1.7
The root of suffering is strong will.
He talks but does not act. His words and actions are inconsistent.
6. Kurt Vonnegut was right: "Reading and writing are the most nourishing forms of meditation ever discovered by man."
8. Don't feel guilty when you have nothing to do. Maybe work is doing more harm to the world than doing nothing. But you can perfect your idleness and make it aware.
Beauty can purify the mind.
11. Hate is a meaningless emotion. Like eating a scorpion as punishment for stinging you.
16. Recognize that thoughts are just thoughts. If an idea doesn't make sense, argue with it, even if you can't figure it out. You are an observer of your mind, not a victim.
25. Read a book without thinking about finishing it. Just read. Enjoy every word, sentence, paragraph. Don't expect it to end, or ever.
26. At the deepest level, there is no medicine in the universe that makes you feel better than being kind to others.
27. Listen to what Hamlet, literature's most famous melancholy, told Rosencrantz and Guildenstern: "Nothing in the world is good or evil; thought makes it so."
29. You don't need the world to understand you. it does not matter. Some people will never truly understand what they have not experienced, but some will. Be grateful to those who understand you.
32. Remember: You are not weird at all. You are a human being, and all your behaviors and feelings are in line with nature, because you are an animal in nature. You are nature. You are an ape. You live in this world, and the world lives in your heart. Everything is connected.
33. Don’t believe in good or bad, winning or losing, victory or defeat, highs and lows. At your lowest and highest, whether you are happy or desperate, calm or angry, there is a core "you" that remains the same. This "you" is the most important.
34. Don’t worry about the time lost due to despair. After surviving despair, the value of time will double.
35. Be transparent with yourself. Build a glass house for your mind. observe.
Read whatever you want to read, just read it. Books are possibilities, escape routes. They give you opportunities when you have no choice. Every book is a home for the displaced mind.
37. On a sunny day, if you can be outdoors, just be outdoors.
38. Remember: The key to life on Earth is change. Cars will rust, book pages will yellow, technology will become obsolete, caterpillars will turn into butterflies, nights will turn into days, and depression will fade away.
19. Don't be unfounded.
24. Watch out for that gap. The gap between where you are now and where you want to be. Just thinking about it makes that gap widen and you risk falling into it.
I have lived to be 35, 36, 37, 38, and 39 years old. I never thought that I could live to be so old. Talk to friends. Talk to strangers. Talk to you. Write this book.
Thank you.
Possibility. Conquer the next challenge.
"Reasons to Live"
"It can even save a few lives."
1.8
Read Keats’s letters. ("Don't you know that the pain and troubles in this world are to train intelligent creatures and make them become souls?")
Thinking that I have my own way.
Know that others have other solutions.
Knowing that others may read these words, the pain I feel may not be meaningless.
At that time I was almost dead and going crazy.
A classic symptom of depression is a lack of hope. You have no future. There is no light at the end of the tunnel, it's like both ends are blocked and you're trapped.
This book exists to prove that depression can lie. Depression can cause you to think wrong things.
You feel like no one else is going through what you are going through. You are so afraid of showing a little bit of your madness that you keep all the pain inside. You're so afraid that people will grow distant from you that you keep your mouth shut and don't say a word. It's such a shame and it's healthy to talk about it. Words (spoken or written) are what connect us to the world. Talking about it and writing about it can help us connect with each other and our true selves.
If something is wrong with us, we feel ashamed. But we don’t have to be ashamed forever. Talking it out, even reading it, writing it down, will bring us relief.
It was reading and writing that saved me from darkness. Ever since I realized that depression lies, I wanted to write a book to share my experiences and confront depression and anxiety head-on. The book has two aims: to weaken the stigma surrounding depression, and also has the perhaps somewhat unrealistic ambition of trying to convince people that when you are at the bottom of an abyss, you can never have a clear view. I wrote this book because the cliches are truest, time heals, there really is light at the end of the tunnel, and there is always a silver lining behind a dark cloud.
