-"A New Biography of Dong Shi"
I went down in history with an ugly name. But for thousands of years, I have been depressed and unhappy!
It is said that from that day on, I was laughed at by the people at that time after learning from the sad face of the beautiful girl next door, Shi, who was ill with a heart, and created an idiom for me, so I stayed at home all day. (However, although I don't think about tea and rice, I haven't lost weight. I don't understand that when Shi is sick like that, smelly men are my heroic feelings of pity, sympathy and masculinity. As for me, I just studied and imitated it. Why does it cause so much dissatisfaction and irony? I know, because I have a Zhang Chou face, so depressed! I can't help blaming my parents' carelessness and God's injustice. God must have been distracted when he created me, otherwise my five senses would be so rough and dislocated!
I must settle accounts with God! Strong thoughts occupied my mind, and I decided to go to God at all costs to find out what I had lost!
After waiting for thousands of years, I finally got on the Shenzhou-10 manned spaceship and flew to God's "Happy Palace". God's home is not ordinary beauty, it is difficult to describe it in words! Although I was jealous, I didn't want to stay long, so I went directly to the Blissful Hall. Hey, who is that old man sitting in the garden with his eyes closed? , is god! So, I got dressed, stepped forward, coughed and said, "Lord, you are at ease!" " Why not go to the folk to observe the sufferings? I, Dong Shi, grew up like this because of your negligence, and suffered people's eyes and ridicule. You must make a decision for me! "When I said this, I couldn't help feeling sad, and my skirt was wet with tears. God opened his eyes, smiled at me and listened to me. After I got my chest out, he said slowly, "My poor child, you have been living in everyone's eyes for so many years. You lost yourself and woven a cage of self-restraint. You have never found your own strengths and highlights in yourself! "Then, God said slowly," Everything is born in the world and has its own value. You see, in this garden, grass is not as beautiful as flowers, but without grass, the beauty of flowers is not outstanding. What about you, don't imitate others, don't envy others, hurry out of this small world of self, find your own strengths and advantages, help others and serve the world, and you will reap the love and respect that people deserve! " Say that finish, god waved his sleeves and closed his eyes.
After listening to God's words, I froze there. ...
After I came back from God, I reflected on myself and examined myself. I have a strong body and enough strength, so I have finished my work in my field and can help my neighbor Li Nainai's family. My voice is very tactful. When I sing, I not only make myself happy, but also give the working people a happy enjoyment. Ah, I also stepped onto the stage of the Avenue of Stars. I, with bright eyes, have made embroidery and embroidery that can attract butterflies to fly, and I have been shortlisted for international awards. ...
Haha, I always smile. I walked out of my little world and accepted various media interviews. I am no longer synonymous with ugliness. I am the embodiment of personality and the representative of women in the new era.
On this day, I received a greeting card from heaven: "You are my baby-a gift from an angel, congratulations!" " "
Comments by famous teachers:
After reading this masterpiece in the examination room, people can't help laughing, but also hide their own ideas, which is worth tasting.
This composition adopts a new story writing method to express the theme, which is a bold innovation and a success for young authors. Based on the well-known story of "Dong Shi's effect", this paper weaves the story of Dong Shi's distress and anger because of his ugly appearance, which makes him want to ask God questions, and then be inspired by God to reflect on himself, get out of the small world of self-restraint, realize the value of life, and vividly expound the theme connotation to be expressed. The little author travels through time and space, imagining strangely, and the story application is not limited to the old model (the image of God is not sacred but full of human feelings); The little author is good at spreading stories, trying to render Dong Shi's distress and grievances, and preparing for the following plot changes. Articles such as "Original", "Beautiful Girl" and "Shenzhou 10" are humorous and vivid, with the characteristics of the times.
The color in my eyes
A candidate in Shanghai
Although there are various colors in my eyes, they are all gorgeous. They make up my colorful life.
I like green. When I see green, I will think of my paradise. My paradise is the vegetable field in my backyard. The field is covered with green spinach and rape ... There are mulberry trees and locust trees with dense shade on the ground. Every holiday, I chase and fight with my neighbor's children. Whenever troubles come, I go for a walk in the vegetable field and have a heart-to-heart talk with those vegetables. At this time, the green everywhere is like handfuls of huge green umbrellas, covering the hot summer sun and blocking the cold winter wind ... If you ask me what happiness is, the mood at this time is the best answer.
