A Hey, hey, hey——
B Hey, Shandong Liuqin.
A (continue singing) Talk about new things, sing about new things, new things come from the new society. Socialist hospitals are good, and they have helped us solve big problems. If we don’t have a nose, we can put a nose in it, if we don’t have a wife, find a wife, (that) find a wife, eh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah... …
B, wait a minute, what are you singing about, nose or wife?
A What I sing is a story that happened to me.
B What’s going on?
A I was born in a rural area.
B Oh, I grew up in the countryside.
A When he was born, he had some physical defects.
B What’s wrong?
A has no nose.
B No nose?
A. My father held me in his arms and kept wondering: (Shandong dialect) "Why is this child not pleasing to the eye? He is good everywhere: big eyes, double eyelids, small cherry mouth and thin lips... Oh, Found a problem——
What’s wrong with B?
A “This child has no nose on his face. "
Hey B, why are you venting your anger?
A is sorry for me! I was left with two holes in the middle of my face. When I vented my anger, "Hey——" Then he went out.
Hey, that’s so ugly!
A was ignorant when he was a child, and he didn’t know what it meant to be ugly. Are you kidding?
B, how are you kidding?
A: “Hey, look what’s that on your face, why is there a bulge in the middle? Look at my face, I have nothing. Haha..."
How can you still be funny if B is like this?!
When A grows up, I will know how ugly it is.
B himself understands.
A My father was afraid of hurting my self-esteem. When I was sensible, he would not let me look in the mirror. He pointed at the mirror and said to me: (Shandong dialect) "Child, do you know what this is?" ? "
B What is this?
A "This is the demon mirror. ”
B Demon mirror?
A “Don’t look at this thing. If you look at it too much, you will get angry.” ”
Hey, B, why are you so angry?!
A, I’m also wondering: Why don’t they get angry when they take adult photos?! I said to my dad: “Hey, dad, are you clean?” Just kidding, so what... let me get angry. "I took a look in the mirror and realized that I looked ugly, so I shed tears sadly.
B. He felt uncomfortable.
A. My father said to me: (Shandong dialect) “Why are you crying, are you afraid of not having a nose or something? As long as you don't delay eating, drinking, and productive labor, you'll have some potential. "
B What do you say?
A I said: "Dad, I have a future, but I have no nose. "
B What are you afraid of?
A "I'm afraid that I won't be able to marry a wife in the future. ”
Hey B! Where did you get the whole story?
After A’s university, I no longer want to be with everyone. Especially when I flatter a girl, I hide. People are far away.
Re: The story of the nose - Crosstalk - Liaoyi Forum welcomes you
B Why?
A I am afraid of being scared. People.
Hey, you are too worried.
When A is able to work, the team assigned me to be a breeder.
B. Yes, there are fewer people in the barn.
I don’t dare to fight with the animals.
What’s wrong with me? I'm afraid of scaring the animals.
Hey, you don't think so.
A probably got used to it, and I saw it as soon as I entered the barn. The little donkey raised its neck at me: "Oh - ah! Oh-ah! "He was still laughing at me.
Hey B, is that fun?!
Later on A, I understood, I thought: Although our faces are a little disabled, our bodies are There's nothing wrong with me, we have to do our job well.
That's right.
After A, I didn't put all my energy into feeding day and night. Within a year, I was able to feed the animals in the team very well. The team selected me as a model breeder, and the commune gave me one award after another.
< p>B, look how good this is.What’s so good about A? I thought: What’s the point of giving out a certificate?
Hi, B. Anyone got a hairy nose?
I was shy on the day A received the certificate.
What happened to B?
Just give it to the leader. , He even shook hands with me.
Everyone had to shake hands when B received the certificate.
A, I held my nose while shaking hands - (action)
B, why do you turn around and shake hands?
I can’t shake hands without turning around.
B Hi!
Leader A accidentally asked me: "Hey, why does this little comrade have no nose?"
