? What can we do for ourselves and our families during this special holiday? It is to allow each other’s spiritual immune systems to be better built.
Maybe it can create a better home environment, or maybe the different flavors of aromatherapy bring physical and mental pleasure. Maybe it’s savoring every sip of hot tea rolling on your tongue. Maybe it’s cooking a delicious meal together as a family. Maybe it’s to unpack a good book and read it slowly. Maybe it’s feeling the rhythm of a piece of music. Maybe it’s a movie the family wants to watch together. Maybe it’s being with your child and being like your child again. Maybe, there are too many maybes, don’t wait any longer. Now we can have a good rest, study quietly, and have warm company.
If you really want to wait. Then let’s wait until the grass grows and the orioles fly, and everything recovers, and we’ll see how we make good use of this time to make ourselves better.
I know that during this long holiday, we have a lot more time to see life, and we have picked up many hobbies again, and at the same time we have enjoyed ourselves. The eighteen types of martial arts are constantly increasing, and there is always one that suits you. If you are not convinced, try it.
Mu Xin said that the moonlight used to be very slow, a bit leisurely, and a bit lazy. I spent the entire evening with a cup of tea, watching the sky full of stars in my half dream.
Then I invite you to choose a comfortable position to sit down, quietly, and listen to me slowly. The topic I share today is the flavor of life. It’s a little insight into my life. Life is full of expression, and so is food.
The dining table is daily life. It carries not only food and taste, but also the relaxed and comfortable communication between family members at this time, allowing us to learn more about each other's world.
Whether it is the fast pace in normal times or the slow pace during holidays, there is no absolute good or bad. Everything in the world is yin within yang, and yang within yin. With the fast pace, we will cherish the leisurely pace of the slow pace more. With the relief of slow tempo, we will also appreciate the rhythm of fast tempo. What matters is how we find our own balance and harmony.
Put aside the judgment of good and bad, find the flexibility to relax, and happiness will continue to flow.
What wakes the baby up every morning is not a dream, but the responsibility of the parents. Rubbing my hazy sleepy eyes and walking into the kitchen, does this count as my love passing through the long dark night and waking up and blooming at dawn?
Every day is a great day, the key is how you create and treat it. I always remember one sentence. Happiness should not be a reward hanging at the end. It is an occasional light on the road. Well, a little light can dispel the darkness. Just like for me, who can’t cook, cooking is really nerve-wracking and nerve-wracking. I am secretly happy that I have a child who dares to try new things. No matter what weird things I make, the child is extremely supportive. Gradually, plate presentation became my hobby.
Quickly prepared a plate of tomato fried noodles. Boil the noodles until half cooked, drain them, add olive oil and stir evenly. Sweet and sour tomatoes, fried and fragrant eggs, shredded, waiting for the children to take their seats. After the children had washed up, they immediately smiled happily when they saw the fried noodles and fun fruit platter on the table. A happy mood to start a new day.
For children, the taste of food is definitely not the most important thing. Every day has more surprises, more sweet expectations, happiness and beauty. Isn’t this a gift of life to us? Because having children makes our lives more complete and they bring us so much happiness. Here we should thank our children.
Children look forward to their mother making strange food every day. For her, it was very interesting. Time just slips slowly through the fingers, which is good.
To be a qualified parent, love alone is not enough. You also need to understand and share your children’s views and feelings. Help them deal with negative emotions. Such as: anger, sadness and fear. In this way, we can build a bridge of trust and love between ourselves and our children, making our children happier people.
Three special times when children have abnormal emotions:
1. When the child is unreasonable
? When the child cries because his unreasonable demands are not met. When a situation arises, you must not change your position because you feel distressed. You can walk over, squat down slowly, and say to him in a soft and gentle tone: "Baby, you look a little unhappy? Seeing you like this makes me feel bad!" Share his emotions like this, and At first, the child may refuse your care. You can walk away (he can see you) and tell him to calm down first, then come back later and still talk to him in the same gentle way; or you can quietly talk to him. Sit there with him, if he is willing to let you sit there with him, don't talk, just stay with him quietly. In this way, show your child that you are firm on your stance on things; but in terms of emotions, you are willing to share with him because you understand and care about his feelings. You can even tell your child that you are sad when he is unhappy because you feel sorry for him. But his request is unreasonable and cannot be agreed to. In this way, you can slowly change your child's emotional patterns so that he gradually learns more effective ways to deal with the same situation.
2. When breaking up with a beloved thing
When a beloved toy is accidentally broken, damaged or lost, the child will inevitably be anxious, crying or sad. It is also the best time to educate him emotionally.
