Notes

Status anxiety

Alain de Botton

45 notes

Preface of Chinese version

& gt& gt Most of the time, people's dominant thinking is completely opposite: it is not only normal but also wise to have low expectations of life.

The first part is the cause of anxiety.

& gt& gt Few people just pursue elegance and taste blindly, few people just indulge in luxury and enjoyment, but each of us yearns for a dignity of survival.

& gt& gt Being paid attention to, cared for, sympathized with, praised and supported by others is the value we want from all actions.

Self-knowledge is probably a lifelong subject. Because our life is fluid, we change ourselves unconsciously, which makes it more difficult for us to know ourselves.

& gt& gt What we know about ourselves depends largely on what others think of us. Our self-feeling and self-identity are completely subject to the evaluation of the people around us.

Chapter III Excessive Expectations

People are born unequal, and we can't choose whether to be born, let alone when and where to be born. The only equality is probably that everyone goes to the same destination with death.

& gt& gt We are all equal before God, but this does not mean that we can pursue equality between people on earth.

& gt& gt Those who believe that everything in this world is only a short prelude to the eternal world may think that the success of others in this world is only a flash in the pan, so it is not easy to be jealous.

Chapter IV Elite Worship

& gt& gt The impact of poverty on self-esteem depends largely on the understanding and views of people around you on poverty.

It is difficult to achieve absolute fairness, just like China has a relatively unified college entrance examination, but there are still independent propositions of provinces and cities, and the scores of each province are different. Although the United States has a unified SAT test and international students have a unified TOEFL test, scores are not the only measure, and different groups will be treated differently to varying degrees, such as the recent case of Harvard University discriminating against Asians.

& gt& gt Their goal is to evaluate each student's academic and intellectual level scientifically, fairly and fairly through such elite examinations, so as to avoid school prejudice, racial discrimination and all kinds of long-standing snobbery when enrolling students in universities.

Chapter V Constraints

Life is unpredictable and full of uncertainty. We are also changing involuntarily, including ourselves and our relationship with others and the world.

& gt& gt "When you get along with the enemy, always think that one day the enemy will become friends; When getting along with friends, always think that one day friends will become enemies. "

-Labroue Yale.

& gt& gt "When you get along with the enemy, always think that one day the enemy will become friends; When getting along with friends, always think that one day friends will become enemies. "

-Labroue Yale.

Part II Solutions

Ancient Greek philosopher and representative of cynicism.

& gt& gt diogenes

If I were not Alexander, I would be Diogenes.

& gt& gt If he is not Alexander, he definitely wants to be Diogenes.

& gt& gt There is a formula in the world. What others think of us determines what we think of ourselves. Any insult, right or wrong, will make us ashamed.

& gt& gt According to philosophy, the mainstream value system sometimes unfairly humiliates some people. Similarly, sometimes it won the respect of some people unfairly. In some unfair situations, philosophy can help us build up a kind of confidence, even if we can't get praise from others, we are still qualified to win the love of others.

& gt& gt After we have a more objective and fair understanding of the value system around us, we may adopt a rational hermit attitude, without any flavor of defending our actions or narcissism.

& gt& gt What is touted as common sense should often be called ignorance of common sense, because the so-called common sense is always limited by simplification, illogicality, prejudice and superficiality: "The most absurd custom and the most ridiculous ceremony are explained in the same sentence everywhere: but it has always been like this.

Back to the topic of self-knowledge.

The key to the>& gt question is not what image we are in the randomly formed crowd, but what image we are.

Chapter II Art

& gt& gt Arnold believes that great works of art are definitely not unreasonable, but a way to help us solve the hidden tension and anxiety.

Art is art because it is always higher than life.

& gt& gt Arnold said that art is "a criticism of life".

From life, higher than life.

> > Art works-novels, poems, plays, paintings or movies-can be sublime and harmonious, and can unconsciously reveal our living conditions to us. They help guide us to know the world more correctly, prudently and rationally.

& gt& gt Only in rare cases will the advantages of others be reflected through external achievements, thus attracting our ordinary and erratic attention.

I agree that the dissemination of literary works should be two-sided, on the one hand, how the author conveys it in the interview, on the other hand, how the reader receives it. There will be a thousand Hamlets in the eyes of a thousand people, but they are all derived from Shakespeare's Hamlet.

& gt& gt The legendary failure figures in these literary works are dignified and noble, not because of their own quality and morality, but because the way we look at literary works is taught to us by the authors and recorders of these works.