I like red. When I see red, I think of my red house. Once upon a time, the floor was rattled by me; Once upon a time, I sat on the threshold and recited 300 Tang poems, and frogs and crickets joined in. Once upon a time, there was a cheerful song in the house ... Looking at the sacred red in my mind, I understood what happiness was. ...
I like white. As soon as I see white, I think of delicious white soybean milk. Early in the morning, grandma invited me to drink soy milk made by her own hands. My neighbor and I sat in a row, enjoying the faint smell of soybean milk. Through the rising and spreading heat, I saw grandma's eyes narrowed into a crack and her weather-beaten face, drinking soybean milk that was sweet to my heart. I seem to understand what happiness is. ...
Now I have a soft spot for white. When I was in the ninth grade, I abandoned everything and began to pursue my ideals without distractions. So it became pure and concise, and white has remained in my heart ever since.
Each of us is surrounded by different colors, which are intertwined to form a seemingly simple but colorful world. Through the colors in my eyes, I see that life is so colorful and beautiful!
Comments by famous teachers
One of the most important features of this article is its sincere feelings and profound infection. In the article, the author uses various colors to form memories of life and describes the past life for us. The author is not only narrating, but integrating his feelings into it. For example, "If you ask me what happiness is, the mood at this time is the best answer" shows the author's infinite nostalgia for childhood. For another example, "I saw grandma's eyes narrowed into a crack and her weather-beaten face, and I seemed to understand what happiness was, drinking soybean milk that was always sweet to my heart", which showed the author's gratitude to her and feelings about happiness.
Secondly, this paper adopts the way of echoing from beginning to end, which makes the structure of the article round and complete.
Marking score: content 30 points+expression 20 points+development 10 points+writing 2 points =62 points.
My sky is normal.
Yangzhou examinee
The river flows quietly, quietly …
The Chinese rose in front of the door is blooming desperately, as if to burst the bud.
There are flowers and grass in the yard, round and strong, and the yard is clean.
This is my home, ordinary and quiet.
My family is like this, so are my parents, ordinary and honest.
Mom and dad are my guides on the journey of life.
When I have nothing to do, I always like to put a small stool in the yard, sit on it, take a book, enjoy flowers in the yard, wander in the book, and blend in with the author's thoughts. My father cooks in the kitchen and my mother washes clothes in front of the door. All this is so harmonious and beautiful. When eating, my parents always like to ask me about my school and encourage me to study hard. Everything is so ordinary and calm.
When other students are upset that their parents forbid watching TV, I'm not worried at all, because my parents understand and care about me, and they never stop me from watching TV, because they know that I won't get tired when I play.
On the contrary, they will encourage me to watch TV. Both mom and dad like the host Wang. The program hosted by Wang is colorful, lively and interesting, and the questions raised in the program are very helpful to my study. So every program, my parents accompany me to watch, let me write down some topics that are beneficial to my study; Sometimes when I am not at home, my parents will help me write down the questions, and they will test me when I go home. This has enriched my knowledge of history and geography. Everything is so meaningful.
The senior high school entrance examination is coming, and many parents come to the school to ask the class teacher about their children's study, because I know my parents, they won't come, and they are busy with work.
But one day I changed my mind. Inadvertently, I saw the head teacher and two familiar figures talking in the distance. I recognize them as my parents. ...
Everything is so selfless.
My parents are my guides on the journey of life. They created a blue sky for me and let me fly freely.
[brief comment]
Life is not a lack of beauty, but a lack of discovery of beauty. As long as we observe carefully, we can easily find that everything in nature often gives us inspiration in life, and the light of human nature will shine everywhere in society and family. The author's family is ordinary: it is ordinary and quiet; Mom and dad, ordinary and honest; Life is ordinary and quiet. However, the ordinary contains the extraordinary: the courtyard surrounded by flowers and plants, harmonious and beautiful family division of labor, which is an ordinary, quiet and peaceful environment, but also a poetic environment; The clever use of TV programs and visiting teachers at critical moments are common things in an ordinary family, but they also reflect the caring consciousness of modern people. All this is so ordinary, peaceful and calm. It is a word "Ping", which endows "I" with selfless love and "creates a blue sky for me and lets me fly freely". It is natural and appropriate to write "My Sky" at the end of the article.
