"Have you had any contact with your uncle's cousin in the past two years?" my mother asked me.
"No, I contacted her occasionally in the past two years, but now I don't know what to say." I answered honestly.
"Hey!" There was a trace of disappointment in the mother's eyes, and she sighed deeply, but said nothing more.
Seeing my mother’s expression, I wanted to comfort her, but it turned into a bunch of complaints: “Every time I contact him, I ask a question and he answers, or simply I don’t reply. I do this once or twice. When it happens more often, I get annoyed. Why do I have to rush him to talk? He is older than me and is my cousin. Doesn’t someone who is almost 40 years old not even understand this bit of human sophistication? ?"
My mother did not answer my question, with a lost expression on her face. She did not speak for a long time, fearing that she would be sad, so she quickly stopped talking.
When I was a child, I didn’t have a deep impression of my uncle’s family because every time I went to my grandma’s house during the Chinese New Year, I could never see them. Moreover, my mother, brother-in-law, aunt and uncle would quarrel whenever I mentioned my uncle.
When my grandma and grandpa passed away, my uncle did not dare to attend their funeral. At a young age, I knew the most unpleasant saying in the countryside for unfilial children: "If you don't live, you will not be buried." The thing about their older generation is probably because after my uncle got married, my aunt wanted to separate the family and live alone without taking on debts. Of course my grandma and grandpa didn't agree. At that time, my brother-in-law was not married yet, so they ended up breaking up. Grandpa and grandpa made it very clear to him: "Sever the parent-child relationship, you don't need to be filial when you are alive, and you don't need to be beaten when you die!"
My mother did not tell the specific details, but at the annual family gathering, As long as I talk about my uncle, I will definitely end up unhappy.
The mother and aunt advocated that this family of relatives should be reunited. What happened in the past has passed, mainly because of the cowardice of the uncle and the strength of the aunt. Now that the old man has passed away, there will be no more Other disputes.
The uncle and the aunt disagreed life and death, and every time he would bring out his deceased grandma and grandpa, and tearfully complain about all the misdeeds of the uncle, and said that forgiving him would be a reversal of his previous behavior, which would be tantamount to him committing a crime. There is no penalty for making mistakes. This is unacceptable and there is no justice.
But every year during the Qingming Festival, my uncle still went to visit the grave of his grandma and grandpa, and more than one person in the village saw him. He often got drunk and cried like a child to confess his sins at the grave of his grandma and grandpa. mistake.
One year during the Qingming Festival, my mother and the others went to visit the grave and happened to meet my uncle. The uncle didn’t say anything, he hugged his aunt and cried loudly, and the people around him also shed tears.
Family love is like this, breaking bones and connecting tendons, so my mother and the others forgave him, and relatives began to move around. My uncle asked my cousin to come to my house every year to pay New Year's greetings.
In those years, my mother’s happiest thing during the Chinese New Year was waiting for her cousin to arrive on the fifth day of the new year. As soon as my cousin came, he sat on the warmest kang, brought tea, water, melon seeds and peanuts, and stuffed them into his hands. Those were also the few days when I was close to my cousin.
As we gradually reached the age of getting married and starting a family, for some reason, my eldest aunt began to come out and inquire in detail about the marriage partners of each child, but without exception, they were all ordinary people, no dignitaries or even celebrities. Not even a rich man.
My cousin was already in our current city at that time. After graduating from college, he was assigned to work in school logistics. Because the job was not very good and there was no development prospect, my eldest aunt met me and my eldest sister who also lived in this city. , they will ask if there are any relatives or friends in the husband’s family who can transfer their jobs.
My eldest sister and I are both ordinary migrant workers, and our husbands are also married. We are powerless, but our aunt who has been living in the countryside misunderstood that we are unwilling to help them.
My aunt began to alienate us again, and my cousin stopped coming to our house to pay New Year greetings. My mother was wondering, why was this family relationship broken again?
The next contact was from my aunt on her own initiative: My uncle had cerebral thrombosis and his family was in financial difficulty and needed to borrow money.
My mother and aunt lent them the money without saying a word. In the days when my uncle first suffered from cerebral thrombosis, he was unable to walk and speak clearly due to half of his body. Unable to accept it, I was always depressed and unhappy, unwilling to go out, and didn't even take a few bites of food.
This frightened my aunt, who put me under the greatest mental pressure while guarding the patient. She often called my mother every three days. My mother took my uncle to our home and took him to the hospital. The patient in the village who had suffered from cerebral thrombosis chatted and slowly enlightened him. The uncle came out of the pain and was in much better spirits. Even my eldest aunt lamented: My sisters are the most caring, and they are always there to help me no matter what happens.
After my uncle's condition stabilized, my aunt began to show her true colors again. She would never contact any of her relatives unless she called her.
My mother suddenly couldn't adapt to it. In fact, after so many years of her efforts, I always feel that her contribution is unilateral. If others need it, they will contact you, and if they don't, they will leave it alone. to the side. The eldest aunt's strength and the uncle's cowardice and incompetence can never be changed.
My mother knows that things are like this for the older generation and no longer complains, but every time we go back to our hometown, she always asks: "You, your eldest sister, and your cousin are all in Shijiazhuang. Do you want to get together when you are not busy?" It’s so convenient to go anywhere now.”
Every time I tell the truth, I can’t think of any reason to contact him. My eldest sister has also contacted me several times, but my cousin will only reply: He knows, and then. There is no more then.
I still don’t understand this kind of forced family affection, but I won’t be sad because Da Xiao and they are not close. But my mother always kept this matter in mind and couldn't let it go.
When I was a child, my mother would always talk about her childhood, and she would feel sad when she mentioned my uncle: He was always beaten when he was a child, not because he was disobedient, but because he stole sweet potato stalks from the production team's field. , and other things in the fields. My grandfather was a selfless captain of the production team, but he didn't care about the lives of the children. They were all so hungry that they were so thin that they couldn't even walk. Only the uncle, regardless of his personal safety, gave the stolen things to his grandmother and secretly cooked for his mother, aunt and others. If it weren't for my uncle, he might have starved to death.
As time goes by, everyone gradually forgets these old-fashioned past events. Especially in this era when we can already have enough to eat, who will still remember them when we are old.
My mother is old and won’t tell me anymore. But every time I hear her ask, do I have any contact with my cousin? I couldn't remember anything about my uncle and cousin in my mind, but I remembered my childhood. When I was devouring the food that my two sisters were reluctant to eat, my mother always said: When you grow up, I will always remember you. Sister's kindness should never be forgotten in your lifetime!