1. Funny love words and poems
★If you blink your eyes, I will die. If you blink again, I will live. If your eyes keep blinking, I will die. Come and blink, and then I am alive and dead! ★Do you love me? If you love, just look through the text messages... Yeah! I know you love me, I will consider you carefully! ★Forgive me for telling a stranger your mobile phone number. His name is Cupid, and he said he wanted to help me tell you: My heart likes you, my heart cares about you, and my heart is waiting for you★My wife is running very stably like China Telecom, but she can’t Take it out with you; Xiaomi is like China Mobile, convenient and fast, but you have to pay a lot of extra money; Lover is like China Unicom, it feels fresh, but it is often not in the service area. ★Thank you for getting to know you in this life, I have been dreaming about you forever Lovesickness is devastating.
I am sure that you are the love I pursue in this life. My life is bleak without you.
How much I need you, come back to me: RMB! ★Men are born with sins. You should not be afraid of getting tired when doing things. Of course you pay for dates. You have to memorize sweet words. Whatever mistakes you make are your fault. ★Your face is more beautiful than Chen Shimei, your eyes are brighter than Zhuge Liang; my love is longer than Guan Yunchang, and my promise is empty than Sun Wukong! ★Is it okay to break up? I don’t want to be pestered by you. If we have a chance to be together in the future, I still like you. Why are you still pestering me?
Hey, does anyone know how to unbuckle this seat belt? ★I will pray to God every day for a long-lasting blooming rose, and I will give it to you when I am nine hundred and ninety-nine, and say emotionally: “I don’t believe that the bees I invite will not sting you! ★What is pride? What is humility? What is being smart? What is beauty? 2. Humorous sentences from Tiantian Joke.com beiducun I hope you will adopt it, thank you for the collection of love jokes: 1. In order to master the art of eating, I am going to start practicing using chopsticks with my left hand.
2. Look at the door for an expert, and the sidewalk for travel 3. Index. The mountains are gone, and the money flows into the sea.
Because I have no clairvoyance, I lose a floor. 4. I used to have long hair, just like Beethoven, it was touched by you. Darnay, if you keep touching, you will become Ronaldinho! 5. Not wearing enough clothes is to show off your figure; not eating enough is to maintain your figure.
Save water and try to take a shower with your girlfriend; 7. WC slogan: Close to civilization, close to convenience. 8. Love your neighbor with all your heart, but don’t let her husband know.
9. Water pipes. It exploded, and I had no water for several days, so I turned on the faucet, hoping to know the water as soon as possible. Who knows, the water company released the water in the middle of the night, and the house was flooded.
10. I am not afraid of the sky or the earth, but I am afraid that the teacher will come to my house and sit on my bed, drink my tea, and my mother will call me as soon as the teacher leaves. (Run a relationship), take the ticket test in September (pay tuition)
Collection of love jokes 2: One night, an old man was riding a bicycle passing by a hillside. He suddenly wanted to go to the toilet, so he put the bike on the hillside. I went to the restroom, but when I came back I found that my bike was missing. I thought to myself, "What's wrong? It's quite a long way from home!" " As a result, there was a hotel not far away. The old man came in and said, "Boss, are there any rooms left? "The boss said: "No more, it's all full." The old man said: "Help, we can't leave in Mahakala..." The boss said, "There is a newlywed couple going out, you just hide under their bed first. Just give it a night! ~" The old man agreed... It was very late, the newlyweds came back, and only heard a man say: "Let's go to bed! "Then the man took off his clothes, and the man said to the woman: "What did you see?" The woman said: "I saw the endless plain."
The woman took off her clothes and said to the man: "What did you see?" The man said: "I saw two small mounds." "As a result, the old man said at this time: "Did you see my bicycle?" 3. Collection of funny love sentences
Humorous and funny sentences about love
1. Five Hundred Years ago, you were the long-term worker in our family. I fell in love with you when I peeked at you chopping wood at the window. Don’t blame me for not telling you at that time.
< p> 2 You must follow your wife when she goes out, you must obey your wife’s orders, you must blindly follow your wife when she is wrong; you must wait until your wife puts on makeup, you must remember your wife’s birthday, you must be willing to spend money, and you must tolerate being beaten and scolded by your wife.3 Dear user, hello, this is a network test. If there is no signal on your mobile phone, please drop your mobile phone on the ground as hard as you can until there is a signal. Thank you for your cooperation. Goodbye
4. Men are here Raising a woman outside is called "a beautiful woman hiding in a golden house". A woman raising a man outside is called "crouching tiger, hidden dragon". 5. An unmarried woman sighed: Why do all good men become other people's husbands? : Wives train good husbands by producing and selling their own goods. No man can be self-taught.
