Azi: If you don’t get love, you will suffer.

Article/Xie Wenjuan

-1-

That night when there was a thunderstorm on the Bluestone Bridge, A'Zhu's life was ruined and Qiao Feng's world collapsed.

But it quietly knocked on the door to the road of love in another woman's heart.

Regarding her appearance, Jin Yong wrote:

This petite and exquisite woman is Ah Zi.

She and her sister A'Zhu were both the illegitimate daughters of Duan Zhengchun and Ruan Xingzhu, and they were given to others to raise soon after they were born. There is also a bright red character "Duan" tattooed on her shoulder, and the golden lock around her neck is engraved with: "Bamboos by the lake, full of green, bring peace and joy."

These twelve words convey the helplessness and expectations of her parents, as well as everything about her life experience.

She appeared on the shore of Xiaojing Lake. She had a snow-white complexion and was as agile as a star. She seemed lively and cute, but in fact she was cruel and vicious. As soon as he came up, he disturbed Chu Wanli's fishing. He stabbed several fish to death, but then threw them back into the lake randomly.

Qiao Feng scolded her for being cruel, and she was even more mischievous and full of tricks.

When Chu Wanli died in the battle to protect her father, instead of showing any trace of sadness, he mocked:

When Duan Zhengchun and Duan Yanqing were having a fierce fight and almost couldn’t stand it anymore, everyone present Everyone wanted to help, but she giggled and said:

Cold and cold-blooded. Cunning, cunning. This is her nature. Whether he is a loyal person or a biological father, he is nothing in her eyes.

The only person who made her put down her hostility was her sister A'Zhu.

The first time Azi saw A'Zhu, she jumped to her side, took her hand, and said with a smile:

For a person who is used to seeing her, For the little witch who knows how to intrigue and scheming, this may be the first time in her life that she has shown affection for someone.

So, when she was sneaking under the bluestone bridge and watching her sister pretending to be her father and finally died in Qiao Feng's hands, she was probably more shocked than just a little sad.

She originally wanted to see a good show, but unexpectedly she witnessed Qiao Feng's regretful guilt and unforgettable attachment to his sister.

She grew up in the Xingxiu Sect. She lived a difficult life and was extremely self-centered. She had never experienced all kinds of tenderness in the world, and she had no idea that there was such a touching love.

Especially, when she saw Qiao Feng holding A'Zhu's body for a long time and unwilling to let go, and when she saw Qiao Feng digging two holes and wanting to bury him together with A'Zhu, her heart felt... She sighed with emotion: "How passionate she is!"

Perhaps at that time, she secretly fell in love with this affectionate man Qiao Feng.

It wasn’t until many years later that she finally revealed her true feelings:

I don’t know where my love started, but it goes deeper and deeper.

However, Azi is destined to have a difficult time falling in love with someone she shouldn't love.

-2-

A'Zhu's entrustment before his death was like owning a Shangfang sword to A'Zi. From now on, she had a legitimate reason to stay with Qiao Feng.

She followed Qiao Feng to find Madam Ma, but she ruined her appearance, severed her veins, and caused her to die tragically in shock. In the end, she ruined Qiao Feng's good deeds and lost her enemies.

Qiao Feng got angry and wanted to beat her, but said, "My sister has been beaten to death by you, so why does it matter if you beat me to death again?" He was so angry that he had no answer and strode away.

Qiao Feng was going to Yanmen Pass. She said she was going to Jinyang, and they happened to be going the same way. When he first refused to take her with him, she tried every possible means to get his attention. He didn't hesitate to pretend to be dead in the snow, but he hid a poisonous needle in his mouth, hoping to cripple Qiao Feng and stay together for the rest of his life.

When Qiao Feng saw through her trick, he accidentally hit her with a wave of his palm and hurt her. Unexpectedly, this played into his heart and gave her a chance to stay by his side.

Those days of recovering from injuries were perhaps the happiest time in Ah Zi’s life.

Jin Yong wrote in the original work that in the autumn of the second year after Ah Zi was injured, Qiao Feng often took Ah Zi to ride horses to relax and took good care of her all day long. And it is: "Azi leaned on Qiao Feng's chest without spending any effort."

This may not matter to Qiao Feng, a rough man. But for Ah Zi, who was just beginning to fall in love, it was undoubtedly fatal. The warmth in that chest was enough to burn her entire life.

Therefore, she will have the satisfaction of seeking kindness and receiving kindness, and will express her love directly: "I would rather be unable to move forever, and you would stay with me like this every day."

Falling in love at first sight is romantic, but falling in love over time is also infatuated.

If Azi fell in love with Qiao Feng's deep love for A'Zhu at the beginning, she longed that she could also have such a life-or-death love. Then, later on, she gradually understood that this indomitable hero actually had a tender side, so this love became even deeper.

As she said herself, "Brother-in-law, I didn't understand why my sister likes you so much, but I finally understood."

Because of envy, I am attached to you. Because I understand, I love deeply.

Azi’s infatuation for Qiao Feng was not overwhelming as soon as it started, but it was hard to extricate herself bit by bit.