The color in my eyes
A candidate in Shanghai
The ancients were very keen on talking on paper. "Plum blossoms send mail, fish eyes convey love" is the elegant display of elegant people. Although the plum blossom may have withered, and it is just an old saying in terms of size, the affection of this money has not decreased, and the meaning of joy is perfect. Since the world's first letter delivered by a green postman was delivered to the other party, green has become the most peaceful and warm color in the world. With the pious return of the postman, our caring heart is on the road. ...
I remember a writer said that "homesickness" is not necessarily "homesickness", not "hometown", but also "missing"; Without "thinking", you can also "worry".
The world is so big, which land can't make you admire? What music can't you indulge in? Who can't you remember? And if you miss it, you have to rely on a ruler.
Today's world is an era ironed by complicated information and complicated affairs, and human feelings are becoming less and less. People rely more on inner support than external support.
However, there are still a group of people who firmly believe and appreciate that life is constantly exhausting them. Yes, life gives everyone a window. Although the dream is tired, we are still deeply eager to be locked in this lonely, distant and indifferent world. People you know can hold hands in your heart and comfort us.
Thus, in this ancient and simple way, there is a green space, which contains fragile thoughts and soothes soft emotions. As a result, some friends who still have the old-school style are still willing to talk on paper in the traditional way and are still fascinated by its "clothes, fragrance and mane".
When it snowed, a student chewed up his family with unpalatable bread. When the flood came, a flood fighter leaned his head on the Three Gorges and listened to the sound of not returning to the river all night. Autumn has come, two lambs meet on the road, touch their noses and lips on the way to transport the sun, and on the friendly grassland ... These tacit understandings can take root and rest, mostly based on the dancing of pieces of paper, from this green mailbox to that green mailbox, from this soul to that soul. Yes, in the commercial society, there are few things like writing letters, which make people "seek leisure in a busy life" and "take quiet in troubles".
The persistence of green leaves makes autumn fall in the most beautiful posture; The persistence of the breeze sends the song to the address of missing; The persistence of postal service is to spell out people's smiling faces with stars and take love as the beginning of every life. So, even if all the beautiful things turn into yellow stationery, we should thank this green angel.
Say wall
Hebei examinee
Since ancient times, I have stood here, and from the day I was born, I have guided my duty-to defend my country.
I am a wall, built by Qin Shihuang. Yes, I am a wall of the Great Wall in Wan Li. I built it with blood and sweat, so I have a soul.
I am a wall separating the two worlds. One day, a woman came to my feet and cried to me, giving birth to two boundless children. It turns out that my birth was based on other people's lives! So I'm guilty! In that case, why should I live in this world? I collapsed ...
I don't know how long it took, but I was awakened again and I got a second life. I am like a phoenix, reborn from the fire. I know my duty is to protect my country and defend my country thousands of times. ...
Xiongnu attack, I can finally perform my duties. I blocked them with my strong chest. They were angry and shot at me crazily. It hurts! It hurts! But I will never compromise with them. I will do my duty.
Looking at the depressed back of Xiongnu, and looking at myself being black and blue, I smiled. I can finally atone for my sins and finally have a clear conscience!
I have witnessed the ups and downs of dynasties, the joys and sorrows of emperors and princes, similar flowers and different people every year, and I have some insights: everything has its own responsibilities when it comes to this world, but not all of them are vigorous events. Knowledge, like me, is an ordinary wall to defend the country, but I am not.
Don't expect immortality, don't expect the world to worship, just seek national stability and live up to your duties!
I am a wall, an ordinary wall, and I have some ideas about the future. ...
Say wall
Life is a long road, and it won't be smooth sailing. Modern society has also erected many walls that hinder our growth. These walls are fame, selfishness and fantasy.
