-stands for "preface"
Recently, Zhang Haibin, an associate professor at the School of Law of Shanghai International Studies University, published an emotional article on drinking culture "Don't drink when I come back from Anhui" during his business trip in Anhui, which blew up the internet. The article begins with "I finally came back from Anhui, and I came back alive. This is a blessing ... "
I want to tell this person that it is a good thing that you are here now. If you came to Anhui twenty or thirty years ago, I guess your topic will be changed to "I didn't smell alcohol when I came back from Anhui".
In your article, you described in detail how Anhui people can drink, how to drink well and how to persuade them to drink. In fact, with the progress of society, Anhui people's drinking capacity has been greatly reduced. If you came to Anhui twenty or thirty years ago, I'm afraid you should add the word "Geng" before "can drink, be good at drinking and be able to persuade".
At that time, every day after noon 1 1, or after 5 pm, all the streets and restaurants, large and small, were crowded with people, and everywhere was the sound of "Eight Big Seven Clever Plums". The fencer was red-faced, sweaty, angry and loud. Now this kind of scene is rare, especially the boxing and drinking order, which is almost extinct now.
At this time, the ultimate goal of a glass of wine must be to defeat two. If no one drinks a glass of wine, everyone present will feel embarrassed. I once attended a restaurant, sat down from noon 1 1: 30, and drank until after 7 pm. The host family really didn't have any food to drink, so they took scissors to cut off several pots of blooming chrysanthemums in their house, washed them with clear water, and then drank them in a hot pot. The reason for drinking for so long is that no one got drunk on the spot. After seven o'clock, someone finally sat under the table and vomited, and the people present dispersed in laughter.
This is the drinking capacity of Anhui people. Anhui people can drink and persuade. This guy should know how to practice, right If you had come to Anhui at that time, I guess it's a question whether you can be lively and disorderly when you go back to Shanghai. Where is the mood to write a blog post "Don't drink when you come back from Anhui"? Luckily, you are here now. In order to prove the correctness of my point of view, I recorded the following drunken anecdotes.
Second, aren't you taller than me?
-One of the interesting drunken experiences.
It's past twelve o'clock at night. After playing cards, one person lost money, so he forced the winner to buy me a drink, and the other two followed suit. I had no choice but to follow them to the stall for a drink. When I arrived at the stall, the person who lost money said to me, "I lost money today, and I have the final say on what I eat and drink. You just pay for it."
By three o'clock in the morning, four people had drunk nearly three kilograms of white wine, and even I, the most inedible one, drank 70% to 80%. The first sign of drunkenness is that the sea is blowing, which is louder than anyone and can blow to the sky. Finally, after I paid the money, I folded it up and continued to blow with them. They all staggered out of the stall. The main road is very wide and there are almost no people. We staggered to one side of the road and then to the other, as if the whole main road belonged to our family, so that we could come and go freely. Occasionally, motor vehicles come and stop there, quietly waiting for us to drive. At that time, I thought: It's good to be an alcoholic when you are drunk, and there is a feeling of "being the only one"
Go awry, go awry, I feel one person is missing. I counted it carefully three times. Yes, there were only three people. I checked it again. Yes, only three people. The man who lost his money and wanted to drink left. I said to both of them, "Don't panic, it seems that one person is missing. Where is the boss? " The two of them froze and said, "Huh? What did the boss do? " I said, "Why don't you turn around?"
Then, three crooked children walked back along the road, shouting one after another, "Boss-Old-Big!" " "The noise shocked many residents to turn on the lights in the windows, and some people stuck their heads out of the windows. One of them shouted at the window, "What are you looking at? Haven't you seen the old man? "Scared people to close the window.
At a crossroads, we found the boss. The boss spoke loudly in front of a telephone pole, with his legs spread apart, his left hand around his waist and his right finger pointing at the telephone pole, shaking back and forth as if there were no roots under his feet, and his mouth kept muttering, "Aren't you taller than me?" You think I'm afraid of you? Ask Ben who he's afraid of. As soon as I say hello, several buddies will come and beat you together. Do you believe it or not ... "When he heard us shouting' Boss', he immediately shouted,' Come here, he bullied your boss and beat him for me ..." I ran over to ask what was going on, and the boss pointed to the telephone pole and said, "I just peed, and he bullied your boss. Did you see it? "He pointed to his forehead and let me see. I saw a blood bag on his forehead. The roots of telephone poles are all wet, and the ground is covered with water.
