A brief discussion on the tempering of language in writing
Source: China Teachers Newspaper Author: Zhao Suying Added time: 2006-1-16 17:27:00
Throughout the ages , many language masters, all work hard on the refinement of words. Pi Rixiu once said: "A hundred refinements will make a character, and a thousand refinements will make a sentence."
When Ye Shengtao's novel "Collected Three or Five Dou More" was first published, there was a sentence: "Another gentleman heard it Bored, he threw the cigarette butt in his mouth into the middle of the street." Later, when "Ye Shengtao's Collected Works" was published, the author changed the word "throw" in this sentence to the word "throw". It makes sense to use the word "throw", but it is not good enough, because the things being thrown are usually larger and heavier, and the direction of "throwing" is relatively clear; the things being thrown are often smaller and lighter, and this behavior has more There is great arbitrariness, so it is more appropriate and appropriate to use the word "throw" for "cigarette butt".
Mr. Lu Xun rarely writes in one stroke. Even if it is a short poem, he has to chant it repeatedly and carefully consider it. For example, in his famous line "I can't bear to watch my friends become new ghosts, and I look for poems in the clump of knives". Although it is a change of two words, "bear to see" makes the reactionary's cruelty "horrible" more prominent; "bian" refers to a knife, and "knife cluster" refers to a blade. The exposure of the enemy's white terror is more powerful and can better express the heroic spirit of contempt for the enemy.
These examples illustrate the importance of polishing your words. Therefore, when writing, you must pay attention to refining characters, words, and sentences.
1. Accurate and appropriate. To use words accurately and appropriately, you must first have a correct understanding of objective things and pay attention to distinguishing the subtle differences in language colors. In the Soviet movie "Unforgettable 1919", someone reported that Stalin said: "The British warships retreated!" Stalin corrected: "No, they escaped!" The difference in words effectively showed Stalin's pride in victory. Feeling, exposed the embarrassing situation of the British army.
2. Concise and concise. The language should be concise and concise, which means that there should be no redundant words and sentences, and the richest content should be expressed as much as possible with the fewest words and sentences. This is what the ancients talked about as "noble bamboo slips", "literary and elegant, but half the story", which is what we today call "succinct and concise".
3. Vivid image. Vivid image means that the language used is not rigid or plain, but lively and novel, making a vivid and vivid impression on people. For example, in Lu Xun's "Hometown", "The eight-year-old nephew Hong'er flew out". The ordinary character "fly" expresses the joy of children. Furthermore, you can also use words cleverly. In addition, appropriate use of rhetorical techniques, such as metaphors, personification, exaggeration, etc., can turn generalities into concreteness and abstractions into images, adding vividness and imagery to the language.
In short, practicing language can improve our ability to use language, express our thoughts and feelings more accurately, and receive better expression effects.
(The author’s unit is Xushui No. 2 Middle School, Hebei Province)
Beijing No. 4 Middle School
Editing teacher: Xu Kexing Reviewing teacher: Li Jiasheng Editor: Xu Dongjie
p>Composition guidance--talk about writing language (Part 2)
How to effectively improve the level of writing language?
First, we must pay attention to basic language knowledge and gradually deepen our language skills. Accurately grasp the pronunciation, shape and meaning of Chinese characters and words, master a richer vocabulary as much as possible, and strive to eliminate bad sentences in writing. This is the "basic skill". To do this, it is very necessary to check the dictionary frequently. In September last year, a banner headline appeared in the Beijing Evening News: National Day coincides with the Double Ninth Festival, that sunny day in September. There is a common sense error here. This "Jiujiu" (the ninth day of September in autumn) is not the other "Jiujiu" (the "number nine" in winter and spring). The dictionary clearly says "Sunny day refers to the bright spring". Why don’t our editorial comrades check it out?
Second, we must care about life, love life, capture the "highlights" in life, and "record" life at any time. Be good at learning the language of people from all walks of life. The line in Lao She's "Teahouse" "Now I have peanuts, but I have no teeth" condenses the sadness of many elderly people, and how many people have rich associations? A junior high school student wrote in his homework: "Lightning is a symbol drawn by God on the sky. He was afraid that people would not understand, so he used the roar of thunder to warn the world." The imagination is strange and the words are astonishing.
