Such pain, like the tide, swept through my memory. I know that this is what I should bear, no matter where I stand in life, I will bear it silently. However, I know better that I am just wandering in memories. After the pain, I am still me, and I can't deviate from the track of my life.
Where are you at the same table? How are you doing?
In the yard, the children are running in the rain without restraint, laughing. Laughter is so clean, so pure, so carefree. What about us? I really want to see the shadow of joy at that time, however, in front of my eyes, only the lonely figure when you left. It is that back, which is often lit at the bottom of my heart like fire. However, the gate of memory opened mercilessly, leaving me far away, and you were blurred in my sight.
The yard is quiet, the children's laughter is far away, and the children's footsteps are far away. Watching the thin rain falling from the sky seems to bring warm weather like water, but those hurried steps quietly stop their eyes on you. Those days were beautiful because of purity, and full of expectations because of beauty.
I went back to the past, when I was a teenager full of laughter, when I was a carefree student.
In my memory, you at the same table are shy and flexible. Although we have never exchanged a word, you will always be in my heart. That green desktop, because of you, the story of youth is engraved in my heart; In the military green schoolbag, because of you, the dream has become dull and as beautiful as spring. What a wonderful feeling it is. Who says the ignorance of youth is as bitter as a green apple? It is obviously a sunny flower, which is slightly open in the rain in front of the window.
Over the years, I often wander in that beautiful memory, but I smile bitterly at my ignorance at that time. I stole your double forest paper countless times and doodled it just to get your attention. You will never live up to my expectations. Your acquiescence and indifference make me the air in your eyes. However, I just like the peace in your eyes. You are like a noble and elegant lily. When you open in my eyes, you are all to me.
That year, rape blossoms in spring and March pierced the sky. My friends and I laughed unscrupulously and floated in the wind among the flowers; Speak freely in all directions, covering up ignorance as a deep era and spreading the world of youth and frivolous. When I was reading, I glanced at you from time to time. Sometimes you meditate, sometimes you frown. At this moment, you are like a bunch of delicate yellow flowers, with a strong youthful atmosphere. However, in our laughter, you can't be quiet at last, so you can only leave silently. Those helpless eyes have no complaints at all. Watching your back disappear into the yellow flowers, my laughter stopped abruptly. Without you, this boundless yellow will become colorless, and its beauty is only because of you.
However, I care about you so much, but I hurt you mercilessly. Perhaps this is youth, not flowers, but the invasion of ice and rain. I am the ruthless wind, bringing ice rain. I whispered "player, player" behind your beautiful back, completely making your smile disappear in my sight. I think you must be crying silently in a corner that I can't see. At that time, I was so stupid because you loved singing opera? That "player" is not disdain for you, but an ignorant teenager's yearning for love. That ignorant, crazy son of a bitch made it impossible for you to stay in your favorite campus anymore. You left, full of grievances, quietly.
Your departure, like a rain in cool thin, burned all the enthusiasm in my youth; Your departure is like the setting sun, and there is no light in my world. In the days to come, I will never see your quiet meditation or your beautiful posture of burying your head in a book. Is this my punishment? Let my extravagant hope of seeing you every day go up in smoke.
During that time, I looked at the empty chair beside me and the handwriting you left on the green desk. All I can think about is you, crazy, crazy. I wrote "I love you" over and over again in heavy handwriting in my notebook. However, I know that no amount of words can make up for my apology to you. I wrote and tore, tore and wrote, and the torn white paper left a deep impression of I miss you. In those days, I missed you so much that my academic performance fell to the bottom.
Until one day, the secret I hid in my heart was discovered by my strict father. Under repeated torture, I exposed you in my heart. However, my father's words made me afraid to come near you again. The "player" died and did not enter the ancestral grave. This spell that made me tremble when I was young, this deep-rooted concept, and this warning that my immature heart could not bear left a lifelong regret. Perhaps, my father's lies are well-intentioned, but they make me feel that you have become so far away and out of reach. In my weak heart, I can only regard you as a beautiful episode in my life journey.
From then on, I stopped in your back, in the yellow of rape blossoms everywhere, I couldn't see the ignorant boy or the beautiful you.
In this early spring and February, the rain once again wet my mind. Life can be repeated without love. Perhaps, in a rainy season in the future, I will toss and turn in that unforgettable time. I don't ask you to forgive my ignorance and cowardice, but I will make up for it with my life and memories.
If there is a God in the world, I expect him to tell me your news, whether it is as quiet, flexible and strong as ever, or as lonely as a roadside tree.
It's still raining, and no children are playing at the window. I know, such days are really gone forever. However, I will still bless you silently in time.
Looking back ten thousand times, I look forward to meeting you.
In thousands of memories, we cherish each other.
In the long years, we cherish beauty and don't regret it.