Three, take it, or I will destroy you.
-The second interesting experience of drunkenness
It's already 10: 00 in the evening. A man was so drunk that he couldn't even get down the steps of the hotel that he had to help him down. He resolutely refused: "Help me with what?" You think I'm drunk, don't you? Let's go back and drink another catty. If I can't get down this step, it means I can't drink. "It is not so much to help him down the steps as to hijack him down the steps.
He stopped a taxi for him, but he insisted on taking human tricycles, so he had to find him a human tricycles. I was still worried about getting him into the car, so the other two and I had to take a taxi and follow slowly from behind. At the gate of his community, the tricycle stopped and he got off. After a long time in my pocket, I took out a hundred-dollar bill and handed it to the tricycle driver, muttering, "Take it!" " "The coachman said," Don't give money, your friend just gave it. "He was annoyed:" I told you to take it, and you took it. I will take a bus. Why should I make them pay? "Take it!" The coachman said, "Brother, you have a hundred dollars, but I have no money to find you." He said, "What are you looking for? Take it, or I'll kill you, believe it or not? " Eyes staring like two big light bulbs. After giving the money to the tricycle driver, he staggered into the community.
The three of us hurried to the coachman. The coachman quickly said, "It's not my fault, it's his fault …" I said, "It's not your fault. We all saw it. Go ahead. " After accepting the money handed over by the rickshaw puller and letting him go, we followed him until he entered the door, and then left with confidence.
The next day, he saw me and said, "I drank too much last night, and I don't know when I lost a hundred dollars in my pocket." After laughing, I told him about yesterday. After hearing this, he was ashamed and said, "At that time, my brain was not in charge, but' wine' was in charge. You must not be too big in the wine field in the future. "
Fourth, today, I will pack this.
-the third interesting thing about drunkenness.
A classmate came from other places and invited some old classmates to drink together at noon. Classmates haven't seen each other for many years, so the mood of meeting and drinking is naturally different. Everyone is enthusiastic and extremely excited. As soon as it comes up, it's full. After the first three rounds of * * * drinking, the small drinker surrendered voluntarily and stopped drinking. No matter what harsh words you use to stimulate him, he just won't drink.
This foreign classmate can't drink much, but he is the protagonist today. He is embarrassed to cheat and has to hold on. After drinking a whole bottle of wine, it was naturally him who drank too much. Repeatedly told him not to drink too much before drinking, and to go back in the afternoon. After drinking too much, he not only stopped talking about going back, but also offered to go to a classmate's house nearby to play cards. No choice but to follow him, and everyone went to this classmate's house together.
As soon as the door opened, he slipped into the bathroom. Then, he sat down in front of the toilet, held the whole toilet and said to us, "You play cards. I want this today. " A group of us all burst out laughing. He squinted at us and said solemnly, "What are you laughing at?" ? What's so funny about this? "Then, he struggled to get up with great strength, slammed the bathroom door and locked it from the inside.
We were going to play cards, and before the table was set, there was thunderous snoring in the bathroom. Lei Lei's snoring has always been even and rhythmic. It's telling us that he's fine and we can play cards with peace of mind.
What bothers us is that we are anxious one after another, but there is no solution. We knocked on the bathroom door, and there was only snoring in the bathroom, and there was no reply. In the end, there was nothing we could do, so our classmates had to go to the neighbor's house to discuss it. After explaining the situation, his neighbor actually agreed to let us go to their bathroom to solve the urgent need.
On hearing that the neighbors agreed, the problem came again. Who will go first? Because everyone has been holding back to the extreme, it's okay when there is no hope to solve it, and they can hold back for a while. Now when they hear that they can solve the problem, they are more anxious, and everyone wants to be the first to rush over. At this time, I propose to draw lots with mahjong tiles and solve them one by one in order. Whoever catches nine cakes is unlucky.