Haruki Murakami said, "It has been my lifelong dream to be alone at the bottom of a well."
Perhaps this is one of the reasons why Murakami has such a huge literary influence around the world. Because loneliness is eroding our lives. Some boys and girls would plug in their headphones amidst the noise and listen to the soft, long, slightly sad music. Sitting in a little corner in the last row of the bus. Or walk on a quiet path that no one knows about.
We all long to be immersed in this feeling of loneliness, no longer disturbed or rejected. However, these are all false feelings. The longer you immerse yourself, the less powerful you will be to return to the crowd.
Just like a country house is the dream of many people. How desirable is a corner that is definitely your own. Just like another self-confession of Haruki Murakami, I just want to hide quietly in a corner alone, pet the cat, and listen to jazz.
But there is no corner in heaven. Indulging in self-pity and escaping will only drain all our strength.
We couldn’t afford drugs, so we substituted all kinds of things for drugs. They bring about the same paralyzing effect and demoralizing effect as drugs. When I was in junior high school, going to school was my nightmare. Many times I went to bed without a quilt on purpose so that I could catch a cold and avoid going to school. Because the school is bullied by bullies, ridiculed by teachers and top students, and insulted and despised by poor students.
My parents couldn't understand because they didn't know the days I spent in school and couldn't see the truth in my heart. They may even be worried about poor grades due to not going to school. Their worries are not wrong, because they work hard to send their children to school just because they hope that they can study well.
Therefore, in this world that no one cares about or understands, the soul can only cry out and save itself feebly. If you can understand this, you can also understand why those children fall in love early, are addicted to games, and even become rebellious, rebellious, silent, often angry, and depressed.
It is precisely because the hurt is too deep that it cannot be hidden and I don’t know what to do, so I take various actions to express it. I once heard a conversation between two girls that struck me as one asking the other if we couldn't live without men. The other didn't answer, remaining angry and sad in silence.
The silent girl is still a high school student and has dated more than ten people in just two semesters. It's the same plot and the same outcome every time, but the comfort from my companions is different. Because the girl who asked the question was tired of it. She didn't understand why the silent girl was so crazy and stupid. Time after time I listened to those vain words, only to be abandoned and hurt time after time.
Silent Girl found many types of boys, including a few ruffians. Those gangsters can't even speak sweet words, they can only raise and lower their hands. But she thought that such a boy would solve her inner loneliness.
Behind loneliness is the search for understanding and care. The reason why those guys who seduce young girls succeed is not because they are clever, but because the loneliness of the girls stimulates their hearts. A cheap sentence of "I like you" makes the eager heart start to stir. Little does anyone know how many people these seducers have said these empty and powerless words. Just like the pure and beautiful girl Celia, she was seduced by a villain and abandoned to die in despair.
But the occurrence of these tragedies cannot arouse our attention and thinking, which is even more pitiful.
Therefore, it is really worrying that Haruki Murakami’s works are so in line with the inner world of modern people. Because Murakami is not only writing about the truth about human loneliness, but also about his own escape and feelings about loneliness. As Murakami himself said in two sentences, he could not solve his loneliness. He could only live in a state of self-pity and self-sorrow, and even indulged in it and forgot the truth that loneliness is desolate.
He described loneliness as being like a soft rainy day in bed. It's like walking on a beautiful path on a sunny afternoon. His loneliness is beautiful and sad, like clouds floating on the sea. It has no weight at all. We must reject Murakami-style loneliness, because it is self-licking wounds and self-paralysis. Beautifying loneliness by immersing yourself in painful emotions will only make people more illusory, without causing real confrontation and real pain. Murakami even said in "1Q84" that he is alone, but not alone.
This sentence declares a kind of humanity, a humanity that can completely solve loneliness and self-satisfaction. Even Murakami's protagonists have such characteristics. They have elegant taste, perseverance, quick action, wisdom to solve problems, excellent living habits and calmness in the face of suffering. They seem to be supermen who cannot be defeated. Although they live among the rough crowd, they are not ordinary at all. And they don't need to be loved. Never having a wife or having a wife betray them will not make any waves in their feelings, because wives are dispensable in their lives, it is just a fact of living together. Apart from this fact, they were strangers, two completely unrelated people.