Tear down the wall of fame and fortune. Clouds haunt the idle pool, and the years slip through your fingers, and the years grow old unconsciously. There were several easterly winds and several flying flowers; Once upon a time, cherries were red and bananas were green. Perhaps many people will secretly regret that life is short and changeable. And I choose to face life calmly with a smile, face death broadly and calmly, and listen to the sound of flowers, which shows brilliant brilliance; Listening to the whispering of fallen flowers contains tranquility and beauty. I'd rather be a chrysanthemum picked by Tao Qian, watch the ebb and flow of the tide, and sit and watch the clouds roll and relax.
Knocking down the wall of fame and fortune, my heart is indifferent.
Tear down the selfish wall. You know, a solitary flower is not spring, spring should be a colorful world; To know that Yifan is not a hero, Qian Fan's game can better show the grandeur of the sea; You know, towering trees are not scenery, but rows of trees are the solid Great Wall that blocks the wind and sand. Zhang Liangshan Club, Han Xinshan Club. With the cooperation of the two, the success of "strategizing and winning thousands of miles away" can save Zhao from being in hot water. Selfishness and ignorance; Creating a win-win situation is a wise move.
Tear down the selfish wall, and win-win will make you and me brilliant.
Through the wall of fantasy. Many people stumble just for a dream. And dreams and reality are not close at hand. Excessive seriousness and persistence, gray temples and haggard face, have added a little melancholy and melancholy? And I chose to give up and find a more suitable goal. Since there is no "prosperous land of flowers and willows, gentle and rich land", why not find a pure land where there is moonlight in the pine forest and crystal stone in the stream? Since you can't appreciate the beautiful scenery of "the bright moon is born in the tide", why not cook a pot of chrysanthemum wine and invite the bright moon to drink together? Seeing another color from one color is also the rhyme and philosophy of life.
Go through the wall of fantasy and live your true self.
Let's tear down the wall of fame and fortune, tear down the wall of selfishness and cross the wall of fantasy. Take indifference as the sail, win-win as the guide, reality as the paddle, and sail to the other side of success!
Comments by famous teachers
This article is not only excellent, but also rare. Its rare features are as follows:
1. Very few smooth styles. There is a "phoenix head" in charge of the whole article, a "pork belly" to enrich and enrich, and a "leopard tail" to echo wonderfully. Phoenix Head is beautiful, novel, clear and refreshing, which shows the uniqueness of writing perspective. "Pork belly" contains gold in layers, and naturally sees the openness of thinking in thorough reasoning; "Leopard tail" is powerful, with kickbacks, short and exquisite, which shows the rigorous structure.
2. It is rare to have a wonderful pen and flowers. The wonderful sentences in the poem are handy and cleverly interspersed. Insert quotations, such as "moonlight in the pine forest, crystal stone in the stream"; There are versatile episodes, such as "you know, a solitary flower is not spring, and spring should be a colorful world"; With allusions, such as "Zhang Liangshan will, Han Xinshan will. When two people cooperate, there must be' strategizing and winning thousands of miles'. "
Say wall
Hebei examinee
Trapped between invisible walls, some people choose to wait for the rabbit, and some people are unwilling to break the wall, so there is his sadness, his leisure and his free and easy.
-South Tang.
What is a wall? The wall is the sadness that trapped the Empress Dowager of Southern Tang Dynasty, the darkness that entangled Tao Yuanming's heart, and the shackles that imprisoned Li Bai's thought. ...
Comments by famous teachers
This article is an excellent work, which stands out from tens of thousands of candidates' compositions and does have its bright spots:
1. Clever tailoring and precise conception. Without talking about walls, the author goes straight to the point at the beginning, defining a certain emotion of people as a "wall", the darkness of secular officialdom as a "wall" and the fetters of thoughts as a "wall". This kind of cut-in and conception can be described as extremely exquisite.
2. The theme is new and the accumulation is deep. It is not uncommon to enter the topic with cultural celebrities. The topic of "Talking about the Wall", including Li Yu, Tao Yuanming and Li Bai, is indeed both intentional and innovative. Without profound cultural accumulation, it can only be self-defeating
3. The structure is clear and orderly. Candidates can always get the full text from the questions; The middle part interprets the meaning of "wall" in three levels; Make a summary at the end, deduct the topic and respond to the full text.