6. Stupid man + stupid woman = marriage; stupid man + smart woman = divorce; smart man + stupid woman = extramarital affair; smart man + smart woman = romantic love; us?
7. You are the sun in the sky, and I am the mountain on the earth; you are the moon in the sky, and I am the ocean on the earth; you are the crow flying in the sky, and I am the earthly dog ??chasing after you. Chase.
8. A first-class man has a home outside his home; a second-class man has flowers outside his home; a third-class man looks for a home among flowers; a fourth-class man has his family home from work; a fifth-class man has his wife not at home; a sixth-class man No wife, no home.
9 One kiss gives you roses m. Two kisses give you my home mm. Three kisses go to Java for honeymoon mmm. I am a big fool for love. I will never change my love for you! ! ! mmm
10. You, you, you little goblin, you have caused me to be poisoned by your love but you still refuse to give me the antidote! Little bad guy! oh! I'm dying! Help me! The solution is simple: give me your love!
11. You are handsome, you are handsome, you are the most handsome in the world. You have a nest of cabbage on your head, a sack on your body, and a piece of kelp around your waist. You think you are the Invincible of the East, but in fact you are the second declining god. generation.
12. The rooster and the hen are husband and wife, and they are busy hatching chicks all day long. The chick has a mental problem and does not eat, drink or rest. The rooster and hen are anxious and hide aside to watch the chicks. They are stupid. The chick didn't pay attention and was secretly looking at the phone.
13. Sister, I love you just like a mouse loves rice. I miss you every time I hear it. I fall in love with you at first sight. I pursue you without saying a word. I come to you again and again. I will definitely I want to chase you...
14. Being single is understanding, being in love is a mistake, breaking up is awareness, getting married is a mistake, divorce is awakening, remarriage is stubbornness, without a lover, you are a waste, and with too many lovers, you are an animal.
15. Baby, baby, I love you, just like a mouse loves rice. You are a phoenix flying in the sky, and I am a jackal chasing you on the ground. I will neither beat you nor scold you. I will use Emotions torture you.
16 Buddha said: It takes five hundred times of looking back at the past life in exchange for passing by in this life. If it is true, I would trade ten thousand times to meet you and be able to tell you: "I really want to love you." 4. Funny words and poems about love
★If you blink your eyes, I will die. If your eyes blink again, I will come to life. If your eyes keep blinking, I will die. To the death!
★Do you love me? If you love, just look through the text messages... Yeah! I know you love me, I will consider you carefully!
★Forgive me for giving your mobile phone number to a stranger, his name is Cupid, and he said he wanted to help me tell you: My heart likes you, my heart cares about you, and my heart is waiting for you
★My wife is like China Telecom, which runs very stably, but cannot be taken out; Xiaomi is like China Mobile, which is convenient and fast, but it costs a lot of extra money; my lover is like China Unicom, which feels fresh but is often not in the service area. < /p>
★Thank you for getting to know you in this life. I miss you so much. I am sure that you are the love I pursue in this life. My life is bleak without you. How much I need you, come back to me: RMB!
★Men are born with sins. You should not be afraid of getting tired when doing things. Of course you pay for dates. You have to memorize sweet words. Whatever mistakes you make are your fault.
★Your face is more beautiful than Chen Shimei, your eyes are brighter than Zhuge Liang; my love is longer than Guan Yunchang, and my promise is empty than Sun Wukong!
★Is it okay to break up? I don’t want to be pestered by you. If we have a chance to be together in the future, I still like you. Why are you still pestering me? . . . . . Hey, does anyone know how to unbuckle this seat belt?
★I will pray to God every day for a rose that will bloom for a long time. I will give it to you when I am nine hundred and ninety-nine, and say emotionally: "I don't believe that the bees I attract will not sting me." You!
★What is humility? What is smartness? 5. What is love? Classic humorous phrases
I feel relieved knowing that you are not doing well
This handsome guy, you seem to be my next boyfriend. Hello, aunt, I am your son. You only want a boyfriend, as long as I have one. Uncle, can you sign the spouse column for me? I like to be low-key, I like to penetrate slowly, I like to conquer step by step, and I want you to remember it day by day. My name is sugar-coated. I really envy you for knowing me at such a young age.
I remember his death.
