Twenty years old, I should be happy and carefree, but I feel that my life is very bad. Learning is very general and there is no advantage; The family is ordinary and has no background. Looking back on myself six months ago, I shudder! More than a hundred days older, and I seem to get nothing.
Once the dream, has long been forgotten; Former good friends are all thriving now. I instantly felt the years on my face, slapped me hard and woke me up.
I thought of Wang Xiaobo's words in the Golden Age:
I was twenty-one years old that day. In the golden age of my life, I had many extravagant hopes. I want to love, I want to eat, and I want to instantly become a half-bright and half-dark cloud in the sky. Later, I learned that life is a slow process of being beaten by a hammer, getting old day by day, hoping to disappear day by day, and finally becoming like a beaten cow. But I didn't foresee this when I celebrated my 2 1 birthday. I think I will go on forever, and nothing can hammer me.
At the age of 2 1 year, I began to bear the consequences of squandering my youth and began to worry about the future. It seems that in this year, my explosive growth and explosive understanding. I no longer idle away my time and live in someone else's world. I want that meaningless stage to be a beautiful dividing line in my life.
Talking about reading:
Whenever I talk about my major, I feel a sense of pride and shame. So far, I have been obsessed with architecture for seven years.
Seven years, perhaps in our long life, is not too long; But in the first two decades of our lives, it accounted for nearly half. "Don't forget your innovative spirit", I have done it now; As for "thus achieving your ultimate goal", I gave the future answer.
In fact, I should have realized it when I was a freshman. Unfortunately, time has passed and there is no way to go back. When I was a freshman last semester, Sister Lulu once sent me a sentence: "Make things first, make character, but I didn't insist in my heart." Only things built by flattery and grandstanding will have no soul. " In retrospect, I can only sigh and hate my ignorance.
One night, I saw a passage in Weibo:
No matter which university you graduated from, I only take your diploma as a receipt, because it can only show that your family paid the price for your study, not whether you studied or not.
If I graduate now, I also have a diploma. I wonder if this diploma can prove my ability. I wonder if I deserve this diploma.
I was lost in thought and shed tears.
Skip classes with classmates, play games with classmates, and sit in the last row with classmates. At first, I still wanted to study hard. Later, I also went with the flow and joined their group.
At that time, it seemed that I was not around them, and I seemed very out of place. And silly oneself also gradually degenerated, and also regarded gregarious as college life. At that time, I was afraid of the strange eyes of my classmates, the cynical words of my classmates and being alone. Now that I think about it, I can only laugh at myself and despise myself.
I soothe my aching heart. For more than 300 days, I wasted not only my youth, but also the blood and sweat of my parents. Not only am I sorry for my dreams, but I also failed my parents' expectations!
It took me nearly twenty years to exhaust all my savings before I came to the ivory tower in my dream. Maybe today I am an unsociable person in your eyes, and tomorrow I will definitely make you sit up and take notice of me.
Not long ago, when my good friend Su Han told me, "Maybe in the eyes of others, I am an unsociable person. But they didn't expect that there were no them in my social circle. "
I asked him confidently, "am I from your circle?"
He didn't answer me directly, but said, "If you work hard now, we will still be good friends in the future."
At that moment, I understood what I should do in the next university.
Once upon a time, we always wanted to make friends with excellent people and find a suitable person to spend our lives with. But later, I found that excellent people are no longer in the same circle with us, and the right people are holding hands with others.
I was like a classmate when I was a freshman. I am busy with all kinds of socializing, attending all kinds of parties and meeting all kinds of people every day, thinking that I can make more friends and become a member of their group, thinking that they will lend a helping hand when I am in trouble. Now that I think about it, I was wrong for so long.
At that time, I always obeyed my "friends" and always relied on them. You have to find a partner for everything. It always seems that you are afraid of losing yourself.
I used to try my best to maintain the relationship of "friends", but now I am used to their hot and cold; Once I tried my best to cherish the relationship between "friends", but now I look down on their drifting away. Maybe now you won't look down on me. Ok, I won't let you climb in the future.
A friend of the opposite sex asked me the other day why I am looking for a girlfriend now. She also said that with my current talent, it is easy to talk about a love affair. I told her at that time that I stopped falling in love for two reasons:
1, I haven't even found myself yet. What girlfriend am I looking for?
I don't want to watch each other suffer with me!
After four years in college, if you can meet someone you love, make good use of it. Whether you can grow old or not, as long as you are willing, that's enough.
When I was a child, I thought I could study all my life; Now, I feel that going out is a river and lake.
On the evening of February 7, 20 17, Wu Yishu won the championship successfully in the second season finals of CCTV's Chinese Poetry Conference. I was deeply impressed by her calmness and talent.
She once said in her self-introduction: "I think there are many feelings in ancient poetry that modern people can't give me." The result of the competition doesn't matter, as long as I still like poetry, as long as I still enjoy the happiness brought by poetry, that's enough. "
Looking back on my freshman year, I really didn't know what my interests were at that time. One day in my sophomore year, one of my good brothers, Yu Shao, suggested that I write an article. At that time, I said I couldn't write well. Later, I found that I like writing articles.
In my spare time, I will read and write. Sometimes, my classmates call me a little genius and writer. And I know in my heart that I am not a writer, let alone a gifted scholar. I just happened to find a hobby of mine. I just recorded my past stories and future aspirations in words.
Maybe you will tell me that sometimes dreams can't feed us, and interest can't become life. We often do jobs we don't like, and we often do things we don't like.
At first, I like to post good articles in Weibo, and I like the feeling of being praised. Not long ago, I experienced something, and I understood something.
If we are determined to do something, we should do it quietly without publicly announcing our goals or showing off our achievements. The best state is to stick to your dreams and be with the people you love.
There will always be only one person in the first place, not because they are unsociable, but because others are left behind. Real gregarious is to be with a group of good people who can talk and play.