Children have no awareness of the value of time and money. A toy bought for only a few yuan may be his most beloved. Once it breaks, his sadness is no less than that of an adult who suddenly loses something worth tens of thousands of dollars. However, adults often don't understand this and say to a crying child: "If it's broken, it's broken." Well, it’s not worth anything, just throw it away and buy another one, don’t cry anymore!” As a result, the child will cry more sadly or lose his temper. Because he felt that his parents did not understand his inner pain at all. Since a child cries over a broken toy, it means that the value of the toy is so great to him that he should cry over losing it. Parents should affirm and accept his emotions: "I see you are so sad, it must be because you like this toy very much. Come on, baby, tell me how you feel now!"
After guiding the child to express his inner emotions, you should provide him with some necessary explanations to help him understand:
(1) All the beautiful things in the world will eventually part ways. Just like: the most beloved toys, pets, the earth, the blue sky, the earth, our relatives, dad, mom, grandpa, grandma, and you.
(2) Therefore, when you are with him, you should treat him well, enjoy the happiness and benefits he brings to you, and cherish the fun and time with him.
? 3. When you are furious
Sometimes children are really naughty and naughty, making you furious. If you don't control it in time, you may scold the child indiscriminately or even beat him. As a result, parents are relieved, the parent-child relationship is damaged, and the child's young mind may be traumatized.
When parents notice signs of anger coming, the most effective way is to ask the parents to take away the child, or to leave the "place of incident" themselves, and then: (1) Do it more than 10 times deep and long Breathe (2) Tighten and then relax your muscles several times (3) Go for a walk for 10 minutes (4) Say to yourself: "I will stay calm", and then think back to the past when you were very calm, or recall A relaxing and happy time.
Seeing that parents can control themselves from losing their temper is a good role model for children. You can also teach this calming technique to your child so that he can learn to be the master of his own emotions from an early age.
So how to deal with emotional children? I have summarized the following points:
1. Help children recognize emotions
The first step in managing emotions is to be able to identify various emotions: excitement, disappointment, Pride, pride, loneliness, fear, expectation, worry, etc., constantly enrich the child's emotional vocabulary. Nowadays, many parents are interested in "sexual love" with their children. In fact, the function of emotion is to help children realize their specific feelings at that time. But sometimes when a child is very angry, he will be disgusted with this kind of emotion recognition and will not listen at all. We can let him calm down first, and after the child calms down, we can go back and talk to him about his feelings just now. The more emotions a child can recognize, the more clearly he can express them, and expressing his emotions accurately is the beginning of processing emotions. Only by being able to express can he communicate and think of solutions. Sometimes you just need to express it and the emotion will be resolved.
2. Taste beautiful things with your children
Pay more attention to the beautiful things in life and add positive elements to yourself. My little method is as follows:
(1) Point out to your children all the details in life that are worth savoring at any time.
For example: observe the color of the sunset after school every day. Sometimes the sunset is pink, sometimes it is golden. What is the sunset in the eyes of children? My daughter said that the sunset is like a sea of ??red, like a huge elephant, sometimes it is a plate of delicious donuts, sometimes it is a cup of grapefruit yogurt, etc. Keep these bits and pieces of beauty in your heart .
(2) To store memories and prolong the beauty, that is to take photos, videos, sketches, write diaries, record and archive the things in life that you think are good, beautiful and like, and often watch and review these with your children. Beautiful moments. To improve the quality of taste, it is necessary to cultivate the habit of children doing things with full concentration and concentration, that is, to "focus" on everything they do.
(3) Sharing
Don’t force children to share. Encourage children to take the initiative to share, so that they can feel the fun. The reason why a child is sometimes reluctant to share is because he still lacks a sense of security about ownership, has limited logical ability, and feels that the environment is uncontrollable and unpredictable. Sometimes very young children can also take the initiative to share, even if they give you a look at their toys.
3. Affirm positive character and character at any time
4. Recognize and emphasize the sense of growth
For children, growth is everything to them , so it is more important.
Whenever a child makes progress, we point it out in time, let him see it, and tell him, do you remember, what you were like last year and last month, you can do this now! Progress, improvement, and growth can best reflect a child's own value.
5. Cultivate hobbies and provide opportunities to get involved in doing things
6. Occasionally write a gratitude diary and a diary of good deeds. Look back on the things you are grateful for on this day and the things that make you proud.
7. Don’t engage in emotional kidnapping
Parents should not intimidate or threaten. Parents should be responsible for their own emotions, and they should also teach their children to be responsible for their own behaviors and emotions.