Say "wall"
A wall and a world.
one
When the giant in Oscar Wilde's fairy tale knocked down the high wall, he freed himself from the cold winter and welcomed the arrival of spring. How beautiful it is! The collapsed bricks were scattered on the ground, which became the road to spring and happiness, and the snow turned into milk that moistened flowers and plants. How beautiful it is! Fairy tales give wings to dreams and reality. Can a wall really divide the world into two for the world? On the one hand, it is winter, on the one hand, it is warm spring, on the one hand, it is cold and pressing, on the other hand, it is warm embrace. The fall of the wall gave the children a chance and the giant a spring date. How amazing it is to wave away the heart wall shrouded in clouds and share happiness with everyone!
two
I don't know when the built wall will make the distance between us far away, so the boundless sky has become a reduced silhouette of the corner of the blue sky under the high wall, and the affectionate gesture of Song Qing under the Nanshan Mountain buried in front of the high wall has become an eternal memory. In the past, the joy of talking after drinking was replaced by the silence under the high wall, which was isolated from the world. The beauty is scattered under the high wall, and the truth is buried under the high wall. Old gathering in mobile phone text messages drifted away, and no friends were waved. Giants have a garden but lost happiness, Zhu Yuanzhang has a political power but lost friends, lies breed under high walls, arrogance sprouts under high walls, and the high walls hanging over the soul make people walk in the sky. Loneliness and selfishness erode their hearts, breaking through and releasing their hearts longing for happiness and freedom.
Three,
At first, there was a wall without windows, and this home was built. The nest on the wall has become the home of swallows, so there is a deep hug under the wind and rain, and there is warmth that snuggles up to each other in the dark. Then the rain said that Sang Ma was intimate, her heart was wandering, and she found traces under the wall. It was a warm bonfire after the storm, burning every cold heart. It was the wall that gave the family a support, and the blind date left. Leaving only blank walls and deja vu wandering in the empty room, in fact, everyone is a wall of home, and there is no warmth without anyone. It is this invisible wall that has built this home, this harbor of heart and this warm world.
Four,
The sunset flag and evening breeze reflect the sunset glow, like a nation dripping blood. Li Hongzhang looked back at the sea for the last time, and the policy of closing the country to the outside world isolated Tianfu. The core wall covers up the vitality of self-improvement and arrogance, boasting that beiyang fleet is vulnerable and crumbling under the enemy's strong guns, and those who are vulnerable run away. Historians carefully sketched the faces of these people, and they were surprised and flustered. When the garden that used to sway palace lanterns was silent,
Those who burn fake phoenixes die, and those who taste courage are happy. It was Qu Qiubai's gunfire that broke the decay, Lu Xun's cry broke the silence of the iron house, and Deng Xiaoping's reform and opening up completely broke the wall. This is a moment of historical concern and a place of vigilance.
A wall and a world, a wall, is a philosophy.
The famous teacher commented that the reasoning of this article is relaxed and profound, and it is very easy to lift weights, and it is extraordinary:
1 Wonderful content. The first section quotes Wilde's fairy tale, the giant overthrew the solid wall and liberated the mind. The second section lists some examples in real life in the form of parallelism, discusses that walls make the distance between each other farther and the vision smaller, and appeals to people to release their hearts. The third section quotes Lu You's Marriage and Hairpin Phoenix to illustrate the significance of missing as a wall. The fourth section quotes history of qing dynasty, which makes people see a wall of self-deception.
2 Good language. The language of this article mostly adopts loose sentences, and at the same time, it has both parallelism and elaboration in many places, which has both the flavor of prose and the thoroughness of reasoning and writing. Thinking and writing are like rivers, naturally there is no fatigue.
3 brilliant structure. The opening sentence is divided into paragraphs, which has the potential to create the world. The text has four parts with digital subtitles in the middle. At the end, use a parallel prose to interpret the topic, echoing the opening.
Appreciation of Full Score Composition of Chongqing Senior High School Entrance Examination in 2009
Choose one of the following two questions.
