiao Turtle's life is divided into three parts, while Dapeng's ambition is the whole sky.
Zhuangzi said in "Happy Travel":
The fungus of the ephemera doesn't know that life is only one day, spring gives birth to summer, and summer gives birth to autumn. They don't know that life is only one year.
Pay attention to the opinions of such people, waste your time and affect your mood.
Nietzsche once said:
Life is our own, we don't need others' approval, and his evaluation only applies to himself.
No matter how you give in, no one who has a problem with you will be satisfied.
People who don't want to believe you, no matter how you explain, they don't believe you.
Only by knowing how to shield the outside interference can live high have a wonderful life.
The ancients said
To please yourself is to accept yourself, love yourself and know how to please yourself.
Wang Zengqi wrote in "Human Vegetation":
Pleasing yourself is not selfish, but knowing how to take care of yourself. Only by taking care of ourselves can we have the strength to meet new challenges.
Yang Lan interviewed Yu Yu of Dangdang and asked her, "Where is your least confident place?"
She said, "It seems."
Because of her appearance, Yu Yu once felt inferior, but later she succeeded in her career.
So, Yang Lan asked again: "Why do you grow more confident, more temperament and more radiant?"
She replied, "Accept yourself."
Yang Lan couldn't help admiring, saying that this is worth learning by many women.
Accepting oneself is not only an affirmation of self-worth, but also an understanding of accepting one's own shortcomings and deficiencies and knowing that one is always the best.
We don't live to please the world, but to please ourselves with our own way of life.
As Haruki Murakami said:
A person can't give up on himself unless he knows how to please himself; Only by knowing how to please yourself can we find the ultimate beauty in a plain life.
When we can shield ourselves from outside interference and please ourselves, our life will be as beautiful as the flowers that are about to bloom; Like clouds in the sky and flowing water on the ground, it is as leisurely and natural.
Please yourself so that you can live more freely.
Writer Zhang Xiaoxian once said:
The rest of my life is very short Instead of caring about other people's eyes and shrinking like a supporting role, learn to please yourself, be the master of your own life and give yourself a vigorous life.
I hope you and I can learn to please ourselves and live ourselves, but we should go our own way and not be afraid of what others say.