If I were a king, I would remember him. You will be the future. I want you to be an unparalleled sage. I want to protect your country and let no one interfere with it. I want to help you create a peaceful and prosperous era. I want you to think of Xie Changliu when you see the world. ! You said that you understand the small things of life, so I made this strong thing to show you. You said that no matter how lively it is, we will eventually be separated, so I made this life to show you. You said that you know how to be cold and warm, so I made this winter flower. Xia Xue, look at it with you. You said that you are nostalgic for the good old days, so I made this ukiyo-e depicting golden embroidered phoenixes for you to look at.
You said you should worry about the cold at high places, so I will hand over the mountains and rivers to please you. If I'm really good, why don't you.
I wish I could grow old together with you accidentally. The boy I once loved had the most handsome profile in the world. Don't say love to others easily, don't stubbornly open the door to others' hearts, and then leave in a joke.
If there is an afterlife, please don’t use your deepest feelings. Love is a glass of wine. I carefully held it to my beloved and he accidentally spilled it. So I mixed it with water. Don’t go around shouting that the world has abandoned you. The world was originally It doesn’t belong to you. Someone is bastardizing you and telling you: Don’t worry, there is a secret and full automation. What should you do? ——When you hit him with kidney deficiency, you said to him, "Don't worry, there are Liuwei Dihuang Pills, which can cure kidney deficiency and don't contain sugar." We have to look forward. How can we know what is good without missing some crooked melons and bad dates?
When someone asks you for something, look at him with a smile: What do you want to exchange for me? Life is not Lin Daiyu, and it will not be charming because of sadness. Women in the new century: they can go to the hall, they can go to the kitchen, they can write code, they can detect abnormalities, they can kill Trojan horses, they can climb over walls, they can afford to drive good cars, they can afford to buy new houses, they can fight mistresses, they can beat gangsters.
Having spent your entire youth reviewing youth, you still want to spend your entire life doubting life? I like roses if they are fragrant. These roses really smell good. Well, I like this bouquet of roses, but please take your dirty hands off them.
Please tell the prince that I am still on the road of overcoming thorns and thorns, and there are still snowy mountains that have not been climbed, the river has not been crossed, the dragon has not been killed, and the handsome boy has not been picked up... Tell him to continue to sleep! It was amazing at first, completely, only because the world didn’t see much of it. Smiling at you is purely polite. Come to me when you have something to do, and come to me when you have nothing to do. The difference between humans and pigs is: pigs are always pigs, while humans are sometimes not humans. What do you like about me? Can't I change it? When I love you, whatever you say is what I say.
What do you say you are when I don’t love you. One day your name will appear in my family's household registration book. Add: What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.
It is easy to hide when you are exposed, but hard to guard against when you are undercover. I can finally remember you with a smile. You like me, and I allow it.
Added: I have been having trouble sleeping recently, waking up every 16 hours. Join the party? Sister, I don’t care! Everyone says I'm ugly, but in fact I'm just not obviously beautiful.
Destroy people tirelessly, you said. do you like me? actually.
I started. Actually me too.
Let me tell you, I actually quite like myself. No matter how hesitant and confused I am at this time, in the end, I will live the life I want. If I couldn't beat you, I would have fallen out with you long ago.
Added: Don’t call me a otaku, please call me Madame Curie. Life is so long, so it doesn’t matter how many years you have to wait. Remember to marry me early in the next life. "I am already the Pharaoh of Egypt. I can give you everything you want.
If it is reasonable, then if you want one, I will give you two. Even if it is unreasonable, I can still do it An unreasonable monarch will satisfy you."
-------The oath given by Pharaoh Ramses II to his concubine Nefertari in the Valley of the Kings of Egypt has the ability. Love me forever! Added: If I am here, you will not be without a home. In this life, if you don’t come, I will not grow old. Your shore is the shore, is my shore the sea? You said you might marry someone you don't like in the future, that's okay, I'm willing to be the person you don't like. . 6. Funny sentences to describe the beauty of love
1. If I were a teardrop in your eyes, I would fall along your cheeks and disappear between your lips. If you were a teardrop in my eyes I won't cry because I'm afraid of losing you! 2. I hide my love deeply and release it at this moment, letting my two hearts light up at this moment. I feel from your eyes that my face is getting hot.
3. I am like a coffee bean, ready to be powdered at any time. My dear, please grind me. My overflowing tears will distill boiling water, and then dissolve my thoughts into a little sugary flavor.
Grab a cup of coffee and spend the sleepless night with you. 4. I never thought that you, who had to fight for food and drink with me every day when I was a child, would pamper me and love me like you do today. Five years have passed unknowingly, and my only wish is to have more with you. Five years.
