This is also the magic of A Dream of Red Mansions: horizontally, it can be a mountain peak on the edge of a ridge, with different distances.
Cut the crap and talk about the eternal struggle between firewood and wear. Before the game, we must make the referee rules. How to calculate the tutor of a girl's family? I think there are three levels: the first is talent; The second is emotional intelligence, that is, being a man should know how to be measured; But the most important thing is the third: have a kind heart.
Ok, let's compare according to this law. Cai Qing and Chai Dai tied. Daiyu is spiritual and Baochai is sublime. Daiyu has "the world is proud and secluded, and the same flower blooms late"; Baochai has "good wind energy to send me to Qingyun by strength".
What about emotional intelligence? Probably many people saw these two words and decided that Sister Lin must have lost.
Actually, it's not. The book says that Sister Bao is a better person than Sister Lin, but there are only three people's comments: an old lady is modest; An aunt Zhao, that is ignorance; Another is Xiangyun. Well, I think most of them are sour. But others' attitude towards them: Li Wan has always felt sorry for Sister Lin. Tanchun is obviously closer to Daiyu than Baochai, and Baochai's sister Baoqin and Daiyu hit it off. Even Miaoyu, who thinks highly of herself, was invited by Daiyu and Daiyu to eat her own tea. It can be seen that although Sister Lin is young, she only lives on Baoyu. When she left Baoyu, she was a good family in front of outsiders. Like Baochai, she is well-proportioned and well-behaved.
For a good family, there is another key point in proper restrictions, that is, proper restrictions on men. Speaking of which, tut tut, sister Bao was shocked. One is to appear in Baoyu's garden regardless of time and place. Wen Qing, who is diligent and outspoken, can say: "She will come and sit if something happens, so that we can't sleep in the middle of the night!" ; Fierce, sitting alone in front of Baoyu's bed, embroidered Yuanyang Chinese-style chest covering, making Daiyu Xiangyun look like a fool; When talking to Baoyu, "I only said half a sentence and swallowed it." My eyes are red, my cheeks are red, and I bow my head and cry. I just want to fasten my belt. " This is a slap in the face! Very different from our dignified and virtuous sister Bao. It's sister Lin, only one layer of paper is enough from Baoyu, because the frivolous remarks of the other party are more true: "You bully me with such stupid words. Tell your uncle and aunt! " People who are really full don't know that hungry people are hungry.
So Miss Bao is a better person than Miss Lin. In fact, being a man is also a matter of shrimp and crab. Judging from the results, the only people who really want to see Sister Bao surpass herself are her own aunt, Mrs. Wang, and those who are jealous of Baoyu. On EQ and proper boundaries, Chai Dai is neck and neck.
Finally, the core factor of female tutor evaluation: kindness. In this case, even the Baochai school in A Dream of Red Mansions probably has to admit that Baochai was completely defeated. The most authoritative referee comes from Cao Xueqin himself. He wrote this sentence in Sister Bao's file summary office: "Tao is heartless and affectionate". Ruthless, utilitarian, ambitious and purposeful, these are Baochai's portraits. It was Daiyu's life. When she taught Xiangling to write poems to attack people, she did not consider her own gains and losses, but out of her true nature and kindness.
To sum up, two draws and one win, Sister Lin's tutor is better than Sister Bao's.
Therefore, the accident was not unexpected. Many people have analyzed that compared with Daiyu, Baochai is only the daughter of an upstart. This leads to the current hot word: rich nutrition. To be rich in material things, there is no shortage of twelve women. It can be said that spiritual enrichment can only be achieved by teacher Lin. Only she was educated by her beloved parents, and the rest of Baochai and Xiangyun were self-taught. In Baochai's words, when Lin Daiyu was seven or eight years old, when she was studying the Four Books and the Five Classics under the guidance of her tutor Jia Yucun, she hung out with her sisters and brothers and watched ancient songs in The West Chamber.
Speaking of which, there is another invisible keyword: father-daughter parent-child relationship. Psychologically speaking, a girl who has a good parent-child relationship with her father is more likely to form a brave and independent character. In the Biography of Baochai, Daiyu was praised by Baoyu as "Sister Lin never said such nonsense". The so-called Wang F * * is to persuade him to seek fame and fortune. But why does Sister Lin wear it, and Sister Bao and Sister Yun don't? Perhaps in the final analysis, they lack the independent personality brought by deep fatherly love.