Words can sometimes set you free.
Every brain is unique and the way they malfunction is unique. My mind goes awry in a slightly different way than other minds. Everyone's experiences may overlap, but they will never be exactly the same. We can use general terms like “depression” (or “anxiety disorder,” “panic disorder,” or “obsessive-compulsive disorder”), but recognize that different people experience it not exactly the same way.
If a book is only useful if it accurately replicates our experience, then the only books worth reading are those written by ourselves.
I find comfort and hope in reading about others who suffer, survive, and overcome despair.
"In the end, it takes more courage to live than to kill yourself." - Albert Camus, "The Happy Death"
I still remember the day my old self died.
The weirdest thing about the mind is that even if it is stormy on the inside, it can be calm on the outside, and no one else can tell except you.
The whole world is turning a blind eye to your pain. Just as no one in that villa knew how I felt, didn't know I was in hell, or understood why death was so attractive to me.
I lay in bed for three days and three nights. But no sleep.
I felt no relief, I wanted to die. No, that's not quite accurate. I don't want to die, I just don't want to live. I am afraid of death. Death only happens to people who have ever lived. There are countless people who have never lived. I want to be one of those people.
What a blessed gift normality is! We are all walking on an invisible tightrope, and at any second we could lose our footing and slip into the abyss
I couldn't focus for even a second.
I can’t fully express my feelings in words because it transcends words. I was speechless, words pale in comparison to the pain.
I was so naive and ridiculous that I thought that the feelings I experienced had never been experienced by others. Because this feeling was so unfamiliar to me, I thought others must have never experienced it.
It is invisible.
At the worst of your illness, you may find yourself desperately thinking: I would rather have any other disease than suffer any physical pain. Because the mind is infinite, its torments are also boundless.
It doesn't always have an obvious cause.
Lizards are amazing things, they can survive easily. It is survivor. You cut off its tail and it grows back a tail. It will not become depressed or melancholy because of this matter.
No matter how cruel and unfriendly the environment is, it can continue to live. I wanted, really, really wanted to be a lizard.
He believed that madness should be allowed to exist, and that a fearful, repressive society would declare anyone who was different to be sick.
"Reasons to Live"
1.10
In the words of Michel Foucault, this society is emasculating us and asking us to be normal, even if it It's what drives us crazy.
These experiences were so strange that I thought I was the only person in history (this was pre-Wikipedia) who had had these experiences. In fact, at any given moment, millions of people are experiencing these pains.
A hundred years from now, everyone you have ever met will die.
I am hungry for knowledge. Hungry for facts, I searched frantically for them like a life preserver in the ocean, but data is subtle and cunning.
8. No one has ever felt this way, not ever, not in all of human history.
10. I'll get through this.
Suffering from depression often means also suffering from other mental illnesses, such as anxiety disorders, phobias, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. (I have compulsive swallowing.)
4. You have a label, "depression," so what? In fact, if you ask the right professionals, everyone will have a label.
5. You feel like everything is about to get worse, but this feeling is just a symptom of your condition.
7. Ignore prejudice. Every disease has attracted prejudice. We fear getting sick, and fear breeds prejudice. For example, polio was wrongly described as a disease only for the poor. Depression is often considered a "weakness" or character flaw.
8. Nothing stays the same. Now this pain won't last forever. If pain tells you it will last, it is lying. In fact, pain is a debt that can be paid off with time.
Continued income instability?
We know something about the brain, but much more is unknown. Perhaps it is because of a lack of true understanding that some people still feel ashamed of having a mental illness. Where there is mystery, there is fear.
Accept. Don't fight, just feel. Tension comes from opposition, relaxation comes from letting go.
Just learn to look at the world with love. Love is an attitude towards life, love can save each other.
1.11
How to Time Travel: Read.
How to feel time: writing.
