In the season, the spring breeze is swaying, colorful flowers are hanging on the branches, and the earth is thriving. I especially like spring, which is neither too cold nor too hot. The comfort of the temperature is the best in a year. There are also willow willows and rape blossoms everywhere, blooming in the fields and fields, endless ... Occasionally, a saxophone's "Going Home" floated from the flowers, warm and long. Is an old man over 60 years old, doing exercises freely in the field, perfecting his lifelong hobby day after day!
I don't know how many days I haven't sat down to type these words, maybe a year, two years, or even longer. Whatever the reason, I think laziness is the main source. When I was young, I loved words more than food and cosmetics. I don't know how many times I went shopping, but I walked into Xinhua Bookstore unconsciously. I immediately bought my favorite book until I couldn't afford food, so I made do with eating for a whole day and went home to feel my lover's dissatisfaction silently.
At that time, I was really young. I worked hard to finish the adult self-study exam. Whether my lover is happy or not, whether my family looks on coldly or not, I just want to live in my dream. Although I failed to complete the general exam and get the undergraduate diploma, those hard studies day and night, like a ray of light, warmed me and illuminated the direction of the darkest moment of my life. Those philosophies and professional knowledge points make me at a loss. I remember that in the years after the resumption of the college entrance examination, in order to satisfy the curiosity of young people in society, various correspondence classes gradually appeared. I applied for the Northwest Correspondence Journalism College and haven't finished it yet. In order to rectify the chaos of fake diplomas, all correspondence courses issued by the state are not recognized and are all included in the adult self-study examination of the Ministry of Education. I work in the mountains, and there are not many majors I can apply for. Some subjects are difficult to complete without attending face-to-face lectures. In order to get my diploma, I chose law as my major. Boring articles, case analysis, civil law, two years later, let alone criminal law. In the first year, I just passed the civil litigation exam, and the marriage law crossed the line. After three years, I finally gave up, but these knowledge points I remembered fell into a lawsuit after many years. I defended myself in civil litigation. During the trial, the other party had professional lawyers and family members. I didn't apply for legal aid. I acted as a defender myself, argued with evidence, overturned the other party's somewhat far-fetched evidence chain with logic and facts, and fought back one by one, turning a lawsuit and a tough battle into a practical lesson. Actually, it was an accident. We can make up. Just because the other person is unreasonable, overbearing and strong, and feels a little bullied, he must go to court and let him know that ordinary people are not lambs who are slaughtered!
The days flow through your fingertips inadvertently, and the white hair on your temples can't hide the traces of the years. Cang Sang's face is full of stories of the years. When I was young, what about dreams? I seem to have forgotten my dream. I have no desire and no desire!
(2)
I don't know when I started, but I feel that my life is a bit difficult and I can't integrate into the surrounding groups and even my family. Alternative, I don't think, just a little bookish. I feel that everyone's words are sincere and human beings are kind and sincere. Until I heard the compliments in front of people with my own ears, the insults behind people were unbearable, and I felt my heart freeze when I saw the ferocious face behind a harmonious atmosphere. They are all the closest people. How come... Lost and confused, unable to find the answer, subverting years of book cognition. It turns out that man is a polyhedron, and many of his faces are virtual images, which are packaged for others to see. Stop. Stop. Stop. If the three views are inconsistent and you can't agree, then stay away from it!
In the era of planned economy, workers are very laid-back. After work, mahjong is the norm, and men and women are almost equally divided. Chatting is about who wins and who loses besides parents' short stories. They can't participate in the topic, feel bored, or close to the book.
The days have been disrupted by the market economy, and the wave of laid-off and unemployment has shattered the inherent thinking, adapting to society, finding a way out, and living is the last word!
Discard books, carry big bags and small bags, and squeeze into a group of small vendors to make a living. In Shan Ye, it is common to be counted, squeezed out, eating rice, eating sand and swallowing.
From setting up a stall to opening a shop, from mountainous areas to cities, leaving early and returning late, there is no balance, and the money earned is only enough to make ends meet. Because I have a small family at the age of 30, because I have responsibilities on my shoulders, and because I am a bookworm, I don't have much calculation in doing business, and I can't realize my knowledge. And small shops are like chicken ribs, which cannot be abandoned or thrown away. The meager profit can at least guarantee the normal life of the family.
I count the days in a daze, expecting my children to grow up quickly and succeed in their studies. I expect my lover who works thousands of miles away to be healthy, have a good promotion in the unit, have a stable salary and get out of the family's predicament. In the dead of night, it is still a book, accompanying me through the long night of tossing and turning. ...
After decades, there seems to be nothing to praise and be proud of. After reading a lot of books, I can't learn everything, nor can I learn thousands of people. I am just one track-minded, guarding my duty and kindness, not catering to, not against my will, being myself!
I once tried to change and asked myself if I was stupid in reading and couldn't fit in with the crowd, so I tried to give up. I have written many articles that I am proud of, and I don't publish books at my own expense. In the end, I can only hide them in my heart. The half-life dream is just a rainbow of life. I can't find the joy of publishing my first novel in Gansu newspaper in the early 1980 s. I remember that the audience was in an uproar in that remote small forest farm. In order to share the joy, I bought all 50 yuan's manuscript fees and distributed them to every office. But now, the times are changing, and even children feel that what they write has no wide readership and can't catch their eyes. They are just plain and straightforward and have no sense of the times. Give up, try to live a normal life of ordinary people, and maybe be happy. I chase dramas, dance square dances and live so-called grounded fireworks every day. I don't know why. My heart is always empty, my soul can't find a place to put it, and there is no sustenance! Perhaps, the hobby of young people is a road of no return. No matter how troubled the world is, the initial heart will not change. Work, study and emotional intelligence will all come. I will write some favorite words by hand, not for fame and fortune, but for a restless soul!
(3)
Dreams are the driving force and direction, and dreams are the pigments of life. With them, life will be colorful! Just like the old man who plays saxophone by the stream in the field every day, he doesn't pursue fame and fortune, but lives a full and textured life for his dream!
The wandering heart has found its place in the text, struggled, changed, depressed and lingered, and can return to its original heart, or it wants to live!
Take a leisurely walk and enjoy flowers in the fields. Every flower has its own unique life. Pear blossoms are full of silvery white trees, and pear blossoms bring rain, which makes people pity! Peach blossoms are delicate and charming, and mountains are drunk. Cherry blossoms are in full bloom and lead a splendid life. The yellow color of rape blossoms puts the earth in costumes and deducts the beauty of simplicity to the extreme! And women's flowers, even if they are old and pale, will still be wonderful in live high as long as they have dreams, love and direction! Don't listen to things outside the window, let the east, west, north and south wind. A cup of tea, a piece of music, a book, writing a text, a poem, or closing your eyes, staring blankly, talking to your heart, not to please others, but to like yourself!
Some people say that women who love words are melodramatic. How can life be so poetic and exquisite? In fact, ordinary fireworks are symphonies of women who love words, but she plays symphonies much slower. Tea can be changed into a transparent glass, fruit can be cut into pieces and put on a plate, and music can be lit with aromatherapy. It seems that these things are common, but when you do these things, you can add a lot of poetry.
Give yourself a hug. Don't change it if you can't. Life is not to cater to and please others, but to live for yourself and live a heart worthy of yourself! Live without regrets!
Hello, my friend, I am a grassroots. Thank you for reading. If you like my article, please pay attention and leave a message to forward. Your support is a spur and encouragement to me. Thank you for reading! Grateful to meet!