American meeting etiquette and behaviors and language that they think are impolite?

Americans don't necessarily shake hands when they meet, but just smile and say hello, even if it's the first time they meet, and China regards holding hands as the basic etiquette. However, China does not have too many restrictions on shaking hands, and Americans have certain manners to shake hands. For example, between men and women, the woman reaches out first. If the woman has no intention of shaking hands, the man can only nod and bow. Between the old and the young, the elders reach out first; Between the superior and the subordinate, the superior reaches out first; Between the host and the guest, the host holds out his hand first. And look at each other when shaking hands and take off your gloves, otherwise it will be considered impolite. In America, people like to call each other by their first names, which is a friendly gesture. Even though they may call each other by their surnames at the beginning of the conversation, they will change their names later. In China, people like to be called so-and-so manager and so-and-so president, because it is a symbol of status and status. But in America, people rarely use formal titles to address others. Official titles are only used for judges, senior government officials, military officers, doctors, professors and senior religious figures. It is worth noting that the United States has never used administrative titles such as directors, managers and responsible persons to address others. In addition, when talking with people, you must not talk about personal affairs, such as age, marriage, income, beliefs and so on. Don't ask the price of what others buy; When you see someone coming back, you can't ask him where he went and where he came from, otherwise he will be disgusted. Americans often use "nose sticking out of someone's private life" to express their contempt for questioners. In China, however, the boundaries of personal privacy are far less profound, and people don't care about others' general understanding of their lives. However, when dealing with Americans in China, it seems common for China people to ask each other some family information. Americans may think that you have violated his privacy and have ulterior motives, and such a business may be ruined.

1. Ask politely

Brown and levinson pointed out in their politeness principle theory that the speech act of requesting is essentially a face-threatening act. Request/demand and politeness are mutually exclusive in essence, because if the other party wants to accept or respond to the request/demand, it is bound to suffer certain "losses". In order to make this kind of behavior that is essentially harmful to the other party more acceptable and protect the negative face of the other party, it is usually necessary to choose a more polite and euphemistic expression, which is actually a more polite way. For example:

(1) We will thank you for your trial order.

We would appreciate it if you could make us the most favorable firm offer.

If you agree to divide the goods into two equal parts, please let us know so that we can make corresponding arrangements.

In case your company does not handle the import of electrical products, we will be very grateful to you for forwarding this letter to the right company.

The above examples are all requests from the writer to the recipient, hoping to achieve their own beneficial goals. Examples (1) and (2) are commonly used in foreign trade correspondence to express the expected reply to the method. Example (1) expects the other party to place a trial order, and example (2) expects the other party to make the most favorable firm offer; In example (3), the author asked the other party to allow the goods to be shipped in two equal batches; In example (4), the writer asked the other party to forward the letter to the import company dealing in electrical appliances. These expressions are that the writer is asking the other party to do something extra and beneficial to him, which is beyond the scope of the trustee's obligation. The receiver doesn't have to take responsibility for the requested content, so the writer adopts a euphemistic tone in order to avoid using direct request to exercise direct coercion, that is, it is more polite to protect the listener's "face" than to use direct language behavior.

Polite refusal

No matter what the wording is, the "rejection letter" in foreign trade letters conveys unpleasant information, and its essence is impolite. Such as refusing the other party's counter-offer, refusing to renew the order, refusing to amend the letter of credit, refusing to settle claims, etc. The purpose of rejecting a letter is to reject the request of the writer, who is the injured party, so the relationship between "benefit and loss" in the letter is unbalanced. Therefore, when refusing the other party's request, in order not to embarrass the other party, or to minimize the expression harmful to the other party, reply to letters and telegrams to express the refusal indirectly as far as possible, so that the recipient can feel respect while being rejected, reduce the threat to the recipient's "face" and even "benefit" the recipient's "face" to a certain extent. For example:

(5) Instead of 15% underwear price reduction, we suggest that all orders with an amount of $3,000 or more be reduced by 8%.

The literal meaning of example (5) is to inform the other party that all products with orders of $3,000 or more can be reduced by 8%, instead of reducing the price of an underwear product by 15%, but the actual meaning is a kind of "refusal" and "threat": not fully accepting the other party's price reduction request, and at the same time informing the other party that the total amount of the order can not be less than $3,000, otherwise this sentence is fully reflected for all products in order 8. On the one hand, it is beneficial to the other party's "face", on the other hand, the writer also avoids paying too much attention to the other party's face and making himself suffer unnecessary "losses".

Politely express your dissatisfaction

The illocutionary functions of illocutionary acts such as criticism, warning, accusation and scolding conflict with social functions, which is impolite in nature. In order to make the essentially impolite information accepted and achieve the expected communicative purpose, the requirements for politeness are quite high, and appropriate politeness strategies must be adopted. When Leech( 1983) explained the principle of irony, he said: "If you have to offend others, at least let the listener indirectly get the true meaning of your words through the conversational implicature in an undisclosed way that violates the politeness principle." In the practice of international trade, failure to open a letter of credit, shipment and payment as agreed will lead to the dissatisfaction of the other party. However, when expressing dissatisfaction in letters and telegrams, writers often use indirect speech acts to euphemistically express words that threaten face and avoid direct conflicts, which can also achieve the expected communicative effect.

In urging immediate shipment (foreign trade English letter Zhuge Lin, 2000), at the beginning of the letter, "We hope to draw your attention ……" is used to remind the other party that the letter of credit is about to expire. The author's actual intention is to express dissatisfaction with the lack of any shipment news. Then state that the sales season is coming, the buyer is in urgent need of the goods, and gently explain the reasons for urging the goods; Then, we will appreciate it if you can ship as soon as possible, so as to "enable them to seize the risk demand at the beginning of the season." ; Finally, we use "We want to inform you that any delay in delivery of our order will have a great impact on us." Warn the other party of the serious consequences of delayed shipment. Because "warning" is detrimental to the other party's "face", letters and telegrams objectively state the difficulties that the writer may face, let the other party understand the reasons for issuing "warning", and also take care of the other party's positive face to a certain extent.

The meaning of the letter urging immediate shipment is the buyer's criticism or accusation that the seller may delay the shipment, with the aim of urging the other party to ship immediately. However, in the actual letter writing, the buyer does not blindly express his dissatisfaction directly, but uses indirect speech acts to downplay the toughness and directness of the accusation, so as to indirectly express the meaning of the accusation, including the dissatisfaction information in the narrative process, so that the receiver can understand the seriousness of the problem and the sender can avoid naked accusations and criticisms, thus reducing the threat to the positive.