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Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty read Sima Xiangru's Zi Xu Fu, and suddenly he said with regret:
"I can't be with this person at the same time!"
He was wrong. Sima Xiangru is not dead. Not all good articles were written by the ancients. It turned out that he and Sima Xiangru lived at the same time. Good articles, good artistic conception and good appreciation make time sentimental.
I'm not Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, and I didn't read Zixu Fu, but fortunately, I read many "people" better than Han Fu.
I am very happy to be with my respected teachers and friends, and I am also very happy to be with other people in the world. I'll try to write these people down. Thousands of years later, let others envy me and say, "if only I could have been born in that era!" " "
Everyone called him Duke Du-although he was only in his thirties at that time.
He hasn't taught my class, not counting as my teacher.
I have been in the same school with him for more than ten years, and often even in the same office-but I don't like to say that he is a "colleague".
Said he was a friend? Otherwise, although I can chat happily with him, my respect for him always makes me afraid to include him as a friend.
It is almost wrong to say "respect". He has a lot of problems, and many people in the office stay away from him. He is also quite helpless all day. Although there are happy days, there are more days of sighing. Even myself, it's not that I haven't quarreled with him and made me angry. It's just strange that I always respect him and like him. It turns out that we don't necessarily like those good-looking people, but we like some naked and direct people-jade with flaws is better than glass without flaws.
Duke Du is from Heilongjiang. For people my age, Heilongjiang is simply more beautiful than anything else, the Aegean Sea, the Vienna Forest and the ancient city of Pompeii in a vague concept. It's dark and deep, and you can't look up. It's a thousand-year-old black forest, a thousand-peak snow and a vast Wan Li, and a cracked, rushing river.
At that time, I just graduated and worked as a teaching assistant in the Chinese Department. He is a lecturer. At that time, the school was very small, and three departments shared an office. People are busy all day. Every time I come out of the single dormitory, I shout at the door:
"I'm here to' speak without meaning'!"
His throat seems to have been hurt by surgery, and he is very hoarse. Sounds a bit fierce (besides, he has a big skeleton from the North). After listening carefully, he found that every sentence was well-intentioned and absolutely amazing. Later, I read that Emperor Taizong talked about Wei Zhi (fierce and aggressive Wei Zhi), but he called himself "charming" and almost jumped up. This word describes Duke Du very aptly-although Duke Du has thick eyebrows, glaring eyes and swearing from time to time.
One day, he talked with another teaching assistant about western history. The teaching assistant suddenly asked him who died after the two brothers fought for positions in that history. He can't answer at the moment. Those two people were there for a long time, and I was impatient.
"I tell you, my brother and my brother are not dead. Anyway, up to now, both of them are dead. "
Say that finish, I also feel sad, like in a dream of red mansions, Zhang Daoshi said a soup for treating jealousy that had been eaten for a hundred years-of course it worked, and all the descendants died after a hundred years.
Duke du laughed:
"Yes, yes, of course, both of them are dead."
Since then, he has treated me differently and told me more, probably because he thinks I can appreciate it in particular-of course, he is particularly flattering me, after he took a fancy to the girl who lived with me, and that girl later became Mrs. Du. At this time, leave it alone.
Duke Du eats in the student canteen, and other faculty members should carefully dry the dripping water with toilet paper when they get the plates (that was more than ten years ago and has been improved now). Otherwise, Duke Du will throw the water and fill two bowls of rice. He eats faster and faster, unlike a scholar.
"Wipe what?" He said: "just wipe the wet bacteria into dry bacteria!" " "
After dinner, he also drank a terrible soup:
"Normal saline," he said. "Good!"
He probably suffered a lot and was often surprisingly free and easy. He recalled that when he was studying at Chengda Institute of Political Studies, he said:
"There were too many snakes-I closed the door in the shower one night and caught one."
Then he added:
"It was dark and I saw it the next day."
