Where does our suffering come from? -after reading love yourself, it doesn't matter who you marry.

Where does our suffering come from? If you love yourself, it doesn't matter who you marry. I can't completely agree with this proposition. After all, love and marriage need a certain foundation. It is difficult for two people with incompatible personalities to get along well. If a kind person wants to live a good life with another vicious, insidious and rogue rascal, it is more likely that he will never live it. There are indeed many such little people in reality. If the topic is changed to not loving yourself, it doesn't matter who you marry. But I admire the author of this book and appreciate her point of view. I like the name of this book better than the one I changed above. Love and marriage, which bring people infinite hope, often bring us pain in the end. Why, or further extension, is not limited to our marriage. Where does the suffering in our life come from? According to the concept of Marxist philosophy we have learned, things always have a reason, and our suffering comes from contradictions. In class society, people's sufferings come from class contradictions. Speaking of non-class meetings, people still have a hard time. What happened? Oh, it turned out to be a contradiction among the people. We must eliminate these contradictions. If we can't eliminate the contradiction, we will eliminate the other party that contradicts us. So we should wipe out the landlords. If we are still suffering, we will wipe out the rich peasants. But contradictions are indeed everywhere, and there are always reasons behind the causes of suffering. There is a reason behind this reason. Even if all reactionaries are eliminated, it does not mean that our suffering is over. We eliminate old contradictions, and when new contradictions appear, we will eliminate new contradictions, hoping to finally eliminate all the root causes of pain. This is the way we think. Buddhists have an interesting way of looking at problems. Buddhism says that people are born bitter, and there are eight kinds of hardships in life: birth, old age, illness, death, resentment, resentment, separation, ambition and bitterness. People are either in this kind of suffering or in that kind of suffering, and suffering is everywhere. Buddhism believes that the existence of self is the cause of pain, and self is our identity, which makes us lose our corresponding freedom. For example, I think I am a working person now, and I can't dress casually like a student. Maybe I don't want to, but I still have to spend some time on my clothes every day. For example, when I go to college, I naturally don't want to find a job that I can do without going to college. If I go to college, my life is worse than that of some people who don't go to college. There is a funny story that you may have heard. It is said that an old monk and a young monk met a girl by the river. The girl wanted to cross the river, but her clothes were too big for her to cross, so she asked them to carry her across the river. The old monk hesitated, but the young monk still carried the girl on his back. Later, the old monk asked the young monk how he could get in touch with that woman as a monk. The young monk smiled and said, I put her down, but you haven't put her down yet. Buddhists believe that only when we reach the state of no self can we achieve true freedom. As the saying goes, bodhi has no trees, mirror has no platform, and there is nothing. Where is the dust? Our Confucian way of thinking about this issue is also quite interesting. It is said that at the beginning of life, human nature is good, which means that everyone is born with morality. Later, everyone was blinded by material desires, just like a dark cloud covering the sun, so everyone became less moral, so there was intrigue. How to solve this problem? Let's return to our true colors through enlightenment and cultivation, so as to achieve the realm that everyone stresses morality. Then the world will be peaceful. If a gentleman wants to cultivate one's morality, rule the country and level the world, he must first cultivate one's morality and cultivate one's nature, and then discipline his family well before he can rule the country and level the world. This kind of thinking at least knows to put the cause of the problem on oneself, rather than not putting the cause of the problem on others like Marxism we studied. There are many ancient plots in my culture, and I think the ancient ones are always better than the present ones. The Emperor's Internal Classic says that ancient people were still very young when they lived to 100 years old. Peng Zu in Zhuangzi Happy Travel lived for hundreds of years. Confucius often felt that he was living in an era when the ceremony collapsed and the music was broken, which meant that the past was good. He travels around the world, teaching benevolence, righteousness, morality and etiquette, hoping that everyone will return to kindness and hope. Taoism, on the other hand, thinks that it is not enough to return to benevolence, righteousness and propriety. Tao Te Ching says that virtue follows virtue, virtue follows benevolence, benevolence follows righteousness, and righteousness follows propriety. It is very reasonable to judge the cultural development of China from the perspective of Taoism, that is to say, the highest realm is Tao, and then morality. These two people only advocate benevolence and righteousness when they can't reach it, and only advocate etiquette when they can't keep the heart of benevolence and righteousness. From the perspective of Taoism, from the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, it regressed to the bottom of the Neo-Confucianism era in Song and Ming Dynasties. During this period, China pushed the four virtues and three virtues to the bottom. Whether it is Buddhism, Confucianism or Taoism, we all hope to return to that original beautiful state, but human society is always developing in a complicated direction, and moral education can't stop most people from acting in the direction of maximizing their own interests. Can we go back to ancient times? Can ancient morality still solve today's problems? Why is ancient times so beautiful? Let's talk about the relationship between man and the world. The first relationship between man and the world is that between man and nature. There are two kinds of relationship between man and nature, one is feeling and the other is understanding. In the early days, the first relationship was dominant. At this time, the relationship between man and nature is closer. Later, the relationship between man and nature will dominate, and the relationship between man and nature will become more and more alienated. For example, in the till, holding up my cup, I asked the bright moon to bring me my shadow and make the three of us. Chang 'e, Jade Rabbit, etc. It's how people feel about the moon. This feeling is so kind. Later Galileo invented the telescope and saw the moon clearly. Later, Americans landed on the moon and had a clearer understanding. When modern people see the moon, they first know that it is a big stone ball 300,000 kilometers away from you. How many beautiful imaginations can you have next? In the process of understanding nature, human beings gradually alienated nature, thus becoming lonely human beings. The second relationship between man and the world is that between man and society. There are two kinds of relationships between people