This "late night moon shines not far away"
Why not the stars? But what about the moon?
At dawn
Just write "Dawn". Otherwise, it will be repeated.
"Never go out"
Used to describe that life is not very good.
"I gradually slowed down.
Appreciate this so-called colorful world
Finally "
The connection between these three lines and the upper and lower sentences is unnatural and slightly stiff.
"I just understand the definition of happiness in the old population."
I think it is better to use meaning.
"I quickly (changed to" ground ") wrote it on paper."
It is best to divide it into several sections.
This is a whole.
It's easy to feel tired after reading it.
Language needs refining and tempering.
Although some statements are not wrong, they are not fluent in English.
But not as concise as poetry.
Generally speaking, it's not bad. Keep trying.
Humble laughter