The room he lives in is very small, about four and a half tatami, and the dormitory is very crowded. He planted many pots of epiphyllum and invited us to enjoy it from time to time. In summer, sweet-scented osmanthus and mung bean soup, plum (he named it himself, cooked the yellow plum, peeled it and chilled it with honey), and in winter, laba porridge or dried squid with braised pork legs and vermicelli were served. I always thought he was deeply interested in flowers, but later I found out that he just wanted to surround the corridor with those barbed pots and pans so that others could not chat outside his window-it was really difficult for the poor teacher to create an environment for reading.
"this house can be called' not afraid of fasting'!" He laughed at himself: "forty or fifty without knowing it is not enough to be afraid-Confucius said."
He was in his forties that year.
Of course, this generation of China people may be unfortunate, but I especially sympathize with those born in the Republic of China for more than ten years. The older generation caught up with the ups and downs, and most of them were proud of the spring breeze. The younger generation grew up in Taiwan Province Province and gradually became talented young people. The generation in their fifties was born for suffering. Most of them lost their studies, even their families and their health. They struggled to study hard, but they could not produce beauty.
This reminds me of the tragedy of three generations of white-haired old people who were not reused in the era of Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty-he was still young when others used "the old man to seek the country"; Others use "young talents", and he is old again.
Duke Du Can kept writing poems. He wrote it down and threw it out. He doesn't cherish them, but he likes to pretend to be Mimi.
"Minangong is simply Minangong!"
Everyone ignored him. He shook off the original Minnan Gong.
Once, when he saw that I was in a bad mood because of one thing, he wrote a poem "When the big lady was not satisfied" in the preface of Han Yu's "Send Li to Pangu", which made people laugh.
On another occasion, a friend drew a picture of carnation, and he grabbed it and wrote to me: "The sound is deep and the shadow is beautiful." The pen and ink are fluent, the sentences are elegant and gratifying, and the mounting is very spiritual. Actually, I never told him that I liked him. Miffy was the first one. Mi Fei was just a distant name 800 years ago. He was a person, a real person.
Duke Du loves and hates clearly. When he sees someone or something that is not pleasing to the eye, he must come out. Once, a person he hated was transferred to another place, and then he came back triumphantly in the uniform of the new institution. He said quietly:
"Is this a uniform?"
"Yes!" The man became more and more proud.
"Is this for hats?"
"Yes!"
"Is this shoemaking?"
"Yes!"
That ignorant guy never realized that making shoes and hats was mourning.
Another person he hates also wore a new suit to show off one day.
"Nice suit, but bad inside!"
"Oh, the shirt is new, too!"
"I mean inside the shirt."
"sweatshirt?"
"More meaningful than a sweatshirt!"
Many people think that he is cheap and unkind and can't accumulate happiness, but I like him very much, probably because I want to do what he does-but I'm too embarrassed to do it. No one in the world hates me more than homesickness, so I don't even let go of Gong's shortcomings.
Moreover, it is precisely because he is picky about people and things that people feel that it is really a great thing to be appreciated by him.
In fact, apart from swearing, I can see at a glance that he is still a "scissors mouth and tofu heart." I remember that there was a boy in our class who was the captain of the football team and somehow assigned to the Chinese Department. One day, he put his schoolbag on a stone beside the mountain road and went to play ball. A History of the Development of China Literature in his schoolbag slipped out and fell into a ditch, soaking wet. Duke Du picked it up and let it hang for a few days. The man suddenly remembered his schoolbag and book. Duke Du returned the carefully hung book to him, and he didn't swear. Afterwards, he mentioned the boy who was covered in mud and sweat all day. He always smiled politely and said enthusiastically:
"That child!"
Duke Du is extremely clever, witty and knowledgeable, and he can almost never forget anything, so he has a deep understanding. He said that he liked poetry when he was a teenager. Suddenly one day, I was shocked to read Wang Guowei's Words on Earth. It turns out that his tone is the same as Wang Guowei's, and he never writes poetry again.
Du Gong's thesis is Political Symbols of China in Past Dynasties, which is highly valued by people who know it. The instructor was Mr. Pu Xuefeng, then director of the Institute of Political Studies. Mr. Pu appreciates his Chinese studies very much and recommends him to teach. I didn't expect the Chinese class to be open all the time.
