This change makes people happy, but also a little sad. In the eyes of surprise, it is a bit unpredictable and memorable. I don't know whether people who are used to memory mean a kind of aging or a kind of childlike innocence. In the decades of life, twelve years is a moderate cycle. After all, after more than ten years, walking through the drifting dust and getting small achievements in my career can't replace life itself. She can't help but make people feel sad in the faded past, a bitter past without ups and downs. Some people say that the missed experience will be hidden in the depths of the soul, and it will be a kind of pain to think about it.
This is a wordless parting. That year happened to be the turn of the century. It was late spring, just like this May twelve years later. It was Duanyang that day.
Dragon Boat Festival has been associated with a frustrated but loyal person since ancient times. Qu Yuan, a patriotic scholar-bureaucrat who remained upright and upright, was a tragic poet who committed suicide in pursuit of nobility after failing to serve the country and make suggestions. History will always remember the unfortunate Geng Jie. Of course, I don't have that special status, and I don't have that awe-inspiring experience of saving the nation from extinction. I'm afraid I won't inject history like this, but I have a little fantasy and a little feeling about birth. A simple and romantic older child loves religion and philosophy prematurely. I remember when I was a child, I liked to think about ancient love when I was climbing the mountain during the Dragon Boat Festival. I once wrote Seven Laws: Sacrificing Qu Yuan for patriotic poets. Perhaps it is this natural complex that made me experience a parting day after graduating from college, which coincided with the Dragon Boat Festival in 2000. That year, the fifth day of the fifth lunar month happened to be the sixth of June in the solar calendar. The old is new, perhaps this indicates my new life after suffering, so I wrote this article many years later, expressing a life experience with those lush light and shadow!
After graduating from college, I left Beijing. After several hard work, I settled in a company in my old industrial city and met He Qun. At that time, as a small clerk who just left school, I was assigned to the product development department to do some translation and conversion work of foreign-related fax drawings. At that time, my thoughts probably stayed in the books of Peking University, in the pursuit of classical philosophy, and in the complex of the lake and the tower shadow. So in the environment of single dormitory at that time, in the old industrial city built of reinforced concrete everywhere, I didn't like the character of this city, and I always wanted to break free and fly back to my spiritual paradise. Therefore, during my internship in Workshop 4, I always want to escape absently, because I feel bored and hopeless. I always feel that I have nothing to do, no future and no one to love.
However, God was touched by nature's sincerity. In a casual moment, I found that beautiful girl with big eyes and a small group, just like a dream. I was unprepared and put myself in. The result is a lose-lose distance, no, it's my wishful thinking! I can't guess what he looks like. Of course, many years later, I learned through my old colleagues that she finally returned to the south and married an old Shanghai with American turtle experience. She is smart and stingy, and even a little obscene in dealing with the world. But at that time, she was a bright light, won the real beauty, and captured the beauty that I had missed from me. Isn't this the ancient and modern logic? ! It can be said that "the lovesickness of spring flowers and autumn moons has broken branches since ancient times", but I know these things are too late.
She is the head of price negotiation in the Ministry of Commerce. She is a beautiful graduate student, and her beautiful big eyes are enough to make people feel excited. I didn't know this person existed at first. It was at that time that naturally, some people were still reluctant to part with the campus in Beijing, especially they still maintained their yearning for Peking University. Faced with reinforced concrete and the main road of Singapore, they felt depressed and tried to leave several times, but this beautiful woman appeared inadvertently. Of course, not for me. It was only in my dream that I inadvertently made her the heroine. Only when you get used to the longing for a better world, can you be easily deceived and defeated by beauty. I, on the other hand, directed this scene of youth tragedy.