8. Accept your child’s negative emotions, whether they are good or bad.
9. Give children the opportunity to deal with negative emotions
Things that our parents should pay attention to when dealing with children with emotions:
1. Pay attention to the emergence of children’s emotions , thinking this is a good opportunity to strengthen communication relationships.
2. Do not draw random conclusions about the feelings expressed by the children, and guide the children to express their inner feelings.
3. Accept the reasons and emotions seen from the child’s perspective, and use words to express understanding of the child’s views and feelings.
4. Understand the crux of the problem with your children and find solutions together.
5. Be willing to think and tell your children: Emotions let us know that things have positive value that can help us.
6. Express your opinions without using critical language or attitude, but be able to accept the facts, find alternatives, and make future plans.
Teach children how to deal with emotions:
1. Catharsis method: Vent emotions in a way that is least destructive and does not affect others.
(1) Hit the sofa, pillow, and backrest (but use with caution for children who like to hit others)
(2) Tear paper
2. Talking method < /p>
4. Transfer method
Such as: watching the scenery, listening to music, exercising, doing your own hobbies, thinking about good and positive things, tasting good things, etc.
For negative emotions: Analyze and think more, think of more solutions, and complain less, which will help resolve the emotions. For positive emotions: try to analyze less and feel more, as a whole.
I often hear people say that women should be good in the hall and in the kitchen. This is definitely not me, haha. Although his cooking skills are poor, he prepares meals carefully for the children with a good mood every day. That's enough.
In fact, let us change the focus of looking at the problem, and you will find that the parts we did not accept before actually have qualities worthy of recognition. For growing children, only by accepting and embracing changes can parents regain a stable parent-child relationship. This is a good start. Thumbs up for every parent who is willing to change for their children. In the process of educating children, parents must be moderate. While letting your children feel your love, you must also take a firm stand on issues of principle and restrain your children. Don't easily break your principles and throw the rules behind just because your child is acting coquettishly or crying. When facing your child's bad behavior and unreasonable demands, use a kind and firm attitude to help your child clarify the boundaries of her behavior and let her know the pros and cons.
When we put all our energy into one person, we tend to neglect ourselves. In the end, these extremely high expectations will become pressure to bind the other party. Everyone has the instinct to move towards happiness and to escape from pain. When the other person faces pressure and instinctively flees or resists, a sense of grievance and disappointment will arise within us. Sometimes, this emotion manifests itself in the form of anger.
? You have to remember that we are role models for our children. This means that we must learn to be cheerful and easy-going with people and things. Learn to be honest, learn to affirm yourself, and have the ability to build your own life. We must remember to bid farewell to the role of victim and take responsibility for ourselves. When we love others, we must not forget ourselves. We can lose anyone's love, but we must not lose our own love. Give yourself some exclusive time every day, it is your own secret garden. At the same time, we must also understand that if the father or mother is unhappy, the children dare not be happy. Sometimes their confrontation is actually a deep love. Because they all want their parents to be happy. Just like we will express our love with anger without knowing it. When everything is seen, the heart will be replaced by softness. We must also believe that every parent has done a good enough job within his own limitations. All these anxieties and guilts have deep love hidden within them. You will never possess or be possessed, because in love, you are already satisfied.
Who said that delicious food must be a feast for gluttons? Those homely dishes with the warm taste of home are the most soothing. Just like the happiness we want, it may never be complicated, and some heartbeat is enough.
The early morning sun shines softly in, releasing little stars and caressing Peppa Pig's face gently. Under the green light and shadow, the Holy Loaf exudes silver light.
It is in these daily life, wandering in the gaps of time, quietly accompanying, silently dedicating one's own strength, all these become the bright sunshine in life.
Fun is the highest purpose of childhood life. May we always be free and unrestrained as children. Every child shines with his or her own inner light. As long as the children can feel the excellent qualities in them. Seeing hope for a better future is a good source of growth. If you want to inspire courage in your children. There is something to be encouraged about in any situation. The secret is to focus on the positive and then work on the problem together. This will be more effective than direct criticism, accusation, preaching and punishment. If you don’t believe me, try it. Regarding encouragement, I would also like to say that when a child shows fear, you need to tell her: Even warriors are afraid sometimes, and this is nothing. True bravery is not not being afraid, but being afraid while facing it.
I wish all the children to experience as much as they want, let themselves go, and pursue the beauty in their hearts bravely without compromising.
