We often say that "wealth is not as good as three generations" actually describes the phenomenon that material wealth is difficult to be inherited and passed down from generation to generation, but family style can be inherited and passed down from generation to generation, which shows that there are many scholarly families in the history of China.
The quality of family style often determines the fate of a family. In the Qing Dynasty, Sun Qifeng said in the Family Instructions of Xiaoyoutang: Family wealth is ups and downs, and heaven can't control its power, and man can't control its power, but he did it himself. Fathers are kind and filial, brothers and friends respect each other, men are outside, women are inside, that is, the family is poor for life, and the family style is admired from ancient times to modern times. If the body is deformed and the family background is not up to standard, when it flourishes, people who know it have seen that it will fail.
The family style of our family was laid by grandparents' generation and gradually formed through the joint efforts of generations behind us. I want to summarize our family style in three aspects. Please correct me if there is anything wrong.
First, be filial to parents and attach importance to family ties. In filial piety, the two uncles set an example for all of us. Confucius divided "filial piety" into three levels, namely filial piety, filial piety and filial piety. The two uncles not only "filial" their adoptive parents materially, but also pay more attention to "filial piety" in life and "filial piety" in spirit. In terms of attaching importance to family ties, I grew up with my grandparents' parents, and I felt the care of my grandparents and my menstrual uncle from an early age, and I felt the strength of family ties. Now our younger generation should inherit this culture of attaching importance to family ties, so that the members of the whole family can be together forever.
Second, be thrifty and strive for self-improvement. Diligence and thrift are most obvious in grandparents. I was deeply impressed that when my grandmother was in the countryside, a woman had to do several men's jobs. I still remember that grandpa, as the principal, was very busy, but he often had to buy food and cook in person. Every Spring Festival, grandpa will personally cook a sumptuous dinner for all of us. Although the two uncles have reached the age of "knowing their destiny", they still devote themselves to their work in the spirit of "seizing the day", step by step, loving their jobs and striving for self-improvement, setting an example for our younger generation.
Third, pay attention to family style and respect education. Our family, from my grandfather, has always attached great importance to family education, respected culture and persisted in learning. Looking back on my own growth experience, I grew up in such an environment, and our generation also grew up in this fertile soil. We are all beneficiaries, and now it is our generation's turn to educate children.
Confucius said: people can preach, but not preach. I want to change this sentence: people can spread Tao, and Tao can spread people! Our growing experience is the process that a family's excellent cultural tradition moistens and edifies us. Now, our generation should take over the baton of this family, continue to attach importance to family education and family style, and carry forward the excellent family tradition of "respecting education, cultivating oneself and studying"!
Of course, no family style can be perfect, and it must also adapt to the changes of the times. Therefore, while inheriting and carrying forward the excellent family tradition, we also need to reflect on the possible problems in family culture and make continuous innovation and improvement through the efforts of generation after generation.
Here are a few questions for your consideration. Please forgive me if there is anything wrong.
First, stick education. Our family has always been strict in disciplining children, and it is also deeply influenced by the traditional educational concept of "a dutiful son is born under a stick" in the traditional culture of China. This kind of discipline is effective in educating our parents and our generation in the past, but it does not rule out that psychological harm and shadow will be left in the education process. But in modern society, we need to advocate "positive discipline" and advocate educating children in a "kind and firm" way. On the one hand, it can establish basic rules for children, on the other hand, it can maintain a very close parent-child relationship.
Second, autocratic thought. There has always been an autocratic thought in China's traditional culture, the extreme manifestation of which is Dong Zhongshu's "three cardinal guides and five permanents" (the monarch is the minister's guide, the father is the son's guide, and the husband is the wife's guide). This thought originated from the farming society and served for the maintenance of the feudal patriarchal society. This kind of thought permeates the soul of everyone in China and naturally affects our family. Great changes have taken place in modern society, from "pre-figurative culture era" to "parallel figurative culture era" and even "post-therapeutic culture era"! In order to adapt to the development of modern society, we need to advocate the concept of "democracy, equality, mutual respect and mutual learning".
Third, male chauvinism. The traditional society in China has always been that men are superior to women and women are superior to men. This concept still exists in our family to some extent. In modern families, the relationship between husband and wife is the core of all relationships. Only by establishing a close relationship between husband and wife can other relationships (including parent-child relationship, mother-in-law relationship, brother relationship, sister-in-law relationship, etc.) be established. ) establish it well. The idea of male chauvinism obviously does not conform to the development of modern society and is not conducive to the establishment of intimate relationship between husband and wife. Therefore, in modern society, we need to advocate the principle of "equality between husband and wife, mutual understanding and mutual accommodation" to deal with some problems in the family.
In a word, family culture is actually a living body, which needs constant innovation to improve, and also needs constant opening to the outside world to achieve self-transcendence! Family culture needs not only inheritance and development from generation to generation, but also innovation and development from generation to generation. Only in this way can family culture flourish!
In order to carry on the inheritance and exchange of family culture, I have the following suggestions:
First, the annual "family cultural heritage and exchange activities" need to have a person who is responsible for planning and organizing, and the time, place, host and activity plan of the activities need to be sent to the family group half a month in advance, so that everyone has sufficient time to prepare.
Secondly, last year, my uncle encouraged everyone to write a summary of the previous year and send it to the family group, and finally form a family anthology for printing and publishing. I think everyone can try to stick to this thing, so that we can record the annual development and progress of our family.
Third, use the Internet platform to create a series of courses on family culture inheritance. Everyone in the family can hold lectures or courses on the relevant platforms in combination with their own specialties and specialties. They can focus on the themes of "learning, growth, education, health and happiness" and let the excellent culture and thoughts of family members settle down in the form of courses.