Helpless, I did badly in the college entrance examination. No one knows how I spent that time, Lacrimosa? Come down? These words are not enough to describe me properly, because I am suffering more pain inside. The achievement that once made me proudest also made me fall the worst. I even began to wonder if my life would ever change.
I spend every day in a daze. As a foodie, I don't know how to eat. My parents once thought I was depressed and afraid that I would do something stupid. Please please me in different ways every day and walk around with me indoors, hoping I can be happier. It is wrong to say that I am not moved. I felt sorry for my parents and began to accept the reality and everything I had decided.
I bought a lot of reference books. As before, I bought new schoolbags, new stationery and new book covers. I have made full preparations for the re-reading, and I seem to have returned to my previous state and become that confident and optimistic self.
My father thinks that I am too stubborn and the variables of repeating courses are too great, so I shouldn't take the risk. After all, I am a minor student, and repeating courses is a gamble. I won't listen. My family has a cold war every day. Every time I find an opportunity, he always tells me a lot of truth. My hard-won determination was shaken again and again because of their preaching.
Finally, I compromised, reconciled with myself, and compromised with reality. I admit that I am a coward, and I am also afraid that the results of re-reading are not satisfactory. I accepted the arrangement of my family and asked them to choose a school for me as a volunteer. My only requirement is to go out of the province and want to go far away. Although I made such a concession, the dream of traveling is my last insistence.
Facing the weakness of reality, it is slowly forgotten by time. The moment I got the admission notice, I began to look forward to the future again. Finally, I can fulfill my childhood dream, carry a travel bag, get on a green leather car, cross the countryside and see the outside world.
On the day I left, my mother followed me with big bags and small bags. I was so excited that I skipped the front, completely unaware of the people behind me. Their faces were full of sadness and worry. Grandma staggered, took a few steps and then rested, panting, obviously unable to keep up with my footsteps. She called my nickname. I turned around and saw her wiping tears, and her wrinkled face was covered with tears. I ran to wipe her tears to comfort her. I told her to go home for the New Year and let her take care of herself. She nodded and charged for a long time. Maybe she paid attention to safety on the road and called back.
There are many people at the railway station, and pedestrians come and go in an endless stream. My family and I are waiting in the waiting room together. Father kept silent all the time, and we had a lot of trouble, but no one spoke first, so our family was stubborn as hell, and no one wanted to bow their heads first. I thought it would be a long time before we could talk.
The radio rang and the bus arrived. I got up and left. My mother wiped her tears and took my hand. My father squeezed a word through his teeth. He hummed in a low voice, told me to pay attention to safety and take care of my things, and handed me an envelope. I thought he was embarrassed, so I took it and said a strange thank you. He smiled, handed me the suitcase and waved me away. I got the message and hummed to check in, completely ignoring them behind me, my parents.
My heart jumped with joy as the green leather car clattered to the north. I looked at the scenery that flashed outside the window and kept taking pictures. The fatigue of carrying luggage just now was swept away, but the joy won't last long.
As soon as I got out of Zhengzhou East Station, I began to be silly. I've never been out of the house before, and I can't find my way. For a road idiot, just arriving in a strange place is particularly painful. I feel that there are roads in all directions, and I don't know where to go. I was squatting on the side of the road, with a poor sense of direction and bags of luggage next to me. It should look awkward. I am very wronged, tears are spinning in my eyes, but I am embarrassed to cry.
I asked all the way to the bus stop. When you go out for the first time, you can't give up. If my family knew I was crying, I would be very embarrassed. I am very strong. Knowing for the first time that I can travel far, solve many problems, be independent and be proud of myself.
But reality always likes to play jokes on me. After reporting the case, I want to call my grandmother to report that she is safe and put my hand into my bag. It's empty and there's nothing. I was so scared that I rummaged through it, but I still couldn't find it. It was really hard at that time. It was a few days before I left, and my mother took me to buy a new mobile phone. I waited a long time to buy it. I usually hold it carefully for fear of accidentally bumping into it. I am precious, but it has disappeared, and I don't even know where it is.
I found the dormitory in a trance, shopping alone, cleaning up alone, and silently bearing all the bitterness. I thought it was a happy thing to travel far away, but the first trip gave me a blow by surprise. I thought I could do everything well and didn't even care, but I really overestimated myself. Going out, everything is too difficult, and I finally understand.
The conditions at home are not good, and I dare not ask for money to buy a mobile phone. Borrowed a classmate's mobile phone to use QQ, and made a lot of complaints in the space. My aunt felt sorry for me when she saw it, and gave it to me at 1000, asking me to add some money to buy a mobile phone to contact my family. I cried unwillingly and wanted to go home. I used to know that I had to wander the rivers and lakes and do chivalrous things. Now I understand that sometimes a warrior can't take care of himself.
After settling down, I started a stable life. Although my life is comfortable, I sometimes encounter some bad things. From the beginning, I secretly cried, and then I slowly learned to deal with it. I learned a lot. Growth requires polishing life and going through a persistent period of time. When we learn to be grateful, cherish and accept, we should grow up.
I began to keep in touch with my family frequently, and I will never be stingy to express my love for them again. My mother wondered why I became more clingy and listened more and more. I know the value of family, the warmth of home and their importance to me.
I am still very happy. Fortunately, when I volunteered, I chose to go outside the province, from the southernmost tip of the motherland to Zhengzhou in the north. I met many beauties, witnessed many differences and experienced many difficulties, which made me grow from an ignorant little girl to an independent woman.
It has been more than three years since I crossed the mountains and rivers in a green leather car, and I cried because I couldn't buy a ticket. I'm out of breath because I can't lift my suitcase while driving. Because I couldn't find a car to go back to school when I got off the plane, I wandered in the street until dawn. I am sad because I am sick, because the train curled up in the waiting room until midnight, because I choked up and cried thousands of miles away from home on holidays, because I was angry with my interpersonal relationship ... all these are my experiences. They made me a new self. They let me learn to put myself in the other's shoes, learn to be grateful, learn to reconcile with myself, and learn to accept the inadequacy of life and the cruelty of reality.
Thanks to 18-year-old self, I resolutely chose to travel. Since I decided to go out of the province when I volunteered, my life has quietly changed. In the past three years, thank you for your warmth and every setback I have experienced. Since the summer of 20 16, I am growing up slowly. We won't grow up in an instant, but we will realize that at some point, we begin to change and become better ourselves.