Love is an eternal topic. Since there is human, there is love. In the history of China, there are endless love stories, such as Zhuo Wenjun's elopement with Sima Xiangru, Jiao Zhongqing's double suicide with Liu Lanzhi, the "Tianhe Meeting" between the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl, the "Fairy Couple" between the Seven Fairys and Yong Dong, the separation of the White Lady and Xu Xian, Liang Zhu's infatuation with two butterflies, the peony pavilion and flowers as the medium, and Cai E and Fengxian Xiao, all of which are familiar love stories. How did the ancients fall in love? It can be said that there are many forests, and the situation is various and different.
Peacocks fly southeast; Southeast Fly the Peacocks; The Peacock Flies Southeast
Parents' orders, matchmakers' words and love after marriage are the norm.
In thousands of years of ancient times, men and women were highly unequal. What men and women pay attention to in marriage is "the life of parents, the words of matchmakers". Most men and women have never met before marriage, which depends entirely on the judgment of matchmaker Qiaozui Zhang and his parents. The so-called "marry a chicken with a chicken, marry a dog with a dog, marry a piece of wood and carry it away." According to the ethics formulated by Confucianism, women "don't marry their fathers, marry their husbands, and their husbands die." At home, she "has a father from her father and no father from her brother". It doesn't count anyway. How can there be love when the social status is low? Resignation is a woman's only choice.
Because women's social status is low, they can't ask for divorce as they do now, so ancient marriages are relatively stable. In a patriarchal society, men can divorce their wives and have multiple concubines in pursuit of what men call "happiness", while women can only obey and maintain the "four virtues", that is, "female virtue, female speech, female appearance and female virtue". Theoretically, men can't be jealous when they have mistresses. What she should do is to live in peace with this concubine. A good wife and mother is a model of ancient women.
Ancient wedding scene
In this case, it is conceivable that most ancient marriages were impossible to be "happy", especially for women, and it was even more difficult to get a husband. This is why Pan Jinlian cheated on Ximen Qing and drugged Wu Dalang. However, people are emotional animals. Except for a few people who had been in love before marriage, most people in ancient times fell in love after marriage and slowly cultivated their feelings. Because of ethical constraints, women often spend all their emotions on their husbands. If this man also likes this woman, he will naturally meet the spark of love after marriage.
Therefore, we can see that in ancient times, most of the love after marriage was in the form of "the husband sings with the woman", and this habit has been affecting today.
In pursuit of happiness, brave women have been resisting.
In ancient times, the type of "husbands singing and women following" in marriage was also resisted by many women. They don't want to be dominated by fate, and they don't want to commit themselves to each other without meeting men, so they break through all kinds of stereotypes and take the initiative to pursue their own happiness. Lucky people pursue their own happiness, but because this kind of behavior will be opposed by secular society, unfortunate tragedies also happen from time to time.
The story of actively pursuing happiness to the end is everywhere in Xinshi and unofficial history. The most famous stories of Sima Xiangru and Zhuo Wenjun are a typical example. Zhuo Wenjun heard the sound of Sima Xiangru playing at home, secretly saw Sima Xiangru's handsome appearance, and couldn't help but feel love. She eloped with Sima Xiangru in spite of her parents' strong opposition. Fortunately, in Sima Xiangru and Zhuo Wenjun, "uncooked rice is cooked into mature rice", Zhuo Wenjun's parents no longer insist on opposing it. On the contrary, they gave the young couple a lot of money, and Sima Xiangru lived up to expectations and was favored by the emperor. He didn't live in poverty all his life. Although the love between husband and wife has had emotional twists and turns, it finally ended in reconciliation.
Sima Xiangru and Zhuo Wenjun.
The story of Yang Jiajiang is familiar to everyone, and the story with Mu is also a legendary love story. Mu Guiying actively pursued Yang Zongbao, captured Yang Zongbao alive and defeated Yang Zongbao's father Yang Liulang. Finally, under the condition of giving Longmu, I got the love permission of the Yang family. Although this period of history is unofficial history, there are still relics of Mukezhai in Beijing, which are said to be descendants of Mu.
But most love stories are not as lucky as Zhuo Wenjun and Mu. Both the Weaver Girl and the Seven Fairies in the sky actively pursue happiness, but in the end, the Weaver Girl and the Cowherd can only meet once a year at the Queqiao Bridge, and the Seven Fairies are forced to return to heaven to separate husband and wife. Not to mention those people on the ground, Jiao Zhongqing and Liu Lanzhi both died of double suicide in the end, and butterfly lovers also died of double suicide in become a butterfly. Pan Jinlian in Water Margin is even described as an adulteress. Ximen Qing is certainly not a good thing, but Pan Jinlian's marriage to Wu Dalang is obviously not the right couple. At present, she has the right to pursue happiness, but at that time, her only way out is to spend her life with Wu Dalang.
Seduce women, the ancients are far more vulgar and elegant than today.
Since ancient times, it has been a patriarchal society, and love is often one-sided. There are more cases in which men flirt with women. Except for some bullies who bully women, the love of the ancients, especially the love of literati, is more elegant and much more vulgar than the present bride price, car, house and ticket.
As early as the Spring and Autumn Period, in the Book of Songs, there were many love poems handed down, such as "Guan Guan's dove is in Jiangzhou." A beautiful and virtuous woman is a good spouse of a gentleman. Mix shepherd's purse and salvage it from left to right. A beautiful and virtuous woman wakes up to pursue her. If you can't pursue it, the black nightclub misses her during the day. Miss Long, I can't sleep over and over again. Mix shepherd's purse and choose from left to right. A beautiful and virtuous woman came to her with a couple and a couple. Pull shepherd's purse from left to right. My fair lady, the bells and drums are full of music ","sitting on a pigeon doesn't eat mulberries. "Being a woman has nothing to worry about. I can still get rid of my troubles. You can't get rid of women's embarrassment. " "Give me Mu Tao and give me Qiong Yao." Although he didn't leave a name, the romantic love style at that time could be read from the poem.
Love Poems in The Book of Songs
After Qin and Han Dynasties, China's poems gradually developed, and courtship with poems and songs became the most popular expression of love. Sima Xiangru's "Phoenix Begging for Phoenix" wrote: "There is a beautiful woman, and I will never forget her when I see her. I want to go crazy if I can't see you for a day. The phoenix flies high, and the four seas seek to burn. Helpless beauty, not in the east wall. " Liu Xiu, Emperor Guangwu, said: "The official should be a golden servant, and his wife should be Yin Lihua." In the Tang Dynasty, Li Bai said, "Only when you enter my lovesick door will you know that I am lovesick." Bai Juyi's Langtaosha describes his feelings like this: "What is the relationship between a gentleman and a concubine? It is better to believe that it is better to hate each other. Acacia began to feel that the sea is not deep. " But Yuan Ruwen said, "Ask what the world is like and teach me to live and die together." Qin Guan said with emotion in "The Fairy of the Que Bridge": "Love is like water, courtesy is like a dream, and I am resistant to returning to the Que Bridge. If you are in love for a long time, it will be sooner or later. " There is a saying in Yan Shu that when there is poverty in the corner of the world, there is only endless acacia.
There are many men and women who express their feelings with poems, among which Li Qingzhao is the most famous. "Flowers from Shui Piao to water, a kind of acacia, two leisure. There is no way to eliminate this situation. You can only frown and take it to heart. " . Write a love letter today, steal a note and throw it in the past, and make an appointment for the time and place. In ancient times, it was necessary to send letters to relieve the suffering of lovesickness. In this way, poetry not only expresses feelings, but also exercises writing style, which is worthy of the name of a romantic talent and talented woman.