The student's Chinese level is not good-and he doesn't intend to learn it well. He often glowered.
Once I was sighing:
"I will teach Chinese in the future. First, I won't dress up. "
"Forget it," he comforted me. "I am worse than you."
Really, teaching Chinese seems to have its own appearance, robes, white beard, coughing, shaking its head, poetry, nutrition gossip, looking up at the sky, ignoring notes, being sleepy, and K English in class. It's strange that I don't want to teach Chinese in this way.
When he met some old gentlemen, he said mysteriously:
"My name is Du Kuiying, Kuizhe and Grandpa Gua."
He speaks in all seriousness, and he laughs loudly when others leave.
Life is not happy, but it doesn't hurt the density of jokes in his words. However, although there are many jokes, they always lose their seriousness. He founded Thinking and Speech magazine 15 years ago, which is run by non-governmental forces and is a purely academic magazine. You really need the courage to "know what you can't do". Du Gong is older than most of his colleagues in thought and speech, but he actually agreed to be a publisher. Professor Hoover, Department of Political Science at National Taiwan University, recalled this past event and had a very vivid record:
"At that time, some friends were worth twenty or thirty years, and they also received some higher education. They really want to borrow new knowledge and do a little knowledge to serve the country. Therefore, when interest comes, we often talk about starting a magazine, but most of them give up after interest. However, once a few friends met by chance, brought up the past again and decided to give it a try. In order to avoid the heat wave in Taipei in summer, we made an appointment to go boating in Bitan, and then continued our conversation. Brother Kuiying is engaged, but he is a little old. We are worried that his enthusiasm may be slightly reduced because of his profound experience. Just when he bought the boat, he didn't arrive yet and thought he was giving up. In the middle of the boat, everyone said that Que Ying-ge was self-serious, had no identity as a public official and was the most qualified magazine publisher stipulated by the government, but he didn't come. Speaking of prosperity, I suddenly saw a boat in the dark in breaking the surface, and it was accepted by our ship's side. The rower climbed to the edge, and when he looked carefully, it was Brother Kui Ying. Everyone shouted: the publishing house appeared. Brother kui ying is indeed as arrogant as anyone. He not only agreed to take on the heavy responsibility of publishers, but also had a comprehensive idea of publications. "
Actually, more than the issuer? Isn't he the president, editor, proofreader, and even the person who writes the name and sends the notice? (The future history will record the literati in Taiwan Province Province. Their loveliness lies in the fact that everyone has made up magazines with a sense of shame. He used to be very poor, but now he has to "help the public privately" and become poorer and poorer, even borrowing money to get married. Duke Du's affair is closely related to me. I have been a third wheel until I am no longer needed. It was also a painful and lingering love, because the woman's family was almost dead against it.
When Du Gong talks about love, he almost becomes a different person, funny, cunning and enthusiastic.
Once he wanted to take me back, he brought a little English note to the girl, which read:
"Please come and look at the most beautiful pictures in the world.
Will make your heart beat faster.
tachypnea
……"
Bao Xiao (as we all call her) and I don't know where he got such a photo, but when we ran to see it, it was him who developed the photo of Bao Xiao.
He went to buy some thick wire, hammered it into a barbecue car with a mallet, and took us to Neishuangxi for a barbecue.
I don't know where he learned so many strange skills. When asked, he mysteriously learned the tone of Confucius and said, "How can I despise it?"
Bao Xiao came to ask my advice, which is very difficult. They are both my friends. I used to be a loyal third wheel, but since my friend asked for advice, I had to tell the truth:
"To say a friend, he is the best friend; When it comes to your husband, he may not be a good husband. People like him have always been considerate of others, and it is not easy to be his wife. Besides, you are seventeen years old, and you have been going abroad, and your family is so opposed ... "
Really, it is hard for parents not to object. He is in his forties, penniless and unattractive. His colleagues only said that he was paranoid, not to mention the high price of girls at that time.