Requirements: ① The content is specific and has true feelings; (2) Except poetry, the style is not limited; (3) Not less than 500 words; (4) All real names, place names and school names are replaced by English capital letters ABC; ⑤ Don't copy.
(1) Read the following materials carefully, and write a composition according to the content of the materials and the actual life.
1) Thread in the hands of a kind-hearted mother, making clothes for her wayward son's body. Before leaving, I had a stitch for fear that my son would come back late and his clothes would be damaged. But how much love an inch of grass has is three times! (Meng Jiao's Wandering Sons)
CCTV has a public service advertisement: After one day's work, a filial daughter-in-law calls a basin of foot washing water to wash her mother-in-law's feet. When the young children saw their mother's actions, they also took a basin of foot washing water and brought it to their mother, saying, "I want to wash your feet, too."
(2) Perhaps, some promises are your heart, and some promises are your impulse; Perhaps, some promises are as you say, and actions are fruitful; Some promises are buried in your heart and will never be said. But as long as it is a promise, it should be solemn and serious. (Adapted from Education, Reading and Writing Workshop, No.5, 2009)
Please write a composition on the topic of "Your Promise". When writing, please finish the topic first, and then write as required.
Full marks masterpiece one
Gray/white hair
A candidate in Chongqing
Years, flowing from black hair, wind, spreading the message of love, dyed black hair a little white.
When I was a child, under the buttonwood tree, my black hair was very dark and bright under the irradiation of sunlight through the gap. Black hair stood in the wind for a long time, smiling gently, looking at short hair jumping not far away, full of happy laughter.
At night, under the light, long hair sewed a schoolbag belt for short hair. Because the book is very heavy, long hair is afraid that the schoolbag can't bear it, so he sewed a little love on the strap of the schoolbag.
In the morning, Short Hair set out with this stronger schoolbag on his back. Short hair kissed long hair, and its tip touched the tip of short hair, emitting a beautiful fragrance.
In the evening, Short Hair came back with his schoolbag on his back, and Long Hair waited quietly by the door, smiling at Short Hair coming home.
After dinner, on the balcony, long hair and short hair are washed together, and the short hair is covered with bubbles, laughing on the balcony. Wash the foam off the long hair with clear water, gently rub your ears and eyes with your hands, and then gently wipe your head with a towel. In the moonlight, washed short hair looks black and bright, just like long hair, but not as long as long hair. Long hair gently touched short hair and said, "son, it will grow, just like mother's."
When I grow up, I have short hair and long hair, so I can sew my short hair schoolbag, hoping to bear more weight.
Under the buttonwood, there are long hair waiting, and-buttonwood leaves that have fallen all over the floor, and the short hair has grown. When I came back to visit the long hair, I saw a smile on it at the door, but it was no longer black and shiny.
At night, I was still on the balcony, but my short hair turned into long black hair. This time, the short hair from childhood was washed for the long hair, which was as white as foam. In the moonlight, long hair appeared silvery white luster.
The wind, blowing gently, raises wisps of white hair, conveys a little love, and makes short hair longer and darker.
Mark simple approval
In the examination room, this composition was easy, and the marking teacher agreed that this article was a perfect score for the following reasons:
First, the concept is exquisite and the structure is rigorous. Candidates integrate the deep emotion of maternal love into the "hair", and compare the mother's long hair with her short hair in childhood to highlight maternal love. When I grow up, I will repay my mother myself. The full text uses "long hair" and "short hair" to vividly compare mother and herself, which is very creative. Structurally arranged in chronological order, the structure is compact and the end is taken care of.
Second, the language is fresh and the emotion is simple.
Development grade
The language of this article is fresh and simple, just like a cool breeze in summer, refreshing. When the author creates artistic conception, whether he narrates the scene of being with his mother at night and in the morning when he was a child or the difference between him and his mother when he grows up, language gives people a feeling that naturally emerges from the deep heart. With long hair and short hair, the author deeply embraces the mother's love for her children and the child's dependence on her mother, which makes people have a different flavor. There is no flowery rhetoric in this article, but the plain language contains the examinee's sincere love for his mother.