Third, get rid of vulgarity and low-level taste, strengthen the cultivation of moral character, and improve the level of ideological understanding. Ten years ago, when Mr. Zhang Zhongxing, an old writer and famous scholar, heard that a colleague had lost a thousand yuan, he resolutely took out 500 yuan from his small salary and gave it to the colleague, and said: "Just treat it as a gift." You lose five hundred, and I lose five hundred. If one person's pain is borne by two people, can't it be alleviated by half?" - The warm and humorous words of comfort come from the noble character of the elder. I heard that Jiuzhaigou was going to "plan" and "create a high-end scenic spot" and increase the entrance fee several times. Our classmate Jingyi wrote worriedly: "I am really worried that this so-called 'high-end high-end strategic plan' will make a beautiful and shy The young girl stiffly dressed up as a lady whose look back and smile are worth a thousand dollars.
Can we become the masters of the world just because we have certain abilities that can dominate the world? "--The clear and wise words originated from the young man's worries about environmental protection.
Fourth, be good at learning language from masters, especially writers. There are masters among classmates and candidates, and their articles can be As a model for our study; the Chinese texts are all famous works by famous writers. Most of the reading articles in the college entrance examination questions and college entrance examination simulation questions are written by writers or scientists or experts in a certain field. These articles can also be used as a model for our study; extracurricular Reading ancient and modern literary masterpieces is an indispensable and important aspect for us to learn language.
I would like to emphasize the importance of imitation when writing big characters, imitating Yan, Liu, Ou, Su, and Zhao. To imitate Beihong, Bai Shi, Zhang Daqian, to imitate singers when singing, to imitate celebrities when acting... and to imitate writers when writing!
It goes without saying: imitation is not the end of learning, nor is imitation the destination of learning! ; But imitation is the beginning of learning, imitation is the shortcut to learning, and imitation is the accumulation of innovation!
A "master" wrote this:
Friendship is the key to innovation! A savings that has benefited a lot in life. This savings is a helping hand in times of trouble, a heartfelt advice on the wrong path, a sincere support when you fall, and a ray of spring breeze that wipes away tears when you are in pain. /p>
Our classmates "copied" this passage:
Trust is also a precious savings in life. This savings is the goodwill thrown at you when rumors come. Eyes are a firm companionship for you on the way forward, an all-out support when encountering difficulties, and a heart light that drives away pain when you are slandered.
Besides imitation, this is not the place. Is there any innovation?
The famous poem "Venice" by Zhu Ziqing was selected from the Chinese textbook for the third grade of high school. The "Nocturne on the Canal" is written like this:
The nocturnes in Venice are very special. Famous. Nocturne is a kind of lyrical music, which can be sung casually under people’s windows at night, but it can also be heard on the canal: when you see red and green paper ball lights in the river at night, you can sing nocturne. We hired a "gondola" to swing over and stop next to the boat. The boat was in the middle of the water, with "gondolas" lined up on both sides, swinging in the microwave, like two wings singing. There were men and women sitting around a table. When it was their turn, they stood up and sang. The lyrics were naturally in Italian. Italian language is said to be the purest and clearest. This is especially true for women--Italian singers are famous for their dense rhythms and passionate voices. They are probably the most popular "jazz", and their singing voices are trembling under the slightly swaying traffic light ball, and the canal is filled with hazy sounds. The night seemed to be rosy. After singing a few songs, someone on the boat came over and took the money. He didn't want to listen anymore, but he could move to the second place. The scenery of the Qinhuai River, but the Qinhuai River is much more lively.