He believes that happiness is impossible because of the goals we set. Goals are the source of pain. Unfulfilled goals cause pain, while accomplished goals only bring temporary satisfaction.
If desire is the problem, the answer can only be to give up desire. In his words, the root of suffering is strong will.
Schopenhauer believes that if a person has a broader vision, sees human beings as a whole, and sees human suffering as a whole, he will be tired of life and deny his instincts. . In other words, Schopenhauer's program was abstinence, no pursuit of money, fasting, and a healthy dose of self-torture.
He believes that only by completely denying human will can we understand the truth that "there is only nothingness before us."
An immortal way of committing suicide - giving up all pleasure.
Schopenhauer is a huge hypocrite. He talks but does not act. His words and actions are inconsistent.
But in real life, he struggled in the dark.
The way out of life is to give up the enjoyment of this world
Buddhist thought is not as negative and tragic as Schopenhauer. Schopenhauer's asceticism is self-punishment and self-hatred
The lotus in Buddhism is a metaphor for spiritual enlightenment, and can also be seen as a metaphor for hope and change. The silt is depression or anxiety, blooming Flowers in clean air are us freed from the bonds of despair.
"People can only work hard on their own to escape the cycle of life and death, but cannot rely on others."
If we want to be happy and peaceful, we must remain alert, conscious, and mindful. "Greed takes over a person who does not know how to cultivate his mind, just like rain dripping into a house with a damaged roof."
Pave the roof of the spiritual hut
Type a string of true words into Google Or delusional illnesses, so that you can know what kind of incurable disease you are currently suffering from.
More does not mean better.
I think all strict and certain rules are terrible, because life is beautiful because of its ambiguity.
Stay self-aware and connected to the universal world, and don’t live a seesaw life wandering between hope and fear.
Kindness is the crusher of the ego, or, in the words of Schopenhauer, the crusher of the will. Kindness frees us from the pain of desire and craving. When we suffer from intense self-consciousness, being selfless and mindful seems to be an effective solution.
Each of us is important because we all have lives.
In the final analysis, we are all the same, we are all life and consciousness.
Feeling that we are part of the human race, rather than isolated individuals, can also make us feel better. Just as the withering of one cell will not affect the operation of the entire living organism, our bodies will one day wither and age, but as part of the entire body of life, we will continue to live and breathe.
1.13
8． No one has ever felt this way, not ever, not in all of human history.
Me then: I couldn’t handle the pain.
Me now: I know. But you will learn to deal with it. It's worth it.
Your body tricks your brain into believing that you cannot be trusted.
The brain also tricks the body. Pay attention to the root causes of low mood – lifestyle habits of overwork and too little sleep.
After a series of disastrous interviews, I got a job selling advertising space at the Press in Croydon.
I can no longer stand calling people who don't want to hear my calls. So I resigned and just walked out. I'm a loser, a quitter. I accomplished nothing and had no hope for the future. I was sliding down the abyss, about to fall prey to depression. But I didn’t realize it, or I didn’t care. All I wanted to do was escape.
As the first species to be fully aware of the vastness of the universe, humans also have the ability to perceive darkness and pain as vast as the universe. Perhaps this is the price of human wisdom.
No matter how many times I stress it in my mind, just one doubt can overturn everything. Just one drop of ink dropped into a glass of water contaminates the entire glass, so once I realize I'm not fully recovered, I feel like I'm still very sick.
1.15
I returned to the table and sat down, not telling anyone how I felt. Telling the truth would only make the situation worse, pretending to be normal would make me feel better. I choose to pretend to be normal.
From the outside, I may look a little sluggish and lethargic than normal over the next few months, but my brain keeps working relentlessly and at an excruciating speed. . Inability to think about the future. (There is no future for me.)
Fear of going crazy, fear of being sent to a mental hospital, put in restraints, locked in a soft-walled ward.
Agoraphobia.
Feeling useless.