B What do you say?
A I said: "Then...what, I left my nose at home."
B He felt uncomfortable.
When leader A saw this situation, he quickly called our team cadres together and held a meeting. Later I was informed: "The commune will pay for you to go to the county hospital to have your nose repaired."
B This is great.
A, but I am afraid of looking ugly, so I am not willing to go. My father advised me: (Shandong dialect) "Son, you go, this is the new society. The party and the people care about us and give us You solve the nose problem. If you don’t care about the old society, who cares if you don’t have a brain?”
Is there anyone who has no brain? !
A "Come on, don't be afraid of looking ugly. Look: Dad has prepared it for you." He took out a big mask for me from his pocket.
B Hey, this is enough to block it.
What will A do? ! How beautiful people look when they wear masks: when they put on a mask, there is a nose propped up in the middle; my face is flat and flat, and when the mask is put on, it feels flat on my face, just like a piece of white plaster.
B There is no way.
A My dad later came up with an idea; he put half of the walnut skin under the mask for me.
B Aren’t you panicking?
A I couldn’t hold it back and panicked, and two holes were drilled into the walnut skin.
B Hey, how can this be the case?
A. Me, I have been pushing it for a long time with my father. When I thought about actually having my nose installed, my dear, it was just in time for the Cultural Revolution.
B Look, can you still see it?
A The day I went to the county hospital, you saw that the doctor was very irresponsible to us.
B Hey, at that time, he also looked down on farmers.
The doctor A pointed at my face and asked me: "What are you doing here?" I said: "Doctor, I see your nose is coming." "What, you see your nose is coming, you have a nose You just want to look at it?” I said, “Yes, I’m just looking at it because I don’t have a nose. Look how ugly it is.” “Oh, you want to look good, right? If you want to look good, you can put a patch on it to relieve pain. Anointing."
Is this a remark? !
A I said: "Doctor, don't be joking. Look, can you give me plastic surgery?" "What, plastic surgery?! What are you thinking about? Now that plastic surgery has been cancelled, you You know, that’s bourgeois thinking! Let me tell you, there are no benefits to having a nose.”
What’s the benefit of this?
A "Without a nose and a short distance in the middle, this... political sense is more sensitive."
B Never heard of it.
A "Why do you have such an attitude?!" I was so angry that I went to find their leader.
B Leader couldn’t do anything at that time.
A Don’t tell me, I met a few kind-hearted doctors who are really good. We worked together to install a "rubber nose" for me.
B Elephant trunk?
A is small.
B The small one is more than one meter long.
A Rubber nose. I found a big piece of rubber, trimmed it with a knife, and cut it into the shape of a nose. I found two elastic bands, pulled the two ends, and put them on my ears. I just put the nose in the middle.
B Hey, that’s fine.
A went out for a ride and the car bumped, and it broke down——
B What’s the matter?
A, if you think about it, the elastic band is very tight. You can see that the nose is on the face, sometimes on the left, sometimes on the right, sometimes on the top, sometimes on the bottom...
B Okay , this face is full of nose.
A made several children in the car look at me and wonder: "Mom, Mom, look at how this uncle's nose grows on his chin."
B Hi!
When A came home, my father got angry when he saw it: (Shandong dialect) "What is this?! This is a trick on us farmers. Don't wear his one, you have to wear your father's one." ."
Huh?
A: "Dad, I'll put a paper nose on it for you."
B: A paper nose? !
A Get some glue and let's glue it on.
B Is it stuck?
A is stuck. Glue a paper nose on it, and when I breathe out: huff, huff, huff, it keeps making a sound, but I don’t dare to be happy.
B Is that so?
A When I was happy, it fell down with a pop.
B It’s just a waste of time.
A has been dealing with this for several years. After crushing the "Gang of Four", I was feeding the livestock one day when I suddenly received a letter.
Where did B come from?
A. From the county hospital.
B What is the content?