I asked my classmates to imitate it, and classmate Guo Rui wrote this:
Beijing’s roast duck is very famous. . Among them, Quanjude is the best, and Biyi is a time-honored brand and the most authentic. Secondly, restaurants like Duck King also have a good reputation for their roast duck. However, except for the duck, other dishes in Duck King are small in quantity and high in price, so I didn’t go there. There are also some restaurants and restaurants that have roast duck on their menus, but most of them can only be considered second- or third-rate. From the selection of ingredients to the plating of roast duck, every step is very particular. Each duck should be a moderate size. After hanging the oven, the heat is the key to roasting the duck. It must be roasted over medium heat for a sufficient time and cannot be rushed. The last step is to bring the roasted duck to the guests and cut it into 118 pieces, all with duck skin. At this time, pick up a piece of roast duck with chopsticks. You can see the duck fat squeezed out from the skin and hanging outside without falling off. The aroma is fragrant and it is not greasy or greasy after putting it in your mouth. If you roll some duck meat in pancakes, add some shredded green onions, stick it with sweet bean sauce, and put it in your mouth, it will reduce the greasiness and make it more refreshing, and the taste will be unforgettable for you. Finally, there is a duck soup, which is made from the remaining duck skeleton, add a few large slices of garlic and ginger, and simmer over low heat until it becomes milky white. When serving, it is best to serve a piece of duck meat. After drinking this soup, the fat left in the mouth will be completely removed.
Perhaps, southerners with a clear mouth are not used to eating this way, but for Beijingers, this is indeed a rare and delicious meal. But don’t eat too much, especially for people with high blood pressure or high cholesterol.
Isn’t this great?
Taiwanese writer and poet Mr. Yu Guangzhong compared airplanes and trains in an essay, with vivid language and full of interest.
Although airplanes can be thought of as Zhuangzi's joyful journey and Liezi's journey to ride the wind, they appear and disappear among the clouds, and the procession is empty and green. There are not many changes, and the airplane window is too narrow, making it unsightly for a long time. It is nothing like the long journey of a train, the hypnotic rhythm, and the changing scenery. Looking out from the wide window, it feels like being in the world or driving out of the world. Therefore, when traveling abroad, I always stand on the platform - a veritable "long pavilion" - wherever the clanging double tracks can reach, waiting for the masculine and beautiful train to rumble into the station with its momentum. , come and take me to a distant place.
I ask my students to follow the format of this article, choose two related things, and write a paragraph, limited to 50-80 words.
Students’ works are full of masterpieces and have unique taste:
Ling Yun: Although chocolate can be imagined as a delicacy for Qu Yuan when he “climbed the Kunlun Mountains and ate the jade maidens”, it is too sweet and greasy. , high in heat and sugar, and will not be tolerated for a long time. It's not like crispy noodles, it tastes real and can fill your stomach. So at the canteen, I always choose crispy noodles to reward my internal organs.
Xing Jia: Although the phone can be regarded as Sun Dasheng's gentle ear and the voice of the Taoist priests traveling thousands of miles, during the festive season, relatives and friends call one after another to give blessings, which is really less cordial. Unlike greeting cards, the affection is endless, so every New Year, I send greeting cards to express my longing for you.
Liu Miaomiao: Although martial arts novels can change people's lives, popular texts and popular plots are like a plate of fried food. If you eat too much, you will get bored. It's not like the beautiful writings of famous writers, with meaningful meanings and every word is precious. Therefore, I love to take autumn thoughts with me in the cool afternoon, enjoy the beauty under the sun, and cleanse my soul.
Li Fangfang: Lychee once made the Tang Dynasty concubine smile, and it was a good product kept by the Song emperor in the palace. However, its color is like the eyes of fish, and it is too sweet to make people remember it. Bayberry, which is also a tropical fruit, has conquered my taste with its exquisite deep red color and sweet yet sour aftertaste. It is my long-lasting miss every summer and autumn.
Liu Yan: Although rain is the rain that nourishes all things, the sound of rain is annoying. If you are "targeted" by the rain, the fate of "drowned chicken" is inevitable. It's not like snow, it's just a skilled painter who "paints" the world into wonderful silver, and the snowmen and snowball fights in front of us also sound the joyous songs of childhood.
Chen Zhuo: The violin has a beautiful tone, melodious melody, and is intoxicating, but its performance is single and a bit "stingy", and it can only be "the queen of the instrument". The piano not only has a soft sound, but also a powerful sound, with a combination of hardness and softness, as well as cadence and ups and downs, reflected in the dancing black and white keys. It is worthy of being the "King of Musical Instruments".