5. I don’t know what love is. When you are tired, you have hot water to soak your feet, and a pair of hands to pat your back; on rainy days, I hold an umbrella for you; when you need it, I By your side, because, in an inadvertent moment, you embedded your heart into my heart. 6. I heard people say that when a person leaves this world, the palm prints on his hands will disappear. If it is true, I hope that my emotional lines will still be there after I leave, because I want to keep the traces of my love for you! 7. I don’t have many words, I only have one thing to tell you: with you, you are everything; without you, everything is you.
8. I have a pair of eyes but I can’t see you at all times; I have a pair of ears but I can’t hear your voice at all times; I have hands but I can’t hold you at all times; but I have a heart that can. Miss you anytime! 9. If there is an afterlife, let us be a pair of little mice. Falling in love stupidly, living in a dull way, cuddling clumsily, even if the mountains are blocked by heavy snow, I can still nest in the warm haystack, hug you tightly and bite your ears.
10. We have all walked the road of love. We have heard too much about love. Regarding the words in our hearts, I can only say to you, Happy Valentine's Day! 11. Excellence is a habit. If excellence is a habit, then laziness is also a habit.
When a person is born, except for temperament, which is different due to nature, other things are basically acquired. Therefore, everything we say and do are habits developed over time.
So from now on we must turn excellence into a habit, make our excellent behavior habitual and become our second nature. 12. Life is a process.
Although the results of things are important, the process of doing things is more important, because we will be happier when the results are good, but the process makes our lives fulfilling. 13. The shortest distance between two points is not necessarily a straight line.
In the relationship between people and the process of doing things, it is difficult for us to get things done straightforwardly. Sometimes we encounter many difficulties and obstacles when doing things. Sometimes we don't have to be tough and rush forward. We can choose to go around difficulties and obstacles. Maybe things will go more smoothly this way.
14. Only those who know how to stop know how to speed up. Watching other people skiing, it seems easy. Isn’t it just sliding from the top of the mountain to the bottom? So I put on my skis and slid down. The result was that I slid from the top of the mountain to the bottom of the mountain, but in fact I rolled to the bottom of the mountain and fell many times.
Finally, I repeatedly practiced how to stop on the snow and on the slope. After practicing for a week, I finally learned to stop, slide, and stop again on any slope.
At this time, I discovered that I could ski, and I dared to rush down the hillside at high speed from the top of the mountain. Because I know that if I want to stop, I can stop by turning around.
Therefore, only those who know how to stop know how to move forward at high speed. 15. Giving up is a kind of wisdom, and defects are a kind of grace.
When you have six apples, never eat them all, because if you eat all six apples, you only eat six apples. If you take out five of the six apples for others to eat, even though you lose five apples on the surface, you actually gain the friendship and favor of the other five people.
When others have other fruits, they will definitely share them with you. You will get an orange from this person and a pear from that person. In the end, you may get six kinds. Different fruits, friendship between six people. Therefore, giving up is a kind of wisdom.
16. Do one thing at a time, and do well. Do one thing at a time, and do your best! 17. Never forget to say "thanks". Never forget to say "thanks"! 18.Keep on going never give up. Keep going and never give up! 19. Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well. Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well! 20.Believe in yourself. Believe in yourself! 21. I can because i think i can. I can, because I believe I can! 22.Action speak louder than words. Action speaks louder than words! 23. Never say. Never be discouraged! 24.Never put off what you can do today until tomorrow. Today’s work is done today! 25.The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today. The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today. 26. Remember what needs to be remembered and forget what needs to be forgotten. Change what can be changed, accept what cannot be changed. 27. The only thing that can wash away everything except tears is time. Time moves feelings forward. The longer the time, the weaker the conflict, just like tea that is constantly diluted.
28. Complaints are the greatest gift God can receive from mankind, and they are also the most sincere part of mankind’s prayers. 29. The price of wisdom is contradiction.
This is life’s joke on the outlook on life.
30. Girls in the world always think that they are proud princesses (except for a few extremely ugly and a few extremely smart girls) 31. If your enemy makes you angry, it means you are not sure of defeating him. 32. If your friend makes you angry, That means you still care about his friendship. 33. Linghu Chong said, "There are some things that we can't control, so we have to control ourselves."
34. I don't know what I'm doing right now and what I'm doing wrong. , and I didn’t know this until I finally died of old age. So all I can do now is try my best to do everything well, and then wait to die of old age.
35. Maybe some people are hateful and some people are despicable. And when I put myself in his shoes, I realized: He is even more pitiful than me.
So please forgive everyone you have ever met, good or bad. 36. The fish said to the water that you can't see my tears because I am in the water. The water said that I can feel you.