There are multiple translations of Ma Zhiyuan's "Tian Jing Sha·Qiu Si". Since the original author did not stick to grammar in the poem and only used nouns to construct images, leaving a lot of room for imagination for readers, different translators have different understandings and have produced different English translations. We respectively select three English translations by Schlepp, Weng Xianliang and Ding Zuxin for interpretation and discussion. The characteristics of "Tianjingsha·Autumn Thoughts" are 1. Simplicity and depth. 2. Quiet scenes and moving scenes complement each other. 3. The scenery and emotions blend together. Moreover, the vocabulary of the original work has rich cultural connotations. Therefore, the translator should also convey the meaning of the original work clearly, and convey the connotation, meaning and style to the target language readers so that they have similar feelings to the original readers.
Version 1:(By Schlepp)
Tune to “Sand and Sky”——Autumn Thoughts
Dry vine, old tree, crows at dusk.< /p>
Low bridge, stream running, cottages.
Ancient road, west wind, lean nag.
The sun westering
And one with broken heart at the sky's edge.
Only 9 noun phrases appear in the original song. In the translation translated by Schlepp, the 9 noun phrases of the original song are translated into 9 English noun phrases respectively. According to the original Chinese poem The grammatical features and the acceptability of modern English poetry, the noun-image juxtaposition method adopted in the translated poem makes the image of the original poem translated in a corresponding and equivalent form. The juxtaposition of isolated noun phrases or images with a modern consciousness is clearly more prominent than in traditional poetry. Image hosition was first proposed by the British and American Imagists in the early 20th century. Pound, the representative poet of the American Imagist movement, discovered when studying Chinese poetry that the juxtaposition and superimposition of one image with another image will produce subtle effects. Because it highlights the image and relies on the absence of words, it can attract readers' aesthetic attention and generate associations, completing aesthetic cognition. "Dry vine, old tree, crows at dusk. Low bridge, stream running, cottages." makes readers construct a picture in their minds that is similar to Chinese poetry. The translated poem does a good job of achieving the beauty of meaning and retaining the simplicity of the original poem. However, from the perspective of word choice, the word "low" in "low bridge" contains the meaning of small, but low is mainly relative to high, which does not seem to be semantically appropriate. The original song has a harmonious and beautiful tone, fresh and bold language, and is good at capturing images to cast the artistic conception of the poem, which enhances the style of the song. In terms of rhyme, "Low bridge, stream running, cottages" in "Low bridge, stream running, cottages" the vowel rhymes of bridge and cottages. In "ancient road, west wind, lean nag." road rhymes with wind. Reproduces the beauty of the original text.
Version 2:Autumn (By Weng Xianliang)
Crows hovering over rugged trees wreathed with rotten vines——the day is about done. Yonder is a tiny bridge over a sparkling stream, and on the far bank,a pretty little village.But the traveler has to go on down this ancient road,the west wind moaning,his bony horse groaning,trudging towards the sinking sun,farther and farther away from home.
The second translation, translated by Mr. Weng Xianliang, adopts the method of prose interpretation. The translation mainly conveys the artistic conception of the original poem, while abandoning the rhythm and form of the original poem to achieve a spiritual resemblance. Tiny: very small indeed, refers to very small, a little bit, so the meaning of this word is broader. Using it to "small" in the "small" bridge can arouse readers' unlimited associations. "Liu Shui" is translated as "a sparkling stream" and has the characteristics of beautiful form. Although the translated poem abandons the poetic form, it conveys the artistic conception of the original poem well. If poetry has no thoughts and feelings, it has no soul; if poetry has no carrier, it has no support and cannot express feelings. Therefore, poetry must have emotions and scenery, and the combination of scenes can form an artistic conception.
The artistic conception not only has the beauty of pictures, but also creates associations, arouses emotions, and creates an endlessly interesting artistic atmosphere. However, in the translated poem, "Crows hovering over rugged trees wreathed.with rotten vine.Yonder is a tiny bridge over a sparkling stream, and on the far bank, a pretty little village." The parallel relationship in the original poem is changed to The relationship between modification and being modified. And "But the traveler has to go on down this ancient road, the west wind moaning, his bony horse groaning, trudging towards the sinking sun, further and farther away from home." There is no relationship between the thin horse and the heartbroken man in the original text. It is clear, but the translation makes it clear. The sentences have been reorganized and the original meaning between the sentences of the original text has been eliminated. The addition of words such as "hovering", "wreathed", "go", "moaning", and "trudging" changes the first picture depicted in the original poem from static to dynamic. The original text is mainly composed of things, and the translation mainly consists of clauses to reflect the meaning. The meaning expressed in the translation is far from the original text. The word "Yonder" also does not fit the language style of the original text. Version 3:
Tune:Tian Jing Sha (By Ding Zuxin)
Withered vines hanging on old branches,
Returning crows croaking at dusk.
A few house hidden past a narrow bridge.
And below the bridge quiet creek running,
Down a worn path,in the west wind.
< p>A lean horse comes plodding.The sun dips down in the west,
And the lovesick traveler is still at the end of the world.
Ding Zuxin’s third translation is between the previous two translations. The form and charm of the poem are retained, but many words are added compared to the original poem. And "narrow" is mainly relative to "wide/broad", so the fixed semantics of these two words easily limit other associations. "Withered vines hanging on old branches,/Returning crows croaking at dusk." Change the parallel structure of the original poem into a modifying and modified structure. The intra-sentence parallelism and juxtaposition of "small bridges and flowing water, people's house" and "ancient road with west wind and thin horse" are also transformed into the relationship between modification and being modified. The new words "hanging", "Returning", "hidden" and "comes plodding" destroy the static beauty of the original poem. Chinese is a language rich in music, and it is the tradition of Chinese rhetoric to emphasize the beauty of sounds. In English-Chinese translation, the translation must have even syllables and sonorous and harmonious tones in order to reproduce the aesthetic value of the original text. When translating ancient poems, lyrics, and music, the beauty of sound is particularly important. Ma Zhiyuan wrote a short song, just 28 words long, with far-reaching meaning, exquisite structure, ups and downs, well-paced rhythms, and sonorous phonology that penetrates the soul. "Tian Jing Sha" is a melody, such as the Ci Pai in Song Ci, which stipulates the rhythm of this type of music. In this song, the rhyme is "a", and the five sentences have the same rhyme, making it catchy. In terms of rhyme, old and crows stress the vowel rhyme, end and world stress the consonant rhyme, and crows and croaking stress the alliteration, making the translation catchy and in line with the musical style of the original song.