After talking about the two female hosts, let's talk about the first female companion: Shi Xiangyun. Fans should know that this female partner is actually the real female prototype-Zhi Yanzhai, a classmate who has perfumed Cao Xueqin's tea all his life. So, how did Cao Xueqin write the mentor of the ultimate boss? It should be said: it is true.
Too bad. Sister Lin's life experience is really not miserable. Sister Yun is miserable: "Her parents rebelled when they were young", and she was born an orphan. Most of the orphans' tutors are lacking, and Xiangyun is no exception. Although as a historian, "Epang Palace can't live a whole history of Jinling in 300 years", there is never a shortage of people around her, but neither the biological father like Sister Lin nor the biological mother like Sister Bao will plan her studies, let alone take care of her meticulously. As a result, Sister Yun's appearance in the Twelve Girls' Middle School has become such a unique scenery: "Generally holding a snowsuit, she deliberately turned into a little coquettish purple." Or in the eyes of a distant relative, Aunt Li: "How come Yu's brother and Jin Qilin's sister are so clean and full, and they are still discussing eating raw meat there?" "There is a more classic Han Xiangyun shot: the drunk is lying on a stone and waking up in the crowd. Judging from the etiquette of ancient ladies, it can be considered quite indecent, and even I feel sorry for myself.
The premise of our view of family education is to put it under the humanistic environment and moral standards at that time. These things that Xiangyun did, if put on girls now, would be very cute. But in ancient times, these things, how to put it, would be looked at, admired and felt lovely by other eleven women.
But if they were themselves, they wouldn't do it. Because it doesn't match.
This is the measured side of behavior. What about the bright side? Xiangyun is very kind to everyone except one person. Only this one is Daiyu. There is no plot of Daiyu against Xiangyun in the book. Xiangyun deliberately targeted Daiyu, but it can be seen everywhere. First, Xiangyun has the most treasures. Of course, there is no lack of sincere love for Sister Bao, but in fact, it is more about girls' concern, because Baoyu's heart is in Daiyu's place, which everyone knows. Xiangyun is deliberately a little irritating and factional here. When you are angry, you deliberately make friends with your opponent. You are gentle with everyone except you and boast that everyone bypasses you. These are all tricks that a girl knows well.
Daiyu is always indifferent to Xiangyun's stab in the back. It also proves from the side that she is not narrow-minded when getting along with others, but a girl with self-restraint and tolerance.
Then, why is Sister Yun's family education so poor that everyone loves her from the old lady to Wang? There are two reasons for this. One is that she is extremely talented, as can be seen from her poems. Lu Ting improvised a poem, in which she specifically mentioned Dai Yu, Baochai and Bao Qin. She won, not lost.
Besides, she has a pure heart. This is why I even fell in love with Baoyu, and I have been openly jealous without knowing it. There is such a talented and childlike person, whose values are temporarily insufficient, but who lacks the cultivation and experience of his parents. Over time, Zhiyanzhai will definitely become a pure and exquisite woman.
So having said that, which of the three women is the first mentor of the twelve women? Neither. Daiyu is not atmospheric enough, Baochai is not kind enough, and Xiangyun is not dignified enough. The first tutor among the twelve girls is another person.
To answer another question, think about it carefully: except for the death of Daiyu and Xiangyun's parents, almost all the twelve golden hairpin in Daguan Garden belong to single-parent families. Only one is barely a parent. who is it?
The answer is Tanchun.
Cao Xueqin wrote Tanchun, which is a great event. For others in Chai Jin, he has love and pity, but he also hides his contempt for Miaoyu. Only for Tan Chun, he gave her something more precious than the love that men can give women: respect.
Because of this, it is not Daiyu's burning manuscript or Baoyu's farewell that makes my whole red chamber cry, but Tanchun's far marriage. Because of its majesty, because of its nobility, because of its wrist strength, there is a saying: I will go, stay out of it.