Growing sexual fantasies. (Using sexual fantasies to balance fear of death.)
Desire to be someone else, anyone can.
The desire to escape from oneself.
A week, a day, an hour, God, a second.
These experiences were so strange that I thought I was the only person in history (this was pre-Wikipedia) who had had these experiences. In fact, at any given moment, millions of people are experiencing these pains.
You cannot relax for a moment, and you are on the verge of collapse every second. You desperately try to surface and breathe air - things that are such a luxury for you, but not for those on the shore. Air at your fingertips.
As long as you are awake, you will not be able to escape this fear for a second. This is no exaggeration. You long for a second, even a second where you can be free from fear, but that second never comes.
With depression and anxiety, pain is no longer something you can "think" about, because it is your thought itself. Your back is only part of you, and your thoughts are all of you.
When you are extremely depressed or anxious (can’t leave the house, can’t get off the sofa, and your mind is filled with depression)
Bad days come in different levels, not all at the same level. Too bad. Those really bad days, although scary and hard to get through, can come in handy later. You save them and build a bad days bank.
There is a cushion there. We just stay here looking at it, contemplating the infinite sadness of the cushion.
At your lowest moments, you mistakenly imagine that no other person in the world will ever experience such a terrible feeling.
This feeling of never finding mental peace is exhausting. The feeling that every positive thought was stillborn was killing me.
Tears are a language, and I feel that all languages ??are far away from me. Tears are not mine. Tears are shed in purgatory. When you have reached hell, it will be too late to shed tears. The tears will be burned out before they flow out.
Doesn’t have the magical ability to see into my heart.
No one knows how difficult this is. When people look at you from the outside, they can only see the shape of your body. They see that you are a unity of atoms and molecules. No one can see that inside you are as if you have experienced the Big Bang, and your self-consciousness has been shattered into fragments and scattered everywhere. In the boundless dark universe.
According to research by the World Health Organization, almost half of all psychological disorders have their onset before the age of 14.
I had a pretty normal, average childhood. But I never considered myself to be very normal. (Is there anyone who feels very normal?)
However, throughout my childhood, I experienced this fear again and again, and I inadvertently taught myself how to be anxious. In a world of infinite possibilities, so are the possibilities for pain, loss, life and death. Fear breeds imagination, imagination breeds fear, and so on, until it drives you crazy.
I still remember clearly what she said at that time when I wrote this book 26 years later. She said, "Well, I don't want that guy sitting next to me. He has spider legs on his face." When I wanted to crawl into the cracks in the ground, she continued to explain, "The scabs on his face have hair. , looks like a spider.”
I was imagining another space, where I was dead, and the girl heard that I was dead, and the guilt made her cry non-stop. It was suicidal, but it comforted me to think so.
That has to be attributed to adolescent stupidity and the desire to be gregarious, and has nothing to do with depression.
Like a medieval curse.
I am not a very gregarious person. When I meet others, my self is shattered and I become what others expect me to be. But paradoxically, I always felt like there was something strong inside me. I don't know what it is, but it keeps building up, like a flood held back by a dam. Later, I suffered from depression and anxiety attacks. I felt that my illness was the result of the accumulation of all those strong suppressed emotions. It was like a dam bursting. If it is too difficult for you to release yourself, then the self will burst out and drown. Your consciousness, trying to drown all your failed, half-truths.
I never realized before that people could be locked in their own thoughts.
The number of male suicides is much higher than that of females.
According to survey data from the World Health Organization, the only countries and regions where the number of female suicides is greater than that of males is mainland China and Hong Kong. In every other country, men commit the majority of suicides.
Men often view mental illness as a weakness and are reluctant to seek help.
If you suffer from mental illness, don’t worry, you are part of a large and ever-expanding group.
One billion ordinary people struggle with depression.
Conversation. listen. Encourage conversation. Encourage listening. Make the conversation richer and richer.