For all the reasons, it is unreasonable to marry Duke Du-fortunately, love is not rational, so they got married later. Strangely, Bao Xiao's mother finally surrendered and took care of their children for two years while studying abroad in Bao Xiao.
Duke Du is not the kind of person who is modest, but as a husband, he seems to be much better than expected. He can cook, mop the floor, and plant flowers that he doesn't know. Knowing that I am going to have a baby, I can't help but read excitedly: "Alas, the surname Du is really annoying, and the name is really difficult to choose. Even the best name with the word Du will be reversed."
Once such a rude person is gentle, it will make people sad.
His daughter was later named "Du Keming" because of Lao Zi, which was really good.
We didn't see each other often when he later transferred to Chengda, but when Bao Xiao returned to China, he had a meal at my house. Many colleagues got together that day, plus his children and my children-it was really lively. In hindsight, everything is accidental, and once the situation is over, all the excitement will eventually become empty.
It was not long before I heard that he was ill. I was serious when I asked. There is a long cancer in the diaphragm of the lung. The doctor has given up the operation. What a clever man Du Gong is. He understood everything at once, but it was Bao Xiao. He kept it from her. I went to see him with two other female colleagues. He has lost weight, but he still has two chairs for us to sit on. Three people pushed them around and refused to sit. He insisted that we sit all the way.
"Oh," I said, "do you really want two chairs to kill three women!"
He smiled-he knew I used the allusion of "two peaches killed three scholars", but how many times can I laugh? I just want to smile.
He is still smoking. I said stop smoking!
"What should I quit now?" He smiled. "It's late anyway."
It was June, and summer was so gorgeous outside the hospital that I would go to America in the summer vacation-I knew it was the last time I saw him.
Later, I sent a business card, encouraging words:
"When you are ready, let's have a wine debate."
After writing, I feel very sad. I'm lying. I know that when I come back from my trip to America, I will be greeted by an overdue obituary.
During my stay in America, I sometimes wake up on a pillow in a foreign country. I dreamed of him, and I felt unknown.
For those friends who died young and left me, my mood is not so much sadness as anger!
Just like a group of children playing games in the square, everyone just figured out the rules of the game, just understood the fun of the game, just found their own group, but one of them quit without saying a word. How can you not be at a loss for a moment, or even be angry that someone lied to you!
All the children are still playing, but your playmate is gone!
Returning to China in September, he really died on August 14th, at the age of 52, and his orphan daughter was nine years old. On his deathbed, he wrote this couplet:
"If heaven is good, the nation will have a future, but it is better to die first than to be alone, and you can laugh at the world."
"There are many hardships in the world, and I have long been extravagant. I have been mediocre all my life. What are the benefits of living? Being lonely and weak is a shame. "
But what is particularly well written is the vernacular couplet of the daughter holding her father:
"Dad said he would stay with me until I got married and gave birth to a doll. Now how can he teach me to have nowhere to chase at once? How can you give up this daughter? "
"Daughter should give all the filial piety to your mother, I hope you often come to visit her in your dreams. I will call my father a few times. "
After reading it, he is really responsible, ambitious and talented.
Perhaps because I didn't attend his funeral, I felt that I almost lied to myself that he was still alive, especially when there was a work that satisfied me. I always think of him. His reading is so harsh that he can't easily say a word of praise. It is a happy thing to be stunned by him.
Every time there is a good joke, I think of him for no reason. It turns out that people who can enjoy a joke with you in this world are so rare.
Every time I think about it, I will be disappointed for a long time. Sometimes I'm surprised myself. We didn't meet for a year when he was alive. Why didn't I see him when he died? I remember reading a couplet once, but I can't remember it now. This seems to be written by Mr. Jiang:
There's nothing wrong with meeting.
Don't think of you often.
It is true that sometimes people can be so pale that they don't see each other for ten years, but they can also be so pale that they don't say a word. Even if you respond relatively, you can be so pale that there is nothing to call it. Strangely, they can become friends who know each other and cherish each other and live and die together.
I just found out that you know, I've been looking for σ (△|||) for a long time. )