1. Through thinking about various psychological phenomena, "being born in a family" is widely known. Starting from family rearing, focusing on "self", I deeply feel that the pain of most people is rooted in the fact that the self has not yet formed.
2. What is self? Or conversely, what is no self?
The so-called "good man" ruined his life, ruined himself, and finally this destruction was transferred to others. This kind of "goodness" can easily become the destruction of one's life and soul, and it is a classic phenomenon of self-formation.
4. Another classic phenomenon without self-formation is just the opposite of "good people", that is, they care about themselves extremely, which I call a high narcissist. People are narcissists. What's the difference between high narcissists? The biggest difference is how much you care about your desires. Extremely concerned, you can do whatever it takes to win because it has not yet taken shape, and the motivation and will issued by every detail are "I" The death of "I" in a specific sense is equivalent to the death of "I" itself in details. Death, how terrible, naturally wants to win.
5. "Good people" and high narcissists are just opposite directions. "Good man" has been destroying desire, privacy and ego all his life, trying to get a good image in the eyes of others. "High narcissists are very persistent about their own desires and want the cooperation of others. Because "I" is not formed, I always pay attention to "you" and want to get a sense of existence from "you". The sense of existence is an abstract philosophical vocabulary, and the feeling that "I" can survive. If it is basically formed, it means that a person's self is formed.
6. The so-called freedom is also very simple. Taken apart, this word means "being with yourself" or "being alone".
7. People who have no self-formation will become very sensitive because they live in the anxiety that "I" will die at any time. It seems that every relationship has a battle of life and death at any time: whether the external "you" wins or the internal "I" survives. The "relationship" mentioned here includes not only interpersonal relationships, but also relationships with things and even the world.
8. Man is the measure of everything. A person's thoughts are his yardstick for measuring the world. For anyone, forming an abstract self is a great milestone.
9, newborn children, from the theory and experience to observe and perceive, a person without self, in the end how to gradually live out of self.
10, comment Chen: beyond the four stages of feelings: first, I am not good, and you are not good; Second, I am not good, but you are quite good; Third, I'm fine, but you're not; I'm fine, and so are you.
Inspire thinking:
1. Now just search, there are many tragedies and farce caused by psychological problems. Being born in a family is one of the important reasons, but many people who are born in a family have become better or worse. Dig deeper and pay attention to the smallest individual and "self". It turns out that the root of most people's pain is that "the self has not yet formed."
2, people, self-harmony, before we directly answer, ask ourselves, what is self? Or, what is no self? After you have your own thinking, look at the teacher's thinking and you will have your own focus.
3, every man for himself, the devil takes the hindmost. "Good old man", if he always considers the feelings of others first, will form the inconsistency of mind and body. If you have a sense of giving and expect to get something in return, but you can't get it, it will easily lead to the disillusionment of this idea. It is believed that if many parents live this life only for their children, such a relationship will easily form family shackles. On the contrary, the family atmosphere created by parents who live a wonderful self is easier for children to accept and form a positive cycle.
4, a high degree of narcissism, the opposite of a good person, does not form a self, so the motivation and will in every detail have become an extension of the self. I have seen this kind of quarrel before, but it was unreasonable at that time. Now it seems that this person is facing the death and anxiety of personal will because of the different level of psychological development. And this kind of person, there is no need to be eager for quick success in ideas and things. The origin of many tragedies needs the blessing of consciousness and wisdom.
Both excellent people and highly narcissistic people need the nourishment of existence, which is the common emotion of human beings. I especially like what Dr. Jeffery Sadr said, treatment is not technology, but empowerment. Find subtle things in others, give meaning, give back to each other, and protect each other's existence and talent. I believe that the nourishing energy brought by this protection is enormous.
6. Peace of mind, like Buddha. Being at ease is being with yourself. As relational ontology says, my relationship with you is instantaneous, and my relationship with him is constant. We constantly overcome the relationship between "I and him" and create more moments when "I and you" meet completely, which of course includes "meeting with ourselves".
7. Revelation of relationship: We are always in the pattern cycle. My relationship with you is not only interpersonal relationship, but also my relationship with other things and even the world.
8. Man is the measure of everything. A person's thoughts are his yardstick for measuring the world. A particularly beautiful sentence. See things from my point of view, so everything is my color. The way you see the world is what you look like inside.
9. In the practice of this kind of life, observe and understand from theory and experience, and gradually live high.
10, caring for the heart, the four psychological stages of people, the larger the scale, the greater the endurance.
First, I am not good, and neither are you;
Second, I am not good, but you are quite good;
Third, I'm fine, but you're not;
I'm fine, and so are you.
Summary:
1. Man is the measure of everything. A person's thoughts are his yardstick for measuring the world.
2. Find the crux of the problem: everyone's stories are strange, social phenomena are bizarre, and returning to the people behind each incident is a human problem and a common feeling of human beings.