This city suddenly gave me a strange feeling, a feeling I had never felt before. Walking aimlessly in the street alone seems to be a sufficient reason for me to wander around. On the street of Beihang Road, a shop opened, and the sound of fireworks was intertwined and passed into my ears. I couldn't shake it. The whole street is filled with a strong smell of gunpowder, which feels a little like the Spring Festival. Because the street lamp has not been lit, the desolate smell has become much stronger. Suddenly, I thought of the sadness during the Chinese New Year. When everyone is immersed in the joy of gathering, I am busy in KTV, not for enjoyment, but for serving the enjoyment of others. I was carrying boxes of beer and plates of snacks up and down, sweating but always on standby. It was already three o'clock in the morning when I walked out of the KTV door after cleaning thirteen private rooms. Walking on the streets full of New Year's breath, I was accompanied by only bustling cars and street lamps with rated power. I don't know passers-by, and even there is no one on the street. I guess those who were crazy during the day are all asleep at the moment, and I am the only one wandering around this city. Today's scene seems like this. There is no one I know on the road, and there is no phone call to greet me. Suddenly, sadness rises slowly from the bottom of my heart and is uncontrollable.
Originally, it was a city I was too familiar with to be familiar with, which would make me feel strange. A person's street, I am walking slowly, just like a child abandoned by this city, I don't know where to go. Stand on a platform that is not a platform, waiting for the bus. 1 1 Back to school, shivering, eyes reaching to the end of the road. Suddenly I think of waiting for the bus every day, thinking of my secret joy when I get on the bus, thinking of my chagrin when I miss the bus, and thinking of my strong desire to buy my own private car every time I wait for the bus. Today, when I was waiting for the bus, I was no longer annoyed, snickered and had no desire to buy a car. Just quietly watching the speeding vehicles, and then lit a cigarette for yourself, silently vomit a smoke ring.
For a moment, I would mistake the face illuminated by the lighter for a tramp's face, a scruffy beard and an unkempt face. But when I decided to take a closer look at myself, I found that I was wearing the white coat that had been washed thousands of times and the coat that I had worn for more than a few years. Therefore, the illusion that the flame of the lighter lit up the tramp's face was broken.
Think carefully, is the so-called illusion really an illusion? If it is an illusion, why do I feel abandoned by this city? I don't want to be bothered by some problems. Sometimes, the harder you try to clear your mind and find the answer, the deeper you will get.
This city doesn't belong to me.
In the night without moonlight and street lamps, there don't seem to be as many pedestrians in the street as I thought. For them, this journey is just the only way home. There is not so much sadness to express, and there are not so many souvenirs to stop. I used to think that having a house and a car, a woman who loves me and a child I love are my lifelong pursuits. Now that I think about it, graduation, work, marriage, buying a house and a car are no longer the reasons to support my good life. I am more concerned about how to make my life unusual and full of vitality. But looking back, it takes time to rummage through all my pockets to find a one-dollar bus, and then it will return to reality. The ideal is full, but the reality is very skinny. When I was young, I laughed at this sentence that was close to the truth, but now I have to re-examine the gold content of this sentence.
Life in the city was once the envy of our children from the countryside, but when they grew up a little, they began to criticize this city addicted to money. There are too many temptations. It is only now that we find that we are not even qualified to enjoy those things that we criticize. It turns out that we are too young and think highly of ourselves.
One day, when you look up and see that none of those warm lights are on for you, you will find that your life is wrapped in loneliness that you can't get rid of, and you can't earn it or escape. I have no reason not to work hard. I have no reason not to struggle. I will tell myself that at least, it is nothing for this city to abandon you. The most important thing is whether you have abandoned yourself.
When the loneliness of walking in the city is not so prominent, don't give yourself an excuse to give up, because what you can still have in this world will be envied by others, that is, struggling desperately.