When chatting with friends this week, I remembered a story I heard this summer: "A kind-hearted man saw a butterfly struggling to get out of its cocoon and wanted to help, so he gently pulled the silk out of the cocoon." The butterfly came out and flapped its wings, but it couldn't fly. A kind person doesn't know that only through the struggle of life can his wings be hard enough to fly. This butterfly can only stay on the ground for a short time, never know the taste of freedom, and never really live. 」
I call this the learning of "letting go of love". After being tempered by the fire of pain and soaked in the water of patience, I learned it slowly. I gradually understand that I must let go of the person I love, because if I want to control her by catching or saving her, I will lose what I want.
If I think I know what the person I love should be and try to change her, I deprive that person of a precious right-the right to be responsible for his life, choice and lifestyle. As long as I impose my will or needs on others, or use my rights on others, I will destroy her full realization of her growth and maturity. No matter how kind my motives are, my possessiveness will limit and destroy her. My best behavior may also limit and hurt others, because protection and excessive worry say more eloquently than words: "you can't take care of yourself;" I must take care of you, because you are mine and I am responsible for you. 」
Through continuous study and practice, now I can say to the person I love: "I love you, cherish you and respect you." I believe that if I don't get in your way, you can or have the ability to fully develop into what you can become. Because I love you so much, I can let you walk side by side with me, walking in happiness and pain, I will share your tears, but I won't ask you not to cry; I will respond to your needs, care for you and comfort you, but I won't hold you back when you can walk by yourself; I am always ready to accompany you when you are sad and lonely, but I won't let you experience your own sadness and loneliness; I will try my best to understand your words and meaning, but I won't always agree with you. Sometimes I get angry. When I am angry, I will try my best to let you know that I am angry, so that we don't have to have a hard time with each other because of differences. I can't be with you anytime and anywhere to listen to you, because I don't have time to devote myself and care about myself. At this moment, I will try my best to be honest with you. 」
No matter in words or actions, I am waiting to say this to the people I love and care about. I call it letting go of love.
I can't promise not to touch cocoons again, but I'm getting better and better!
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Let the children do what they can.
I read a story a long time ago: a kind-hearted man saw a butterfly struggling to get out of its cocoon and wanted to help, so he gently pulled the silk off the cocoon. The butterfly came out and flapped its wings, but it couldn't fly. A kind person doesn't know that only through the struggle of life can his wings be hard enough to fly. This butterfly can only stay in place for a short time, never know the taste of flying freely, and never really lived. It ended its beautiful life.
I was on duty at the stairs after school last week. I saw a first-grade boy trotting in front, followed by his mother. His mother came to the stairs where I was standing, and when she saw her son running empty-handed, she suddenly remembered something and said, "Hey, where's your schoolbag?" I haven't taken my schoolbag yet. "But, the little boy continued to run, as if he didn't hear me. I looked at the little boy's direction, and then at his mother's hand. Sure enough, both of them forgot their schoolbags and went home from school. At this time, the mother had to turn back to the classroom to get her son's schoolbag.
Seeing this scene, I can't help thinking of the above story. I think this mother must have helped her son carry his schoolbag every time since kindergarten, so when he was in the first grade at school, his son had not formed the habit of taking his schoolbag home. From this, I can even imagine how much self-care a child who left his schoolbag in the classroom will have.
I think, isn't our child like a lovely butterfly about to hatch? They have to go through all the pains in their lives before they can feel happy and successful after overcoming them. If our parents have tried their best to help them, they will feel much less about life. Although there will be no serious consequences like butterflies, I think, after all, it will reduce the opportunities for children to exercise and improve themselves, and this person who deprives children of their rights is the one who loves children the most.
So, I think, let children do what they can, if you really love your children.