The letter said that the whole country was carrying out the four modernizations, and they had to speed up the pace. In order to target the rural areas and the grassroots, they had cleaned up the medical records of the past few years and decided to give patients who were pushed out during the Cultural Revolution to Please come back.
The letter said that he would ask me to go back and have my nose installed.
B Hey, this is a good thing.
A Of course, I was so happy that I patted the animals on their foreheads and talked to them.
B What did you say to the animal?
A "Little donkey, take a look quickly. If you don't look, in two days, you won't be able to see me without a nose!"
B Hey!
A The next day, I came to the county hospital happily. When I entered the county hospital, I saw a lot of people at the door of the plastic surgery room. In the past, I thought it was rare for people like me to have no nose. But then I saw that there were quite a few people in the team.
B Hi! There is something wrong with plastic surgery.
A Yes. You see, there is a girl in the queue behind me. Her eyes, nose, and mouth are almost together.
B Why is this happening?
A That was burned with fire. The girl and her production team were on fire. When the girl saw it, she rushed in desperately and held up the roof of the house with her shoulders. The roof was made of wood. Not to mention how heavy it was, there was a fire on it, which burned the girl's face.
B This girl is a hero.
A That’s right.
B How do you know?
A I am waiting in line. The girl asked me: "Hey, comrade, I seem to have seen you somewhere." I thought: I just went out of the village after receiving a certificate in the commune a few years ago.
B Were you at that model worker meeting?
I also asked her: "Were you at the meeting where the certificates were distributed?" The girl said: "Hey, yes, yes, you went up to receive the certificate."
Oh, I recognized it.
A "Oh, do you recognize him?! Hey Hei, don't look at my age, I have my own characteristics and I'm easier to recognize."
B Hey, he's quite down-to-earth.
A I saw the injury on the girl’s face. I have to ask what’s going on? The girl kept saying this to me, oh, I was so touched.
How amazing is this girl? In terms of age, she is not much different from me; in terms of head, she is not that tall. But you said, oh, that room is so heavy, why did she... oh, I don’t know what happened, but at that time, I felt a strong affection for the girl in my heart.
B Haha, you fell in love with her.
A What did you say?
B You are in love with her.
A You are so old, but you don’t have any restraint in your speech. Why do you fall in love with someone when they first meet? !
B Didn’t you say that you have a feeling for her... from the bottom of your heart?
A That’s not love either.
B What is that?
A That means...do I have a nose that I love? !
B Didn’t you look at your nose?
A You can’t... you can’t say it directly. I said: "Oh, girl, you are amazing. Come to me and see me. Stop pushing. You are much more injured than me. You...you see, I am fine. This...hey, are you married?" ?”
Hey, why are you asking this?
A I think that if she gets married, I won’t worry about it anymore.
B You still fall in love with me. What did the girl say?
A "Look what you said, I'm still married. I'm just twenty-three years old and I don't even have a partner." When I heard that she didn't, I thought, I don't have one either. I quickly moved the girl to the front.
B Hey, make him happy.
Girl A turned around and told me: "Look at how ugly we are, who can fall in love with us?" I didn't want to hear this, so I said, "What does it mean to be ugly? What does it mean to be ugly?" Beautiful? You can tell from your appearance, right? I fell in love with you as soon as I met you..."
Um?
A Hey, I almost said it.
B, please be careful.
A It was our turn to see a doctor, and the doctor left us both in the hospital.
B is hospitalized.
A The next morning, the nurse pushed me on a trolley to a big house, gave me an injection and disinfected me. This doctor is really brave. He came over with a knife and scissors in my face (singing) "Come in, come in, come in!"
B That’s surgery.
A Yes, I fell asleep in a daze. When I woke up, my face was wrapped with thick gauze.
B The operation is over.
A I just waited and waited for a week. The nurse untied the gauze for me and took a look in the mirror: Oh, old comrade, I have a nose! It's right between the eyes and mouth.