Zhuang Ming: Although golf can be thought of as the halo around Woods and Irving's favorite, it is still for the rich, a lot of money, and has not changed much. It's not like the simple Go game, it's exquisite and full of fun. So in my leisure time, I always like to sit at the small table and let Go take me to the world of wise men.
Imulate the "leading running" method in long-distance running. If you have a master "driving" you in front, you will always run faster. The road to imitation is long. Don't be complacent because of your small gains, thinking that you are a writer, or even thinking that you are more than a writer.
Yan Zhenqing was just a calligraphy learner when he fell at the feet of Wang Xizhi and Zhang Xu and "imitated his best". It was only when Yan Lugong created "Fighting for Seats" and "Manuscript of Memorial to Nephew" that he became a unique, glorious calligrapher and a great calligrapher of later generations!
Writing training questions:
As the saying goes: Men don’t shed tears easily. Lu Xun also wrote in a poem: A ruthless man may not be a true hero, but pity for a son is not a husband. Please write an article of no less than 800 words on the topic of "The Man in My Heart". Make your own decision. Except for poetry, the genre is of your own choice. Prepare your own topic.
Attachment: Sample essay "Father's Tears" and comments.
Father's Tears
Fuyan, Class 8, Grade 3
My father is an authentic northerner. He has the tall and burly figure of a northern man. , clear outlines and that unique toughness. In my heart, my father is like a green pine. No matter it is scorching hot or rainy and snowy, he remains tall, straight, and unyielding. His broad shoulders and strong hands will always be my most reliable and strongest support.
My father is a real man! I once secretly wrote in my diary. According to my mother, my father rarely sheds tears. Back then, when my teenage father went to the countryside in distant Inner Mongolia alone, he was surrounded by long stretches of yellow sand with no one around him. No matter how hard and difficult the life was, he never shed tears. His father suffered an accident. There were more than a dozen major and minor injuries on his body. The pain was unbearable and I couldn't sleep at night. My father never said a word "pain" or screamed. He endured it silently and strongly. In my memory, my father only shed tears three times.
The first time was when I was a child. I got "appendicitis" and went to the hospital because of exercising after meals. It was the Spring Festival at that time, and the doctor was not there, so I couldn't operate in time. I was rolling on the bed in pain with tears streaming down my face. My father contacted doctors everywhere and finally sent me to the operating room. Accompanied by bursts of pain, I slowly woke up and saw my father’s bloodshot eyes and eyes. The slightly wrinkled skin on both sides of the nose, I knew that my father was crying. When I was young, I couldn't help but tremble in my heart. I never thought that my strong father would shed tears, and it was for me. My nose became sore and tears burst into my eyes. While my father gently wiped away my tears, I understood deeply: no matter how strong my father's heart is, I will always be the softest part of it and will always be his fatal wound.
The second time was 4 years ago, when my grandma was critically ill and my father stayed by the bedside all night. The next day, when the doctor covered my grandma’s face with a brand new white sheet, I saw my father’s tears for the first time in my life. The hot tears fell instantly, covering the face that already had some wrinkles and freckles. The deep love between mother and son , blood is thicker than water, and I feel the uncontrollable pain in my father's heart.
Another time, it was for my mother. It was a very accidental conversation. During the words, I revealed my dissatisfaction with my mother's harsh criticism. While my father comforted me, he also cited my mother's good qualities.
I don’t know which of my words touched my father’s heart. He said, your mother’s life will not be easy! The tears - I really saw them - were welling up in my eyes. He said softly again: "We must be good to her." I will never forget this sentence in my life. My father, who is not good at words, expressed his emotions in the plainest language. A mutual love.
My father never sheds tears easily. No hardships, hardships, strong winds or waves can destroy my father's strong will. Only family affection and love can make me feel my father's delicacy and tenderness. My father's three tears were for the three most important people in his life - his mother, wife and daughter.
Comments
It truly describes the "strength" and "softness" of my father. My father is a man! It is said that "it is better to know a son than a mother." Who knows, but also "to know a father better than a daughter".
The word "love" fills every line. The writing is driven by emotion, the writing is lyrical, and the emotion moves people.
Writing characteristics: well-chosen materials, accurate use of words, "strong" and "gentle" are written well, and the three tears are never the same.