It was during the negotiation that the holding company wanted to buy a local mold factory. This beautiful woman, who graduated from a financial major in Jiangnan, inadvertently appeared in the accompanying "think tank" of the financial director. I sat diagonally opposite the right front with the invigilator, revealing such a heavy and white face, with a subtle smile, like a glowing angel, and my right hand was still unconsciously turning and playing with a pen. Although I have never said a word, the provocative gesture seems to announce her uniqueness and express her powerful magnetic field. What familiar faces! Especially those super thick eyebrows, distributed on the white facial skin, are enough to make a normal man look silly. The key point is that I think the arrangement of her facial features, especially those heavy eyebrows, is too similar to my face! I suddenly remembered the record in Genesis, which I was studying in my spare time. When Adam came to Eve created by God with his own flesh and blood, he sincerely lamented, "This is bone in my bones and flesh in my flesh!" " , can't help heart startled. Afterwards, I learned that she came from Baishan and Heishui, but after the college entrance examination, she went to the southeast metropolis and finished her graduate studies at the University of Finance and Economics. Although he was born in the black land of northeast China, it is estimated that he has been bathed in Shanghai culture for so many years and has probably been thoroughly remoulded. Naturally, her deep affection for people seems to be more decadent in majesty. Although the managers and directors of this old state-owned enterprise, which was revitalized by listing on Wall Street in the early 1990s, are not people who have never seen the world, they are still cautious and embarrassed in front of such a big-name beauty. After all, people represent the strength of holding companies and are the saviors of state-owned enterprises. And I, an inexperienced little boy, naturally only participated, but I was shocked by her high-voltage electric field. It felt like a dream. I didn't expect to meet her in my dream. Deja vu, but it feels too far away. Maybe people's intuition will indicate something. The next day, despite my high myopia, I graduated from the Northeast Man of Northwest Highway College with a deep face and some heaviness. He seldom saw his smile, and even if he was lucky enough to see it, it was a little obscure. I don't know if he is a shrewd student, what he has achieved in his contact with handsome men and beautiful women under the banner of this company, and what he doesn't want to tell anyone. At that time, I was arranged to go to the Ministry of Commerce to find someone to submit a technical report. Unexpectedly, I want to contact the beautiful woman with big eyes.
So, my short story with this girl began.
If I had joined the WTO a few years earlier, perhaps, in that office environment, I would have been comfortable or at ease with her.
But a teenager like me has no real experience in large-scale beauty, especially commercial beauty. Simple past, education and experience are no match for her, so she naturally lacks a lot of precautions. I clearly remember that she was alone in the office at that time. This seems to be a good opportunity to make friends. However, at the wrong time, I was in the animal year of 1999, and my mood was a bit chaotic. According to the folk saying, you'd better wear red pants in this animal year, or you'll find yourself in pain. However, I was never superstitious at that time, and I felt that a person who had been baptized by philosophy and truth could still be so confused. However, at this juncture, it seems that this is not the case.
A cramped prologue began.
As soon as I entered her office, she happened to be sitting in a chair near the wide desk near the windowsill, wearing work clothes that I didn't seem to be used to. Her hair is gray and dignified, and her short black hair droops and turns, which is quite elegant in the 1930 s, but she looks like the leader of the underground party in a TV series. Later, I realized that she was really party member, which made me think about the relationship between a beautiful woman and materialistic belief. This is another story. At that time, she was still holding a small map in her hand, searching for something. It is polite to see me come in with a report and let me sit down opposite her. I was really embarrassed at that time, especially in the magnetic field of this famous beauty. I seem to be more nervous than when I first met her. In fact, the year we graduated was the last year of national reunification and division, and we started the docking of two-way choice. Although in the camp of engineering students, I once thought I was a dreamer in humanities and thought I was ready for the necessary qualities, but I had not experienced a formal interview at that time. She seems to see my uneasiness, and it feels like the embarrassment of a silly boy's first blind date. I didn't know why I was like that. She greeted me and asked my name. I told her what it was and where it was in the meeting minutes. Needless to say, it's the back. Who knows, without looking up, she was still looking at the map in her arms and asked, "Where is your home?" If it sounds like a Shanghai local woman, it is a bit like Wu Nong's soft language, but it is not rude. I'm still happy. A burst of warmth made me feel relaxed, but who knows, she then asked a heavy question, "Is it on the map?" God, have you asked such a person? Do you despise me? Do you just want to know my native place, or show off that you have been baptized by the metropolis? At