Depression is not you, it is just something that happens to you, something that can be alleviated by talking to it. Words, comfort, support. It took me ten years to dare and be able to speak openly and appropriately about my experiences to readers. I quickly discovered that talking was therapeutic in itself. Where there is conversation, there is hope.
“…After the storm is over, you won’t remember how you survived. You’re not even sure the storm is really over.
But one thing is for sure: when you make it through the storm, you are no longer the same person. That's all about the storm. ”
——Haruki Murakami, "Kafka on the Shore"
2
One side effect of depression is that you sometimes become extra attentive The operation of the brain.
"Reasons to Live"
2.3
Why am I still alive? Isn't it better to feel nothing than to suffer? Isn’t it greater than -1000?
Don’t worry about yourself. You can worry, but don’t worry about it.
We still remember being 10 years old. When we went on vacation to the Dordogne? We looked at ourselves in the mirror and began to worry about the lines on our foreheads because we were always afraid of death. >If I give her anything, let her be herself.
They only value you because you are a workaholic.
One day, it will be painless. Seconds turn into minutes, hours and even days
They leave you shaking, incoherent, leaning your head against the window, begging for a return to the days before they appeared.
2.18.
Sex is a positive pastime for a young, anxious mind
Money, Martin Amis
"You're getting weaker every hour. Sometimes, when I sit alone in my London flat and stare out the window, I think how bleak and heavy it is to watch the rain fall and not know why it's falling. ”
Pepys’s relatively lighthearted account of that turbulent era has a therapeutic effect on me.
3.7
Although I am renting I could barely speak in the car
That night I closed my eyes and couldn't sleep for several hours
3.17
I hugged her and said no. When I spoke, I suddenly felt that my words were powerless in the face of tragedy.
“I can’t be alone at home. Separation anxiety would give me panic attacks. ”
3.24
Excessive thirst
Depression can have no cause.
Depression can also make you feel guilty Feeling.
Me at that time: Ha! Would anyone want to be with a useless freak like me?
Depression lets you know how much you can become in a day. So long and intense.
Don't worry about the passage of time.
The possibility that I will still be alive in 10 years. Much better.
No one’s life is perfect.
I want proof. p> Me now: I can’t prove it.
“My heart will be broken, but I will live brokenly. ”
——Byron, "The Travels of Childe Harold"
4 Alive
The world is deliberately promoting depression, because happiness Bad for the economy. If what we have now makes us happy, why should we pursue more?
In this day and age, tranquility has become a way of being unconventional and content with our chaos. of the human ego, which is bad for business.
Still, from my personal experience, anxiety is more treatable than depression.
It treats the mind as well as the body. Treat it as a whole.
She is obviously thinking that this person is so weird.
Sometimes on this stumbling road to recovery, those things you feel. Failure may just help you take a step forward.
In the words of Kurt Vonnegut - be aware of yourself in the "amber" moment.
p>
How much time do we really live in the present, but how much time is wasted on being excited or worried about the future, regretting or mourning the past?
We seem to understand that turning life into Becoming a race for material things will only make it shorter, not time, but your perception of time.
In the past, I often used distraction methods to resolve worries. < /p>
I'm afraid of anything that might change my mind
We have to allow ourselves to feel the storm of it, but always understand that this is a normal change in weather.
Reasons to Live
2.4
Andrea does some sporadic PR work, and I try not to go crazy.
< p>The tutor hates me. I don't know if "hate" is the right word, but he does not like me. He is Catholic, dresses formally, and speaks to me with subtle contempt.Murakami. Haruki also said: “Do your best within your own limits, this is the essence of running. ”
Going for a run every day is equivalent to fighting with yourself every day.
If I force myself to run for an hour on a cold, humid, and gray morning, I seem to have more Combat ability, a bit like "depression, you better be careful, don't mess with me".
3.24
Writing, reading, talking, traveling, yoga, meditation, running, these are the weapons I prepare to fight depression