So, for such a respectable Tanchun, what about her mentor? In terms of talent, although she lost to Chai Daixiang in poetry, she had unparalleled foresight, so she was the first to say, "Don't be busy. There will naturally be your property day! " Such a warning; As a man, the most astute Feng Jiao once had a general evaluation of the girls in the Grand View Garden. When talking about Tanchun, he said: "Everything comes from the heart. I wonder which one will be lucky in the future. If you don't pick the right one, you can go. " Another detail reflects Tan Chun's excellence in the old lady's mind: Princess Nan 'an is a guest and wants to meet the ladies. Grandmother Jia invited four Chai Dai, only Tanchun. It's a pity that this sacrifice was really taken away. This is another story, don't say it.
Besides, it's not bad to explore spring. Dashan, she implemented the "responsibility system" in the Grand View Garden, and many women were encouraged to run towards a well-off life. Xiao Shan, on the day when "Lin Daiyu burned the manuscript to break her infatuation and Xue Baochai gave her a big gift", she was the only girl who went to accompany her dying sister Lin.
However, this wise, measured and kind Tanchun has a thorn in her heart, and that is her biological mother, Aunt Zhao. She was born to an ordinary woman and a child born to an inferior woman. Because of this, she became a person who abides by class etiquette. When it comes to the distinction between honor and inferiority, it has become her most sensitive moment and her most unfriendly moment.
Nevertheless, considering all aspects, Tanchun is still the girl with the highest tutor score among the twelve girls, so Cao Xueqin gave her the best result: she became the second queen of Jiafu, and she was not as short-lived as Yuan Chun.
In addition to the above, there are several girls in the garden: Yingchun, a girl raised by her stepmother, timid and inferior; Xichun, a girl raised by her brother and sister-in-law, is a typical sister-in-law, naive and selfish; There are also people who are not in the zodiac: Xia Jingui, who is rich but crooked, and Xing Xiuyan, who is poor but still natural and graceful. Later, Xing Xiuyan married Baochai's cousin Xue Pan, a man with a family, good looks, morality and ability to handle affairs. I can't think of the second one.
Oh, yes, there is another one that I have to mention: Miaoyu. Cao Xueqin confessed by Baoyu: "Daughters are made of water and men are made of mud." When he writes about girls, he also carries a pearl-like praise spirit. Only two of them were written by him in a sarcastic way, and one of them was Miaoyu. Look at Miaoyu's verdict: "If you want to be clean, why clean?" That's ridiculous! There are almost no girls who don't think about spring in the Grand View Garden, and Miaoyu is the most serious and respectable one. So her final outcome is that the dirtiest one was caught by hooligans, and she "finally fell into a quagmire". It can be seen that the girl's family education is extremely important, and that is sincerity, which is the premise of all virtues.
Who is the other girl that Cao Xueqin doesn't like? The answer is obvious:-attack people. If Cao Xueqin just doesn't like Miaoyu, he hates attacking people. All the girls in the Grand View Garden add up, and no one has attacked anyone.
Women have been together since ancient times. People are not vegetation, who can be ruthless? A little disgust only shows that he is a layman. But where is the boundary between the laity and the wicked? Now, not directly in the purpose, but in action, to do things that hurt others. So, when he saw the end of A Dream of Red Mansions, Gao E also got the news that Xiren pretended to sleep with another man, and he really couldn't help laughing.
Yes, a dream of red mansions, twelve women in Jinling, a dream of red mansions. As a former teenage girl and now a teenage mother, sumup's experience:
First, A Dream of Red Mansions is really beautiful. It's really beautiful. This is the first book at all times and in all countries.
Second, the mentor of girls, talent and life are the table, kindness and sincerity are the foundation. Be kind to others, whether it's sincerity or self-protection. This matter is like a reef by the sea, which will always surface with the passage of time;
Third, shrewdness is a neutral word, not a necessity for girls' family education. Raise a rich girl and show her, but "knowing" is better than watching.
Fourth, parent-child relationship is very important. Parents are better than no parents, and parents are better than single parents;
Fifth, the material conditions are sufficient, and the probability of girls having a good tutor is high, but it is not a necessary condition. Only with virtuous parents and good friends can a good girl be raised.
6. Finally, there are some things in life, so we should stick to them all the time. No matter how bloody parents are, they can't replace God. Fate is ultimately resigned.