They have no tears and no need for tears. And tears are an expression of true emotion. A person who does not cry is not a person with a strong character, but a person with a cold and hard character.
These protagonists may be the expression of Murakami's inner heart, just like the protagonists in my novels all hide a cold and vicious knife. They will never give in in the face of violence and harm, and vow to kill the perpetrators. They have calm emotions and quick thinking, and no power can stop their revenge. They are also the supreme judge. Justice does not come from God, but from them.
The opposite of these superhuman protagonists is us. Unable to solve problems, cowardly and evasive, miserable due to suffering, full of resentment due to loss of justice.
"Kino" is one of the most realistic characters in Murakami's works. He was silent and honest, but his wife bullied him and committed adultery because of his honesty. Completely humiliating his dignity and value as a man. The wife does not respect her husband but despise him. If Kino hadn't found out, this kind of contempt and humiliation would have continued, and the truth would not have been revealed even when she was pregnant.
Just like the weakest person in the class will always be bullied. People tend to rub salt into wounds and add insult to injury. Even though he is so cowardly, he still bullies him and makes him even more undignified. The same is true for Kino. What he gained from his honest character was not his wife's loyalty, but betrayal.
So Kino's ordinary and boring life was overturned, like an overturned cup on the table. Murakami did not describe any of Kino's emotional outbursts, but just a simple sentence. Kino lowered his head and closed the door.
Then Kino escaped from this world, a world that betrayed him, hurt him, and gave him no respect at all. He hid in a quiet corner of the world, trying to bury his inner pain and not face his true feelings. He even comforted himself by saying that there was nothing he could do about it.
We have also heard this sentence in countless movies, TV series and people around us. If you want to be open, tomorrow will be better. Although this sentence is nonsense, it reveals the fact that we want to escape.
Kino also named his bar Kino, in other words, he became a bar. This is not a spacious, quiet place. The situation in the bar is an expression of his inner world. Kino tried hard to avoid any emotional excitement and pretended to be an emotionless person.
This was all broken by Kanda. Kanda is the author’s emissary. Just like prophets are representatives of God. Kanda came to break Kino's disguise and the escape world Kino had built for himself. His appearance reminded Kino that he lived in the world, not in a personal bar. His pretense will only make things worse. Nor will his forgetfulness make the hurt he suffered go away.
The appearance and departure of cats and the appearance of snakes also stimulated Kino. The cat brings comfort to Kino, and is Kino's only helper and comforter when his wife who hurt and betrayed him seeks Kino's forgiveness by living a nourishing and contented life without any guilt.
But cats cannot bring real comfort to Kino, because cats are just cats. So the cat will leave.
The arrival of his wife brought deeper harm to Kino. Because Kino simply doesn't want to recall his wife's betrayal and the harm it caused. But my wife still came and was more cheerful and healthy than before. What a painful humiliation this was for Kino. Because the betrayer was the wife, she lived a better life and had no shame. But Kino's hard and diligent work seemed so worthless. His wife humiliated Kino over and over again.
Then the wife shamelessly sought Kino's forgiveness. She had no guilt or shame at all. Just out of politeness and shame. When she lived with her adulterous partner, she had no idea what Kino felt like in the bar. Kino's life and humanity have been reduced to the size of a bar.
Hence the snake appeared. It comes to warn Kino that if he does not face true emotions, he will be swallowed up by falsehood. Kanda also came to warn Kino so that he could not continue to immerse himself in his own bar.
Then the cat disappeared. Kino began wandering and looking for a new escape. But I couldn't find it anywhere. But the pain in his heart gradually became apparent. There was a strong wail in the heart, which was the real memories and emotions that Kino had been escaping and suppressing for a long time. It was knocking, powerfully. In order to break into the door and let Kino see his true self that is truly broken and full of injuries.
The arrival of his wife shattered the false world that Kino had painstakingly created. Kino's wandering was a complete failure and powerlessness in the end. Because this world is a world full of hurt and humiliation, and there is no love anywhere.
At the end, Kino hid in a small hotel and cried bitterly. Outside the door was the scream of the soul, and outside the window was the cold rain. And this is the nature of the world.
There is no place for it, no comfort, no mercy.
This is the greatness and limitation of literature. It can tell you the truth, but it cannot solve your problems. It can even only share your sorrow.