This may also be a common feature of great works. A dream of red mansions, for example, will have obvious likes and dislikes at first reading. Those who like it and those who don't like it will see it clearly, and they will unconsciously label the characters in the book. The more times you read it, the deeper your feelings. The more I find that every character is intertwined with good, evil, truth and falsehood. They fought against the cruel fate with their meager strength-crying and sharing weal and woe with Wan Yan. However, even though I tried my best, I still fell into a white land. Too clean! At that time, there were no likes and dislikes. You will find that Aunt Zhao and Xue Pan, who were despised and disgusted at first reading, actually had their loveliness, leaving only a kind of compassion for all sentient beings. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why the classics can last forever.

The literary genre & gt& gt cannot exempt the role from its own responsibility. Its main achievement is to give these people in disaster-disgraced politicians, murderers, bankrupts and impulsive people-some reasonable sympathy, which ordinary people will never get.

Chapter III Politics

hahaha. It turns out that there is scientific basis for Li Jian to say that he lacks fish in his body.

& gt& gt Our bodies know what they need to stay healthy.

& gt& gt In the past, we were in a privileged state of pursuing our real needs. Although our life is simple, in the present state of life, we envy those lifestyles that have nothing to do with our personality.

& gt& gt What a happy life really needs: love for family, reverence for nature, reverence for the beauty of the universe, curiosity for others, and love for music and simple entertainment.

& gt& gt External views always make us imagine that we are climbing the steepest side of the happiness cliff. Once we climb it, we can reach a broad platform on which we can enjoy a happy life forever. No one has ever told us that once we reach the peak, we will be recalled to the bottom and fall into the depression of anxiety and desire again.

& gt& gt Life is a process in which one anxiety replaces another anxiety and one desire replaces another desire. In this way, it doesn't mean that we should never try to overcome anxiety or satisfy a certain desire, but we should understand a truth in the process of striving for it: the once-and-for-all guarantee provided by any of our goals can't be achieved according to the meaning of the goals themselves.

Chapter IV Christianity

& gt& gt The best way to filter and clear our social contact list is to think about who among our acquaintances will visit us in the hospital.

& gt& gt, focus all your energy on those relationships that can best withstand the corrosion of our identity change.

Everything in this world, except life and death, is insignificant.

& gt& gt There are some behaviors in a person's life, which, once linked with the thinking of death, will become irrelevant whenever and wherever.

& gt& gt We always sacrifice our inner peace to pursue the splendor of those fleeting worlds, and the remains can reveal the stupid nature of our actions.

& gt& gt Most of our anxiety comes from overestimating the importance of our goals and concerns. Because we overestimate what we have done, we are punished and then tortured by our ideals.

& gt& gt The best way to deal with the anxiety of low status is to feel the vastness of the world through travel-in reality or in works of art.

The fifth chapter Bohemia

& gt& gt What is the reason? Bohemians, whether living in big estates or attics, opposed the identity system of economism and elitism that appeared at the beginning of19th century from the very beginning.

Disputes mainly occur between two attitudes towards life, one is attaching great importance to worldly achievements, and the other is attaching great importance to understanding and sentiment. The bourgeoisie determines a person's social status according to his business success and public reputation. For Bohemians, the overriding priority is to be able to understand the world as an observer or creator and focus on the treasure house of feelings: art. For Bohemians, art is more important than the ability to pay for luxury houses and clothes. Those who devote themselves to Bohemian values sacrifice the sense of security provided by stable jobs and the respect that society can give them. Their purpose is to write, draw, compose music, or travel around the world, or give everything to friends and family.

& gt& gt Those people with free souls, vagrants, poets, the beat generation and some artists, who slept very late and burned their work clothes, just want to be "children of the road, watch freight trains rumble by, experience the vastness of heaven and earth, and feel the weight of ancient America".

& gt& gt A person's wealth is in direct proportion to the number of things he doesn't need in his life.

& gt& gt No matter how unpleasant the anxiety of identity is, it is still difficult for us to imagine a beautiful life completely free from it, because a person's fear of failure and losing face in front of others actually means that he has certain pursuits, expects certain results and has respect for others other than himself. Identity anxiety is the price we must pay when we admit that there are public differences between successful life and unsuccessful life.

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recommend

A book that suddenly makes you understand some long-standing puzzles. Every society will naturally form its specific so-called social mainstream values, such as the value of money pursued by commercial society now. There is no right or wrong. If you choose to cater, you may have anxiety and struggle. If you choose to follow your heart, you may need courage to minimize your material needs.

Just a choice, no regrets.