In my past understanding, writers or poets with mental retardation are determined and self-reliant. Yu Xiuhua simply broke my inherent impression of this.
She suffers from mild cerebral palsy, but she doesn't grovel, but lives in willfulness and arrogance that ordinary people don't have.
She didn't hide her desire, because there was no hint, so she chose to be straightforward and even made a despicable performance. For ridicule, she did not sympathize with her resentment, but hated it back and forth in the simplest and rudest language.
Through her Weibo and past experience, I found the reason why this "non-mainstream" poetess argued.
0 1: Sad childhood
Yu Xiuhua, 44, was born in a poor rural area in Hubei Province. Yu Xiuhua's first half of his life was miserable, especially when he was a child. Like a mountain, it weighs heavily on her.
Because of lack of oxygen at birth, Yu Xiuhua was numb from an early age. When you talk, your mouth is bad, your mouth is crooked, your face is different from that of ordinary people, and you walk unsteadily.
If it doesn't meet the public aesthetic standards, some shallow people will accuse her. Most poets (whether ancient or modern) are noble in people's minds, and Yu Xiuhua obviously does not belong to this category.
The pressure of childhood came from Dr. Yabu for the first time. According to the quack, disability is a sin of her last life, and she will be punished in this life. Young Yu Xiuhua often thinks about why he did bad things in his last life. Sometimes I fall into resentment against myself.
Yu Xiuhua couldn't get away when he was in primary school. You can only walk on the ground. Her parents take her to school. She came slowly with a cane.
Different kinds of Yu Xiuhua were mercilessly satirized by classmates. A classmate said to her. 「
The battered Yu Xiuhua made up his mind to throw away the stick and start walking alone.
Sometimes Yu Xiuhua feels lucky, because many people can't walk, even if they shake.
02: Marriage without love
Compared with the pressure from childhood, marriage has brought her deep fear and anxiety.
That year, Yu Xiuhua 19 years old. She doesn't know what marriage is yet, and she doesn't know what she will face after marriage. I dropped out of school and got married because of my mother.
The man is older than her 12 years old, and her name is Yin Shiping. Yu Xiuhua's mother is very satisfied with him. Because of good health, he doesn't hate his daughter's disability.
However, marrying Yu Xiuhua is not happy at all. In Yu Xiuhua's narrative, the husband only thought that it was the place where the family spent the New Year.
When Yin Shiping went out to work, they were all fine. When they came home, they couldn't calm down. 「
Even if two people are in the same room, they don't ignore each other, but have a big fight.
Such a life puzzled Yu Xiuhua deeply. She asked herself many times why she wanted to get married. Can such a marriage be exchanged with its own obstacles?
One year, Yin Shiping worked in Jingmen. The president owes him 800 yuan. He asked Yu Xiuhua to order with him, and when the president's car came, she stopped it. In his view, Yu Xiuhua is a disabled person, and the President will not receive her.
Yu Xiuhua asked him what he would do if he had a chance. From her husband's silence, Yu Xiuhua realized that what she saw in her husband's eyes was not as good as the price of pigs.
Yu Xiuhua was disappointed with his loveless marriage. She also asked for a divorce, but her mother objected.
Since becoming famous, Yu Xiuhua finally married her husband. Many people say that she is ungrateful, perhaps because she is famous, which gives her more motivation.
03: The Road to Success
In 2009, Yu Xiuhua officially began to write poetry. However, there is not a fledgling poet.
Around 20 10, Yu Xiuhua was unknown at this time. She thinks about the way of life for herself.
"My parents are old, my husband is unreliable, and my son has his own home. If you want to live, this day will come one day 「
Yu Xiuhua staggered to Jingmen City to observe how beggars beg on the overpass, and brought his own bowl.
But she didn't succeed, not because no one was willing to give money, but because she couldn't kneel down, so she couldn't pursue life like a beggar.
Yu Xiuhua had to penance and continue to write poetry.
In 20 14, Yu Xiuhua lit a flame in her poems, and this famous work "Going to sleep after half of China" brought her great controversy.
Actually, you are sleeping, and so are you. The power of physical conflict is caused by this flower. I mistakenly thought that the life conceived by this flower in spring would start. /In most parts of China, volcanoes spewed fire and rivers dried up. Sleep in the rain. /countless nights to sleep until dawn. /Countless I ran to sleep. /Of course, I will also bring some butterflies. /praise spring. /My hometown is a village similar to Hengdian. /I will sleep all those. Is an indispensable reason for you.
That year, Yu Xiuhua went to see friends of the opposite sex who loved each other. After that, I chatted with a group of poetry friends online.
"People have been joking all day. This is a joke. I think the theme of "Sleeping all over China" is very interesting. You can take it out for use. 「
In the talk show, the host asked her if she was worried about such a topic, and Yu Xiuhua replied. 「
At the beginning of 20 15, Yu Xiuhua herself and her poems caused an uproar in the poetry circle and even in the society.
The characteristics of "gender poetics" in her poems have caused great controversy.
There are many desires and interpretations of love and sex in her poems.
Her poem is one of the female poets in China. It's like putting a murderer on the daughter show of a big family. Everyone else is wearing uniforms, powder and perfume.
In my opinion, this evaluation also applies to Yu Xiuhua himself. Her existence is out of tune with the image of China's poets, with a wild way and rude language, which can be said to be a mudslide among poets.
However, her works are surprisingly familiar and even aura.
I want a lot of dusk winds and sunsets. That's enough. I love the muddy world. -Yu Xiuhua)
Many times, suffering is the source of inspiration. Even if we see the poems handed down from ancient times to modern times, many of them are created in misery. This is the misfortune of the poet and the luck of the reader.
So is Yu Xiuhua. Obstacles are the proposition of lifelong struggle and the inspiration of writing poems.