that time, I became impatient and said to her with some excitement, "I'll tell you where my home is, to the west of …, to the south of …, and to the north of …". She seems to see a little bit of my car-scrapping, and there is some softening and "respect" in her words. However, my brain was messed up by her. I began to show off my scholar-like talent and unconsciously defended my meager "face". In fact, she is an elegant woman, only a little more bourgeois. After all, as a graduate student, she was sent by the headquarters as a "special correspondent" to work in the local company she controlled and dance with too many departmental relations and professionals. Although she is a master of finance and economics and an engineering layman, she should always maintain some commercial dignity. But this joke is a little bigger than what I played at that time. She also ruined the reverence and obedience that a little boy should have. Looking back on this scene for many years afterwards, if I had been more mature, I might have been able to go more smoothly in my "official career", or cooperate with her at work to become her arm and even win her love. However, I almost lost control at that time, and I failed to cherish her "appreciation" in my words. I snubbed her promotion, talked about religion, history and philosophy, and even sneered at her origins: "In China, I don't recognize other universities except Peking University!" With his reverence for Peking University, he expressed his disdain for the bourgeois temperament inherited from Shili Foreign Exchange. What she said later was still mild and to the point. After learning that I have the idea of taking the postgraduate entrance examination in Peking University, I suggested: "You can contact your tutor and get a thorough understanding of the problem." Later, from a pragmatic point of view, this is a good suggestion. Unfortunately, I was too serious and pedantic at that time, and I felt that her beautiful image was discounted by more than half in my heart. Obviously, I am not mature enough to be confused by the floating cultural precipitation. The last thing I need is that I was crazy about religious thoughts at that time, and I might just stay in my mind. In reality, I am far from being able to really control my feelings in interpersonal relationships. Compared with her, I have already lost. This is a real lesson, which is enough to make people feel sad and reflect.
In the later work, it was not that she didn't give me the opportunity to transfer my job so that she could get close to me. But I was in a confused mood at that time, but I gave up, gave up my' opportunity' and even gave up my feelings. Who knows whether this is man-made or providence? In short, a drop in the bucket. I confirmed this idiom with my own youth experience. In the fierce struggle between thoughts and emotions, I made an amazing choice-to resign, to cut off my scattered feelings, and to dream of Yanyuan in my student days! At that time, college students were still an onion, and many people still had the concept of "iron rice bowl". My courage was amazing, although I was not the first person to eat crabs, although I walked behind the first brother Tsinghua who resigned. But those engineering students should be rational, and I am more emotional, so they are not as relaxed as I am, and only I know the taste! My intuition at that time told me that I missed such a relationship, an opportunity to win my heart easily, and it may be difficult to make up for it in my life! Just as I finished all the formalities of leaving my post and stamping, I was about to leave this sad northeast city. It was sad to sit on my buddy's bike for the last time and watch my way to and from work for the last time. I happened to meet the business car she used to ride, but it passed by my eyes for the last time and slowly disappeared in the distance ... and I am almost sure that the beautiful girl who looks beautiful seems to have found me and dragged herself out of the window. At that time, I immediately knew that she also proposed to leave and return to the headquarters in the south. At that moment, my heart almost broke. It was really an accident. Why do you make me so sad on the edge of reality and dreams? I feel that this kind of plot can only be buried deep in my heart, because there is no plot, but it hurts the most. I'm afraid it was many years before I resorted to writing. I know that this is doomed to be a failure and a lesson that has been sad enough for a long time.
At that moment, my mind was blank and I stood there stupefied, as if my heart had been hollowed out, as if the world suddenly lost its meaning, and I could not foresee my future love. I only know that this time, I have bid farewell to the most splendid youth life, and there is a kind of despair floating in my heart, which makes me feel very sad and want to cry. However, I still need to go on bravely and perseveringly. I'm standing in the wind, trying to keep you away. White clouds are my tears. ......
On the journey of wandering, it is condensed into the following words to pay homage to the rebirth after the sad experience of youth:
Louis xinbie
On the voyage you arrived.
Spring breeze is my companion.
The raindrops in my ears are melting.
Your sweet taste
Some ideas
How much sadness
A gentle and poetic heart record
The mark of the growth of a dream teenager
Never confess
Never talk.
I can't vaguely forget you.
The true meaning of instant gaze
Never held hands.
Never leave.
Falling in love is a kind of
Effects of Green Leaves on Root System
It seems to be dusty.
It seems that I can't remember.
In a real and illusory dream.
isn't it?
A kind of beauty of life