and society, one is the relationship between people and acquaintances (blood relationship or human relationship), and the other is the relationship between people and strangers (contractual relationship). In the early days, the relationship between people and society was mainly based on acquaintances. For example, people within a tribe were basically related by blood. Even now, in China, a surname and a village are basically related by blood. But with the development of society, the contractual relationship between people will become more and more frequent, which will alienate people, isolate people from society and become lonely people. This sense of loneliness will become more intense in modern people. Modern people may spend more and more time interacting with strangers or half-baked people, while fewer and fewer people can talk to themselves. The development of society will inevitably lead to lonely human beings and lonely individuals. This profound loneliness urges people to find the third relationship with the world, that is, the relationship between man and God. It is difficult for people to communicate their suffering feelings and social contacts with the people around them, so they can only seek to communicate with God. At this time, religion was born. In the west, God tells people that they are guilty, not ordinary sin, but original sin, which is innate. Ever since Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, human beings have committed crimes. From then on, everyone was born guilty, and everyone was guilty. Therefore, it is natural for them to suffer, for no reason or for no reason, but God also promised people one thing, that is, God's love. The god of religion, it is omnipotent, it is unique, it knows everything, it knows everything, it is absolutely noble and kind. My family believes in Christ, and I used to believe in Christ. Religious people will pray when they encounter suffering, and will communicate their suffering with God, but they will never complain that God is unfair to them, nor will they ask God why he suffers. He loves others only because he absolutely believes that God loves him. We often hear this conversation on TV or in movies. Why not think about it for everyone? I care about others. Who cares about me? It is difficult for a person who lacks love to love. If a person does not love or love, then he has no connection with the world. Then he either hates or kills himself. Suicide is a great sin in religion, because a person's suicide means that he doesn't believe in God's love, and he has nothing to do with the world. Religion, born in western countries, is the driving force for the development of western civilization. However, there is no soil for the birth of religion in China, because our relationship with nature has always been very close, and because our social relations are mainly acquaintances, so China has no religion of its own. Foreigners often comment that China is a country without faith, which makes us very unhappy. Many people may say that China also has his own beliefs, religions and gods, and there is more than one, from the Jade Emperor to the Bodhisattva in the land temple. But in fact, there are essential differences between the gods in China and the gods in religion. China's god is just an advanced version of the earth's bureaucracy. The gods in heaven have different powers, in fact, they also have different powers on earth. Immortals are hierarchical, and the most important thing is that people and immortals can do business. For example, they want to have a boy recently, so they go to the temple to worship Guanyin. If they do give birth to a baby boy, they will make a wish with incense, tribute and even money. If you want to take the exam, go to Wutai Mountain in Shanxi to worship Manjusri Bodhisattva. If you are admitted, you have to pay a lot of money (according to Shanxi students, after the college entrance examination every year, there are many people who make wishes in Shanxi, and the money you make wishes is piled up all over the place near the Buddha statue). Our God cares about our real life, while the God in religion cares about the human soul, or the ultimate concern. I often hear my father's prayers. He prayed for the prosperity of the country and the happiness around him, but he didn't pray for anything realistic from God. He prayed for a happy heart. This is the difference between praying and worshipping bodhisattva. Our ancients also felt this profound loneliness, and Qu Yuan was a typical representative. Qu Yuan's Li Sao is talking about this kind of loneliness, while his Tian Wen is saying that the suffering in this world is really unreasonable. Just like the fate in the article, what is the punishment? . This shows that the society at that time was complicated to a certain extent, and we couldn't figure out where the root cause of suffering began, and it was often difficult to distinguish right from wrong. The society is constantly developing and becoming more complicated. After all, we don't have our own religion, but the culture (Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism) that developed later led us to go backwards, hoping to return to the original simple state. The most direct example is Tao Yuanming's Peach Blossom Garden. The people in the Peach Blossom Garden he described don't even know Han. They have lived in a simple era for a long time, and this is what our thinkers think of as the destination. The society is complex, and this retrogressive cultural guidance is obviously not enough. We ancient people are full of benevolence, righteousness and morality, while playing tricks. In the social development of China after more than 1000 years, it is more dross that creates culture. There are two classics that sum up our dross, one is Romance of the Three Kingdoms and the other is Water Margin. The former talks about how people in mainstream society (officialdom) cheat each other, while the latter talks about how people in non-mainstream society (underworld) take their lives improperly. But the problem is that our authors wrote these two books with admiration and appreciation, while our people regard these two books as classics that must be read and the yardstick of life, which shows how bad our culture is. As Lu Xun said in Diary of a Madman, when I look at history, it has no time, and the words "benevolence, righteousness and morality" are written on every crooked page. I can't sleep anyway. I read it carefully in the middle of the night before I saw the words through the gap. The word cannibalism is written all over the book! . China without faith will have more problems when it enters the modern society. Without the care of faith, fear and hatred will spread between people. We hate those who may bring us suffering, and we are afraid that we will take the side of the oppressed instead of the oppressor. The gang of four, which caused great harm, should actually be a 400 million gang. Lu Xun said that there are only two states in China: one is when slaves are firmly in control, and the other is when slaves are not allowed. I think, even in modern times, this sentence is still exaggerated, because most of us are still slaves of power, because we should always listen to leaders, not to God, not to our own souls. There are many problems in China without religion, but religion seems to bring more problems, and there is also terror. The dispute between Islam and Christianity is still the source of conflicts in the world today. that