There are times when old mothers are at their wits end. I didn’t have any ideas before cooking, but I suddenly had an idea while cooking. A little idea popped into my head, and a weird meal was ready. I hope that meals that do not follow cooking rules can become the most valuable memories in children's hearts and the richest, most interesting and delicious nutrition. Is the happiness we give them as adults what they want? What we try our best to satisfy is the child's sense of value and belonging, which are the child's lowest real needs.
Think about how many times, we are always blinded by our children's "inappropriate behavior". Is “inappropriate behavior” the child doing something bad? No, it's just behavior that adults consider inappropriate. As our child grows, we understand more and more the abilities and strengths she possesses. So calm down and observe your children carefully.
Discover her true feelings, identify her real needs, use a kind and firm way to connect first, and then correct, you will become more and more calm. I think we parents need to be encouraged.
A long time. Every morning, I would be woken up by a knock on the door. It turns out that it was the children who brought us breakfast. The happy old mother and old father could finally have a meal in bed, feeling warm in their hearts. Time flies by in a blur, and it’s 2082. In fact, from the first time I heard the knock on the door. At this time, my first thought was whether I should get up and do it with her. But the second and third thoughts followed, forget it, let her go. Wondering what she would do? I'm lazy today. There's nothing wrong with it, it's pretty good if you eat it ready-made. As soon as the idea came to fruition, he stayed safely in the bedroom.
Hearing the sizzling sound and the clatter of dishes coming from outside, I became more and more curious. After a while, the children came in with three plates. She was a little shy, but looked at us expectantly and happily. Although we know that the breakfast she made does not look so beautiful and may not taste the best, in the hearts of parents, it is better than all the delicacies in the world.
Dad said to her exaggeratedly: Wow, this is breakfast you made completely independently. It looks good and you are so capable. I also happily said to her: Baby, Mom is so surprised. I can eat the breakfast you made without having to worry about it. I am so happy. Thank you, my baby. When the child heard this, his eyes became brighter, and with a smile on his lips he said: I will do better tomorrow. I said, "Mom, I admire you so much. I think your self-care ability and hands-on ability are very strong, my hard-working child." The children's smile became even stronger and urged us to get up and have breakfast quickly.
While eating the breakfast she made, I also got my own harvest. It turns out that if we fully let go and trust our children, they will surprise us. At the same time, it also allows the child to feel her own confidence. At least when it comes to making breakfast.
Every skill is from not knowing, to a little bit, and then to proficiency. Just like in the field we are exploring, why not? Only starting is the first step forward. Who is to say what we teach our children. Children are really here to heal us. An affirmation, a vision that can radiate infinite possibilities for children.
Let go and let mom or dad wash it. You are still too young. You can't hold a knife without hurting yourself. There should be fewer and fewer parents saying such things to their children. Take your child to the supermarket and teach her to choose quality food. Let her help prepare meals. You can also show her the correct way to use a kitchen knife, of course you have to choose a blunt knife. These sensory experiences will enhance her interest in the flavors and textures of different foods.
Allowing children to experience and participate more can not only cultivate their sense of responsibility, but also help improve their IQ, because sensory learning is the most important learning method for young children. Analyzing problems, solving problems, and providing suggestions every time are children's innate desires and abilities. We parents should all respect her. Only by letting go with love can children have a chance to flourish.
This is unconditional love for children. If it is difficult to do, think back to the moment when the child was just born and came into this world. What were our expectations and our original intentions?
Don’t compare your child to anyone else, see her as herself. Be joyful and grateful for her presence. Don't deduct points based on your ideal image, but start from scratch.
Children are our teachers and accompany us to grow. As parents and children grow up, let growth become a comfortable awareness. Set an example for each other. Nourish each other, and you will find that time and love are the greatest magic in the world.
Bing Xin said, love is on the left and love is on the right. On both sides of life, sow seeds at any time and bloom at any time. The fragrance of flowers that embellishes this long path fills the air, making pedestrians walking through the flowers and brushing the leaves feel no pain when stepping on the thorns, have tears to shed, and feel no sadness.
Thank you all for taking the trouble to read my thoughts. Life is actually like this. Even when we are faced with chicken feathers all over the place, we must have the ability to collect the chicken feathers and make them into beautiful chicken feather blankets to sweep out the dust.
Every day is new, every day is unique. Live each day as if it were the last day of your life, and you can live more lovingly. Feel the warmth of the sun, smell the flowers, and quietly observe the bugs. Feel the magic of nature just like you did when you were a child.
It’s interesting because it’s useless. There are many things in this world, small and trivial, but they can support you through many obstacles inadvertently. No matter what age we are, we must remember not to stop growing. New every day means new every year.