When I wanted to be a poet in the second grade, I always felt that my writing was not good. Can you give me some advice: the thick shade swims into the small corridor with coolness and gently waves th

When I wanted to be a poet in the second grade, I always felt that my writing was not good. Can you give me some advice: the thick shade swims into the small corridor with coolness and gently waves the soil? This song is good, much better than Life is Nature. "Just passed away.

The scene is vivid, with images and, most importantly, subjective feelings.

But through this poem, I still found some problems:

There are too many duplicate words in 1.

"De" was used five times, and it doesn't rhyme.

Some places are suggested to be deleted appropriately, such as "lightly brushing the earth color small sleeve".

Use "le" as little as possible. Such as Fan Out a Green World.

3 avoid symmetry. Poetry should write its own style.

Shade and gloomy trees.

4 avoid grammatical errors.

Decorating the growth of big trees with "blooming" is a wrong collocation in itself.

5 sentences should be as tactful as possible.

For example, "the branches are shaking violently again."

Change to: Turn into a shadow on the horizon.

6 Use less objective objects and more "her".