In the end, not being able to love has become an obsession.

Just like a rose with thorns, she is greedy for its beauty, but the tighter she holds on, the deeper it will be pricked and the more painful the prick will be. Until the body is covered with scars and no skin is left intact.

-3-

Azi followed Qiao Feng to the Jurchen and Liao Kingdoms, accompanying him through life and death, and enjoying his heroic halo.

To her, Qiao Fengyi was a man of strength and steel, the best martial arts master in the world, and a rare infatuated person in the world.

She had been by his side for so many years, been saved by him in danger several times, and had been cared for by him, but the only thing she could not get was his love.

For this reason, she was distressed, entangled, and melancholy. She was like a willful child who did a lot of mischief just to attract his attention.

She even took advantage of You Tanzhi's infatuation and did not hesitate to use him as a toy to vent her anger. First, he was teased as a kite, and then he was transformed into a man with an iron head and teased with a lion. In the end, in order to practice evil martial arts, he did not hesitate to let him test the poison on his own body.

She hates You Tanzhi's deep affection for her, but she also understands that she is not the same?

So, when Qiao Feng asked her to accept You Tanzhi and accept his love, she was both broken and resentful.

There was such a dialogue in the original work:

Some people can’t tell what is good about him, but no one can replace him.

Just like A'Zhu to Qiao Feng, although she died, she will always live in his heart. Just like Qiao Feng to A Zi, although he has never loved her, he will always place his obsession on her.

It’s just that people are often like this sometimes. The easier it is to get it, the less they care about it; and the more unobtainable it is, the harder they try to get it.

So, in the palace of the Liao Dynasty, in order to keep Qiao Feng's heart forever, Azi listened to Concubine Mu's slander and tricked him into drinking the so-called "holy water", which almost killed him.

After I realized it, I regretted my stupidity and ignorance, and even more hated my stubbornness.

But what can be done? She has no way out from the road of unrequited love.

In those dark days when she was blind, she looked forward to returning to Qiao Feng all the time. Even if he doesn't love her, she is still willing to be by his side. Even if she can no longer see, she still wants to hear him talk and feel his breath.

That day has finally arrived. In the Shaolin Temple, Qiao Feng rescued Ah Zi from Ding Chunqiu. She knew it was him just by the sound of his voice, and she couldn't wait to rush up and hug him.

No matter how time passes, no matter the pain and sorrow, she just wants such a warm chest to heal the scars of her life.

Later, Qiao Feng was in danger and was rescued from the iron prison by everyone. He accidentally said: "Are Azi and the others out of danger?"

It was just so shallow. One sentence was enough to fill Ah Zi with joy, "Brother-in-law, you still care about me."

At the end, outside Yanmen Pass, when Qiao Feng decisively died with two broken arrows, Ah Zi Zi did not hesitate for a moment, then rushed forward and hugged him tightly. Just like how Qiao Feng held A'Zhu on the Bluestone Bridge back then.

The moment Qiao Feng fell, she felt despair.

She stretched out her right hand and suddenly dug out her two eyeballs. She did not want to owe You Tanzhi any kindness, she just wanted to easily lead her brother-in-law on the road to hell.

She hugged Qiao Feng and jumped down into the abyss. She could finally stay together with her beloved for a long time.

I hate that I am not the same as you, but I hope that I will die with you.

We cannot love each other in life, but we seek the same point in death.

Every time I see this scene, I sigh.

A'Zhu's love is sincere and selfless. And Ah Zi's love is as passionate as fire and will last until death.

The two sisters fell in love with the same man, but in the end they both died violent deaths.

However, A'Zhu and Qiao Feng are in love, while A'Zi and Qiao Feng are wishful thinking.

Whether this is luck or misfortune is really hard to describe.

-4-

There are many sufferings in the world, and "not getting what you want" is one of them. AhZi's disaster lies in this.

She is not a gentle and kind woman in the traditional sense. On the contrary, she was abandoned since she was a child. She grew up in a bloody environment and learned to be vicious. She has her own rules of survival and her own value system.

She has experienced the ups and downs of the world and has never tasted the warmth of the world. It was Qiao Feng's unswerving love for A'Zhu that opened the door to her inner world and let her know that there is such pure true love in the world.

She was trapped in it and couldn't extricate herself.

In particular, Qiao Feng is an indomitable hero with unparalleled martial arts skills, chivalrous integrity, and simply fulfilled all her good expectations.

Before meeting Qiao Feng, her world was one of life and death.

But she saw the "truth, goodness and beauty" in the world from Qiao Feng, and from then on, she regarded him as a beam of light in the long night.

She chased all the way and never stopped.

In the process of chasing, his paranoia and weirdness were clearly exposed. She harmed others and acted willfully, trying to attract Qiao Feng's attention and increase her own sense of existence.

But she didn’t know that Qiao Feng loved the kind and gentle A’Zhu, not the violent and perverse one at all.

She thought that as long as she tried her best to love, she would get it. But I have never reflected on whether I really know how to love?

One thought turns into obsession, one thought turns into delusion.

If you don’t get love, you will suffer.

The road is hard, where is the way back?